by K. L. Ramsey
“I get that,” Savage said. “I haven’t exactly been forthcoming about my sexuality with my friends or family either.” He had a few close buddies in his club that knew the truth and he trusted them not only with his secret but with his life.
“I’d like to blame my military background for all the secrecy, but that really isn’t an issue anymore,” Bowie said.
“Yeah, that wasn’t the case when I enlisted.” Savage had served under the, “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” era and he had to admit, it had its pros and cons. Not having people diving too deep into his personal life was always a plus. He valued his privacy over everything else.
“You originally from Huntsville?” Bowie asked.
“Yeah,” Savage said. “My family was from here, but they’re all gone now. Well, everyone except Chloe and me.” Savage mentally kicked himself for talking about his daughter. It wasn’t something he did with complete strangers and he was starting to worry that asking Bowie out might have been a bad choice. Sure, the guy was the sexiest man he had seen in a damn long time but he was completely blowing his rules out the fucking window with Bowie and that usually didn’t end well for him.
“Who’s Chloe?” Bowie asked as if he was able to read Savage’s mind.
“My kid,” Savage admitted.
“You have a daughter?” Bowie asked.
“She’s six and I adopted her when she was a baby. Chloe is my sister’s kid and when she and her husband died in a car accident, I took Chloe in.”
“Wow,” Bowie breathed. “I’m sorry about your sister and brother-in-law. But, Chloe is lucky to have you, man.”
Savage shrugged, “Thanks. And, I’m the lucky one. She came into my life when I was in a dark place and she gave me a purpose. She’s a great kid.”
“That makes sense,” Bowie said. “She seems to have a pretty awesome dad.”
BOWIE
Bowie wasn’t sure how the hell he had ended up in the sexy stranger’s pick-up agreeing to go for a few beers with him. He had been watching Savage for weeks now, not that he’d ever admit to it. Bowie had always been attracted to older men and Savage was his type, right down to his salt and pepper beard that made him want to give it a tug.
It had been a damn long time since he found anyone interesting enough to go out for a few beers with. When Savage first asked him out, he wasn’t sure he had heard him correctly. He usually had a pretty good idea when a guy or woman, for that matter, was interested in him. But, Savage didn’t give him anything to go by. It was hard to get a read on the guy and that made Bowie want him even more. He always did like a challenge.
Honestly, dating men was kind of new to him. He wasn’t lying when he told Savage that he hadn’t come out to his family yet. It was one of the reasons why he jumped at the chance to be transferred to Huntsville from Texas when the opportunity arose. He hated that he was taking the coward’s way out, but that was easier than admitting that he was bi. He was even beginning to avoid his weekly calls home to his parents because he got sick of dodging their questions about if he had someone special in his life. Even if he had, he wouldn’t be able to admit it because that would mean telling his parents who he was.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Savage said. “You having second thoughts?”
“About beer—never,” Bowie teased. Savage shot him a smirk that told him he wasn’t buying him using humor to hide from the question.
“You always a smart ass?” Savage asked.
“Most of the time,” Bowie admitted. “I use humor to mask what I’m really feeling. My therapist says it’s a way for me to hide my true self because I’m afraid that if people get to really know me, they won’t like who I am.” Bowie looked at Savage and almost made it through without busting up laughing. Savage looked about ready to pull to the side of the road and kick Bowie’s ass out of his pick-up.
“Really, man,” Savage grumbled. “I’m not sure if you’re kidding or not.” He shook his head at Bowie and smiled.
“Your face, man,” Bowie said between fits of laughter.
“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up,” Savage griped. “Was any of that true?” The sad fact was it was all true but Bowie wouldn’t admit that to Savage on what could potentially be their first date.
“Naw,” Bowie lied. “I just like yanking people’s chains.” Savage looked at him as if he was trying to decide if he wanted to believe him or not. He seemed like a smart guy and if he was telling the truth earlier, a literal rocket scientist. Bowie worried that Savage would be able to see right through his facade and that scared the hell out of him.
“I mean, I’ve been to a therapist, but that was to work a few things out after I got back from active duty,” Bowie admitted. Giving the guy some truth might throw him off the scent. It would be best to get through the night together without Savage finding out just how messed up he really was. That was another one of his secrets he didn’t share with anyone—well, besides his therapist.
“Yeah—happens to the best of us. The Air Force shoved my ass into therapy after I got shot down, not that it helped much.” Bowie knew just how a tragedy like that could affect a guy. He watched his best friend die after their Humvee was attacked. It should have been him who was lying on the side of the road, bleeding out but instead, it was his best friend, Drew.
They pulled into one of Huntsville’s dive bars famous for its customers being a little on the shady side. It was a perfect spot for two guys who didn’t want to be seen out together, to grab a few beers. No one got into anyone else’s business in places like the Voodoo Lounge and that was just the way they both seemed to want it. He knew that score—Savage didn’t look like the type of guy who did long- term relationships and that was fine with Bowie. He wasn’t sure where he’d be tomorrow and settling down with someone like Savage seemed like a pipe dream. He never let himself imagine his life with a man. Hell, he never imagined settling down with anyone, if he was being completely honest.
Savage parked his truck and cut the engine. “Listen, man,” he sighed, “if you changed your mind about all of this, I’d get it.”
Bowie smiled at Savage and reached across the center console to take his hand. “You keep saying that, Savage. But, I haven’t changed my mind—about the beer or you. I’d like to hang out with you tonight, no pressure and no strings. You up for that?” Savage nodded and if Bowie wasn’t mistaken, he could have sworn the big guy was blushing.
“I’d like that,” he said. Savage grabbed his baseball cap from the back seat and covered his bald head, running his hand down his beard and Bowie couldn’t seem to take his eyes off the guy. He was hot as fuck and Bowie was mesmerized by his every movement. He had been for weeks, following him around, watching him on base. Savage was big but carried himself with confidence and grace. He had a persona that screamed alpha and that alone turned Bowie completely the fuck on. He liked older men because the few he had been with usually insisted on being in charge in the bedroom. He wondered if Savage would be just as demanding and the thought sent a shiver down his body.
“You good?” Savage asked. Bowie shook his head and smiled.
“No, but it’s nothing a few beers won’t fix,” Bowie lied. He had a feeling it would take more than alcohol to right what had been bothering him. In fact, Bowie had a sneaky feeling it would take at least a night of taking orders from the sexy man sitting next to him to start feeling like himself again.
SAVAGE
Savage felt about ready to turn back around and leave just as soon as he saw his ex sitting at the bar with her girlfriends. Apparently, one of them was about to get hitched and Dallas was there to help her celebrate. At least, that was what he had gathered from the group of rowdy women.
“Shit,” he grumbled and sat down next to Bowie. He looked down at the end of the bar to where Dallas mean-mugged him and had the nerve to laugh.
“I’d say ‘shit’ doesn’t even begin to cover it judging from the way that blonde is scowling at you, man. What did you do?” Bowie asked. Tha
t really was a loaded question. It was more like what he didn’t do that was the problem. She was the only woman that Savage dated more than just a few times. Hell, she was the only person he had any kind of relationship within his entire adult life. And, he fucked it completely up with her. He ghosted Dallas when he realized he wasn’t going to be able to commit to her. She’d never be enough for him and how did he admit something like that to her? It was easier to just walk away from her and hope that Dallas would just forget about him. Her angry scowl told him that hadn’t happened yet.
“We dated,” Savage admitted. “About a year ago.”
“Wow,” Bowie whistled under his breath. “So, whatever you did to that woman must have been big, if she hasn’t forgiven you in a year.”
“I didn’t ask for forgiveness,” Savage growled. “And, I’m not looking for it now.”
“Well, I didn’t have you pegged as the dating type,” Bowie said. Savage held up two fingers to the bartender, signaling that he wanted a couple beers. The bar really didn’t offer much in the way of choices and he was one of the regulars, on nights after he had a rough day at work and didn’t want to deal with his MC brothers asking him a million questions. At the Voodoo Lounge, he could just be himself and no one really bothered him.
The bartender brought them their beers and a bowl of pretzels that looked like they had been set out for a few weeks. “Hey, Savage,” the bartender said.
“Mike.” Savage nodded. “Start me a tab,” he ordered.
“Sure thing,” Mike agreed and nodded to Bowie.
“You new here?” he asked.
“Yeah,” Bowie said. “New to the area, really. I’m at Redstone Arsenal.” Mike grunted and Bowie smiled.
“Well, women around these parts seem to burst into flames around guys in uniform. Just watch yourself with the piranhas at the end of the bar. One of the chicks is getting married but they seem to be out for a good time. Just fair warning; unless you’re looking for something like that.” Mike looked between Bowie and Savage as if trying to access what was going on between the two of them and Savage growled.
“Thanks, Mike,” he barked, all but dismissing the guy. Bowie laughed again and he wondered what was so funny but he had a feeling he wouldn’t like Bowie’s answer. So, he didn’t bother asking.
“Are you always so grumbly?” Bowie accused.
“No,” Savage quickly defended, shooting him a look that probably told him he was lying. Bowie held up his hands as if in defense.
“Okay, man,” he said. “No need to bite my head off. If you want to go someplace else, we can. Hell, we can go back to my apartment. I have beer there.” Bowie shot him a wolfish grin, making Savage smile.
“I’m good here,” Savage lied. He could feel Dallas’ eyes boring into the back of his head and he wasn’t sure what the hell to do about her.
“Liar,” Bowie challenged. “That sexy blonde has you squirming in your seat. It’s hot, really—the thought of you with her. I just don’t want to cause any trouble. Does she know?”
“Know what?” Savage asked, playing dumb.
Bowie sighed. “Does she know that you date guys?” he whispered.
“No,” Savage breathed. He sucked down half his beer and shot a look across the bar to where Dallas was still giving him the stink-eye.
“You ghost her or something?” Bowie teased and Savaged winced. “Fuck, man,” Bowie spat. “You didn’t fucking ghost that hot woman sitting at the end of the bar?”
“I did and can you keep it down, man?” Savage said.
“I’m pretty sure she can’t hear me over this God awful honky-tonk music and the ruckus her girlfriends are making. Why did you do it?” Bowie asked.
“Because she would never be enough for me,” Savage admitted. It was the truest thing he had said to Bowie and he worried that made him sound like an ass. “We had been on a few dates and I really liked her, but then I realized that if I dated her—you know, just her—I’d be denying half of myself. You know what I mean?”
Bowie nodded like he understood exactly what Savage was talking about and he realized that he had just assumed the guy was gay.
“You like women too?” Savage asked.
“Yep,” Bowie admitted.” In fact, I haven’t been with many men. It was easier to deny that part of who I was while I was living so close to home. I didn’t start exploring that side of my sexuality until I was stationed here. I had been on a few dates with men, but not a lot. So, I do get what you’re talking about, man.”
Savage sat back in his barstool and waved the bartender back over. “We’ll take two more and buy the ladies at the end of the bar another round on me,” he said. Mike nodded and walked back down to where the loud group of women sat and when he announced that Savage wanted to buy them a round of drinks, they all squealed and cheered. Well, everyone except Dallas. She shot him a look that could stop most men dead in their tracks, but he wasn’t most men.
Dallas stood from her stool and started toward them and Bowie cursed. “Um, I’m pretty sure the shit is about to hit the fucking fan now, Savage,” he said. Savage had a bad feeling that Bowie was right.
He held his breath, second-guessing every decision he had made that day, right down to asking Bowie out and buying Dallas’ friends a round of drinks. Yep, he was thoroughly fucked and all he wanted to do was get the hell out of there. Savage stood and threw down a hundred dollar bill, knowing that would cover his tab, and smiled at Bowie.
“That offer to get a beer at your place still stand?” Savage asked.
Bowie smiled and nodded. “Sure,” he said. “But, for the record, you’re being a chicken.” He looked across the bar to where Dallas was making her way across the crowded dance floor and sighed. Bowie was right but he didn’t give a fuck. Better to leave as a chicken then face his ex’s wrath.
“Yep,” he breathed. “Ready?” He held out his hand for Bowie, knowing he might be sending not only Dallas but everyone who was currently watching the exchange between them, a clear sign that the two of them were together.
Bowie took his hand and they made their way to the front of the bar. Just as Savage stepped out of the doorway and into the night, he looked back to find Dallas watching him; frozen to her spot with her mouth gaping wide open. Yeah, she had gotten the message, loud and clear—he was leaving the bar with Bowie and there would be no backtracking now. There would be nothing he could do to erase the hatred and pain that he saw in her beautiful eyes.
DALLAS
Dallas St. James just about fell off her damn barstool when Savage walked into The Voodoo Lounge with the handsome guy in fatigues. The two made quite a pair and she wasn’t the only female in the bar to notice them. Every woman in her group seemed to sit up and take notice of the new conquests as soon as they walked in, even the bride-to-be.
She thought she’d never see Savage again and that was just fine with her. They had dated for about a month and then nothing—he seemed to vanish off the face of the earth. It was her fault really. She never pushed to know more about him than his first name and the fact that he used to be in the Air Force. He had mentioned that he was a scientist, but Dallas worried that if she pushed for him to tell her more, he’d bolt. It was ironic, really. He ended up changing her life forever and then ghosting her, never to be heard from again—or so she thought.
Dallas was determined to steer clear of Savage and whoever the guy was that came into the bar with him, but then he went too far and bought the bridal party a round of drinks. Was he trying to get her attention? If he was, it worked. By the time she got her nerve up, Savage and the guy got up to leave but what she saw next—it couldn’t have been right. The bar was crowded and she had to have seen the whole thing wrong because if she wasn’t mistaken, they were holding hands when they left the bar.
She tried to rejoin her girlfriends, but she just wasn’t in the mood to party after seeing Savage. He dredged up everything she had worked so hard to suppress—her anger, her fears and damn it, eve
n her desires. How could she still want him like she did after the hell he’d put her through over the past year since he left her without a word? Sure, Savage didn’t make her any pretty promises. She thought she meant more to him than just a fuck, but she was wrong. She had not only misjudged him but so many other things too.
Dallas bowed out of the rest of the night, not really in the mood for the strip club the girls were heading to next. All she could think about was getting back to her little apartment and shutting the world out until she could think straight again. Savage always seemed to have that effect on her—made her thoughts a little cloudy. Seeing him tonight just reminded her of the crazy, lust- filled month that they spent together and she needed to put those thoughts and images out of her head. There would be no more remembering the man who controlled her body, mind, and soul. Savage threw her away and that was going to be the painful reminder she took home with her tonight. He didn’t want her and she’d do well to remember that.
Dallas climbed the two floors to her apartment and unlocked the door, letting herself in. “Hello,” she whispered.
“Hey—did you have fun?” Her friend Eden poked her head around the corner and smiled. “I’m assuming that since you are home so early that my answer is no, but I thought I’d be polite and ask.”
Dallas made a face and Eden softly cursed. “You saw him, didn’t you? She asked. Her friend always was able to pick up things.
“How the hell did you figure that out?” Dallas grumbled.
“You make a face anytime his name is brought up. Listen, I’ve never met the guy, but you’re going to have to get over this anger you’re harboring towards him. If not for yourself then for Greer,” Eden said.
Dallas sighed and nodded. Her friend was right—she owed it to both herself and her daughter to stop hating the man who had given her the greatest gift she ever had.