by Rosie Clarke
‘Yes, I promise,’ he said and took Beth’s place by the bedside.
Sally looked flushed, certainly as if she had some kind of fever, which made Ben fear for her life. Fevers were unpredictable and could be anything. Leaning over, he placed a hand to her forehead. She was burning up!
He turned as the door opened and a doctor entered. He looked at Ben, who was still in the uniform of a British Army Captain.
‘You managed to get here then,’ he said gruffly. ‘I’m Doctor Rusk and I’ve been caring for your wife since she was brought in; it’s just as well you’re here, because we may have a decision to make later…’
‘What kind of decision?’ Ben’s heart caught with fear.
‘We’re not sure yet if this is typhoid or another contagious fever,’ the doctor said. ‘We warned the young woman who was here earlier not to get too close. Your wife seems very ill and I may have to move her to an isolation hospital – but I’m concerned about the other condition.’
‘What other condition?’ Ben’s heart stood still. What hadn’t his wife told him? Did she have some illness she’d concealed from him?
‘The child,’ the doctor said and frowned. ‘Didn’t you know? Your wife must be nearly two months pregnant and we’re not sure yet if she has a contagious disease or whether it is something to do with the pregnancy.’
Sally gave a little moan and her arm moved restlessly.
‘I didn’t know – but would that make her so ill?’
‘There are cases of a kind of poisoning in pregnancy. It may be that her body is rejecting the baby or it might simply be another more common fever. We need to monitor her for a while, but she could suffer a miscarriage because of the illness… or we might have to give her medicines that would cause her to lose the baby…’
Ben’s eyes closed for an instant. Why hadn’t Sally told him about the baby? He remembered the fainting fits she’d had during her first pregnancy but that hadn’t happened until later in her pregnancy, and it certainly hadn’t made her ill like this – if that’s what it was? She’d fallen so easily the first time and he’d hoped they would have another child while Jenny was still small, but there had been no sign until this – and now Sally was ill. He couldn’t lose her. He didn’t care if they never had another child. Jenny was enough, but he needed Sally.
He looked the doctor in the eyes. ‘Can you save her?’
‘Possibly… but there is a distinct likelihood that she could lose the child if the fever worsens.’
‘That would be sad for us both, but Sally is more important,’ Ben said firmly. ‘I can’t lose my wife, doctor.’
‘I completely agree with your decision,’ the doctor told him with a brief smile. ‘While we’ll do all we can to keep both of them alive, we can only do so much and I wanted to prepare you for the worst.’
Ben looked at his wife’s face. She had been flushed, but now she looked pale and he felt a flicker of fear. ‘Is she going to die anyway?’
‘That is always a possibility with a fever. They are unpredictable, but we shall be watching over her and she won’t die if I can prevent it.’ His gaze narrowed. ‘I realise you have other commitments, Captain Harper, and you cannot be here all the time – but how long do you have free?’
‘I was expecting to be at home a couple of weeks,’ Ben said and frowned. ‘But I need to be here for Sally, so I’ll take compassionate leave.’
‘Good.’ Doctor Rusk nodded his approval. ‘She will need friends about her when she wakes and her recovery may be slow,’
Ben indicated his understanding. He thought it was good fortune that Jenni was in London, for the store would miss Sally’s guiding hand and he could not give it his attention while his wife was so ill. Once she recovered – if she did! – he might be forced to return to his Army work; although he was not British and not obliged by law to give his services, he’d done so willingly, because London was his home now. When America had entered the war, he’d considered enlisting in the Armed forces, but it would have meant starting all over again and he was comfortable in the position he already held here in Britain. Besides, he might have been sent a long way off and his feeling now was that he didn’t want to be far away from his darling wife. If he should lose her – but he wouldn’t let himself think like that!
‘I will arrange for a cup of tea to be brought to you,’ the doctor said after he had finished his examination of Sally. ‘Not much change, I’m afraid, but don’t despair, she is young and strong. It’s your child I fear we may lose…’
Ben shook his head impatiently. An unborn child was nothing to him compared to his wife.
Sitting by the bed, Ben reached for Sally’s hand, holding it firmly in his own and bending his head to kiss it. ‘Please don’t leave me, my love,’ he said fiercely. ‘I can’t lose you. I won’t. You have to fight – fight for me and Jenny. Live for us, my darling. I beg you, live for us…’ He watched her closely in the hope of seeing a flicker of recognition, but there was none. Wherever Sally had gone, he couldn’t reach her.
‘Ben – why are you crying?’
The question made him aware of the fact and he flicked away the tears he hadn’t realised he’d shed from his cheek. ‘Jenni! I’m glad you came. I think we may lose her—’
‘Nonsense,’ Jenni said. ‘Sally isn’t going to just give in to a fever.’ Jenni bent over the bed and placed a hand on Sally’s forehead. ‘She’s very hot. Why isn’t someone bathing her forehead to cool her?’
She rang the bell impatiently, gave instructions to a nurse, who came, accepted Jenni’s instructions and left.
Jenni then put a comforting arm about her brother. ‘Cheer up, sweetheart. We’ll soon have her out of this morbid place. She’ll do better at home with a private nurse to care for her.’
When the young nurse returned with a bowl, cloth and tepid water, Jenni soaked the cloth, rung it out and began to soothe it over Sally’s face and arms. Ben watched, feeling helpless and wondering whether his sister knew what she was doing, but after about half an hour, he noticed that Sally had stopped sweating so much and seemed easier. She was no longer moaning and her colour looked better.
‘Is that because of what you’ve done?’ Ben asked, looking at her in awe. ‘How did you know?’
‘My mother had fevers sometimes. Her doctors said she was prone to them and that’s what they told me to do – but Sally needs constant nursing and she may not get it in a busy hospital.’
‘You think we should take her home?’
‘Yes, I do,’ Jenni told him. ‘Mrs Hill and I will look after Jenny and Pearl can nurse Sally. She told me that as soon as the doctors say it is all right to move her, she will nurse her day and night.’
‘You don’t need to be anywhere else?’ he asked. ‘What about your own life?’
‘That can wait,’ Jenni replied. ‘Andrew is very patient. He has to be to wait for me to make up my mind and then try for the divorce I need – but all of that can wait until Sally is on the mend. I shan’t desert her or you while you need me.’
‘I knew you’d have it organised,’ Ben said and smiled. ‘Thank goodness you’re here, Jenni.’
‘Sally needs to be at home, but first of all we need a proper diagnosis, which is why I’ve asked Doctor Symonds to come and see her – he is a specialist in treating pregnant women.’
‘So, you knew Sally was expecting? She didn’t tell me.’
‘I doubt she knew,’ Jenni said, ‘so don’t go feeling shut out, Ben. I wondered a few times. I heard her vomiting one morning but I think she was afraid to hope.’
‘Doctor Rusk says she may lose the baby…’
‘Rubbish!’ Jenni said in a brisk tone. ‘Wait until Doctor Symonds sees her.’ Her calm manner was helping to allay Ben’s fears and he smiled at her. Jenni was right. He was letting his terror of losing her rule his head and that was stupid. Sally needed him to be strong and hold things together until she was well again.
18
Rachel
visited Sally in hospital the next evening. Ben had returned to the flat to wash and shave, after sitting with his wife all night and day, leaving his sister to sit by the bed. When Jenni saw Rachel, she greeted her warmly and stood up.
‘I’m glad you’ve come. I need to stretch my legs and get a drink of coffee. They brought me tea, but it was undrinkable. The sooner we get Sally home, the better.’
‘Is she able to come home?’ Rachel asked, looking anxiously at Sally’s pale face. ‘Has the fever gone?’
‘It is abating a little,’ Jenni replied. ‘They are keeping her cool by bathing her now. Pearl came in today and she gave her a bed bath; it brought her temperature down considerably and the doctor instructed that the nurses continue the treatment.’
‘Have they said what is wrong?’ Rachel asked. ‘I’ve been thinking of her all day and everyone at Harpers is worried about her.’
‘Yes, I know,’ Jenni replied. ‘The doctors have done tests and one of the nurses told me she thinks it may be some sort of blood poisoning, caused by her pregnancy, but they don’t seem to know much about it… toxic something she called it.’
Rachel nodded thoughtfully. ‘I’ve heard about something like that in the past – a woman I knew when I was first married.’ Her eyes darkened with distress. ‘She died, they couldn’t save her—’
‘Don’t say it!’ Jenni begged her. ‘Ben couldn’t bear that and I should miss her terribly.’
‘All her friends would,’ Rachel said and Jenni looked as if she would burst into tears. She left the room hurriedly and Rachel took her place by the bed. She reached forward and took Sally’s hand in hers, holding it gently.
Sally murmured something and Rachel bent nearer to hear her words. It sounded like mother.
‘Are you asking for your mother?’
‘Told me…’ Sally’s words were slurred, but Rachel held her hand and soothed her brow with the cold compress Jenni had been using. ‘Her name… my mother…’
‘You met your mother?’ Rachel was astounded because she knew Sally believed her mother to be dead. She looked round, wishing Jenni was still in the room and wondering whether she should call the doctor, but Sally was trying to talk to her so she leaned nearer. She stroked Sally’s damp hair back. ‘I love you as dearly as anyone, Sally, my love, but I think your mother is dead…’
‘No… she came to me… in the park…’ Sally’s eyes opened and she was staring straight at Rachel. For a moment she seemed to have regained her senses. ‘She wanted to tell me before, but she was afraid…’
The effort was too much for her. Sally’s eyes closed and she fell back on the pillows but a tear slid down her cheek, followed by another.
The door opened and a doctor entered, his gaze going to her at once.
‘Crying? That’s something. We’ve had nothing from her these past two days.’ He bent over to check her pulse. ‘She seems a little stronger.’
‘She spoke to me about her mother…’ Rachel faltered. ‘I thought her mother was dead, but she was telling me she’d seen her. Perhaps it was just the fever…’
‘Or something on her mind as the fever started to break.’ The doctor beamed at her. ‘You will be glad to know that the fever has broken. She feels much cooler. I think we’ve been lucky or her friends’ prayers have saved her, because I didn’t expect her to live when I saw her first. These kinds of fevers often result in swift deaths, because we just don’t have anything to combat poisoning in the blood – but either we got it wrong or you’ve just witnessed a small miracle.’
‘Thank God,’ Rachel said and her own eyes filled with tears. ‘We all love Sally and I don’t know what Harpers would do without her.’
‘Well, you will have to manage for a while, because this young woman needs rest. Whatever this illness was – and I admit we’re still not sure, except that we believe it was a kind of poisoning, probably caused by the pregnancy – she has been, and is still, very unwell and will need a prolonged period of rest.’
‘Yes, I agree with you, and fortunately, she has a loving family and friends to take care of her,’ Rachel said and looked up as Jenni entered the room. ‘She spoke to me, Jenni – and the doctor says her fever has broken.’
‘Well, thank God for that,’ Jenni said, suddenly practical again. ‘In that case, how soon can we take her home?’
Rachel was feeling much lighter of spirit as she left the small room that was separated from the general ward and walked down to the hospital’s main entrance. It was as she was about to leave the hospital that she saw her husband step out of one of the consulting rooms. He stopped as he saw her and for a moment confusion and guilt were in his eyes and then he frowned.
‘Did you follow me here, Rachel?’ he asked.
‘No, I came to visit Sally Harper,’ she replied. ‘I told you what I was going to do, William. At breakfast this morning…’
He glanced away. ‘Sorry, my dear. I’d forgotten, but you did mention it…’
‘Why are you here, William?’ Rachel looked at him oddly. He’d been acting so strangely lately and she’d thought he regretted their marriage, but now she wondered if there was some other reason, he’d been silent and withdrawn. ‘Are you ill?’
‘I should have told you…’ he admitted and looked resigned. ‘I was trying to save you pain, my dear. I wasn’t certain of the results of all the tests and examinations…’
‘But now you are?’
‘Let’s get out of this place…’ Her husband took her arm and steered her from the hospital into the busy street. ‘We’ll go to the pub across the road. I could do with a stiff drink…’
Rachel went with him, saving her questions until they were seated in a corner of a comfortable pub just down the road. She watched as he bought drinks at the bar, whisky for himself and a sherry for her, but then she could hold the questions inside no longer.
‘Are you ill, William? Please tell me the truth.’
He took a gulp of his whisky and then looked her in the eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Rachel, but the short answer is yes. I wanted to keep it from you to save you pain, but I know you sensed something.’
‘I thought you were regretting our marriage,’ Rachel told him, her throat catching with the tears that she struggled to hold back. ‘What is wrong, William? Please tell me.’
He gulped down the rest of his whisky and then reached for her hand. ‘I thought at first it was the same illness that took my father young… it’s hereditary and shows itself as chest pains, leading to shortness of breath and then a heart problem.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I went for tests and they’ve just told me that I have tuberculosis and they want to send me to an isolation hospital on the coast. I shall probably be there for some months…’
‘William!’ Rachel’s tears spilled silently. ‘What do they say – how bad is it?’
‘I’m not sure,’ he said, looking uncomfortable. ‘I’ve been told I must go soon, and in the meantime, I shouldn’t have intimate relations with my family, lest I pass it on. I think they want to test you, too. I’m so sorry, Rachel. I shouldn’t have married you. You suffered enough with the illness and death of your first husband.’
‘Of course, you should have married me,’ she said. ‘I’ve been happy with you – and I’ll come with you so that I can visit…’
His hand tightened over hers as he shook his head. ‘No, my love. That can’t happen. I shall be isolated, I’m not sure they will even let me write to you – or you to me…’
‘No…’ Rachel’s wail reflected in his eyes and she saw the pain her grief was causing him. She’d been wrong to think he didn’t love her. He’d kept his secret torture from her to save her pain. ‘I love you, William. I don’t want to lose you.’
‘I shall fight,’ William promised her. ‘I know how much I have to live for and I shall come home to you, my love – if God wills it…’
Rachel fought her tears. The last thing he needed to take with him was a picture of her sorrowful face. She made herself s
mile, closing her hands around his. ‘I know you will, and I’m sorry I doubted you for a moment.’
‘That was my fault. I’d hoped for better news and that it would simply be a slow degeneration of a heart condition, but now…’ He shook his head. ‘We shall get through this, Rachel. You must stay here with your friends and continue to do your job. I thank God that you did not leave Harpers, my dearest, for if the worst should happen…’
‘It won’t,’ Rachel said strongly, even though inside she was fearful that she might never see him again once he left for the hospital. ‘You will get better, my love, and as soon as you can return home, I shall take time off to nurse you while you regain your strength.’
He nodded and smiled, but there was a faraway look in his eyes that worried her. She had the feeling that he was already preparing himself to leave this life and it broke her heart. Rachel had known of the hereditary heart problem in his family, but he’d seemed to be clear of it – but now he had an equally distressing illness that might take him from her.
‘We’ll go home and spend the rest of the day together,’ he said, smiling at her. ‘In the morning I must leave.’
Rachel nodded and reached for his arm. They left the public house and walked to the nearest cab stand together. Reflecting that troubles never came singly, Rachel thought about her best friend lying in hospital. Sally would have hugged her and told her to keep her chin up had she been well and Rachel missed her. She had other friends, of course, but Sally was the one she needed now and she prayed that she would soon be well again. It would be unbearable if she were to lose either of her dearest friends, for it was William’s friendship, his humour and his gentle kindness that Rachel would miss more than anything while he was away.