‘Great, see you soon.’
Jill bought two bottles, one non-alcoholic rosé that Rachel liked and a bottle of the Australian Shiraz that Gary enjoyed. A box of sweets for Alex and she was in her Audi, top down and cruising over to Rachel’s house.
Gary was standing at the door when she pulled up outside the house and he came to meet her. ‘No sign of Rachel yet, don’t know where she could have got to.’
‘Is Alex with her?’
‘No, he’s at a sleepover tonight. Let’s go and check the kitchen and see if there’s any sign of dinner. If not, I can go and get us a curry.’
The kitchen was devoid of any enticing cooking aromas and, on inspection, the fridge was quite bare. It was a beautiful, balmy June evening so Gary poured them both some of the wine Jill had brought and they took their glasses out to the garden to enjoy the last of the sunshine.
‘I think I’ll be going for a takeaway,’ Gary said, stretching out his legs. ‘Even if Rachel has gone to the supermarket it would take ages to cook something and I don’t think I can last that long.’
Jill thought about her cabbage-soup diet, about the Gordon account and about Vinny. ‘Me neither. Anyway, Rachel wasn’t expecting me. Did she know you were coming home early?’
Gary closed his eyes and held his face up to the sun. ‘I think I mentioned it.’
‘Her pregnancy seems to be going well this time – apart from the tiredness.’
He opened one eye. ‘You think?’
‘You don’t?’ Jill countered.
‘She seems so down, Jill. You must have noticed.’
‘It’s just the tiredness.’
‘I’m not so sure. She doesn’t seem very interested in the baby. I remember the last time, the house was full of pregnancy and baby magazines and she spent months planning the nursery.’
Jill smiled. ‘I remember. Still, it’s always different with a second child and she’s probably a bit scared of being a mother again.’
‘Scared?’ He looked bemused.
‘It’s a big responsibility, not to mention hard work.’
‘I suppose.’
‘Give her some time and space.’ Sounds familiar, she realized, having said the same words to Anna earlier about Liam.
Before Gary could reply, Rachel appeared in the doorway. ‘Jill! Hi, what are you doing here?’
‘Just called in for a chat.’
‘That’s nice.’
Gary stood up. ‘Will I bring in the shopping?’
‘What shopping?’ Rachel looked vague.
‘Weren’t you at the supermarket?’
She shook her head.
‘So where have you been?’
‘I went for a walk.’ She sat down on his vacated deckchair.
‘Oh, right. Looks like it’s takeaway, Jill.’ Gary shot Rachel a bemused look before going inside to find a menu.
‘Are you okay, Rachel?’
‘Yeah, fine.’
‘You look tired.’
‘Nothing new there then,’ Rachel said, with a wry smile.
Jill looked at her cousin, a worried frown knitting her brows. With the exception of her bump, Rachel was beginning to look quite gaunt. Ironic really, considering that one of the reasons she didn’t want to get pregnant again was because she didn’t want to put on even more weight. ‘You know, once you’ve had this baby you’re going to be really skinny.’
Rachel looked down at her body. ‘Do you think so?’
‘Definitely! We’ll have to go out and get you a whole new wardrobe.’
Rachel laughed but her eyes were sad. ‘I don’t think I’m going to have time for shopping when this little person comes along.’
‘Sure you will. Gary will babysit.’
‘What’s that?’ Gary said, as he returned with two menus.
‘I was just saying that Rachel would have to go on a few shopping trips for new clothes when the baby is born and she says that she won’t have time. But that’s what dads are for, isn’t it, Gary?’
He shrugged. ‘Yeah, sure.’
Rachel shot him a look of pure disbelief.’ So you’re going to miss out on your golf so that I can go shopping?’
‘No problem.’
‘That’s what he says now,’ Rachel told Jill, ‘but he’ll come up with some excuse when the time comes.’
Gary shook his head. ‘There’s no pleasing you, is there? Now, will we have Indian or Chinese?’
‘I’m not hungry,’ Rachel said, not looking at him.
Gary sighed and turned to Jill. ‘What about you, Jill, what would you like?’
Jill shook her head and stood up. ‘You know what? I don’t think I’ll stay for food, if you don’t mind, guys. Rachel could do with an early night and I have a healthy bowl of soup waiting in my fridge. I’ll hate myself in the morning if I have a three-thousand-calorie curry.’
Gary looked from his wife to her cousin and turned away, shaking his head. ‘Oh, please yourselves.’
Rachel walked her cousin to the door. ‘Sorry, Jill, I wish I was better company.’
‘Hey, it’s not your fault! You’ve got a hungry little munchkin in there, sapping all of your strength. You go to bed and rest.’
Rachel hugged her and smiled. ‘Thanks.’
Gary appeared and offered to walk Jill to the car. ‘Sorry about that,’ he said. ‘I thought Rachel would enjoy the company.’
She reached up to kiss his cheek. ‘Hey, there’s no need to apologise. The poor girl is obviously exhausted.’ She started the car and waved her hand as she pulled away. ‘Take care, and have a lovely weekend!’
As soon as she’d got around the corner; her smile disappeared. Poor Rachel. She was so miserable, and Gary didn’t seem to know what to do to help. What with Anna’s problems with Liam and her own break-up with Andy, they weren’t having a lot of luck with relationships at the moment. Mentally, Jill tipped her soup down the drain and stopped off on the way home for a pizza and another bottle of wine. Sod the diet.
Chapter 16
Rachel pounced on the postcard in the hall and carried it into the kitchen. It had been ages since she’d got one and the last phone call had been a disaster, with a horrible echo on the line. She hadn’t realized how much she looked forward to hearing from her mother. If it wasn’t for her and the girls on MumSpeak, Rachel thought she’d go crazy. The long summer days were dragging and Alex got bored very easily. He hated being holed up in the house and garden all of the time but Rachel was usually too tired to take him to the park or the beach.
Pouring herself a large glass of water, Rachel sat down to read her postcard.
Hello, my darling, how are you keeping? I would so love to see you – are you getting big now? I make it that you’re now about halfway through – is that right? Maybe you could come out to meet us now that Alex has finished school, although July can be very hot down here. It might be best to wait until the end of August and we could meet up in a nice beachside resort so that Alex could build sandcastles. Talk it over with Gary and let me know. As you can see, we are now in Milan. It’s big and noisy – aren’t all cities – and we’re only going to stay a couple of days before moving on into France. Your father is trying to get seats for a matinée in La Scala for some obscure opera we’ve never heard of. He says it would be sacrilege to visit Milan without going to the opera. I’m just praying the seats are comfortable and I can have a nice snooze! I’ll call you in a few days, darling. Give Alex the biggest kiss from his granny and grandad. Love, Mam
Rachel turned over the card and studied the photo of the Via Montenapoleone, the famous street where all the main fashion-design houses were located. Wouldn’t it be nice to be there right now? It was clear from her mother’s card that she had been talking to Anna, who had been talking to Jill. They were all dying to pack her off to the continent. And it wasn’t such a bad idea, she supposed, although the heat would be a problem. Her feet were starting to swell already and hot weather was bound to exacerbate the prob
lem.
After pinning up the postcard, Rachel went over to the computer and signed into MumSpeak. The thread that she’d started when she’d come out about her ambivalence towards the new baby had grown and grown, and she’d been touched at the warm replies she’d received. Her suggestion that Gary might be playing around had resulted in a flood of replies, most telling her that she was imagining things and her paranoia was a side-effect of pregnancy. Flojo said: I’m sure he loves you, honey, it’s just your hormones getting the better of you. And let’s face it, none of us are feeling very attractive right now! And Funnybun said: Maybe he really is working late, having a new baby is an expensive business after all. Though she wasn’t entirely convinced, the thoughtfulness and kindness of the comments made her feel better and she found, as she read, that her hand kept gravitating towards her bump.
She decided not to contribute to the board today but instead browsed through other threads and read about other mothers’ problems. One girl, RuthieB, was asking for prayers because her three-month-old was having surgery today for a heart defect. Tears filled Rachel’s eyes as she thought about what that poor mother was going through, and she thanked God that Alex had always been so fit and healthy.
God, Alex! She looked at her watch and saw it was nearly one o’clock and she was supposed to be picking him up from his arts and crafts class in fifteen minutes. She’d have to run all the way to the school if she was to make it on time. She hated the thought of Alex’s anxious face and his teacher’s disapproving one if she was late again. Being pregnant only won you so much sympathy. She arrived as the children were emerging and she leaned heavily against the gate to catch her breath.
‘Rachel? Are you okay?’ Gretta Mullins, pristine in a grey trouser suit and perfectly coiffed hair, was watching her, a frown wrinkling her perfectly made-up face.
Rachel, conscious of the perspiration on her brow, shook her head at the other mother. ‘I’m fine, just fine.’
‘Can I drop you and Alex home? I have to go into the village anyway. Marianna has a dance class.’
The thought of being cooped up in Gretta’s sporty little Mini, with Alex and Marianna tearing each other’s hair out in the back was enough to make Rachel straighten up and take a deep breath. ‘Oh no, it’s too nice a day. We’re going to go for a good long walk.’
Gretta shot a confused look at the darkening sky above. ‘Well, if you’re sure . . .’
Rachel smiled brightly. ‘Sure, thanks, Gretta. Alex? Come on, sweetheart, let’s go.’ Quickly propelling him back down the path, Rachel kept the pace up until she’d left the other mothers far behind.
‘Are we really going for a long walk?’ Alex asked, skipping ahead.
‘No.’
‘But you said—’
‘I’m tired now, Alex. I need to go home and have a rest.’
The little boy scowled. ‘You’re always resting.’
‘Don’t be so cheeky, young man!’
Alex looked mutinous but wisely said no more and the remainder of the walk home was in silence.
‘Would you like a snack?’ Rachel asked, kicking off her sandals when they got inside.
‘No.’
‘No, thank you,’ Rachel corrected him.
‘No, thank you,’ Alex muttered. ‘Can I watch television?’
‘No, go outside and play.’
‘But it’s starting to rain,’ Alex told her, pointing to the fat drops that were starting to fall on the patio outside.
Rachel sighed. ‘Then play inside with one of your toys – you have enough of them.’
With much moaning, Alex started to root through his toybox in the corner, finally pulling out a noisy remote-control car. After five minutes of him racing the screeching toy up and down her hall, Rachel gave in. ‘Okay, you can watch television for a little while,’ she told a triumphant Alex, and after settling him in front of Pokémon, went out to the kitchen to make some camomile tea. She was sitting at the kitchen table when the phone rang.
‘Hello, Rachel, love.’
‘Mum? Mum, is that you?’
‘And who else would it be? How are you?’
‘Fine – well, tired, but I’m okay. How’s Milan?’
‘Oh, that was last week! Now we’re in Nice. Oh Rache, it’s so lovely here. Really nice. Nice, get it? Ha-ha.’
Rachel smiled. ‘Very funny, Mam. So where are you heading next?’
‘Oh, we’re going to tour around here for a while and then we’ll head off to Barcelona.’
‘Oh, I didn’t know Barcelona was on your itinerary.’
‘It wasn’t, but Patricia and Matt are coming out to meet us in Benalmadena and you know how glam Patricia always is, so I thought I’d stop off and do a spot of shopping first.’
Patricia and Matt Quinlan were old friends of her parents and had already met up with them twice since they’d started their travels. ‘So you’re going to stay in Benalmadena for a while then?’
‘Yes, that’s the plan. We’re going to rent an apartment there.’
‘An apartment? But why?’
‘Oh, we just thought we’d push the boat out and treat ourselves. We need somewhere decent to entertain Patricia and Matt.’
‘Well, excuse me!’
‘Now, you don’t begrudge your old parents a bit of comfort in their dotage, do you?’ Bridie Gallagher retorted. ‘We went without for long enough to make sure that you pair had everything.’
‘Yes, Mam, you’ve told us often enough.’
‘Cheeky!’ Bridie said, laughing. ‘Anyway, tell me about you. How are you feeling, love?’
‘Grand,’ Rachel lied.
‘I hope you’re taking care of yourself and eating well. This is no time for diets, you know.’
‘I’m not dieting, Mam.’
‘Good, you need all your strength now.’
‘So, how’s Dad?’
‘Red and fat,’ her mother laughed. ‘He won’t wear suncream and he drinks far too much beer, but he’s having the time of his life.’
‘Good, I’m glad. Give him my love.’
‘I will. How’s my favourite grandson?’
‘He’s wonderful. Oh, that reminds me, Mam. You wouldn’t mind getting me some shoes for him, would you?’
‘Of course not. Just tell me what size and style.’
Rachel quickly gave her the details and her mother scribbled them down.
‘Right, darling, I’d better go. Your dad is going mad for a cup of tea. Now you take care of yourself.’
‘I will. Bye, Mam.’ Rachel replaced the receiver with a sigh.
Phone conversations like that were so frustrating. Nothing really said, just pleasantries, time-of-day stuff. Rachel needed more than that. Bridie mightn’t be the most conventional mother in the world but she usually had a commonsense solution for most problems. Rachel wondered what she’d have to say if she confided her fears about Gary or told her how ambivalent she felt about the new baby.
Alex stuck his head through the doorway. ‘I’m hungry, Mum.’
Rachel waved him in and gave him a hug. ‘I’ll make you a sandwich.’
‘And a bun?’ Alex’s eyes twinkled up at her.
Rachel smiled. ‘And a bun.’
Chapter 17
Liam heard the door bang and swore softly. Another day and yet another row. He didn’t mean to bite Anna’s head off but she just seemed to say all the wrong things. As soon as she got in the door in the evening she wanted to talk about jobs and what the latest news was, whereas all he wanted to do was forget about it. He spent all day thinking about his unemployed status and what he needed from Anna was diversion.
He realized, of course, that she was just worried about him but he was finding it hard to keep his patience with her. Didn’t she have any idea how terrified he was? Didn’t she know how much of a failure he felt? And every time she quizzed him about what steps he was taking or how he’d worded a particular letter of application, he felt more inadequate.
To avoid confrontation, Liam stayed out of her way as much as possible. Sometimes he went to his mother’s, sometimes he went to the cinema. Occasionally he went to the pub although he had never liked drinking alone. And sometimes, sometimes he dropped in to see Tara.
He never went upstairs to her apartment – the image of her bedroom was still fresh in his mind and made him uncomfortable – but he had a cup of coffee with her in the small kitchen at the back of her salon. Occasionally a client would be there having a body wrap or a facial and Tara would throw him out when her timer went off. ‘Sorry, my lady is cooked, time to get back to work!’
He enjoyed their time together. Tara was fun and clever and he was able to talk to her about subjects other than his unemployed status. That made a nice change. Though it was all completely innocent, he hadn’t mentioned his visits to Anna. He knew she’d get the wrong idea and he couldn’t deal with yet another argument. His mother didn’t know either.
Though she loved Tara, Josie wouldn’t approve of a married man, especially her son, spending time with another woman. So to avoid any nagging from that quarter, he timed his visits for when he knew she’d be out. If Tara was aware of this, she didn’t say anything but by unspoken agreement, she hadn’t mentioned his visits to Josie either.
He was also considering Tara’s suggestion of advertising himself as a handyman and enjoyed tossing this idea around with her. She had a lot of potential clients for him. It made more sense than what Anna wanted him to do. She seemed to spend all of her spare time finding him positions in large local companies doing work that required few, if any, of his skills.
‘You must be joking!’ he’d exploded last night when she’d shoved the Vacancies section of the newspaper under his nose and pointed to the ad that she’d ringed. ‘Customer Service Operator in Dixons? Have you completely lost your mind?’
‘Why? You’d be fixing stuff, using your knowledge, and it would be a step on the ladder of a very large and successful company,’ she’d protested. ‘And it’s better than doing nothing.’
‘No, Anna, trust me, it would not be better than doing nothing.’
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