by Rosie Clarke
‘I know how you feel, love. I really do, but we can’t change the past no matter how we wish we could.’
‘I know.’ Kathy took the handkerchief Marion offered and blew her nose. ‘I’m going to cook my supper and if anyone else wants any…’
Marion smiled. ‘Sarah and I ate a good supper earlier, but Dickon just came in and he’s always hungry. He’s been celebrating being given promotion and a rise in wages with his friends. I’m sure he would love some of your chips, Kathy.’
She led the way downstairs. Sarah looked at her and she nodded. Dan was enjoying a cheese sandwich and a mug of strong tea by the fire. He frowned as Kathy entered and began to fry her supper, but when she asked if he wanted anything, he asked for a few chips.
Sarah went upstairs to check on her baby and Marion took a few moments to work on a design she’d discussed with Mr Marco. She and Kathy went to bed at nine, leaving Dan and Sarah alone in the kitchen.
‘He’s home for three weeks,’ Sarah had told Marion when they were washing some cups in the scullery together that evening after supper. ‘Dan wasn’t hurt, but their ship suffered some damage and they had to limp into port and wait while it was repaired. He would have sent a message, but they were told not to because it might have given the enemy valuable information. He said they’d hoped to be home a month ago.’
‘He looks well,’ Marion had said, ‘and it was a minor miracle that he walked in when he did. We should have got help somehow, but Dan made it so much easier – and I’m glad he took him to the police rather than giving him the thrashing he has so often threatened.’ She’d grinned at Sarah. ‘Mind you, that was a sharp blow you gave him. I think you’d done half the job when Dan got here.’
‘I wasn’t going to let him hurt you or Kathy. You’re my family!’
‘I know – and Pa had it coming for the way he treated all of us.’
‘Dan told me that before we married and had a child, he would’ve gladly done him injury. He’s wanted to kill his father for years, but that’s all gone now. He says he’s seen enough killing. Strangely, he felt sorry for his father and that’s something he never expected to feel…’
‘Yes, I feel a bit that way myself,’ Marion had said. ‘We shall never know what made him the way he is, but I know he truly believed Ma betrayed him with another man, though she always swore she didn’t. We can’t know the truth for sure, but whatever, his jealousy destroyed him and her…’ She’d sighed. ‘I thought it might have destroyed Kathy’s life too, but fortunately, I believe she is beginning to get over it. Did she tell you about the job offer?’
‘Yes, she did,’ Sarah had said and smiled. ‘I’m thrilled for her. I think she will be happy there cooking – and you have everything you want, Marion, so we’re lucky…’
‘Yes, we are lucky as a family,’ Marion had agreed. Many families had lost loved ones to the war, but thus far all Marion’s family had got through with minor injuries. If the papers were right, and they were hinting the war might end within a few months, they could all get on with their lives.
Maggie’s letter arrived just as Marion was leaving for work the next morning. She put it in her coat pocket and read it during her tea break later. Maggie had written that she was going down to the country with her fiancé and that the wedding would take place in three weeks’ time.
I’m sorry you don’t think you can get down for the wedding. I’m hoping that Sally and Beth will, though Rachel has already said she doesn’t think she can make it.
Your news about the baby is wonderful. I doubt if we shall meet much in the future, Marion, but do keep in touch through letters and cards if you can.
The letter spoke of her wedding outfit, which was just a simple ivory velvet dress that she could wear for normal occasions. Maggie said nothing of being in love or being happy and Marion got the distinct impression that she was far from happy.
She sighed as she put it away. It seemed everyone had their troubles, but Maggie Gibbs had had more than her fair share. She knew how lucky she was and felt sorry for Maggie, who she believed was making a mistake.
Later that day, Mr Marco asked her if something was wrong; they were working together on the latest window display and she told him that she thought Maggie was making a big mistake.
‘I know Mrs Bailey and Mrs Harper spoke to her about it when she was in London,’ Marion said, ‘but I don’t think she listened. I like Maggie and I know it isn’t my business, but I feel sad for her.’
‘Perhaps it is right for her,’ Mr Marco said thoughtfully. ‘Love doesn’t always take the same form, Marion. Sometimes, when you’ve lost the person you loved very much, a compromise is the best you can do. You have to find a way to go on…’
Marion nodded. ‘I think that’s just what she is doing,’ she said. ‘As I said, I can’t interfere, but I hope this marriage doesn’t lead to unhappiness for her.’
‘Maggie is strong,’ he replied, ‘and if she has agreed to marry this man, then she has her reasons. Reasons the rest of us can’t understand.’
28
Maggie perched on the edge of the bed in the room she’d been given. It was the most beautiful room she had ever seen, furnished in shades of cream and rose with gilded, dainty furniture that belonged to a bygone age. ‘The Regency room,’ her fiancé’s father had told her. ‘It connects to my son’s apartments and is intended for the heir and his wife. You have a bedroom and a sitting room so that you can be private when you choose, Miss Gibbs.’
‘Please, won’t you call me Maggie?’ she asked and offered a friendly smile. If they were to be related by marriage, she felt they needed to be less formal.
He nodded, inclining his head slightly. ‘Of course, Maggie. I wanted to thank you for agreeing to this arrangement. You won’t lose by it, I assure you. As my son’s wife, you will be given an allowance that will make you financially independent.’
‘I didn’t agree to marry Colin for money,’ Maggie said and looked him straight in the eyes. ‘I wanted to make him happy – to give him something to live for…’
‘You are a generous girl,’ he acknowledged stiffly and she realised he was finding it all difficult. She’d had a good education and she’d won praise and a medal for her war work, but Maggie knew she wasn’t of their background and in normal circumstances Colin’s father would probably have opposed their marriage. ‘That money wasn’t meant as payment. His wife would always have received it on their wedding day.’
‘Then thank you,’ Maggie said. ‘I hope we can be friends, sir. Since we will all live here.’
‘Of course. I am grateful to you…’ For a brief moment he smiled awkwardly. ‘I am not much with words, Maggie, especially since my wife died, but I shall give you all the respect you deserve as Colin’s wife.’
‘Thank you.’ Maggie knew that was as close as he could get to being a real friend to her. He wasn’t much warmer to his son and she totally understood why Colin had not wanted to return here alone. His home was beautiful, but cold and impersonal. She thought he’d wanted someone warm-hearted to make a home with and understood that need. This room had more warmth than any of the others she’d seen so far and she imagined it had recently been redecorated, most likely with another woman in mind – the woman Colin had intended to wed before his war wounds had ruined his hopes. ‘I shall do my best to deserve your respect, sir.’
Her prospective father-in-law nodded and left her to settle in.
The estate and house were bigger and more impressive than Maggie had expected and for a while her new surroundings overwhelmed her, making her wonder what she’d agreed to – how could she ever be the lady of the manor? The ridiculous idea made her smile and suddenly her mood fled. Nothing had really changed. She’d agreed to this marriage because her life had seemed empty and all her friends at Harpers had moved on without her.
She shook her head. Sitting in this lovely room brooding would not change anything.
She knocked at the door which joined Colin’s
and then entered through when he invited her to do so. His room was elegant but, decorated in maroon, gold and black, very masculine, and Maggie thought a little depressing.
‘My father’s wedding gift to me…’ he indicated the rich maroon hangings at the windows and the matching quilts on the large double bed. ‘God knows it was bad enough before – now it is like a bloody mausoleum.’
‘It’s a bit too grand for me,’ Maggie admitted and laughed softly. ‘We can soon mess it up a bit with books and clothes left about if you like… and flowers. They always brighten anything.’
‘Yes, I should like that,’ he said and grinned at her. ‘You make me feel so much better, Maggie. I couldn’t have faced this without you.’
‘It is a little daunting,’ she agreed, ‘though you grew up here, so I don’t suppose it seems grand to you. I lived in a small terraced house with neighbours each side.’
‘You should have been born to a palace,’ Colin said, surprising her with a smile of such warmth that it lit up his face, making him the man she’d only glimpsed until now. ‘You’re a wonderful person, Maggie. Thank you for giving me back my life…’
‘I haven’t done anything much,’ she said, but he reached for her hand and held it.
‘You’ve done more than you could ever imagine,’ Colin said in a voice deep with emotion. ‘I like you more than you realise, Maggie. I was bad-tempered when we met and I may be again if things upset me – but you’ve made me feel a king to the way I was feeling.’
Maggie nodded. His smile touched something inside her and she squeezed his hand. ‘Why don’t we go for a walk in the lovely gardens I glimpsed as we arrived? It is a nice day, cold but bright, and that won’t last much longer. It will soon be fogs and ice, so we might as well make the most of it – and I’d love to explore a little.’
Maggie suddenly felt excited. She realised that it was a whole new world and with all the trees in the gardens and surrounding countryside, the changes of scenery would be glorious: winter had the dramatic lines of dark branches devoid of leaves against the strangely blue sky and in spring the trees would suddenly burst into life again, sheltering a carpet of woodland flowers that had lain dormant in the icy weather. She was eager to begin exploring this new home she had come to.
‘Yes, let’s,’ Colin said. ‘Put a warm jacket on, Maggie. The wind can be colder than you think. I know I’m supposed to be the invalid here, but you were very ill and I don’t want to lose you.’
Maggie smiled and fetched a coat and scarf. She didn’t expect to be cold, but it was nice to have someone concerned for her. Ever since she’d told Colin she would marry him, he’d been considerate and thoughtful. He really was rather a pleasant person once he knew you and when he wasn’t angry. Maggie realised that his anger had gone, for the moment at least.
They went down in the lift his father had had installed for him. It was similar to the one at Harpers and Maggie found it easy to use. She took his chair out by a side door and wheeled him along the path. Outside, she turned to look back at the house. It had a Georgian façade with many long narrow windows, steps leading up to the front door and a terrace with roses growing up it. A thin wintry sun was shining on old grey stone walls, making them golden and mellow for a fleeting moment before disappearing into the grey clouds, as they crossed the lawn heading for the rose garden. Although only the odd hardy rose still bloomed in sheltered corners, Maggie could imagine what it would look like in summer and the scent of a white rose that still clung to life was gorgeous, wafting in the slight breeze. Amongst the shrubs was a wooden bench, hidden from the windows of the house. She thought she understood why Colin had spent so much time in the rose garden at the hospital. It had reminded him of this – his home.
‘This was my mother’s favourite place when I was young,’ Colin told her. ‘She was very beautiful but a cold woman. I dare say she loved me, but she was never able to show it. You know how to love, don’t you, Maggie? – I don’t mean just romantic love. I mean the kind of love that you give to all those you help or care for.’
‘I try to help where I can…’ Maggie began and then stopped, realising that what he’d just said was true. She had loved her work at the hospital and cared for her patients, her heart aching for those that died and rejoicing for those who recovered and tried to flirt with her. ‘Yes, I suppose I do. I like caring for others, helping people. I enjoy making people happy if I can.’
She’d always had an interest in people. It was why her father had thought she would be a good teacher. Maggie had loved her time at Harpers too, serving customers with pretty things, seeing them smile when they found just what they were looking for – and she thought she could be happy here too.
If there was a slight shadow, an ache in her heart, it was for Mick. Maggie knew that if things had been different, she could have loved him as he wanted – perhaps as she wanted too – but he hadn’t been there when she’d needed him and Colin had. Maggie was an honest girl and she knew that the young man whose pain and grief had spoken to her had given her back her reason to live. She’d been feeling drained, lost and unsure – but Colin’s desperation and his need had awoken a response in her. It wasn’t romantic love, but it was a kind of love and she reached down and kissed him softly on the cheek.
‘I’ll make you happy if I can,’ she promised. ‘This is a lovely home, Colin. I don’t see why we shouldn’t enjoy it.’
‘I’m hungry,’ he announced, turning his eyes so she was unable to see into them. ‘Let’s go in and ask Mrs Blake for tea and crumpets in the sitting room. She makes some wonderful blackberry jam this time of the year.’
‘Yes, why not?’ Maggie said and smiled.
She was about to push him out of the rose arbour when they saw someone approaching. It was a beautiful young woman and Colin stiffened, the colour leaving his face.
‘God no!’ he muttered and grabbed Maggie’s hand. ‘Don’t leave me whatever you do.’
Maggie held his hand. His was gripping hers so tightly it hurt her, but she didn’t try to extricate herself, because she had realised who it must be. This girl with the hair like pale sunlight and eyes as green as a cat’s must be the girl who had so nearly destroyed Colin.
‘Oh, hello,’ the girl said. ‘Blake told me you had come to the rose arbour, so I thought I would come and find you.’ Her green eyes flashed at Maggie. ‘You might introduce me, Colin. I understand this is your nurse?’
‘Maggie was a nurse,’ Colin said coldly. ‘But she also happens to be my fiancée. We shall be getting married as soon as the banns are read.’
‘Ah, Maggie, not a name I’ve often encountered, except in servants, though I have a friend called Margaret.’ Her tone seemed to imply that Maggie was a name given to those of the lower classes. ‘I am Charlotte,’ her tone was unaltered, though her eyes narrowed as she studied Maggie. ‘Colin always called me Charlie. We grew up together – best friends. My father is the family lawyer and we have a house near the village. So, I know everything about him…’ Was she implying Maggie didn’t?
She offered her hand but not her congratulations. Maggie might have taken it, but Colin stubbornly refused to let go of her hand. She smiled politely but offered no comment, since there did not seem much she could say. Colin answered for them both.
‘Maggie knows all about you, Charlotte. I told her everything…’ His tone was so malicious that for a second she faltered but then made a quick recovery.
‘Of course, you did, Colin darling. I wouldn’t have expected anything else.’ She directed a false smile at Maggie. ‘It is a lovely house and garden. I’m sure you will enjoy living here – after what you’ve been used to, it must seem like Paradise.’
Maggie felt the barb beneath the words and was puzzled. She was being rude and there was no call for it – unless she was jealous? But why was the woman who had jilted Colin jealous of her?
‘Maggie has a medal for her war work,’ Colin said before she could think of an answer. His eyes glitter
ed with anger. Was it for her sake? Maggie wasn’t sure, though she sensed the tension between them. ‘All the chaps over there were nuts about her – but I asked her to marry me and she said yes.’
‘Indeed?’ Charlotte’s eyes flashed with anger now. ‘Can she speak for herself?’
‘Yes, I can,’ Maggie said quickly. ‘Colin is exaggerating – it is natural for men recovering from terrible wounds to fall for their nurse. Most of the nurses out there had the same – but I didn’t nurse Colin. I was sent back to hospital because I was ill and we became friends there – and I realised how much he meant to me, so when he asked me to be his wife, I was happy to say yes.’ She lifted Colin’s hand and kissed it. ‘I think we shall both be happy now Colin is where he belongs – don’t you, my love?’
Seeing the wicked smile in his eyes, Maggie knew she’d done the right thing. He gripped her hand even tighter. ‘I was happy the minute I saw you,’ he told her. ‘I thought I’d died and gone to Heaven, my angel.’
Maggie lifted her head and looked into the other woman’s eyes. ‘We’re just about to have tea, crumpets and honey, I’m informed – would you care to join us?’
‘No thank you. I don’t have time. I’m going out this evening. I just brought a message from my father, that’s all.’ She bent over Colin and attempted to kiss him, but he set his mouth and turned his head to one side so that her lips slid away from his cheek. ‘I’m truly glad to see you looking so much better and happy. Good afternoon, Miss Gibbs.’ She turned and walked briskly away.
Maggie stood still for a moment and then started to push Colin’s chair back the way they’d come earlier. He was silent as they entered the house, and when they reached the lift, she saw his face was grim and pale. He was clearly affected by the meeting.
‘Don’t let her hurt you,’ Maggie said. ‘She isn’t worth it.’