by Celia Aaron
She rested one hand on his arm and closed her eyes as he kissed her, but she wasn’t there. Not really. She was here with me. His touch was just a placeholder. I told myself that on repeat.
My father had taught me little rhymes when I was a child. They were meant to remind me how to be human when people were watching me or when I felt nervous.
Smile when they smile. It’ll take you miles.
When in doubt, wait it out. Emotions will always show what they’re about.
I hummed the simple singsongs to try and calm my rage. It didn’t seem to be working, not when Link was pushing Camille down onto the couch and covering her with his body.
“”What did I do wrong?” I replayed the conversation I’d had with my grownup neighbor over again in my head. “She was smiling, so I thought maybe I should laugh.” I kicked at the grass as the summer sun beat down on me.
Dad knelt to get to eye level. “I know. Sometimes emotions can be confusing. You have to look for context, Sebastian. The rhymes aren’t enough anymore. People are too complex, and you need to understand the nuances now that you’re older.”
“Like what?” I’d done what I’d been taught. What was the big deal?
He shook his head, his eyes tired. “The nuance of your conversation with Mrs. Penny was that she was discussing her daughter who died last year.”
“And she smiled.” I nodded as vindication welled in me. “So that means I should smile or maybe laugh, right?”
He squeezed my shoulders and squinted his eyes. “No, son. No. She was smiling because she was thinking of a fond memory of Rose. But, the truest emotion, the one beneath the smile, is grief. When someone we love dies, we feel sad.”
“Like when Mom died?” I’d felt more confused than anything. One day, she just didn’t get out of bed. Dad had told me about death, but I didn’t realize it was real. Not until Mom left.
“Yes, like that.” His mouth turned down at the corners, and his eyes watered. I recognized his sadness easily, so why was Mrs. Penny’s so hard to see?
He tilted his head back, then returned his gaze to mine. “You have to look beneath the surface. Find what’s true in a person. See what they need, what they expect from you. That’s what makes you human. Trying to connect. Does that make sense?”
No, not in the least, but I decided to stow away his words until later, when I’d have time to think about them. “I think so.”
“Good.” He stood, his shadow blocking out the sun. “The next time Mrs. Penny mentions Rose—”
“I won’t laugh.”
He patted my shoulder. “That’s a start.”
I stared at Camille, looking for her nuances. She spoke to me, her body, her eyes—all of her. I could read her, no guesswork needed. Perhaps that was what drew me to her in the first place, the way she telegraphed her emotions directly to me, as if we were connected by a thin, invisible wire.
Link was still on top of her, his mouth on hers. I rubbed my sweaty palms down my pants and considered calling him and making up a work issue. Anything to get him away from her. But I didn’t have to. My Camille must have somehow sensed my anger, because she pressed against Link’s shoulders.
He pulled back. “Would you like it better if I was more of a bad guy?” Frustration colored his words.
“Where did that come from?” She looked stricken. “No, of course not. You’re the best man I’ve ever met.”
“Then why do you keep pushing me away?” He kissed her again, still too gently. She didn’t want polite. My Camille wanted the sort of darkness only I could give her.
Link could never be anything other than a moron in a white hat. No matter how hard he tried, he wouldn’t be able to save Camille from me, because, in the deep recesses of her heart, she craved me. The fair maiden wanted the monster more than she needed the knight.
She shook her head and pushed on his shoulders again. He sat back and pulled her up so she sat next to him. His back stiffened in what I knew to be anger, but he kept his voice too low for me to hear. I smirked as I thought about how blue his balls must have been.
She crossed her arms over her chest in a defensive movement. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” He shifted his hips—and his useless boner—away from her. “I shouldn’t have pressured you.”
Pussy.
They spoke a little more, then she stood with a resigned air that told me she was leaving for the night. During the few weeks that I’d been watching, I’d been pleasantly surprised each time she refused to sleep with Link. When we’d first met, I’d taken for granted that they were fucking, but I’d been wrong. It was as if Camille knew that she was waiting for me.
He walked her to the door, gave her one final kiss, and then watched her walk away. She would go to her friend Veronica’s apartment. I had it wired right along with everything else. Whenever Camille was in the city, she spent her nights there, so I needed to know what went on.
Link closed the door and leaned against it, then snaked a hand down his pants. He headed toward the living room and opened his laptop. I’d learned he had a particular thing for anime porn. True to form, he opened what seemed to be his all-time favorite wank flick—a big-breasted girl with anime eyes getting gang-banged by several different men. Cartoon bukkake coming right up.
I made a disgusted sound and flicked the screen off before his solo session got into full swing. He was a moron. If I had a girl like Camille, I’d masturbate to her every fucking night. No, actually, if I had a girl like Camille, I’d be eating her pussy like it was a competition and then shoving my cock deep inside her every chance I got.
I popped a Tums.
Link couldn’t close the deal because he wasn’t right for my girl. And so he was destined to spend his nights jerking it to cartoon characters while I fantasized about how perfect Camille would feel on my cock.
9
Camille
“Don’t forget to work on your photosynthesis projects over the break. I want some groundbreaking science on my desk before the Christmas holi—” The bell rang, drowning out my voice, and the class rose in a wave of nervous energy.
My students fell into conversations about the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday as they cleared the room. Mint lagged behind, his tie in a messy knot and his pants wrinkled. I’d wanted to talk with him about what I’d learned, but every time I tried to break through to him, he cracked wise or attempted a lukewarm come-on. Always deflecting.
I steeled myself for another attempt and strode up to his desk.
He shook his head and didn’t look at me. “Don’t start today. I can’t deal with it.”
“Mint, please. I only want to help you. You are so bright, and you could have an amazing future ahead of you, but not with the grades you’ve been getting this semester.” I edged closer. “You can talk to me, you know?”
He met my eyes, and for the first time I saw the vulnerable young man beneath his swagger. “Why can’t you leave me alone?”
“Because your future is important to me.”
He sank back into his seat and stared up at me. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re relentless?”
“Not lately.” I sat down in the desk opposite him, the wooden seat still warm from its last occupant. “What’s going on with you?”
He sighed, the sound far too heavy for a boy to carry. “I don’t want to go home for Thanksgiving.”
“Why not?”
He glanced to the door, perhaps weighing his opportunity for escape. I stayed silent, not wanting to spook him now that he’d finally opened up.
“My uncle will be there. And my dad. And my mom.” He grabbed a pencil and bounced it on the desk, the eraser making a small thud with each impact.
“And that’s bad because…”
“Because my parents hate each other, and…” More pencil bouncing. “And because my uncle has been doing it with my mom.” His face flamed red. “I, um, I caught them. I went home for the weekend in October. His car was at the hou
se. I walked in, heard noise, and saw them. They have no idea that I know. I left—walked out and haven’t been back or spoken to Mom since.”
The bell rang again, and Dr. Potts’ monotone floated through my classroom.
Mint shifted in his chair. “I guess I had this idea that my parents would start getting along again, the way they used to. Before my dad got his new job and went traveling all the time, we were a tight family. He used to take me fishing. And all three of us would go to the beach once a year. It was sort of like a ritual.” He gave a sad smile. “I even got irritated about going a couple of years ago, because I wanted to stay and party with my friends instead. That was the last year we went, and I spent the whole time sulking like an asshole. We’re never in the same room anymore.” The eraser bouncing stopped. “And Uncle Hal is always sniffing around. Dad has no idea what his brother’s been up to.”
I wanted to reach out and take his hand, but that sort of contact might give him the wrong idea. “Carrying a secret like that is a heavy burden.”
“Yeah.” He blew out his breath in a low, steady exhale. “I want to tell my dad, but…” He shrugged. “I don’t want my mom to leave. She’s always been there for me, way more than Dad.” He glowered. “I know I sound like a pussy when I say that.”
“No, you don’t.” I squeezed his shoulder before folding my hands in my lap again. “I know you don’t want to believe this, but you’re still a young man who needs his parents. Heck, I’m twenty-four, and I wish I could tell my mom all my problems.”
A ghost of a smile traced his lips. “Twenty-four? You’re older than I thought.”
I laughed. “Thanks.” I couldn’t decide if that was a good thing, but it didn’t matter. He’d finally opened up and given me a chance to help him, and I’d count that as a win.
He sobered. “Do you think I should tell Dad what I saw?”
This was the hard part. “No, but I do think you should tell your mom.”
He blanched. “I can’t talk to her about that.”
“I know it sounds awful. But the guilt you’ve been having, the pain her actions have caused—she would want to know about it. I can tell she loves you from the way you talk about her.”
“Yeah, she’s been calling, but I’ve been avoiding her. I sent her a few texts to get her to back off, but I know she’s hurt and doesn’t understand why.” He rubbed his eyes.
“This is my new assignment for you for the Thanksgiving holiday. Sit your mother down and have the talk with her, okay?”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“You can. I promise. You don’t have to get into details. Just give her the general picture and see where it goes. No matter how she reacts, you won’t feel the same burden that you do now.” I motioned toward his biology textbook. “You can’t focus with this weighing on you. I need you to work harder than ever before for the rest of this school year. Your grades have to make a drastic improvement for you to get into a good university.”
“I know.” Fatigue dulled his words.
“Healing this rift with your mom is the way to do it.” I gave in and squeezed his hand before standing. “You’ll see.”
“All right.” He rose and shouldered his backpack. “I’m going to do it. Or, at least I’m going to try.”
“Good.” I walked to my desk and wrote down my cell on a piece of scratch paper. “If you need any moral support, give me a call or send a text.”
He smiled, some of his cockiness filtering back in. “I got the hot teacher’s number.”
I put my hands on my hips. “Mint—”
“Okay, okay. I’m kidding.” He hurried to the door, then paused. “But seriously, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
He disappeared into the hallway, and I caught a “Hey, watch where you’re going!” from him before the door slid shut.
I wedged my thumbnail into the small space between my two front teeth, worrying away at it. Giving students home life advice wasn’t exactly in my job description, but then again I was supposed to mold them into decent human beings. I only hoped that my advice to Mint was solid.
A knock sounded, and Gregory entered, a too-big grin on his face and no mail in his arms.
“Why are you smiling like th—”
The door opened wider, and Sebastian strode in, his emerald eyes finding mine as soon as he stepped into view.
Gregory mouthed “he wants me” as he stopped at the edge of my desk. “And this is a fine example of one of our classrooms. Ms. Briarlane teaches biology, with a particular interest in botany, and also sits on our scholarship board.”
“I believe we’ve met.” Sebastian offered his hand, and I took it in a daze.
“Hi.”
Gregory looked back and forth between us and cleared his throat. “You two know each other?”
“Yes. I, um, I mean, this is Sebastian Lindstrom, Link’s boss.”
Recognition fired in Gregory’s eyes. “The one you danced with?”
Sebastian smiled and gripped my hand a little tighter. “You’ve been talking about me?”
I wanted to crawl under my desk and stay there until the last bell rang. “No, not really.” I glared hate fire at Gregory.
“It’s all right.” Sebastian’s gaze flickered to my lips. “I found it to be quite memorable too.”
His scent, the same sophisticated mix of sandalwood and leather from the gala, ignited the memory of what it felt like to be in his arms. My heart stutter-stepped forward, then took off as if it were running a race.
“Whew.” Gregory fanned himself with his hand. “We need to see about getting the heat fixed in here. It’s on overdrive.”
I pulled my hand from Sebastian’s as a knowing look played across his face. Did he realize how off balance he threw me with just a few words?
“You won me over with your little speech about helping the less fortunate students via scholarships. I intend to donate to the need-based fund, and the headmistress insisted I come for a visit.” He ran his hand down the smooth front of his charcoal-gray suit coat. “And Gregory has been kind enough to give me the tour.”
“My pleasure.” Gregory smiled up at him, clearly smitten.
“That’s very generous of you.” My tongue began to cooperate, barely. “We appreciate any funds we can get.”
“So this is your domain?” Sebastian walked to the window, the afternoon sunlight flowing around him and casting his tall shadow far along the floor. “And these plants are yours?” He inspected the row of sprouts in the window.
Gregory made a “go on” motion with his hands, mischief in his eyes. “Sell it,” he hissed.
I followed Sebastian and pointed to the first row of green shoots. “These are a hybrid tomato species that my students worked on. They’re a particularly special variety created right here in my lab.”
“What’s special about them?”
“The hybrid is between an heirloom variety known for its sweet taste and a modern variety known for bigger fruits and stronger vines. I gave my students the choice of having sweeter tomatoes that ran smaller, bigger but not as sweet, or medium-sized tomatoes crossed with another type of tomato known for insect and fungus resistance.”
He stroked his index finger down one of the bright green leaves and held my gaze. “So they chose the sweeter version?”
My voice tried to die in my throat, but I continued despite his direct stare. “They did. And based on some creative hybridization, they chose traits for sweetness and hardiness. I was surprised by what they came up with.” I smiled. “And pleased. The proof will be in the tomatoes these plants produce in our small greenhouse.”
“They sound like smart kids.”
If I could have puffed my chest out with pride without looking like a peacock, I would have. “They are. Once I get back from my trip over Christmas break, we’ll transfer them to individual plantings and record each step of their progress.”
A shadow passed across his eyes. “Your trip?�
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“Oh, I got accepted on an expedition to the Amazon.” Even more pride seeped into my voice, along with a touch of excitement. “I’ll be leaving right when school lets out for the holiday.”
“Sounds exciting.” He smiled and, for some reason, a shiver shot down my spine. “I imagine you’ll learn a lot on your trip, though I hope you’ll be safe while you’re out there.”
“I will. I’ve spoken to the lead scientist, Dr. Williams, a couple of times by phone, and he seems competent to lead the group, though he’s not as into the botanical aspects as I would have expected.” In fact, he’d shied away from talking about the specifics of the expedition, but that was likely because he had spotty cell service and could only talk for a few minutes at a time.
“Perhaps he’s leaving those areas up to you?”
I shrugged. “I hope he gives me plenty of latitude to follow my instincts.”
“Just be safe.” One corner of his lips quirked. “Keep an eye out for predators.”
“I will. There will be security for us at our camp site and in the forest, according to Dr. Williams.”
“I’m glad.” He tucked my hair behind my ear in a too-familiar motion. “Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.” His fingers paused at the sensitive spot right below my ear.
His touch started a chain reaction. Desire sparked inside me and flowed out to the edges of my senses. My stomach tightened, and I wondered what happened to all the air in the room. His pupils expanded, the black swallowing up the indulgent green until only a slight rim of color remained. There was something animalistic in it, as well as the way he loomed over me. My breath quickened as he let his fingers trail down the side of my neck to my shoulder.
I hadn’t done anything wrong, but I got the acute feeling that some part of me had just cheated on Link. The part that longed for Sebastian’s fingers to rove farther, to explore more than was allowed on school grounds. His cool smile hid a darkness, one that I could feel seeping from him and caressing me with terrible promises.
Gregory cleared his throat. “We need to finish the tour and get back to the headmistress’ office.”