The arousal had faded some while they talked, and Drew moved away from her, running his hands through his hair. “We should go into a sitting room instead of having this talk in the hallway,” he suggested before walking down the hall without waiting for her reply.
Once in the room, Drew settled onto a sofa, draping his arm across the back while Talia remained standing.
“This is going to sound really bad,” he began. “When I first met Shayla, the day she bashed me over the head for helping her, I believed she needed me to save her. There was part of me that thought we might end up together because she needed me. I never envisioned us having a normal relationship where we dated and fell in love. Kids are definitely not in my future, and I know from experience what a mistake it is to let a crazy woman raise a child. My fantasies didn’t involve anything that could get her pregnant.”
“You weren’t planning to have sex with her?” Talia asked.
“Not in the traditional sense,” he replied. “I figured we might work something out, but it wasn’t at the forefront of my mind. I just wanted to take care of her—make things better for her. Shayla was more like a pet I wanted to adopt. It didn’t take me long to realize how messed up that was. I wanted to put her in the position she’s trying to avoid, and I was using the same logic to justify doing it.”
“You were still obsessed with finding her,” Talia reminded him. “You still had expectations on how your meeting would go, and I’m sure this didn’t match up.”
“I certainly didn’t expect her to be so bitchy and ungrateful about the whole thing,” he admitted.
“If you do things in the hopes people will appreciate them, you’ll usually end up disappointed,” she told him.
“It’s also a selfish reason to do them,” he added. “I was looking for gratitude.”
“It’s probably a good thing you didn’t get to keep her as a pet,” she teased.
“Why’s that?” he asked.
“I’m pretty sure she bites,” Talia replied, startling a bark of laughter out of Drew.
“You’d better not say that around Phoenix,” Drew warned. “She loves her crackpot cousin.”
“Shayla tried to save Phoenix’s life,” Talia reminded him.
“I guess I should call things even between us for that reason,” Drew mused. “I don’t have many friends, so I can’t have one of you getting killed.”
Talia sat at the other end of the sofa and looked across at Drew. “You are lucky to have us.”
“You might be joking, but I really am lucky to have you,” he told her in a serious tone before looking away from her to stare out the window. “Shayla was never my type, anyway. She’s got a nice ass, but she’s too skinny.”
“I’m not sure I want to hear this,” Talia muttered. “We may be friends, but this is the type of thing you talk to your guy friends about.”
“I don’t have guy friends,” he stated. “I’m just saying I like women with a lot of curves, all soft and round.”
“You should tell Mason that so he can stop worrying about you hitting on me,” she suggested. “I’ll never be described as curvy, and I’m definitely not soft.”
Drew’s eyes locked with hers, and the icy blue depths swirled with a sea of longing. His voice was rough with need when he spoke. “You want me to lie to Mason?”
Talia’s heartbeat quickened, and her breath hitched in her throat. Responding to Drew’s question was a challenge. “Why would you need to lie to Mason?” she asked, trying to sound unaffected.
“Your curves are definitely temptation enough,” he admitted before flashing a sheepish grin. “That sounded terrible.”
“It did, and we really shouldn’t be talking like this,” she reminded him, or she might have been reminding herself. They both seemed to need the reminder.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Drew’s eyes locked with Talia’s. He wanted to kiss her—not to get close enough to her to feed on her energy, but because he wanted to know what she tasted like. There was a desperate need in him to discover what she sounded like when she let go of her restraint. When he’d first met her, he’d pegged her as the type who’d always be controlled in the bedroom, never giving free rein to her passion. Now, he imagined her being wild and willing to try anything his perverted mind could come up with. She’d claw at his back, scream, and make him come harder than he had in his entire life.
A groan slipped past his lips, and Talia sucked in a sharp breath before looking away.
“Drew,” she began, but he cut her off.
“You don’t need to say it,” he assured her. “I get that we can’t do this, and I’m not going to let it ruin our friendship.”
Talia looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile. “I’m overreacting. It’s just that I’m not used to this sort of thing.”
“Are you a virgin?” he blurted out.
She laughed at his question. “No, but I don’t usually date.”
“Does that mean you usually just have hookups?” he asked before cursing himself for asking such an intrusive question. “Don’t answer. That is none of my business.”
Drew stood to put some distance between them. He needed to get away from her before he did something really stupid, like give in to the temptation to kiss her. That wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t know she’d let him. She would definitely let him, but she’d regret it. If he let things go further, he’d lose her, and he wasn’t ready to do that. He couldn’t stop thinking about waking up with her in his arms. In his entire life, he’d never felt that peaceful. If they hadn’t needed to leave, he’d have stayed in bed with her, just talking and cuddling, for hours. If anyone else had confessed to these thoughts, he’d probably laugh at them.
“Do you want to talk more about what happened with Shayla today?” Talia asked.
He was seriously tempted to refuse to allow her to shift their conversation to safer ground, but decided it was the smart thing to do. “I’m not sure there’s much to talk about. She’s irritating. I didn’t expect her to act so childish.”
“Her upbringing probably has a lot to do with her childish behavior,” she explained. “Breeders are treated like children in many hunter communities. Seattle is one of those areas where hunters have very little faith in breeders. Shayla grew up sheltered. She probably didn’t have to make any decisions about her life. She wasn’t allowed to make many decisions about her life. It was all planned out for her.”
“It sounds like hunters essentially treat breeders like possessions,” Drew accused. “They’re prisoners.”
“It’s not quite that bad,” Talia argued before letting out a sigh. “Maybe it’s worse. I don’t honestly know. Breeders don’t usually want more. They grow up being told they’ll always be taken care of, and it’s true. We make sure they live in nice homes with enough food and money. They never have to worry about their needs not being met.”
“Unless they need freedom from that lifestyle,” Drew added.
“Shayla is the first breeder looking for a different lifestyle, to the best of my knowledge,” Talia admitted. “No one seems to know how to deal with her.”
“Hunters are afraid she can’t live on her own, but they’re to blame for that,” Drew added.
“Exactly,” she agreed. “We’ve been living in the past too long, but it’s not easy to change.”
Drew nodded his understanding. “Vampires get that way about their women. Many families still have really archaic rules. My own family has been stuck in the past. It’s only recently we’ve had some changes. There are times when Roman doesn’t know how to react to Lydia because she’s never fit into the mold of a docile wife.”
“He seems to like her that way,” Talia remarked with a smile.
“He definitely doesn’t want her to change,” Drew agreed.
Talia’s phone buzzed, and she looked disappointed when she checked her messages. “That’s Mason. I need to go meet him.”
Drew nodded but said nothing.
“Are you going to be okay?” she asked. “I could stall Mason a little longer if you need to talk.”
“I’m fine,” he assured her. “Mostly, I was pissed on Phoenix’s behalf. She’s been worried about Shayla, and it seems selfish that Shayla wouldn’t even give Phoenix a way to keep in touch with her when she was on the run. That didn’t bother me until I realized she doesn’t care if she hurts Phoenix.”
“She may believe Phoenix betrayed her by staying here with vampires,” Talia suggested as she got to her feet, preparing to leave.
He didn’t want her to leave. There was no reason for Talia to stay, but he wanted more time with her.
“Do you want to hang out in my room and watch a movie later?” he asked, nearly cursing at the vulnerability in his own voice.
“Sure,” she replied, with a smile he would almost describe as sweet. “I’m going to grab dinner with Mason. I’ll stop by when I get back.”
“Sounds good,” he said before stepping in front of Talia and hugging her. Her arms automatically slipped around his waist. He was certain he held on for longer than was appropriate, but he couldn’t stop himself. It felt good to hold her. Much like that morning when he’d woken up with her, he didn’t want to let her go.
When Talia’s hands fell away from his waist, he released her and hurried toward the door. “Have a good dinner,” he called out over his shoulder, trying to walk naturally despite his raging erection.
Holy blue balls!
Drew had never been this wound up over any woman, and it confused the hell out of him. He’d had brief obsessions with women. It had happened with his cousin Aiden’s wife and then Shayla. There’d been others over the years, but the obsessions all faded. He’d never considered trying to make something work with any of them. He went out of his way to pick women who were unavailable. Talia was different. He wanted more with her. Asking her to watch a movie with him had felt like asking her out on a first date.
Drew stopped in his tracks, unable to believe the path his thoughts were taking. Talia had already told him they couldn’t have more than friendship, so he needed to get those thoughts out of his mind or he’d risk losing her. There was a strange ache in his chest at the thought of losing Talia. That had never happened with any of his past obsessions. He’d known from the beginning he’d never have any of those women, and it hadn’t bothered him in the least.
Deciding he was in way over his head, he made a phone call—one he’d probably regret later. He needed advice from someone less involved in the actual situation—someone he trusted.
“Hello,” Trish’s high voice came over the line.
“It’s Drew,” he told her by way of greeting, and he could practically picture her rolling her eyes.
“I thought we’d worked on phone etiquette,” she stated. “You should always start with a pleasant greeting. Shall we try this again?”
He let out a long-suffering sigh. Honestly, he didn’t mind it when Trish put him in his place because she was one of the few people who genuinely gave a damn about him. “Hello, Trish. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing great!” she chirped. “How are you?”
“Horny,” he replied in a bland tone. “It’s like my balls are going to explode.” Trish was one of the few people he couldn’t piss off with his crude behavior, though he still tried on occasions like this.
“I’d be worried you’re calling me for phone sex if I had anything even closely resembling a sexy phone voice,” Trish told him.
Drew chuckled. Trish had a very high-pitched voice, and hearing her talk dirty would likely kill his erection. That is, if she actually talked dirty. From what he could tell, she couldn’t even say the word pussy, so he suspected any dirty talk in her relationship with Alek was one-sided.
“You could always send me a picture of your fabulous rack,” he suggested, only half-joking. Obsessed with Talia or not, he’d have to be dead to not appreciate Trish’s boobs. They were nothing like Talia’s—not that Talia’s were small. They were probably a little more than a handful. He’d love to find out what color her nipples were. He could easily imagine cupping one of Talia’s firm breasts before running his tongue along her nipple. In his mind, he imagined it being pink. It would peak as his tongue teased it before sucking it into his mouth.
Biting back a curse, Drew was annoyed at how thoughts of Trish’s boobs had quickly turned to Talia. Now, he was having trouble thinking about anything other than Talia—not just her boobs, but everything about her.
“Why are you really calling?” Trish asked.
“I really am horny,” he admitted. “This hunter chick is screwing with my head. Just now, when I should have been picturing your boobs, my mind immediately went to her boobs. I’m thinking about her way too much. If this was just about my dick, I could jack off to some porn and let it go. That would cure my blue balls. The thing is, I have fun around her—talking and stuff like that. It’s about more than just wanting to fuck her. In fact, I’m trying really hard to avoid coming on to her because I don’t want her to stop hanging out with me. I get the impression she’s attracted to me, and I think I could talk her out of her panties, but then I’d lose her. What is wrong with me?”
He might feel like an asshole for talking this way to Trish, but if he said anything that really offended her, she had no problem telling him off. It made it much easier to act like himself around her.
“You like Talia,” Trish stated, and he heard the smile in her voice. His discomfort clearly pleased her. “She somehow made it past your armor, like Phoenix did all those years ago, and you care about more than just the sex with her.”
“So, me wanting Talia might be the same as when I first met Phoenix. We’re friends, and it’s a natural progression.” It made sense, and he was willing to admit he might be reading too much into his reaction to Talia.
“Just because it was a natural progression with Phoenix when you were eighteen doesn’t mean it’s a natural progression now,” Trish argued. “I didn’t get the impression you were ever this wound up over Phoenix. You seemed mad that she left without a word, but I never got the impression you were heartbroken. This seems different from what you had with Phoenix.”
“It is,” Drew admitted with a sigh. Making it to his room, he slammed the door behind him and dropped down onto his bed. Lying on his back with one forearm shielding his eyes, he said, “Talia’s not my type.”
“Alek isn’t my normal type,” she pointed out. “I still fell in love with him.”
Drew knew where Trish was going with her argument, and it made sense, even if he didn’t like admitting it. “She already said we can’t be more than friends, and I agree with her. I’m too fucked up for more.”
“She may be afraid of what she’s feeling, like you are,” Trish suggested. “She may need more time to get used to her growing feelings for you.”
“It doesn’t change what I said about me being too fucked up for anything more than friendship,” he argued. “I’m not even sure I’m good friend material most days.”
“I’ve read your book,” she began. “Even though your sex scenes make me blush to the roots of my hair, you still told a beautiful story about a tortured soul finding the one woman who’ll love him. There’s a certain irony in the fact that your heroine was a hunter.”
“It’s just a story,” he told her.
“I think the story was about you,” she insisted. “It’s about what you want most in this world.”
Drew said nothing for a long time. Trish, proving she knew him well, waited while he processed what she’d said. She was right about that being something he secretly longed for. It was something he didn’t even admit to himself often.
“I hate it when you tell me shit about myself I don’t want to deal with,” he grumbled.
“You owe it to yourself to at least explore your feelings for Talia,” Trish added. “You are not a monster, Drew. I know you’ve tried to convince the world you are to avoid getting hu
rt, but I see the real you. Talia may see the real you, too.”
“Are you going to tell me I’m a nice guy?” he asked with a humorless bark of laughter.
Trish giggled. “Nice guy? No, there is a huge difference between me saying you aren’t a monster and saying you’re a nice guy. I don’t think Talia’s a nice girl most of the time, and that might be why she’s perfect for you.”
“Thanks, babe,” Drew told her, suddenly knowing exactly what he needed to do.
“I take it you’re going after Talia?” Trish asked, sounding amused. “Yes or no will suffice. I don’t want any details.”
“No,” he replied. “I’m not going to do anything to risk my friendship with Talia.”
Trish let out an exaggerated sigh.
“I promise to let things progress naturally between us,” he added. “I guess it would be better to say I promise I won’t intentionally try to sabotage things with Talia.”
“That’s a good start,” she agreed. “You’re smart for putting your friendship first. This makes me think you might be a nice guy.”
He snorted.
“I still think you’re pretty awesome,” she told him.
“You just like seeing the good in everyone,” he insisted. “Thanks for that, and thanks for answering the phone when I called.”
“Unless I’m too busy, I’ll always answer your call,” she assured him.
“I’ll call you later,” he told her uncomfortably. He still wasn’t used to people being there for him and expecting nothing in return.
“If not, I’ll call you to hear about how things are going with Talia. You have to keep me in the loop now that you shared your feelings with me.” She ended the call before he could. It had turned into a game between them since she’d complained he never said goodbye. Now, she tried to get in the last word and hang up first.
Trish had definitely given him a lot to consider. Keeping his relationship with Talia strictly as friendship was the smart thing to do. It was the best way to avoid losing her. Still, part of him wondered if Trish was right. Maybe it could become more. Maybe Talia could even love him.
Wicked Crazy Vampire Love (Psy-Vamp Book 7) Page 11