Magnus held her tightly, breathing in the soft scent of apples. She had always been the only lass he knew who favored a fruit scent to floral. He wanted nothing more than to hold her for every moment until forever, but he knew that was not an option. At least not yet.
I amnae a lad anymore who will have his future dictated by a social climber. I amnae letting Deirdre go again. She was mine, is mine, and will always be mine.
Magnus did not realize how he tightened his grip until he felt a light tapping on his chest.
"Magnus, I canna breathe."
"Sorry, love," he kissed the crown of her head. "I dinna want to let you go either, but it still doesnae change that we canna stay here much longer. Why were ye fleeing in the first place? It was because of me." He finished with a statement.
He felt Deirdre shudder before he felt her nod.
"It was just too much seeing ye so suddenly, and ye seemed so angry and cold when ye did look at me. I felt like I was suffocating or drowning, mayhap both at once. I wanted to cry in private."
"Deirdre, I was angry. I didna expect to hear yer laugh. God how that hurt since I didna even ken ye were at court, then to see ye there laughing and merry. Ye seem to have made a happy life for yerself here. It made ma letters’ rejection hurt all over again. It's bad enough once a moon, but to see ye." He shook his head.
Tears slid down Deirdre's cheeks in a current too fast for her to wipe away. Magnus pulled the end of his plaid that lay over his shoulder to blot away the fat droplets.
"It's like losing ye all over again to hear ye've been trying for so long, and I had nay idea. I tried to write to ye, but ma father and mother kept telling me that ye didna want me. They forbid me and told me to stop embarrassing the family by mooning over a lad who was tupping another lass before we even left the gathering."
"And ye believed them." Magnus's voice had an edge to it that sliced through Deirdre like a hot knife through butter.
"Nae at first. It hurt me to hear ye had some wench on yer lap. Merciful heavens, how that nearly drove me mad. But then ma family kept insisting that ye had moved on. They shared stories of ye that infuriated me. I wanted to murder ye. Then it was just numbness. I couldnae resolve what I kenned of ye after so many years with what they told me. I may make merry here, but that's only because they expect it of me. My duties to the queen are much more tolerable when ma family thinks I am being biddable. It doesnae mean I feel any less hollow."
Once again, Deirdre looked up at Magnus. She noticed at some point, she grabbed handfuls of his leine now bunched into her closed fists. She held onto the only lifeline thrown to her in years.
"Please, Magnus, dinna make me go back. Dinna make me leave ye,” she caught her breath as she felt her heart race, this time out of fear rather than pleasure, “Dinna leave me. I canna survive that again. Aught but that."
"Just what are ye asking for, eun beag? A night? One more tryst before ye marry another mon?"
"Nay!" Her sobs became uncontrollable. They rattled through her whole body but were silent. Years of crying herself to sleep or escaping into secluded gardens taught her the value of keeping quiet.
Magnus was at a loss for what to do now. He comforted her as best he could, moving back to sit down and cradling her in his arms.
"Take me away. Find us a kirk, so we can be wed. Make me yer wife. Again. For this night and every one after. I canna go back. Magnus, I willna."
Magnus heard the determination he had admired in her from the moment he picked up her first perfectly scribed piece of vellum.
"Deirdre, there is naught more in this life or the next that I want more than to do just that. Every part of me screams to run with ye, but we arenae children anymore. I dinna need a king's bounty on ma head nor our marriage overturned. Besides, I came here to seek the king's support in the ongoing feuds that endanger ma clan and ma family. I canna desert them or ma duty. They dinna deserve that. Could ye respect me if I did? If I was that selfish and irresponsible? I wouldnae want ye to. We must at least try to gain the king's approval of our union. First, I must resolve ma family's disputes then I can petition for yer hand."
Once again, a bone-weary sigh seeped from her.
"And if ye dinna succeed? If ma father has too much sway with the king? He has already petitioned the king for permission to marry me to Lord Archibald."
Magnus's teeth ground together with such force that Deirdre thought they might crack. She ran her hand along his jaw, and he turned his cheek into her palm, relaxing immediately.
"I amnae above bride stealing."
With that, Magnus rose to his feet and once more set Deirdre on hers. Holding her hand, he peered out of the alcove, looking both ways. He stepped out but blocked Deirdre from following. He took his time counting to twenty before being convinced Deirdre was safe to reappear.
"Take me to yer chamber.”
They said nothing else once in the passageway, and they continued to her lady-in-waiting chamber.
Chapter Four
Deirdre slid a key from a secret pocket in her gown before unlocking the door. Magnus could see clearly over the top of her head. There was only one bed within the chamber. He looked down at her curiously and a little suspiciously.
"Ma mother has enough influence to arrange a private chamber, and in turn, ma father uses this common knowledge to prove his own significant influence. It's naught more than a power play. It has naught to do with me."
Magnus could not miss the bitterness in her voice and it did not match the affection she once held for her father.
"I think there’s a great deal we need to share between us aboot our time apart. I ken there is a chance ye willna like or love the mon I have become."
"Ye told me ye have been faithful for the past seven summers. Ye havenae given me an ultimatum aboot the future. Ye havenae tried to force me nor have ye even blamed me. Magnus, it's clear to anyone's eyes that ye are a warrior. I have heard of yer family's recent battles," her voice hiccupped as the image of him in danger crept into her mind, "I kenned ye must have fought in them. I ken ye've had to kill other men. I ken ye've had to do what ye must to survive. I dinna fault ye that at all. To me, ye have already proven ye are the same lad as ye once were. Just in a much bigger package."
She ran her eyes appreciatively over him, and Magnus knew she was not aware that she licked her lips. He pressed her inside the door and kicked it shut. Grabbing her waist, he spun her so her back was against it, and he turned the lock.
It’s like nay time has passed. I ken much has changed, yet it feels like naught has changed. How can it feel so right so soon? She is like the air ma lungs crave, and I can finally breathe again.
Deirdre had no time to catch her breath before his mouth was devouring hers once more. Her arms shot up to wrap around his neck. Magnus bunched her skirts within his hands lifting them to her waist before running his palms over the backs of her shapely thighs. They ventured up to capture her round bottom. He could not suppress the groan that came from deep within his chest. He let go long enough to push his sporran out of the way, and he was quick to refill his hands with her perfectly rounded backside. She had been lithe as a young woman and not much had changed. His hot hands kneaded the supple flesh.
I kenned I missed the feel of him, but dear God in heaven, this is better than any of ma dreams, any of ma memories. I dinna care that this is going too fast. Heaven kens we’re owed this.
He let out a fierce growl when he felt her hands slip below his plaid, and one hand gripped his cock as the other palmed his bullocks. Her hands explored him as she tried to wrap her petite hands around him and found her fingers barely met. She pulled back to free her mouth.
"Ye're bigger. Everywhere."
"And ye are just as perfect as I remembered."
"Lift me up just as ye used to. I want to feel ye. It's been so damn long. I thought I didna ever want a mon's touch again, and I ken I dinna if it's nae ye. But it is, and we can. I need ye, mo ghaol."
M
agnus rested his forehead against hers for a moment before looking into her eyes.
"Ye ken the moment I realized ye were here, I had every intention of leaving with ye. If we do this, I willna pull out like in the past. I will spill inside ye because ye are ma wife, and this time naught will keep me from ye. I amnae a lad of nine and ten anymore. I canna be intimidated or coerced. I warn ye now, that if we join, it's as good as marriage by consent. I will kill anyone who stands between us, Deirdre. I mean that. Anyone."
"Aye, I want to join with ye, and marry ye, and be yer wife. I never stopped wanting that."
Deirdre held his gaze without blinking once. Her pronouncement was the acknowledgment given three times to wed them by consent. She also knew he meant he would not let her father interfere again. Much had changed in her relationship with her father ever since he refused Magnus, and now she knew her family lied to her over and over. The rift was now irreparable, and her father’s increasingly manipulative decisions robbed her of her father’s love. In turn, she had little left to give him.
"Magnus, there hasnae been a day in over seven summers that ye havenae been ma husband. I've missed ye, and I thought at times that the loneliness would kill me. I ken ye have yer responsibilities here, but I would run away with ye right this minute if I could. But we canna, nae yet at least, so we can at least have this together. This is our new start nae our end.
Magnus thrust inside her without any further hesitation. Her back arched off the wall as her legs squeezed him. He instantly regretted his force. He had never taken her so quickly, not even when they first made love. He tried to pull back, but a sharp yank on his hair made him pause.
"Dinna even think aboot stopping. It wasna pain, nae like the first time. It's tight, and ye are most definitely bigger, but sweet Mother Mary, naught has ever felt better than when ye are inside me. Keep going." She clenched her inner muscles as tightly around him as she could. She could feel her body was on the precipice. "I'm almost there already."
"Ye and me both, mo chridhe." He thrust twice more, and they both shattered. His hips twitched forward as the hardest, most intense climax he ever experienced pulsed through him.
Deirdre felt lightheaded as her muscles continued to spasm and tremble. She dropped her head to his shoulder as she tried to calm her breathing.
"Lass, I wish I had lasted longer. To make it better for ye."
She raised her head and gave him a solemn look before bursting into laughter.
"I dinna. I wanted that, and I vera well may have expired if it took any longer. Next time." She stroked a lock of hair back from his forehead and rubbed noses with him. It was how they had finished the few times they had made love all those years ago.
Magnus stepped back, prepared to carry her to the bed when a sharp knock came at the door. Deirdre’s eyes opened wide as she pointed to the ground and then placed her finger over her lips. When she was once more on her own feet, she turned to the door.
“Who is it?”
“Una, my lady.”
Deirdre looked over her shoulder and pointed to the wall beside the door hinges and once again placed her finger to her lips. She ran her hands over her hair to smoothen it to a point where it would not be too questionable. Taking a deep breath, she turned the lock and opened the door wide enough for only part of her to show.
“Una, I am not in need of you tonight.” Listening to her maid, Deirdre realized how quickly she reverted to her burr. She made an effort to once again use her court diction. “I have a horrid headache which had me leaving the Great Hall early. I care to be on my own for the eve.”
“How will you manage your laces, my lady,” the skepticism on the older woman’s face was clear.
She tried to peer around Deirdre, but fortunately for them both, the bed was untouched. Deirdre showed Una her back and pointed to the end of her laces.
“Please just pull the knot loose. I will be fine with the rest.”
“My lady, I cannot be doing that out in the hall. That simply is not proper.”
“And I cannot tolerate the lights from the passageway much longer nor do I want any more lit in here. Just undo the knot, and that shall suffice for this eve.” Deirdre injected a haughtiness she seldom used, but Una was already her least favorite and least trustworthy maid.
“As you say, my lady.” Magnus did not miss the snideness and bristled from behind the door. Deirdre did not dare look in his direction. Once she felt her laces loosen even a breath, she stepped from Una and turned around.
“Thank you for your help. I shall see you in the morn. Please let it be known that I retired feeling unwell and expect to be asleep very soon.”
Deirdre knew Una would go immediately to tell her parents what happened. It was Una who told her mother all those years ago that Deirdre was writing missives to Magnus. Deirdre learned from another maid that Una took her private letters to her father when she found them while tidying. Deirdre had never forgiven that invasion of privacy, but now she saw it for even more. It dawned on Deirdre that her parents used Una to spy on her. She quickly closed the door before Una could say or do anything more. She turned the lock in the key and pulled it from the door. She took it and withdrew the key already in her pocket. With both in her hand, she looked at Magnus and tilted her head towards the interior of the chamber and went to the small table that held her combs and fragrances. She laid the keys on the table before reaching for the back of her gown.
Magnus appeared behind Deirdre in the looking glass the table and the wall supported. His hands slid from her shoulders down to her hands and entwined their fingers. He feathered kisses from her shoulder up to her neck to the sensitive skin behind her ears. He brushed his lips across the shell of her ear.
“I have loved ye since the vera first. I have continued to love only ye nay matter the time or the distance. There is nay body I will love but ye. It’s only ever been ye,” he whispered softly.
His hands pulled the laces loose, and he slid the gown off her arms. Once it reached her waist, Deirdre pushed it to the ground and let it well around her feet.
“So incredibly beautiful,” Magnus murmured, enraptured by the sight reflected in the mirror. He could make out the dusky nipples that sat high upon her chest and the thatch of honey curls that rested between her thighs. He longed to plunge into her as he had moments ago, but he determined to go slowly. This time was not about slaking a long-dormant lust or the need to bind their bodies. This time was about rebinding their souls and minds just as they had been so many years ago.
His hands slid up her ribs and around to cup her firm breasts. His hands as much as his mind remembered exactly how they fit into his palms. He liked that he could hold them perfectly within the center of his hands. It sparked a possessiveness he had not even felt when they first fell in love.
“Ye dinna think them too small?” she queried.
“Nae at all. They fit as though they were always made just for me, that they are mine,” Magnus wondered briefly if she would rebel against the very possessiveness that brought him calm.
When she melted into his chest, she reassured him she was where she wanted to be.
“They have always been yers. There has been nay one but ye. Nae a brush of the lips. Nae even a kiss on the cheek.”
Magnus shuddered in relief. A small part of him had wondered if she had maintained the same degree of fidelity as he had. No longer a maiden for so many years, he admitted he feared she sought pleasure elsewhere.
“Ye worried that I didna stay true to ye, just as I worried the same. I suppose it is only natural, but I want ye to ken that naught short of being forced would ever make me stray.”
The reference to Archibald Hay made Magnus wrap his arm around her middle and press her further into his chest.
“Mine,” he repeated.
Deirdre snaked her arms around his and pressed her hip back.
“Mine,” she answered.
Magnus could no longer wait to reveal what was stolen from him. D
eirdre pulled the ribbon loose at the neck of her chemise, and Magnus lifted it over her head. Magnus’s breath audibly caught in the back of his throat as his eyes gorged on the long lines of her slim figure. She had always been on the thin side when she was younger, but she had filled out to give her more womanly curves. However, there was no escaping the drastic size difference between the two of them. Magnus towered over and around her. When he embraced her, she felt like he cocooned her. Now, his hands rested over her belly as though he was protecting a new life that might grow inside her. She noticed that his thumb and fingers formed a heart, and she traced her forefinger over them.
“I think ye are a wee overdressed for the occasion,” she did not realize how seductive her smile appeared, but it was enough to have Magnus reaching for the brooch that pinned the extra length of his breacan feile, or great plaid, to his shoulder. She pulled at the belt prongs that held his plaid and sporran in place. He caught up the material as it fell and laid it on the chair in front of her. She tugged impatiently on his leine, and he chuckled as he pulled it over his head.
“Patience, mo ghaol.”
“Ye ken I had none when it came to ye.”
Deirdre could not stop herself from running her hands over and around his smooth chest. She inhaled his scent, and as it filled her nose, she kissed his chest. Magnus skimmed his hands over her lower back, finding the two small bones that had fascinated him upon discovery so long ago. He grasped her bottom and enjoyed the same sensations as when he cupped her breasts. He leaned forward to press his lips against hers. She skated the tip of her tongue sideways, and Magnus encouraged her by opening his mouth. She did not hesitate to sweep her tongue into his mouth where they dueled. Unable to reach his neck, Deirdre grasped the grooves on the sides of his hips, where she always marveled they were an exact fit for her hands. The need built, and they both pressed their mouth more firmly against the other. When they could wait no longer to take a breath, Magnus tenderly guided her to face the mirror again.
His Highland Pledge (The Clan Sinclair Book 4) Page 4