'Become your mistress! Is that what you mean?' She was angry now, the high colour rising in her cheeks as she turned to him again. 'What's the matter, Nicholas? Can't you bear the thought of letting a woman get away without sharing your bed?'
His lips compressed tightly and she could see that her blow had struck home. There was a white, angry look about him and his eyes were as icy cold as the grey Arctic Ocean. 'You don't know what you're turning down.'
'Your opinion of yourself really is boundless, isn't it?' she flashed at him, pushing him away from her with one quick movement and stepping back. The wind flicked her hair in her eyes and she tossed it impatiently aside. 'I'm not interested, can't you see that.'
'You prefer Jeremy Edwards, I suppose?'
'I didn't say that.'
'You didn't need to.' He sounded contemptuous. 'Oh, he's good-looking and rich, I'll grant you that. But I thought you were different in that respect. I thought you'd have wanted a bit more than that. Are you really happy to have a hole-and-corner affair with him?'
'It's none of your business,' she flared.
'He'll never marry you, you know. He may want you, but he'll never lose his head over you. He's got his eye on Markham's empire and he'll get it if he's still married to Felicity when Markham retires. The old man is a strong believer in family tradition. He's no son to leave in charge, so your Jeremy will get the lot. And if you think you mean more to him than the business, you've got a shock coming, my dear.'
The lash of his tongue sickened her. She could listen to no more of his accusations. She turned and ran blindly across the shore, aware of nothing but a desire to get away from the sound of that coldly condemning voice.
'Kate! Kate!' She heard him call her and then the sound of his footsteps in pursuit. She redoubled her efforts, but heard him gaining on her with every second. She did not dare to think what he would do to her when he caught up with her. Her breath coming in gasps, she staggered on. Then, suddenly clumsy in her desperation to get away, she slipped on a loose stone and fell heavily, hitting the ground with a bump that shook her.
'Are you all right?' The anger in his face was briefly replaced by concern for her. When she nodded and, wincing slightly, got to her feet, the anger returned. 'You little fool! You could have hurt yourself pounding across the shingle like that. What do you suppose I would have done if you'd sprained your ankle or worse?'
'I expect you'd have coped. You usually do,' she said flippantly, past caring what his reaction might be. She had taken all that his temper could throw at her, there was no more that she could suffer.
But there she was wrong. Before she could spring away from him his arms snaked out and pulled her roughly to him. 'Damn you, Kate,' he muttered as his mouth closed over hers in a punishing kiss.
He did not mean her to enjoy the experience, and she did not. There was no gentleness or kindness in the gesture, merely a desire to take his revenge on her for all the trouble she had caused him. The steel grip of his arms around her did not relax until finally he raised his lips from her bruised mouth and in a sudden movement of self-disgust, thrust her away from him.
'Don't act like that again or you've had a foretaste of what'll happen to you,' he told her roughly.
'Perhaps you'd like to leave me alone in future and remember that my private life is nothing to do with you!'
'I'll be glad to.'
There seemed no point in staying any longer. In silence they made their way back to the car and got in. As they headed back to London Kate sat gazing unseeingly out of the window, praying that she would not disgrace herself by bursting into tears. Nicholas concentrated on his driving, never sparing her a glance. As far as he was concerned she might never have existed.
He knew the way to her flat so there was no need to give him directions. She wondered if he would let her get out of the car, still without speaking a word. She was not sure if she was capable of answering him if he did say something. But, as he swung the car round into the tree-lined road where her flat was situated, he broke the silence.
'I suggest we draw a veil over this afternoon's proceedings and, in future, that we attempt to keep our relationship on a purely business level.'
It had not been her that had introduced the personal element, but she did not feel inclined to start another slanging match by telling him so. Instead all she could manage was a stifled, 'Yes,' and she fumbled for the catch that opened the door.
'Here, let me,' he said impatiently. He reached over and his hand brushed hers as he found the lever and pressed it down. She recoiled at his touch and from the sardonic smile he gave she knew that he had noticed it. How nice to be Nicholas Blake and to be invulnerable to hurt and upset. She got out of the car and walked to her door, managing a breathless 'Goodnight' that she was sure he had not heard. Strangely he seemed in no hurry to get away.
Then, as she put the key in the lock and turned it, she heard him call her again and retraced her steps to the car.
'Yes?'
He looked almost as if he regretted recalling her. 'Kate, about Edwards—'
'Well?' She made her tone as chilly as she could, but he was undeterred.
'He's no good for you.'
'That's my affair.'
'I could give him a hint to keep away. There'd be no unpleasantness.' He might have been discussing a business deal from the lack of emotion in his face. 'There are ways of doing these things.'
'I can imagine. You mean you'd tell him to keep away from your property.'
'Something like that.'
'No, thank you.' She wondered how she would have felt if she had been really involved with Jeremy, not just using him as a front to keep face with Nicholas. 'I can look after myself.'
'Can you?' he queried. 'You didn't seem to be managing too well the other night.'
'Goodnight, Nicholas.' She turned and went indoors. It was some time before, leaning against the front door, her legs too weak to carry her into the living room, she finally heard his car start up and drive away.
CHAPTER TEN
An uneasy peace existed in the office for the rest of the week. Nicholas was cool and detached with the air of polite reserve that had so irritated Kate when she first started working for him. Although she supposed that that was easier to deal with than the passionate lovemaking to which he had subjected her in the weeks since. She responded in kind, speaking to him with a bright politeness of which she was proud.
The sting of his words on that dreadful day by the sea was still with her. When she lay in bed at night she could recall every sentence he had spoken to her on that day and her cheeks flamed in the darkness as she went over them again, tossing sleeplessly as she relived it. If the dark shadows under her eyes betrayed her worried state to Nicholas he showed no awareness of it and continued to pile her with work and expect it completed in double quick time.
'It's a relief in a way,' Kate confessed to Jane. 'I don't have time to think or brood too much.'
'The man's a slave-driver,' her friend said furiously. 'He's exploiting you.'
'Rubbish.' She passed her hand wearily across her forehead. 'He pays me well enough for everything. And I'd rather work myself to a frazzle in his office than earn my keep in his bed.'
'I'm not too sure of that.' Jane had a keen eye and a way of filling in the gaps that Kate had left unfilled when she had repeated the story of her latest contretemps with Nicholas Blake. 'Come on, Kate, you can tell me. You love him, don't you? You must do, or you'd have left him a long time ago and found another job.'
'Jobs aren't that easy to find.'
'That's not true and you know it.'
Kate gave up trying to cover up the situation. 'Oh, what's the use? Yes, I love him, and a fat lot of good that'll do me sitting in his office tearing my heart out for him. But I can't leave him. It's impossible. I've got to see him. Even if he does treat me like an office machine these days, I still can't bear to go.'
'Does he have a clue how you feel about him?' Jane asked.
'No, and he never will. He—he asked me to become his mistress, but I turned him down. I let him think it was still Jeremy that I was interested in.'
'But why, Kate, if you love him?' Jane's attitude to love and marriage was considerably more practical than that of her friend. If marriage was an impossibility for some reason that was no excuse for letting the man in question fade from the picture.
Kate shrugged. 'I'm stupid, I know. I want the lot, don't I?' She smiled bitterly. 'I'm a fool, Jane, but even though I love him I'm not prepared to go to bed with him unless I know that he loves me too. I don't want to be the latest girl in his bed. I don't want to stand by smiling bravely while he marries someone else who can offer him more than I can. I want respect and—'
'In a word, you want him to forsake all others and marry you. It's a nice dream, love, but you're living in Cloud Cuckoo Land.'
'I know. You needn't tell me that. I'm eating my heart out for him, and he's still enjoying himself playing the field. Pathetic, isn't it?'
'He's taken up with Diana again?' Jane queried.
'No, she's away in the Bahamas with her parents. But she'll be back and restored to favour.'
'She must be fairly sure of herself to go off and leave him.'
'She is,' said Kate flatly.
Nicholas had already disappeared for an appointment in the City when she arrived at the office the next day, but he was due to return for a meeting with Sir Geoffrey Markham at eleven. As the hands of the clock approached that time Kate frowned. It was unlike him to be delayed, but if he did not arrive soon it looked as if she would have to placate Sir Geoffrey, notoriously punctual himself and intolerant of lateness in others. Still, it would be nice to see him again. Apart from the warm letter she had received from his wife thanking her for the evening they had spent with her she had not heard anything from them since the night she referred to mentally as the 'Disastrous Dinner Party'.
There was a knock at the door and she got hastily to her feet. That would be Sir Geoffrey now. He often dispensed with formalities and made his own way up to their floor, according to Nicholas. She gathered it had its inconvenient side sometimes. But her bright smile faded when, in response to her 'come in', Jeremy entered the room.
'What—what are you doing here?' she asked, startled. 'We were expecting Sir Geoffrey.'
'He's laid low with that flu bug that's going the rounds. He refused to give in to it, of course, so now he's twice as bad and confined to bed and not allowed up. I'm instructed to take over the meeting with Blake this morning. I suppose I should have rung you to check it would be all right, but knowing your dear boss's opinion of me I thought it was quite likely that if I did he'd decide not to see me. Now that I'm here he can hardly do that. It wouldn't have gone down at all well with father-in-law to go crawling back to him and admit that I hadn't been granted an audience.'
She was beginning to recover slightly from the shock of seeing him again and was able to ask quite calmly, 'Why doesn't Nicholas like you?'
He gave her a knowing look. 'I wouldn't have thought you'd have needed to ask that!'
'What do you mean?'
He laughed. 'No need to be unpleasant about it with me. I know.'
'What exactly do you know?'
He looked surprised. 'You hardly thought you'd keep it a secret, did you, with him acting the way he did? He warned me off you in no uncertain terms. He bumped into me a few days ago by design rather than accident, I fancy, and told me to keep away from you in future.'
'Oh, did he indeed!' Kate's eyes flashed with temper.
'And rather forceful he was about it,' said Jeremy, obviously recalling a moment that he had not particularly enjoyed by the look on his face. 'He said he'd see my name stank from one end of the City to the other if I as much as approached you again. And he wasn't joking, I can tell you.'
'So like a good little boy you promised to do as you were told?' she commented, irrationally annoyed by the thought even though she would not thank Jeremy to come anywhere near her.
He looked uncomfortable. 'Kate, you know how it is,' he began uneasily. 'I have to—'
'Only too well. Oh, it's all right, Jeremy, don't worry,' she said coolly. 'I wouldn't touch you with a bargepole. I just wondered if you were man enough to stand on your own feet to get something you wanted in spite of the opposition. I should have realised long ago that you weren't. It would have saved a lot of heartache, wouldn't it?'
'Kate—' he pleaded, and put his hand on her arm, 'I never meant to hurt you. It was just that—'
The door opened behind him and Nicholas walked in. At the sight of Jeremy who let go of Kate as if he had touched a hot brick, he gave a thunderous frown. Jeremy seemed disinclined to say anything in his own defence, so she was forced to explain his presence. 'Jeremy is here as a substitute for Sir Geoffrey,' she said hastily. 'He's down with flu and in bed—'
'I'm well aware of that,' Nicholas interrupted her. 'I've just been speaking with his secretary. I explained that in no circumstances will I deal with his son-in-law. I'll wait until Sir Geoffrey is better.' He strode towards his office. 'I'll give you three seconds to get out, Edwards. If you're still here by then it will give me the greatest pleasure in the world to throw you out of my offices.'
But there was no need. Jeremy went instantly, in such haste that he left his briefcase behind him. Kate picked it up and went to run after him, but Nicholas stopped her. 'Send someone round to his office with it later.' His gaze flickered over her with an expression she could not read and she wondered if she was to be the new subject of attack. In that case she had better get her own complaint in first.
'You told Jeremy to stay away from me,' she accused him.
He leaned casually against the door of his office, meeting her gaze levelly. 'Yes, I did,' he admitted.
'Might I ask why you chose to meddle in my affairs?' she demanded. 'I told you to leave it alone.'
He shrugged. 'You obviously weren't capable of coping with him yourself. He was wrong for you, Kate.'
'I'll decide that for myself, thank you!'
'I rather think the decision's been made for you. He knows if he gets across me no amount of pushing from Sir Geoffrey will help his future career.'
'You'd break him?'
'Just like that.' His voice was icily calm and she knew he meant what he said.
'How dare you!' she exclaimed and, hardly knowing what she was doing, her hand shot out and she slapped him hard across the face.
As soon as she had done it she knew that she had made a mistake. He straightened up and stood there, the red imprint of her hand clearly visible on his cheek. For a moment she wondered if he would retaliate, but stood her ground bravely. Then, without a word, he turned and went into his office, shutting the door behind him.
That was it; the final straw. Kate knew that something inside her had snapped at last. She could not take any more of this. She must get away from this office and from the cold, uncaring man who ran it. Almost automatically she crossed to her typewriter and sat down, inserting a sheet of paper in it. Determinedly she typed out a letter of resignation. When she had finished, she read it through and signed it. Then, with a defiant toss of her head, she knocked on his door and went in.
He was standing in his favourite place in front of the window, watching the traffic scuttle along the streets so many hundreds of feet below. Yet she had the curious impression that he was not seeing any of it.
'Last time I gave you this you tore it up,' she said, going up to him and thrusting the letter into his hand. 'This time I don't care what you do with it, but I'm going anyway, so you needn't try to stop me. I've had enough of working with you, Nicholas Blake, and the sooner I leave the better.'
He said nothing, merely opened the envelope and scanned the contents of the letter. His face revealed little beyond an irritation at being disturbed and did not change after he had read her politely worded request to leave his employment. She had given no reason for wanting to go
and hardly needed to. They both knew why it was impossible for her to remain.
'All right. You can go.' His voice was cool and indifferent. He might have been giving her the morning off to go to the dentist's.
She was stunned for a moment. She had half expected him to forbid her to leave, to argue with her, to do anything except take the news so calmly. 'I'll work out my week's notice, of course.'
'There's no need. You'd better go now, this morning.'
'But the work—'
'I'll find someone.' The grey eyes were cold as they rested briefly on her. 'I managed before you came and I'll manage again.'
As she left the room he had resumed his position in front of the window, his face expressionless. If she had expected anything else from him she was doomed to disappointment.
It did not take her long to empty the drawers of her desk of her personal possessions. After all, she had hardly been there long enough to accumulate a vast stock of treasures. With everything gathered together she got her coat and put it on. Then she glanced across at the door to Nicholas' room. Should she go and say goodbye? He would not care either way, she supposed, but it might look churlish if she omitted to do it. She crossed the room swiftly and knocked.
His 'Come in' sounded slightly irritable, but she entered nonetheless. He was sitting at his desk, apparently deep in some document, his head bent intently over it. 'Yes?' he said without looking up.
'I came to say goodbye,' she faltered.
At that he glanced up at her. 'Goodbye, Kate,' he said. 'It's certainly been an experience working with you.'
She did not miss the slight irony in his tone. 'I've enjoyed it,' she told him, not entirely truthfully.
'If you need a reference for your next job, I'll be happy to supply one.'
'Thank you.' Suddenly her eyes were swimming with tears. His figure blurred as she looked at him. She blinked quickly. She must get out of his room without making a fool of herself. 'Well, goodbye,' she said hastily, and backed to the door. She could not have borne to have shaken hands with him and was glad that it did not seem to have occurred to him. In the outer office she picked up her things and almost ran for the lift. Once outside the building she walked firmly away, refusing to look round for the last glimpse of his office window. Damn Nicholas Blake, she told herself angrily, knowing all the time that she did not mean it.
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