Of course, there was no fucking way Izzi could know about this. I had made it clear that there wasn’t going to be anything more between us, and I had to stick to that. I couldn’t help but fear that if she found out I was still thinking about her, she’d think that she had a chance with me and that would start this entire mess all over again.
Unfortunately, the easiest option of total avoidance wasn’t possible. The marketing team was still understaffed. Izzi and I were interviewing people as we could, since she needed more experience before she could conduct interviews on her own and I really didn’t trust Andrew with this, but so far, we still didn’t have enough people to create a full team the way both Izzi and I would’ve liked.
That meant that I was in the marketing department a lot helping her out. I dreaded being in close quarters with her, but there was nothing else for it.
I called Izzi into my office so that we could outline a work schedule for their launch. She was subdued when she came in, as she had been around me ever since I’d told her off. Perhaps, in retrospect, I could’ve been kinder about the whole thing. I hadn’t known she was a virgin—if I had I would’ve done things differently. Perhaps even refused to sleep with her at all. Or so I told myself.
But either way that was her first time with a man and I’d been rude to her about it the next day. I was right not to continue this and part of me was glad I’d been firm, but the other part of me still worried about her.
“I know that you’re still understaffed,” I told her as she sat down. “But we’ve got good people on your team now and they can take some of the burden off your shoulders. We need to figure out what you’re comfortable dictating to others to handle.”
“My instinct is to do it all myself,” Izzi admitted. “I’ve never been the leader of a department before.”
“I know. And if you want, we can look for a new head of marketing and bump you back down, say to assistant manager or deputy head or something, after this launch. Just hang in there. I know you can pull this off.”
Izzi gave me a small but subdued smile.
My phone speaker turned on. “It’s Angelica’s school.”
Ah, crap. My secretary knew to forward all such calls to me no matter what. I picked up the phone. “Hello?”
Angelica was in the nurse’s office? “Is she sick? Was she injured?”
I was assured that no, everything was fine she’d just had her first period. “I think it might be best if she goes home. Not just for a change of clothes, but this can be a significant time for a girl.”
“If you think that’s what’s best, ma’am, of course.” I sure as hell didn’t know what to do in this kind of situation. I was more than happy to follow a woman’s lead.
“I’m sorry, Izzi.” I hung up the phone. “But Angelica’s had a… womanly emergency and I need to go pick her up from school.”
“Oh, of course.” Izzi paused. “Is this her first one?”
“Yes. I’ve tried to talk to her about it before, and left some pamphlets out, but I don’t think she really wants to talk to me about it.”
“Then let me come.” Izzi stood up. “I know you’re doing your best to be there for her, but this isn’t something you understand, any more than I’d be able to understand some things about being a boy in puberty.” She smiled. “My mom and I spent time together discussing it and bonding. Let me help Angelica out. Right now, she needs to feel valued and mature, instead of weird and gross, which trust me, is the instinct.”
“You really don’t have to do this,” I replied. “It’s not necessary.”
“I know it’s not, not for me, but it is for Angelica. She should have a woman she can confide in about this. She’s probably upset, even if she’s going to pretend not to be.”
For Angelica’s sake, I decided it would be a good idea. I really didn’t think she’d want to talk to me about this and calling Penny was out of the question. Even if we hadn’t been in the middle of a tiff, Angelica hadn’t seemed inclined to confide anything in Penny and I had to respect that. But she seemed to get along with Izzi just fine.
“All right.” I stood up. “Let’s go.”
16
Izzi
Poor girl was terribly embarrassed.
We drove back to John’s house with Angelica in the back of the car, head bowed, cheeks bright red. I could remember how I felt the first time I got my period. Mom and I had talked about it plenty before it had happened and I’d known what was coming, but nothing could’ve quite prepared me for the painful cramps. And the embarrassment at staining my clothes, ugh. If only I’d been able to predict the exact day it would come, but when it was your first time, you never really knew for sure. There was no established pattern to compare against.
“C’mon,” I told Angelica as we got to the house. “I know exactly what we need. Ah-ah, not you.”
I put up a hand to stop John from getting out of the car. “I need you to run to the store and get some ice cream and chocolate. And get Midol, do you have any other painkillers in the meantime?”
“Advil and Tylenol are in the bathroom medicine cabinet.”
“Heating pads?”
“Yeah, Angelica can show you where those are.”
“Do you know what kind of ice cream she likes?”
John gave me a wry grin. “You know I’m not entirely helpless, right? Yeah, I know her favorite ice cream.”
“Great. I like mint chocolate chip. And get some pads, text me if you’re not sure what kind.”
“I did get a couple and put them in my bathroom in case of an emergency. They were the same kind that my wife used to have, though, so I’m not sure if they’d be appropriate for someone Angelica’s age.” John made a face. “The few times I’ve tried to talk to her about it she’s kind of shut me down and I didn’t want to put them in her bathroom without permission.”
“I’ll check on what you have and if we need something different, I’ll let you know. Now off you go!” I gave him a wave.
John rolled his eyes at me, but he was smiling.
I went into the house after Angelica. “First things first, let’s get you out of these clothes and into a nice, hot shower.” I smiled. “Trust me, warm water is one of the best things for cramps.”
Angelica nodded quietly. I nudged her. “Hey, I think this is the first time I’ve seen you be quiet since you were born. Even as a baby you were chatty.”
Angelica shrugged.
“Okay, hey, no pressure to talk. I know it’s a lot. But we’re going to have a nice relaxing girls’ afternoon, okay? Into the shower with you!”
Angelica did as I told her, while I got some Advil for her and warmed up the heating pad for her, then made a blanket nest out of the fuzzy blankets I was able to find around the house.
John got back while she was still in the shower and I got the supplies, then shoved him back out the door. “Go hang out with a friend or something, just for a couple of hours.”
“You realize you’re kicking me out of my own house,” John replied. He was smiling, though, and he sounded amused.
I grinned at him. “Yes. This is a hostile takeover.”
“First the company, now my house, what’s next?”
Your heart, I thought, but I didn’t say that out loud. John had been avoiding me for the last few weeks and I knew very well why. His words to me at the conference the morning after our lovemaking still stuck with me, and they still stung. I couldn’t handle rejection again and I needed to be aware of John’s own hang ups and need for time. I couldn’t push too far, too fast.
“Haven’t you noticed?” I teased him instead. “I’m stealing your identity. Soon your entire life will be mine.”
“A nefarious plot indeed,” John laughed. “Okay, I’ll call Garrett and see if I can kill some time with him.”
“I’ll text you when I think it’s a good time for you to head back. She’ll just be embarrassed, and I don’t think she’ll want to see you for a while. Or anyone really.�
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John nodded. “I want her to feel comfortable, more than anything.”
“She will be, she just needs some time and to feel like she’s got a handle on it. And when you come back, don’t ask her about it, just ask if she’s feeling better.”
“You got it. And thank you, Izzi. Seriously.”
“Of course. I’m happy to, really.”
John reached out, gently squeezing my elbow, and then was off with a smile. My heart flipped over. It was such a relief to have him teasing me and engaging with me again after weeks of him doing his damn best to avoid me. I loved the easy banter and how he trusted me with this, how he was humble enough to admit that he didn’t know everything and was willing to let me take the lead on something.
“Izzi?” I heard Angelica call from upstairs. “I’m all finished.”
“Great!” I shook myself out of my romantic trance. “Get into some comfy pajamas.”
I showed her the pads and tampons that her dad had gotten her, and let her know how to use both. Angelica had a bit of an idea, but she was panicking so much earlier it had all flown out of her head, so we walked through it and got her all settled. Then she popped some Midol and I got her into the blanket nest with the ice cream.
“Ta da,” I said, waving at the television and blankets and all the rest. “Now you’re all set.”
Angelica made a face. “My friend Stacy said it would hurt but she didn’t explain how. This sucks. And now I have to get it every month?”
“Well, maybe not every month. Everyone’s cycle is a little different. You can get an app on your phone if you want to help you track it, but it’ll take a few times of getting it for you to pin down exactly how many days in between each cycle you have. And you’ll want to set up an appointment with your doctor.” I smiled at her. “You’ll need to see an OBGYN, not just a pediatrician anymore.”
Angelica made a face. “Being grown up is supposed to be fun, this isn’t fun at all.”
“Well, I hate to spoil the rest of adulthood for you, but there are a lot of things about it that aren’t fun at all. Like paying taxes.”
I nudged her with my elbow and Angelica cracked a small smile.
“But you get used to this,” I reassured her. “I know it seems like a big deal right now. But this will be a part of your life, just like getting a haircut or brushing your teeth.”
“Are my cramps going to be this bad every time?”
“Maybe. I don’t have really bad cramps, so I’m lucky. My friend Emma has them really bad for a day, so she has to stay in bed with a hot water bottle. It’s different for everyone. But you’ll figure out the best way to deal with it. Remember, nobody knows your body better than you do.”
Angelica smiled at me, genuinely this time. “Thanks, Izzi. I was worried that Dad would call Penny to help me.”
Penny was John’s close friend. I was pretty sure she was his closest friend besides my dad. I had always been a bit jealous of her since my mom had sometimes dropped hints that John was awfully close with Penny and that if he should ever choose to move on… but John himself had never given any indication that they were more than friends and I trusted John’s behavior more than I trusted my mom’s bored daydreams.
“Why wouldn’t you want Penny?” I asked. Penny was a good person aside from the fact that I got the impression on our last meeting that she wasn’t quite fond of me. She’d called me a child despite the fact that I was in my twenties. But nobody was perfect. If she was friends with John, she must’ve had a lot of good qualities.
Angelica grimaced. “She talks to me like I’m five years old. I know I’m still a kid but I’m not an idiot! I’m a lot more grown up than she lets me be.”
“Sometimes it’s hard for adults to accept that we’re growing up,” I pointed out. “I know my parents had a hard time when I was a teenager. The adults in your life love you and their instinct is to take care of you and protect you. It can be hard to realize you don’t need them like that anymore. Just give Penny, and anyone else in your life, time and they’ll adjust.”
Angelica looked guilty. “I love my dad.”
“I know you do. And your dad knows it too. He loves you so much, Angelica, I’ve always known that. He’ll understand that you need space. He’ll adjust. You know he got all of this for you and left us alone, no fuss?” I gestured around us. “Maybe just, uh, let him know that you know he cares. Show a little love more often and he’ll be more willing to let you go and do your own thing. You gotta give to get, y’know? Worked with my parents.”
“You seem close with them.”
“I am. I’m very lucky.”
“Do you want kids of your own?” Angelica asked.
I laughed, startled by the question. “Yeah, someday, I’d like a couple of kids. I’m not sure when but I’d like that a lot.”
“Sometimes I wish I had siblings,” Angelica admitted. “I asked Santa for a little sibling once. Dad’s so rich, he could just buy a sibling. I mean, adopt one. Right?”
“I’m sure he could. But kids take a lot of work to raise, and your dad probably doesn’t want to have another kid if he doesn’t have someone to help him. After all, he gave all of his attention to you, right? He might want a second person to help him so that you and your sibling don’t feel like either one of you is left out.”
Of course, I had no idea if John did want another kid or not. He was older, and while I didn’t care about his age in regards to the gap between us, I knew he might care about that when it came to children. I was willing to discuss the idea of adopting older kids if he felt he couldn’t handle going through the baby thing all over again, or if he feared having a baby now would make him too old to properly enjoy being their father.
But that whole discussion could wait until I’d convinced the stubborn man that we would be good together, that we should be together.
Angelica nodded, apparently accepting this answer. I quickly changed the subject onto other things. The topic of John’s potentially having more kids, and of me potentially having kids, was a dangerous one for my heart—not that Angelica knew that.
After a couple of hours had passed, I texted John to let him know that it was okay to come home, and maybe to pick up some of Angelica’s favorite food for dinner. We had the ice cream, but it had been long enough that she’d want some proper dinner and frankly, so did I.
“Your dad’s going to pick up your favorite Indian food,” I told Angelica. “You guys can have dinner and then maybe watch a movie together? Lie down and have the heating pad on your stomach again just like now, and maybe pop another Midol but only after you eat, okay? And drink lots of water.”
“Can you stay for dinner?” Angelica asked. “Or do you have to go?”
My heart warmed. “Of course, I can stay, honey, if that’s what you really want. I don’t want to intrude. I know I often want to be left alone on my period.”
“No, I want you to stay.” Angelica smiled and said shyly, “I like spending time with you. You’re super cool.”
“Oh man, you are going to be so disappointed when you realize what a dork I really am,” I told her with a laugh. “But of course, I’ll stay, it’s not a problem.”
Of course, it would be a problem, for my heart, but there was no way Angelica could know that.
17
John
I could hardly express my relief that Izzi decided to step in and help out Angelica. I would’ve done my best, but it was clear that Angelica preferred to have Izzi there and it was such a weight off my shoulders to have someone handling this who knew what Angelica was going through.
When Izzi told me that Angelica wanted her to stay for dinner, I was glad. I wanted to keep having Izzi there as a kind of guide and buffer to help me with Angelica. I was completely out of my depth here. Although I’d known this day would come, I couldn’t truly relate to what Angelica was going through and having Izzi on hand would be great.
I came home to find the dinner table set and Ang
elica in a better mood, although she was still quieter than usual, more subdued. That was understandable. Izzi helped me get the food set and she kept up the conversation for the most part, asking Angelica questions about movies and fashion, avoiding annoying topics like schoolwork, and it was all so… domestic.
Being a single parent was not something I had ever really complained about. I had been wistful at times, especially when Angelica had been really little and I’d watched her first steps, heard her first words, and known that Laura was missing out on all of it. But I had also loved getting to be a parent, especially to such a wonderful kid like Angelica. But I had never understood what it could feel like to have someone else helping me out and sharing the loud, until tonight.
Izzi helped with the conversation, she got the dishes cleaned up with me, she teased Angelica and got her to get ready for bed… I wasn’t alone doing it all myself for once.
“Angelica wanted to watch a movie with you,” Izzi told me. “I know it’s a school night, but is that okay?”
“I think we can do that just this once,” I said, smiling at my daughter. “This is a special occasion after all.”
Angelica grinned at me. “Thanks Dad!”
“Go make the popcorn!”
“Thanks,” I told Izzi as Angelica scampered into the kitchen. “She has some energy back.”
“Yeah, but don’t expect it to stay,” Izzi laughed quietly. “I’ll have her take another Midol and then she should go to bed after the movie. I know she has school but maybe let her sleep in and drive her there yourself later? She can miss first period for once.”
“I think that’s fair. Thank you for all of your help. I really appreciate it.”
“Yeah, of course. You do a lot for her, and all by yourself, I’m happy to step in with this.” Izzi smiled as she got the living area ready for the movie. “Honestly, I’m surprised you never hired a nanny or a cook to help out. You could certainly afford it.”
Daddy's Best Friend (Forbidden Temptations) Page 11