Oh God! She palmed her face. She suspected it, thought she felt it, but she hadn’t admitted to herself fully until now that she loved him. And she did. Wildly. The admission terrified her. If he broke her heart, she didn’t think she had enough mental glue within her to restore the pieces.
“Mia, it’s not what you’re thinking.” He pulled her hands from her cheeks and held them. “This has nothing to do with another woman or past relationships. I have never felt about any woman the way I feel about you. I swear. This issue has to do with me physically.”
The news calmed the pounding of her heart. His latter comment started a whole new series of shakes across her body. “You’re ill? Oh God, Nathan, no!”
He squeezed her hands and smiled. “No, honey, I’m as healthy as a horse. It’s very complicated and I’m going to need a good chunk of time and privacy to talk to you about it. You can finish lunch, but I don’t want you to cook tonight. I want us to go out to a nice restaurant, relax, let you sample some amazing cuisine that might inspire you. Afterwards I promise I’ll explain everything. The only think I ask, rather beg of you, is to keep an open mind.”
Her emotions were running high gear and she was curious as heck, but to put up an argument or demand answers now wouldn’t be wise, given her frame of mind. She nodded briskly.
He leaned down and kissed her. “Please don’t be afraid. I love you and maybe I’ve done some things I shouldn’t have, but I swear to you I would never intentionally hurt you.”
“Okay.” He looked a bit dubious as he stared at her for several more moments. No wonder. She knew her expression had to be terror-ridden and shocked. Too much information fired in her head at once.
My Lord, he’d just said he loved her!
“I mean it, Mia. I’m in love with you.”
She shook her head, overwhelmed. Lord! Sometimes she felt as if he could read her mind. “I love you too, but you’re scaring me, Nathan. What did you do?”
He sighed, then reached out and caressed her cheek. A very sad smile played at the corners of his mouth. “We’ll talk about it tonight. I have a Skype meeting with Dominic in about ten minutes and I’m going to be tied up most of the day with business. He gave her a soft kiss then pulled back. “Do you really love me?”
The look on his face was almost painful. Mia blinked at him a couple times trying to get a pulse on his sudden weird mood. “Falling in love with you was the last thing I wanted, but yes, I love you. I’ll admit I’m a little more than scared considering this secret or whatever it is I don’t know about you.”
He swallowed hard and exhaled another long breath. “I hated keeping this from you, but Mia I had no choice. I probably fell in love with you the minute I laid eyes on you, but I knew until you felt the same way I couldn’t share this aspect of my life with you. It would have been too hard for you to understand. I’m trusting that your love for me will help you accept this difficulty in my life and some of the things I’ve done because of it, which I’m not very proud of.”
Mia stared at him, fairly certain her expression mirrored the confusion and fear swirling in her head. Numerous scenarios filtered through her thoughts, from something criminal he may have done, shady business dealings. Given who he was, there was no telling. However, she was completely certain of one thing—Nathan was a good man. Troubled obviously, but everyone had their demons. She just hoped she could accept and help him with whatever ones ruled his life.
“I have to go, love, but please don’t worry. We’ll work this out. I promise.”
“Okay.”
He nodded, gave her hand another squeeze, then released her. “Mia, I’m not letting you out of my life. Get that straight. I’ll see you soon.”
She watched him leave, rubbing her fingers across her lower lip that still tingled from his kisses. Her heart beat so hard and fast, she felt like she’d just finished an emotional triathlon. What in the world could this be about? She snapped her fingers. Bet Julia would know. She ran to her purse, dug out her cell and texted her.
Minutes later, Julia entered the kitchen. “Hello, my darling. You wanted to see me? Oh, how was your Fourth of July? Nathan told me the two of you were going to spend it together with some of your friends.”
Her smile was brilliant and knowing, but faded when Mia couldn’t muster a similar one. “It was great, Julia, but I have to talk to you about Nathan.” She walked over to the breakfast nook and took a seat. Julia followed, her expression ripe with concern.
“What is it, cher?”
“Nathan just told me he’s been hiding something from me. We’re going to talk about it tonight. The only clue he gave me has something to do with him physically, but he said he’s not sick. I’m so worried. Is there anything you could tell me? I have a feeling I’m going to need to be prepared for this conversation.”
Mia could tell Julia knew precisely what Nathan hid, because guilt flashed across her face like a neon billboard. She swallowed hard, then said, “If I could tell you, my darling, I would, but it is not my story to tell. It will likely be shocking to you, but the fact Nathan has chosen to reveal this means he’s grown to trust you. My advice, from my heart of hearts is to realize how much he cares for you. Try to listen with your heart and be understanding. Please don’t hurt him.”
“I would never hurt him. I love him.” Why would Julia say that? What was the nature of this mystery surrounding him?
She smiled brightly. “That news blesses me. He loves you too, Mia. He is your life-mate. I can promise you that.”
Mia frowned. This was the second time she’d used that term and Nathan had used it himself yesterday. “What do you mean by life-mate?”
“The one God designed specifically for you. Dimitri is mine. There can be no other ever for those blessed with a true life-mate. Nathan is yours. You will understand what I mean in time. For now just enjoy the unfurling of your love for one another.”
Her ambiguity was as bad as Nathan’s. However, Mia was pleased to see her new friend a woman of faith, but did God really design a person specifically for another? People married and divorced every day and went on to the next relationship. She wasn’t okay with that at all, but in this day and age it was par for the course. She wanted what Julia and Dimitri had. She wanted happily ever after. Her body and soul ached to have it with Nathan.
She let out a little groan of frustration. “I’m so freaked out, Julia. He wants to take me out tonight to some fancy restaurant. He said afterwards he’d tell me whatever it is he feels I need to know. I’m so nervous, I doubt I could eat plus I don’t have a thing to wear.”
Julia’s face wreathed with a calculating grin. “Well, I can help you with the latter dilemma. We are going shopping, cher.”
Mia rolled her eyes and giggled. “Fine. I could certainly use your help in that regard.”
She figured shopping with Julia would be a good distraction and it was. They traipsed around malls and specialty shops most of the afternoon for the perfect dress, shoes and bling. However, Julia had other ideas as well. She took them to a trendy spa and forced Mia to do the works—a facial, manicure, pedicure and some crazy seaweed body wrap, mixed with mud that reminded her of a hog swallow. It smelled just as bad.
At first, Mia protested, fearing the toll it would take on her debit card. She’d been saving money like crazy for this visit with her kids and didn’t want to spend too much on herself. She’d argued with the woman until she was blue in the face, but Julia won and paid for both their spa indulgences. Mia figured another paycheck from Nathan and she could refund her.
Julia went with her to her apartment to help her get ready for her night with Nathan. By the time Mia was dressed, she had to say, Julia knew her stuff. She’d insisted on doing her hair and make-up.
Now standing in front of the mirror in her bedroom, viewing the results, Mia realized the woman had missed her calling in life. She could have been a stylist or make-up artist for the stars. “Oh my God, Julia. Thank you. I actually look…good
.”
“No, my darling, you look ravishing. Nathan will not be able to keep his eyes off you tonight, which was exactly my purpose. Red is definitely your color. That dress is divine.”
Indeed it was. The little, slinky number with spaghetti straps and a deep cleavage line, hit her mid-thigh. She sported a pair of four inch red stilettos with straps that wrapped around her ankles. They were couture and sexy as hell. Mia felt femme fatal and loved it.
The doorbell rang and her gaze slashed toward Julia. “Oh Lord. Am I ready for this, Julia? I’m scared.”
Julia squeezed her hand. “You are, cher. If you’re patient and understanding, it may be one of the best nights of your life. Just remember Nathan loves you.” She gave her another once over.” And I assure you he won’t devour you, although I’m sure he’ll be thinking about it.”
She left to get the door, leaving Mia wondering about rather odd comment.
As soon as the driver closed the door of Nathan’s limo they were on each other like two pieces of flypaper stuck together. He hauled her onto his lap and captured her mouth, kissing her like he hadn’t seen her in months. She was just as bad. His hair was loose, and her hands were busy playing with the inky softness while she languished in the delight of their intimacy. His hands got even busier than hers. He snaked one beneath her dress and slid his palm up her outer thigh and hip. When he started tugging at the waistband of her panties, a measure of sanity made her break the kiss.
“Stop that, Nathan.” She pushed his hands off of her and settled herself on the seat next to him. She tried for a sexy smile because she didn’t want to act prudish, yet she wanted him to know she wasn’t quite ready for the x-rated ideas filtering through his head.
His gaze raped over her and he growled. “You are utterly vexing tonight. I don’t even know if I’m going to be able to eat. Food anyway.”
Mia didn’t know what to make of him. Sometimes his southern drawl and that strange, sexy growling noise he made, sucked rational thought from her mind. “Well, you can blame Julia for your misery. She was the catalyst to this result.” She waved a hand in front of her body. “Hope you like it?”
He snorted, his eyes still blazing with lust. “That has to be a rhetorical question.”
“Behave, Nathan. Where are you taking me by the way?”
He released a heavy breath and shook his head, obviously trying to clear it. “The restaurant is fairly new. It’s Mediterranean. I tried it once several weeks ago and was very impressed. I think you will be too.”
Nathan had been spot on regarding this restaurant. Mia watched all the cooking network shows and didn’t realize until they arrived, that the owner of this restaurant was Eddie Penn, one of the most popular up and coming chefs in the country right now. How Nathan even managed a reservation astounded her, then again he was Nathan Davenport.
When they entered the richly appointed place, filled with all things Greek and Mediterranean gracing the entrance and adjoining dining rooms, the host sporting a tux immediately seated them. The place was packed but they didn’t wait five minutes for a server.
“Can I help you select a wine, sir?” the male server asked.
Nathan studied the wine list for a minute then looked at her. “What kind do you like? Or would you prefer a cocktail?”
“I like most any wines, but a oaky cabernet preferably with a pepper, vanilla or coffee accent if they have such.”
As a chef, Mia knew much about wine, but suspected Nathan knew more and was correct when he ordered an Opus One, an older year. The server smiled, complimenting his selection. Mia bit her lower lip because Joe carried Opus. The bottle probably cost more than her next month’s rent.
“What do you like to do for fun, Mia?” Nathan asked as he reached across the table and held out his hand.
She took it and glanced upward, then attempted a sexy smile. “Hang with you. Make out with you. Just anything with you.”
Correct response, she thought when his eyes lit with appreciation and desire. “Well, every free moment I have for the rest of my life is yours if you want it.”
Man, she wanted to snag that line like a fat trout on a shiny new lure, but forever with Nathan? Until he revealed this secret of his, no forevers were in her man fishing forecast. “We shall see, Nathan. I want to be with you forever more than anything, but I realize this evening is going to end with some news I might or might not be exactly partial to. Honestly, I’m more than a little worried.”
His expression mimicked her latter comment. “I’m sure you’ll be shocked. In fact you’ll probably have a hard time believing me, but it’s not bad.” He shrugged. “Well, not in my opinion anyway, but you may feel differently. I just hope you’ll judge this issue in light of the fact I love you. As I said, I did some things I shouldn’t have, but I’m hoping once I explain what…” He paused and swallowed hard. “…ails me, you’ll understand why I did.”
His response prompted a mountain of questions she of course couldn’t ask here. She really wanted to believe he loved her because she was madly in love with him. Mia didn’t believe herself to be a judgmental person, so she felt confident whatever he exposed to her, she would take in stride. “Well, all I can say is once we cross this mystery hurdle, we’ll see if something permanent lurks in our futures. In the meantime, let’s have fun.”
She picked up her menu and started scoping the culinary delights. Together, they were extraordinarily bad. They ordered three entrees each and four appetizers between them. She’d requested to-go boxes before she handed her menu to the server.
They feasted. The wine Nathan ordered was surely the best she’d ever tasted. She frowned at the bottle as she poured the last lonely drop into her glass.
Nathan chuckled, waved over their waiter and ordered another.
“You’re spoiling me tonight, Nathan. Lord, I’m full. I’ll need a wheelbarrow to get me out of here.”
He started laughing and looked about. “I see none, but I’ll be happy to ask the waiter if they have one in the back.”
“You are so much fun, Nathan. When I first met you, I would have never imagined you could be so down to earth. You impress me.”
“Then I’ve succeeded with my intent. I swear to you, Mia, I’ll spend the rest of my life doing whatever it takes to impress and please you.” He swallowed hard and looked into her eyes with purpose. “Don’t ever leave me, Mia. I swear to God, I couldn’t handle it.”
That comment freaked her out. His expression, his tone and the mystery hanging in the balance tonight sparked another round of fear in her heart. She wanted to be with him forever, but what was this big secret? “What are you hiding from me, Nathan? You said it was something physical.” A crazy notion took root. “Oh my God. Please tell me you haven’t had a sex change operation!”
He started laughing so hard, he put his linen napkin to his mouth to stifle the sound. Thankfully, the server returned just then, presented proper wine service, giving them re-enforcements for their laughing fit. Mia took a sip. “You didn’t answer me,” she chided.
He grinned. “You’ve got to be kidding?”
“Well, with the mystery surrounding tonight, what’s a girl gonna think?” She took a healthy sip of the decadent wine and winked at him. Of course she knew better, she just needed to lighten the mood.
“Come on, Mia, you know better. Seriously, honey, just enjoy for now. We’ll get into it later. The only thing I ask is that you remember everything we’ve shared and most importantly that I am the person you’ve grown to know.”
She forced a smile, but didn’t reply. The festivities of the evening were fading for her at this point. She wanted answers. Nathan obviously sensed her mood and waved over the server for their check.
A short time later they were back at his home. His territory. His ground. Mia was scared. She knew Nathan would never intentionally hurt her and understood he wanted privacy for this talk. Still she felt a bit vulnerable as he guided her into his living room because she had n
o idea how this mystery might affect their relationship.
She’d passed by this room a number of times, but hadn’t been inside. It was beautiful. A throwback to an era where ladies sipped Mint Juleps in the afternoon and wore corsets that gave them the vapors. She was fixing to have a fit of them herself at the moment as Nathan led her to a red velvet, Victorian couch with the most intricately designed wood edging across the back and arms she’d ever seen.
She sat and glanced about. Antiques abounded. The fireplace situated between two tall windows with lovely forest green, velvet curtains, sported a mantel that must have been some carver’s most prized work of art. There were old tin-type photos along the top. She couldn’t view them properly from this distance to see the people within, but she swore a couple strongly resembled Nathan.
Nathan sat next to her and took her hand. His expression was riddled with fear and it fueled her own. “Just spit it out, Nathan. It can’t be that bad. I’ve seen your heart. It’s good.”
He shook his head. “No, actually you haven’t, not completely, but I’m going to show it to you now along with some other things. I’m about to put everything on the table between us. Complete honesty. Please don’t be frightened.”
Mia frowned. “I know you love me and I love you. This can’t be an unsurmountable issue.” She could have sworn tears welled in his eyes, but then he glanced at his lap and blinked a few times. When he looked back at her, his beautiful eyes were dry, but so sad.
“I do love you, Mia, more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I made some very bad choices that involved you when we first met. Please don’t judge me too harshly.”
Mia blinked at him. “Nathan, you’re scaring. I can’t promise you anything until I know what I’m dealing with. What happened? What did you do?”
“Close your eyes, Mia.”
Aggravated and confused but needing answers, she obeyed. Moments later, images of her and Nathan began to roll through her head. The point of view was all his at first. She could see herself through his eyes. Him looking at her and she wore work clothes. They sat face to face in his limo. He leaned in, took her in his arms and began to kiss her. She heard him mutter delicious sexual phrases that made her blush they were so stark. The words weren’t verbal, but inside her mind. The oddity of it didn’t register because she was caught up in the passion blazing from him to her. She began to feel it soak into her own mind and body, lighting a fire that stole rationale.
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