by Angel Nyx
That was all Declan needed to hear. He ripped her panties from her and buried a finger inside her wet heat. He worked his finger hard and fast, and watched her face, wanting to give her release before he took her. “Come for me, doll.” Declan stroked his thumb over her clit to push her over the edge.
When he slipped a second finger inside her, Lily threw her head back and gave herself over to the aching need burning through her. Her hips thrust into his hand, and at his command, she could do nothing but obey. She cried out with her release and stood there shaking in his arms.
“That’s my girl.” He shifted a little and picked her up. “Wrap your legs around me, and don’t let go.” He got himself free of his jeans, managed to get a condom out of his wallet and on, then in one swift motion he buried himself inside her. He pushed her up against a nearby tree and stayed there, buried to the hilt, for a moment, as her wet heat gripped him.
“Declan…please…” Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew come morning she would be ashamed of herself, but right now it felt too right to tell him to stop. She needed this. They needed this. Just this once. She told herself it wouldn’t happen again.
Declan
Maybe it was selfish of him—hell, no maybe about it—it was selfish, but she was his mate. For fuck’s sake, he wanted her in a way he’d never wanted another woman in his life, and he knew she felt the same way. It was her sense of obligation and loyalty to that damn human that kept getting in the way. The moment she said she wanted it, he wanted to howl his joy to the moon.
Declan’s control snapped at her pleading tone and he thrust into her hard and fast. He knew he wasn’t going to last long, despite the fact male shifters generally had amazing stamina. He’d wanted her for too fucking long to be able to hold off his release for any length of time. The way she was keening and clawing at his back through his shirt though, Declan doubted she was going to last long either. Next time they could take their time and build the tension before finally letting go. He slid a hand between them and caressed her already sensitive clit as he pounded into her.
Lily was hovering on the edge of orgasm when Declan’s thumb caressed her clit. That single touch was enough to send her crashing over the edge, and she muffled her scream against his shoulder. Her nails dug into his back, and her inner walls clenched around him, dragging him over with her.
Declan bit back a howl when her inner walls clenched around him. He thrust several more times as she milked him of every drop of his seed. He held her close, kept himself buried in her as long as he possibly could, before he finally softened enough that he slipped out. As his legs threatened to give out on him, Declan sat on the ground, taking Lily with him. He pulled her close and cradled her in his lap. His fingers caressed her side and he nuzzled her neck. “Fuck, woman, that was…mind-blowing,” he growled against her skin.
“Mm…it was,” she agreed. “I’ve never… That was so intense. We should…get back before Emelise gets worried.”
Declan could feel her mentally pulling away. He should have expected it, but it pissed him off, and it hurt. They’d just shared a mind-blowing moment together, and now she was pulling back into her shell. What was it going to take to get through to her? “Don’t pull away. And don’t you fucking dare feel ashamed by what just happened between us, Lily. It’s natural. We’re mates; we’re supposed to want each other this way.”
Lily struggled to get up, and there was a look of relief on her face when he loosened his hold on her so she could stand. “I can’t talk about this right now.” Before Declan could say anything else, she bolted.
Declan watched her go and wanted to howl his frustration. If she thought this was the end of the conversation, she was sorely mistaken. He knew the reason for her panic was because of her sense of loyalty. What transpired between them went against everything she stood for—he knew that—so he would give her time to come to terms with it, and with the connection between them. He’d give her a day or two, but then they would talk.
Lily
Lily was in a daze. She’d never had such a powerful orgasm as the one she’d just had with Declan. Her entire body hummed from it, and she felt more sated than she could ever remember feeling. She was glad they were now sitting because she wasn’t sure she would be able to stand at the moment. Her legs felt like rubber, and all she wanted to do was curl up somewhere and sleep.
After the fire faded some, Lily was embarrassed by how easily she’d given in to the animalistic need to be with him. She felt ashamed and struggled to get out of Declan’s embrace. When he let her go, she bolted.
Lily felt panic rising. What had she done? Oh gods, how could she have cheated on Keith? It went against her very soul to cheat and yet she’d done it. She needed to get out of there; she’d swim through the bayou and risk running into gators if she had to.
Lily made her way first to Emelise and then to Remy. She didn’t tell her best friend why she was suddenly so desperate to get back to the city; she wasn’t sure she could tell her without bursting into tears there in front of everyone. “Remy, I need to go, now.” She winced at the strain in her voice.
Remy cocked a brow at her. “Did he hurt you, cher?” A threatening growl escaped him.
Lily’s eyes widened at the growl and she realized how she must look. “No, it’s not… Just please, take me back. I know you want to celebrate the birth of your nephew, but I really need to go right now. I’ll swim if I have to.”
“Da fuck you will. Come on, cher, I can come back to da celebration.” Remy took her arm and, with Emelise on her other side in case Lily stumbled, he gently guided her toward the boat.
Lily was quiet on the ride back to the city. Her mind was in a turmoil. She wished she could blame it on the whiskey but that was only a small part of it. It had lowered her control over her animal urges but the whiskey didn’t make her fuck Declan. That was all on her.
“Give me the keys, Lily, I’ll drive,” Emelise said gently as they neared the dock. “Don’t worry, I’ll stay with her tonight,” she added to Remy before he even spoke.
Remy nodded. “Good. She shouldn’t be alone. Whatever happened, it shook her up but good.” He helped them both out of the boat and waited until they were at Lily’s car before he headed back the way he’d come.
Lily was only vaguely aware of the ride back to her apartment. By the time she came out of her daze, she was curled up on her sofa with a cup of tea in her hands. “I fucked him.” Her voice was a soft whisper. She was almost afraid to look at Emelise, afraid of the look that might be in her friend’s eyes.
“I kinda figured that since his scent is all over you. Lil, it’s okay. I totally understand what happened. He’s your mate and things came to a head. Hell, you probably saved me from the same damn thing because if Caine kept trying to get me alone to talk, I don’t know that I would have been able to keep myself from getting naked with him.”
Lily felt tears stinging her eyes, and after a moment of fighting them, she let them fall. “What I did tonight goes against everything I believe in, Eme. I cheated on Keith. I betrayed his trust. How am I supposed to be okay with that?”
Emelise scooted closer to her and wrapped her arms around her. “You own up to it—you tell him everything, including that you’re a wolf shifter, that Declan is your wolf’s mate, and that you gave in to the animal side of you in a weak moment. Then you decide which one you’re willing to give up: the human you care about but doesn’t compliment your wolf, or the wolf who completes you in every way.”
“You make it sound so simple,” Lily said through her tears.
“Oh, no, girl, it’s going to be hard as fuck to look him in the eye and tell him everything. We both know that. But he deserves the complete truth from you, and if you don’t come clean with him right away, it will eat away at you.”
“Gods, what a fucking mess.” Lily wiped her eyes. “But you’re right. I have to tell him when he gets back from his business trip. I’m sure he’s going to hate me, or at
least be hurt very deeply.”
“That can’t be helped, honey. All you can do is be honest with him and go from there.”
Lily sighed softly. She knew Emelise was right. She sipped her tea before reluctantly heading to bed. She was exhausted, both emotionally and physically, and fell into a deep sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.
Declan
Declan was nursing a drink when Remy Delacroix returned. He saw the anger in the leopard’s eyes and straightened his stance. If the leopard wanted a fight, he’d gladly give it to him.
“What da fuck did you do to Lily?” Remy snarled as soon as he was standing in front of Declan.
“I didn’t do anything to her. We fucked and afterward she pulled her walls back up around her.”
“So you took advantage of her being tipsy on whiskey and pressed her for sex?”
Declan laughed. “I didn’t take advantage of her. I made fucking sure she wanted it—I asked her and she said yes. Just because she felt embarrassed, because her wolf was more in control than the human part of her, doesn’t mean I pushed her into it. I’ll give her a day or two to come to terms with what happened, then she and I will be hashing things out. She’s my mate and I’m not giving up that fucking easily. If you’ve got a problem with me pursuing my mate, tough shit.”
“You just don’t get it, do you?” Remy was all but snarling at him. “Lily’s not da type of girl to stray. She’s more than embarrassed, she’s ashamed, and probably hatin’ herself for betrayin’ da trust of dat boy she’s been seein’ for da last two years. You can call it whatever you want, but we both know if she’d been stone-cold sober, she wouldn’t have given in so easily, and you took full advantage of dat. You’ll be lucky if she doesn’t ask Caine to rescind his permission to let you stay in our territory.”
Declan narrowed his eyes at Remy. He didn’t like that the leopard knew Lily so well, and he really didn’t like that Remy had hit too close to home with the accusation he’d taken advantage of the situation. The truth was, that was exactly what he’d done. “She won’t. She might try to avoid me, but she won’t go that far because, deep down, she wants to be with me too. She’s fighting it out of a sense of loyalty to her boyfriend, but I can deal with that.” He sounded very sure of himself.
Remy snorted. “Just watch yourself, and don’t you fuckin’ hurt her or you’ll have more den just me comin’ after you.” With that he stalked off to get something to drink and calm his cat down.
Declan watched him go and played back what had happened between him and Lily. He wasn’t wrong about her; she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. Tonight proved it. Now all he had to do was find a way to repair the damage he’d done by taking advantage of the situation. Knowing Lily, she wasn’t going to make that easy for him.
Chapter Ten
Lily
Two days. That was how long it had been since the night she lost control of her wolf and gave in to the animal need to be with Declan. Two days of not being able to sleep properly, two days of swinging back and forth between shame because she’d betrayed Keith and the desire to feel Declan’s arms wrapped around her and his cock deep inside her. To say she was an emotional mess was putting it lightly. It was late morning and she was trying to get up the energy to get her day started. She had to work that evening, but all she really wanted to do was crawl into bed and ignore the rest of the world. A knock at her apartment door pulled her from her melancholy thoughts, and she headed to answer it with a soft sigh.
Keith, who had returned from his business trip a little early, had picked up some beignets from Cafe Du Monde and some coffee from Gathering Grounds, and headed to Lily’s apartment. He stood there with coffee and bag in hand and a smile on his face when the door opened. “Hey there, beautiful.”
Lily wasn’t expecting Keith to be there; she’d been half afraid it was Declan, but when she saw him a sob escaped her and tears were suddenly streaming down her cheeks.
“Oh, honey, what’s wrong?” Keith stepped inside the apartment, closed the door behind him, set the stuff in his hands down, and then pulled her into his arms. “Lily? What’s wrong? What happened?”
“Oh gods, Keith…I’m so sorry…I just…” She closed her eyes a moment and took several deep breaths to calm herself. She gently pulled from his embrace and moved to the sofa. “We need to talk. There are some things I need to tell you, things I should have told you long before now.” ‘Goddess, please don’t let him hate me.’ She sent up a silent prayer as she sat down.
Keith joined her on the sofa before he reached out to hold her hand. “Whatever it is, Lily, you can tell me. You can tell me anything, you know that.”
Lily bit her lip before she swallowed and dove right in. “I should have told you about this a long time ago, I know I should have, but I was scared. I admit it, I was a coward because I really liked you, and then it deepened into something more and I just… I’m making excuses and you deserve better than that. The thing is, Keith, I’m a shifter. Wolf, to be exact.”
Keith turned to look at her. “That… I definitely didn’t expect that.” He frowned a little. “Why were you afraid to tell me before now?”
She shrugged. “I didn’t want you to look at me in fear, or worse, horror, and then dump me. I was trying to leave that part of myself behind. I came here to start over and I was afraid of your reaction.” She played with the hem of her shirt a moment. “I’m not just a wolf shifter, I’m the daughter of my old pack’s Alpha. There were expectations. My father gave me an ultimatum I didn’t agree with so I left and ended up here. He wanted me to settle down with a wolf of his choosing and have babies and that wasn’t what I wanted. When we met and you asked me out, it felt nice having someone interested in me for myself, not for my position and what it could get them.”
Keith listened intently. “I think I understand why you didn’t tell me. It makes sense you’d be worried. Yeah it feels like you didn’t trust me enough to be open with me, but I understand it, honey.” He touched her cheek. “There has to be more to this story though. There’s no way that is what had you so upset when I got here.”
She didn’t want to tell him. She knew what she was about to say would tear his heart out, and she hated herself for it, but she had to be completely honest with him, now. “It’s not.” She took a deep breath and forged ahead. “Shifters are a little different from humans, besides the obvious, that is. Humans meet, get to know a person, and sometimes fall in love. It’s a process that takes time. Shifters can and will do that, as well, except for when they meet the person who is intended to be their animal’s mate. When that happens, the connection is immediate and intense. Animal instincts take over if you’re not careful. It can make things complicated. My father found out I was here in New Orleans and sent a pack member down here to bring me home. He’s the older brother of someone I grew up with, but he left the pack when he was eighteen or nineteen, which was when I was three or four, so I didn’t know him. He’s the guy who was bothering me at my work, and then followed us to the club.” She lowered her gaze from his and couldn’t look at him. “He’s…my mate.”
Keith gave her a puzzled look. “I’m confused. If that’s true, why were you so angry with him for following us? You threw your drink in his face and told him off.”
“Yeah, well, he said something that made me angry.” She knew it wouldn’t take him long to put two and two together.
“I’m still not sure why you were so upset,” he said then his eyes widened. “You slept with him, didn’t you? Lily, look at me. Did you sleep with him?”
She lifted her gaze to his and the pain she saw in his eyes hurt her heart. “Yes,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean for it to happen and I’ve been sick over it the last two days. New Orleans is part of the Black Water Pard’s territory; they’re leopard shifters. I was given permission to stay because I didn’t pose a threat. I had to take him out to meet with their Alpha. While we were there, my friend Mia, you remember her—we had dinner with
her and her mate, Gage—she went into labor and there was a big celebration when the baby was born. I drank several shots of Jack Daniels and…I lost control of my wolf’s urges. It’s not an excuse, it doesn’t change what I did, and I hate myself for it. I can barely sleep, I’ve barely eaten anything, I can’t even bare to look at myself in the mirror because what I did went against everything I stand for. It went against my own moral code.” Her voice came out in a choked, broken whisper.
Keith was silent for several long minutes. “You say it’s animal instinct; does that mean it could happen again? If I have to go out of town for a few days, am I going to come back to find out you’ve slept with him again?”
She closed her eyes and wished she could erase the last three days but she couldn’t. “To be honest, I don’t know but…maybe. Probably. I don’t know that I can fight my wolf forever.”
“That’s what I thought.” He traced her cheek with his fingertips. “I’m sorry, Lily. I love you, but I can’t do this. I can’t be with someone who can’t commit to me fully. I know this is hurting you; I can see the pain in your eyes. I know you feel horrible because of what happened, and, God knows, I wish I could forgive you and pretend like it didn’t, but you’ve already admitted that there’s a very real chance it’ll happen again, that something will cause you to lose control. I think it would be best if we end things now, before either of us gets hurt even more.” He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I hope he realizes how lucky he is,” he said before he got up and headed for the door.
“Keith…wait…please. I’m so sorry. I never… Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do.”