“We don’t have to keep going,” he said.
“Yes, we do.”
“We can get whatever you need another way.”
“I can’t stay away from this forever. My hoard is there, my collection. I guess I should have moved it elsewhere… but I think a part of me knew I’d come back. It’s all I have left of them. I wouldn’t get rid of it. I think I just thought it would get easier over time.”
“Not a lot of time has passed. You can come back later. I’ll take you back to Dire Estate. You can stay there as long as you want until you’re ready for this.”
“No, that would be equal to being under house arrest for me. I couldn’t use magic, I couldn’t travel where I wanted. I can’t do that. I have to face this.”
“Okay.”
They continued on, into the woods, and onto a dirt road. Slade parked by a little beat-up cabin, a horrid little place that hardly looked like it should be standing. “This is where you lived?” He suddenly felt awful about parading her around Dire Estate and the Sommerville House. If this was where she came from, he was basically flaunting riches in front of her.
She made a little laugh. “It’s not like that, but I do have to use a little magic. I don’t think it’s going to hurt like yesterday, but just in case…” She reached her hand out to him.
“I got you.” He took her hand, sending her strength through his touch.
“It’s an illusion spell,” she told him, and she waved her hand, and then Slade could see her home for what it really was.
A beautiful log cabin, with an impressive display of floor-to-ceiling windows going up to the top of the gabled roof on the main section of the house with a stone fireplace beside it. From that, two wings extended, also with large windows, but not as tall. The wood shake shingles had a green tint to them, making the whole structure look perfectly at home in the middle of the trees.
Dixie sat there, unmoving. “You okay?” he asked, not sure how much removing the illusion spell had done to her.
“I feel okay, actually. I think this helped.” She squeezed his hand again. “Plus, it wasn’t a lot of magic.”
Which meant she wasn’t moving yet because she wasn’t ready. “Take as long as you need,” he told her.
She took a deep breath. “I can do this.” She let go of his hand and left the car.
He gave her a moment to herself while he gathered their suitcases and the groceries they’d picked up from the trunk. She took one of the bags of groceries and led the way to the front door.
She entered and then stepped to the side for Slade to go in. He took a moment to look around, to take in the space that Dixie had spent her whole life in. It was an open-concept floor plan with a large kitchen, dining area, and living space with the fireplace.
It looked homey, cozy. Likely everything had some sort of memory of the people she’d loved and lost. From the crocheted blanket on the back of the couch to the little knickknacks on top of the fireplace mantel. There were also what he’d consider witchy elements, like the sage sticks and bottles of who-knows-what on the dining room table.
But all throughout it were photos, vintage-looking ones all the way to ones that looked not too old, perhaps ten years or so old.
He busied himself, putting the groceries away, though he noticed the tears escaping her eyes. He wanted to give her space and time to process her emotions how she needed to.
There wasn’t a time limit for grief. There wasn’t a standard way of processing it. He wasn’t a psychologist, but he’d seen his share of it.
“I lost my grandmother almost forty years ago,” she finally said, and Slade saw that she’d found a box of facial tissues and a photo next to it. “And then it was like, we got ten more years from each of them. Ten years, then my aunt was gone. Another ten, my mother, another ten, my sister.”
She took a seat at the kitchen table, placing a framed photo on the table and turning it toward him. It was slightly discolored, and the five women had large hairstyles and bright clothing that suggested it was taken in the 1980s. Slade sat across from her, again taking her hands and hoping some healing and strength that helped against the magic feedback curse could help with her pain now. He hated seeing her like this, but he had to let her do what she needed to do.
“I thought I’d die too, like they did.” She whispered the admission. “I kept going because it was all I knew.”
“But you didn’t make plans for this life because you thought you’d follow them to the afterlife.”
She nodded.
And then she seemed to turn off the vulnerability, pulling her hands from his and shaking her shoulders.
“Well, here we are. I did it. Wasn’t so bad.”
Slade nodded. Was she going to grab whatever she needed and leave now? Had she really done enough to process this wound?
He didn’t think so, but he wasn’t going to push her.
“Come on, I’ll show you the treasure cave.”
12
“The what?” Slade had heard her mention her hoard enough times, but he didn’t know what to expect.
She didn’t answer but led him to a door, which was also spelled. She spoke some words under her breath and gestured at the door, making it shimmer before it cracked opened. Slade watched her catch her breath, as though that one had come back to hit her a bit, but she sidestepped his attempt to touch her and offer healing. “This way,” she said, appearing all right, though he worried her strength was waning, observing the way she leaned heavily on the railing going down the stairs.
They descended the dimly lit stairs and turned a corner to enter a gigantic basement—more like a warehouse—full of shelving units and boxes. Rows and rows of them, as far as he could see in any direction.
“Holy cow.”
“Yep.”
The writing on the boxes was unreadable to Slade. “What language is this in?”
“It’s coded,” she responded, making her way down an aisle. “Careful what you touch,” she added when he peeked in a box. “And try not to break anything. You never know what kind of evil spirit you might set free.”
She smiled after she said it, so he thought she must be joking… but also knowing the reputation of witches, and seeing the immense collection she had, he figured she might not be completely kidding.
He decided to play it safe and just follow her.
“How do you not have everyone coming after you for this stuff?”
“This place is a better kept secret and better secured than, I don’t know, whatever is really really safe.”
Right, but he still didn’t like it. Now that she was getting out and getting to know more people in the world, he felt she might want to look into other safety precautions.
But like where?
Dire Estate was the only thing he could think of. But was it really because it was more secretive and secure or because he wanted to keep her and all her things near him?
Slade followed her down the row and watched her reading the boxes until she stopped in front of one. “We’ll see if I have what Adelle wants.”
Slade helped her pull a box down, and she eagerly tore the lid off. As soon as she did, a low glow came out. Peering in, he saw items wrapped in bubble wrap and brown paper, each one slightly glowing a different color.
She shifted them around, muttering, “Purple… I need purple,” until finally making a determined grab and coming up with one. “Got it!”
As she unwrapped the item, Slade closed the box and carefully put it back on the shelf. When he turned back to her, she was holding a black stone in her hand, and it was weirdly emitting a purple glow.
“What is that?” Slade asked.
“It’s what I need for Adelle.”
“She asked you for something, and you just happened to have it lying around?”
“Happened to?” She gestured around the giant room. “This is generations of hoarding. I doubt you could think of anything I don’t have in here. And if you did think of somet
hing, I have enough to work with to trade for the item of your desire.”
“So really, she needed this crystal, and your arrival was like a gift she’d been waiting for.”
“Seems like it, and works for me.” She gestured to the door. “We can go.”
“What are you planning to do with all this?” Slade asked before they left.
She shrugged. “No idea, but hopefully I get to live long enough to figure it all out.” It was a grim reminder of the threat the council made, one Slade didn’t like thinking about.
They went back to the main level, and she spelled the door behind them. This time, he caught her when the feedback hit her. “That’s three times now. You’re kind of pushing it.”
“I’m fine,” she said, but he could feel how weak she was.
He picked her up and took her over to the couch. “Sit. Rest. I’ll cook dinner.”
“No, we should go…” She looked outside. It had become dark and was sprinkling rain.
“No, we should stay. The dirt road won’t be easy to go down, and we don’t want to get stuck. Besides, we have groceries. We have a place to stay and no reason to get on the road.”
As he said “no reason,” Dixie’s eyes darted around. She had all the reasons to want to leave. She didn’t want to be surrounded by all her memories. She wanted to flee.
“Dixie,” Slade said in a warning tone. “I know it doesn’t feel great to be here, but you can get through one night. I’m here with you.”
She pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and pulled it around her, not saying anything. As she curled up in it, he made his way to the kitchen and started to pull out food. Now that he saw how far away from everything her place was, he was glad she’d suggested swinging by the store. He figured she must have had a garden when she lived here, chickens even, a cow for milk… because she was certainly too far away to make regular trips to the store.
He cooked in silence, trying to bury the feeling of dread that was creeping up. Now that she had the crystal that Adelle wanted, she’d be able to bind herself to the coven, and that would permanently take her away from him. It was what was best.
But it wasn’t what he wanted.
What he wanted was to sit down on the couch with her, pull her into his arms, and let her cry, let her feel all of the emotions washing over her, and promise her that he would be with her forever.
But he couldn’t do that. He had to remember that the devil’s curse would do to him and Dixie what it had to Tad and… he couldn’t remember his mate’s name. Or anything about her. It had been so long ago…
It didn’t matter. He’d never forget Dixie. Because of his mate sense, he was at a disadvantage in this situation. He was more in thrall with her than she was with him. She’d join the coven and leave him, probably barely thinking about him again.
But he’d be haunted by her for the rest of his days.
“Do you know what you’re doing in here?” She appeared next to him, looking a little stronger. He’d stopped, holding the noodles for pasta in his hands.
He offered her a smile, refusing to let what might be their last night together be anything less than cheerful. “I just don’t know where you keep the pots and pans.”
She opened a cupboard and handed him a pot. “I just wondered, someone with servants and a cook, do you know what you’re doing in here?”
Slade smiled. “We have a part-time cook. We cook for ourselves the rest of the time.”
And so they prepared the meal and ate and didn’t talk about the decision Dixie was making or any of the thoughts going on inside of her head. He didn’t ask her about her life there or bring up anything that might upset her. He knew the wheels in her head were spinning, but it was up to her to share any of it she wanted to.
After they’d washed the dishes and put them all away, she went to a closet and pulled out a blanket and pillow, handing them to Slade. “Am I sleeping on the couch?”
“I would offer to take the couch, but I assumed you’d fight me on it anyway, and I’m much too tired to spar.”
Slade nodded. He didn’t ask about other rooms in the house. Maybe they were closed up, sealed for the memory of the person who once lived in them. Either way, the couch was big and would be fine for Slade to sleep on. “You were right.”
It was only then that she opened up again. “I was the last one, Slade. I didn’t know what else to do but work on the goal, and I was so focused on it that I didn’t stop to think if I actually wanted it, or if I did want it, why I wanted it, what I would do with it once I got it. The day after I became Immortal, I realized I probably would have been better off dead, because all that was left for me was grief.”
At that, Slade grabbed her by the shoulders. “Dixie, don’t say that. The grief you feel in this house for your family is a part of life, but it’s not all there is to life. You have so much ahead of you, and based on what you told me about your family going after this, they would be proud of you, happy for you. They would want you looking forward to all you have ahead of you.”
“No.” She shook her head, her face ashen. “When I woke, after my bargain with Death, I came out of my bedroom and looked around me. I can’t tell you why, but instead of feeling proud, happy at what I achieved, I felt crushed. I collapsed right here on the floor, sobbing because I had nothing anymore. I had no family, no friends, and no mission. I’ve been running, trying to find something, so I didn’t have to think about any of that.”
“I’m so sorry.” Slade tried to put his arms around her, but she pulled away.
“Please, Slade, I can’t do this. I can’t be near you. I can’t be in your arms. If I have to face this, then I have to deal with it alone.”
He wished he could tell her that she shouldn’t push him away. If she regretted losing the ones she loved before, then she shouldn’t push away her chance for love now.
But that wasn’t fair. He was going to dump her off at the coven because he knew there was a curse. He couldn’t promise her love and happiness and a forever with him.
So he nodded and let her go off to her bedroom, left alone with the pillow and blanket she’d thrown on the couch.
13
Dixie felt like she might forget to breathe. Like her heart was being constricted in her chest.
She wanted to leave, to give herself a break from being there, but Slade was right. The roads wouldn’t be great in the rain, and it was dark. They should sleep and head out in the morning.
At least being in her own bedroom was a little easier than being in the main part of the house. At least this was mostly her stuff. The photos and items that besieged her with memories of her family weren’t as dense in there.
The reminders of the people she desperately missed. Those she felt lost and completely incomplete without.
Was immortality really the best thing, when she had to live without the people who mattered?
She’d been so single-minded, so focused on the goal, it had gotten her through the hard times and made her have a drive and a focus and a reason for living that allowed her to live with the grief.
It had been a Band-Aid.
And now that it was achieved, she’d been out in the world, trying to find a new purpose.
Because she wasn’t admitting that what really mattered was the people. The family she’d loved and lost.
And being here with Slade, it was overwhelming and confusing.
She felt a great deal for him. A scary amount. But was it something she could trust? Or was the part of her that missed having a family just jumping on the chance to be with him?
Or was it something true? Something Gerri knew, something his mate sense knew?
She didn’t know.
And she fell into a fitful sleep.
“Dixie, wake up!” A banging on her bedroom door startled her. She was confused for a moment, unsettled. Where was she? She looked around… I’m... in my room? Then who was at her door?
It all came back, the awful night,
the way she left Slade on the couch, cold and alone after all he’d done to support her. That was selfish, self-absorbed. She made up her mind to apologize to him.
The banging continued. “I’m up,” she shouted, going to the door. “What’s wrong?”
“Did you put the spells back up around your house last night? I don’t know why I’m asking you that. You didn’t. And someone has found us.”
“What!” Dixie took a few strides through the hallway and made it to the living room, where she looked out the front to see a large truck was there, beside Slade’s Audi. Four people were piling out of it, carrying guns on their hips.
She recognized the man from the other day, the one who’d attacked them.
And then she recognized the woman, Maeve.
“They followed us here?” Her heart sank. She’d been too concerned with the feedback curse that she’d taken the risk of not reapplying the house’s illusion spell or the other little protections that went along with it. She hadn’t any idea that they would have been followed.
Her eyes darted to the basement door. At least she’d re-spelled that. Maeve and her gang could bomb the whole house, but they’d never get to her treasure hoard.
Slade growled. “Stay here, I’ll handle this.”
“Four on one isn’t good odds. I’m coming with you.”
He spun, his presence in front of her massive and overpowering. “I will not see you go down again. Stay here. Do not use magic. I have it handled.”
She didn’t think he did have it handled, but maybe there was a chance this faceoff could end without violence. He was right that she shouldn’t use magic. It was weakening her, despite his attempts at mate healing. If she got into spell-slinging now, she might not wake up from a collapse this time.
Slade opened the door.
“Hello, Slade, can we come in?” Maeve asked with a false sweetness to her voice.
The Dire Bear’s Witch Page 8