“I’m perfectly fine,” I tell her.
“You obviously have something wrong with you. We didn’t raise you to abandon your family. But Huxley never gave up on you. He promised us he would find you and bring you back, and he has. Why, Allison? Why did you go?”
Mom’s tears don’t sting as much through the confusion I’m feeling right now. I left, and from what I’m learning, Huxley swooped in and made himself the fucking hero.
“Leave that for tonight, Helen,” Dad says, still not taking his eyes off of me. “She doesn’t look strong enough to handle a conversation. Let’s meet our grandson and celebrate the engagement.”
This isn’t happening.
This is fucking crazy.
I can’t do this.
Pushing away from Huxley’s arm, he tightens his hold, but I keep fighting until he releases me, not wanting to make a scene in front of everyone yet again.
“I’ll go get Tobias,” I choke out, and get away from them all. Quickly searching the room, I find my boy sitting at a table with his new friend from school, and he stands when he sees me rushing toward him. Keeping one hand scrunching up my dress so I don’t trip over it, I grab Tobias’s hand and pull him toward the door with me, without stopping to answer his barrage of questions.
Those people look like my parents, but they spoke like strangers. They spoke like I wasn’t standing right there in front of them. Huxley was their everything. He couldn’t even stand them years ago and did everything he could to keep me from going home. He would tell me he couldn’t bear to be without me, until I folded and agreed to stay. After so long, I didn’t bother.
The drive is lined with cars and drivers waiting around to take their employers home.
Keeping Tobias’s hand tight in mine, I run, dragging him with me until we’re at the last car, and I knock on the window until the driver wakes up and rolls his window down.
“Mom? Where are we going?”
“Not now, Tobes,” I hush him, then turn back to the driver. “I need you to drive us anywhere but here.”
“Lady, this is my job…”
If it’s money he’s worried about, I can pay my way. The diamond on my fourth finger weighs a ton, a constant reminder it’s there, and I yank it off.
“I’ll give you my ring. It’s worth more than you’ll probably earn in a lifetime. It’s yours if you unlock the car and drive us away from here, until I tell you to stop.”
His eyes light up as he takes the piece of jewellery in.
“Sure. Jump in.”
The locks disengage, and then I hear the footfalls on the gravel grow louder.
“I warned you what would happen if you tried to take him away from me again. Take that ring off and I’ll bring hell down on you, I swear to fucking God, Bug. I’m this close to destroying you.”
“You already have!” I scream, and Tobias jumps away from me.
“Ry, take the boy back inside. I need to talk to Allison.”
There have been moments since I became a mother that shook me silent, and I have to take a few moments to gather myself. One time, when Tobias laughed for the first time, the sound shook through me and it never left. When he took his first step and showed me how fast he was growing, and how strong he was becoming.
And now, when he steps in front of me and tips his little chin up as he looks at Huxley.
“Me and my mom are going home now.”
I pull him back against me, and Ryder steps forward.
The corner of Huxley’s mouth turns up, like he’s proud. It makes me feel sick.
“Do you know your mom has been lying to you? She told you Conner was your dad, but she lied. I’m—”
“Don’t you dare,” I seethe.
Opening the car door, I spin on my heels to push Tobias in the car, then everything around me moves in a whirl. Huxley comes up from behind, and Ryder comes up from the side.
Huxley winds his arms around me as Ryder holds his hand out for Tobias.
“Your mom is sick, Tobias. I’m going to help her, but I can’t if she keeps trying to leave. Go inside with Ryder and he’ll show you where Trenton is.”
“I’m not sick, don’t tell him that!” I scream, just as Ryder whisks Tobias into his arms, heading into the house. Huxley doesn’t waste time in shoving me forward and flinging me over his shoulder. He uses the side door that leads to the staff’s stairs and heads up to his room. Of course, no one sees him doing as he wishes.
Something inside me snaps when he sets me down and closes the door to his room. I don’t know when I lost my heels, but I’m thankful for my bare feet when I run at him and shove him in the chest. He barely moves, but all those years of having his kind of love in my life comes unleashed, and I don’t stop.
I shove him, punch him, and for the grand finale, I strike him across the face. The adrenaline is pumping through me and I want more. I want him to suffer, to really suffer like I have.
“Is that all you’ve got?” he goads me, and I lurch forward again.
Only this time, he catches me, and we both fall to the floor. In one swift move, he has me pinned to the carpet, his face hovering two inches from mine.
“You made my parents think I’m sick. They hate me now.”
“You did that when you left. When are you going to stop blaming me for everything?”
“This is on you, and I will never stop trying to run. You’re a disease, and I won’t have you poisoning my son.”
“From now on, you don’t have a son unless I say you do. You’re lucky if I let you stay in this house. I have the whole town thinking you’re not well and that I’m helping you. It would be all too easy to have you committed, and no one would listen to your cries that you’re not crazy. All I wanted was you, and I’ll do anything to have you.”
Tears of anger burst from me, and I can’t stop them. My hands are held down and I can’t wipe them. They keep coming and I cry some more when I can’t make him budge to get him off of me.
“Stop crying, you know I can’t stand it.”
Oh, sure, I’ll stop then.
“I’m going to go back down to the party and take our son for a walk around the gardens. I’m going to tell him the truth, then I’m going to introduce him to your parents so he can start to build a relationship with them. I suggest you get yourself cleaned up and join me. Otherwise, who knows what I might say.”
“Please—”
“No, the time of you thinking you’re calling the shots is over. You’re home now, and I will get to know my son. Now you have to prove yourself to me, that you want to be a part of this family. I won’t let you hurt me again, Bug.”
Hurt him? Why does it always have to be about him? The only way to hurt him is to embarrass him.
“He won’t understand.”
“Oh, he will, because I’m going to make sure he does. I’m not as heartless as you’d like to believe. He’s my fucking son. Just because I want him to know who I am, doesn’t mean I won’t be there to soften the pain of your lies. I’m a good dad like that, and you’d know it if you would stop fucking running from me.”
He lifts himself off of me and straightens his jacket, leaving me on the floor.
“Make yourself presentable and join us downstairs. Behave yourself, and I’ll let you tuck the boy in tonight. Maybe even read to him before lights out.”
A sob escapes me, but he doesn’t falter as he walks out of the room. I don’t wait for the door to close, I jump to my feet and run into the bathroom.
In a mad dash to wipe the make-up clean off my face, it feels like it’s taking forever. Splashing cold water over my cheeks does nothing to help me feel better in this nightmare. He said the whole town thinks I’m mentally unstable. How can I fight the whole town if I want to get my son away from here?
They’re all crazy for believing him.
Reapplying a fresh layer of concealer and foundation, it covers the red blotches on my cheekbones, and I tidy up the watery mascara.
I d
on’t care if it’s not perfect as how his majesty wants it. It’s tidy enough for me. I make my way downstairs and begin searching for Huxley and Tobias.
I don’t see them anywhere, and I don’t see my parents. Trenton is sitting at a table with his grandparents, who scowl at me as I pass.
I’ve done nothing to them, so they can keep their disgust to themselves. Walking out the back, the fresh air bites into my skin, and I hear Huxley’s voice.
I follow the sound and find him sitting on one of the benches with our son close beside him.
He couldn’t have told him too much. I hadn’t taken that long, I made sure of it.
“I hate her.”
A gasp escapes me, and I cover my mouth with my hand.
“It’s okay to hate someone, but she’s your mom. You’re only saying that because you’re hurting.”
My stomach rolls with nausea at how Huxley is being nice when he doesn’t know how to be.
“Are we going to live here forever now?”
“You sure are, if that’s okay with you. One day, this will be yours and Trenton’s house. There’s so much you don’t know, and so much you’re entitled to. Whatever you want from now on, it’s yours. All you have to do is ask, and poof, it’ll appear.”
“Like a new BMX?”
“You want a new bike?”
Tobias nods, and Huxley smiles.
“Then when you get home from school tomorrow, you’ll have a brand-new bike.”
“Wow.”
His happiness is short-lived and he hangs his head.
“What’s wrong?”
“Why did my mom tell me Dad was my dad?”
“Sometimes people do things that can’t be understood. Your mom has always done things that no one understands. Don’t worry about it, though. I’m here now, and I’m going to look after her.”
“Are you a doctor?”
“No, but I’ve known your mom for a very long time. She just needs her medicine. I’m going to take her to the doctor tomorrow, and she’ll be happy in no time.”
Before Huxley can tell him he’s basically God in this town, I step forward, the most nervous I’ve ever been around my kid, and take a deep breath.
“There you are,” I say, giving him my most relaxed grin. When he looks at Huxley, I force the pain away and step closer to them. Huxley stands and gestures for Tobias to stand beside him.
“Your mom knows she’s done something bad, and that’s why you’re staying here so we can get to know each other properly.”
Manipulation is what Huxley does best, and I need to be one step ahead of him. First with my parents, and now with my son. I can’t let this happen.
Closing the distance between us, I kneel to Tobias’s height and smile around the heartache.
“I am so sorry. From now on, only the truth between us, yeah?”
He doesn’t say anything as he looks up at Huxley.
“Tobias,” I say, getting his attention. “I’m sure you have many questions for me, and I promise I will answer them all.”
I wrap my arms around him, unable to take his silence any longer, and breathe a sigh of relief when he hugs me back.
“Come on, let’s get back to our guests. They’re waiting for our big announcement,” Huxley prods us.
Pulling away, I stand and take hold of his hand. The ring on my fourth finger twinkles under the light, and as much as it will kill me to cause him more confusion, it’ll be easier doing it alone than in a room full of people.
“Hold on. First, I want to tell Tobias.”
Huxley bends down to his height and reaches for my left hand. I don’t know if Tobias caught the sight of the ring earlier, but he stares hard at it now.
“I know you’ve lost a lot lately, and I know how confusing all of this is for you, but from now on, this is our lives, all together.”
“Are you getting married, Mom?”
“Looks like it.” I smile. “I’ve got both my guys now, so let’s go show this town our new family.”
The shit flows from my mouth, even as I keep the smile on my lips. It’s so easy to mask the pain from him. When he looks up at Huxley, I see nothing but warmth toward him. As I watch Huxley place his hand on the top of Tobias’s head, I force myself to swallow the lies I’ve told and brace myself for the next chapter in our lives. As the three of us walk inside, women coo as we pass by their tables, and men smile and nod at Huxley.
I plant the most genuine smile on my face and keep it there, no matter how many people Huxley introduces us to, or how many times I catch the eye of my father and his disappointment from across the room.
As we make our way to the staircase, where Huxley plans to give his speech, we stop at the Dwyer’s table and collect Trenton. Kayleigh’s parents act like they’ve never met me, and don’t intend on ever knowing me when Huxley reminds them of who I am.
Huxley’s hand smooths down my back until he stops and rests at my lower back as I step beside him on the staircase.
“I hope you’re all enjoying the party tonight,” he begins as we’re both handed a glass of champagne. The boys are given a glass of orange juice and stand diligently.
When the guests quieten, he carries on. “As you can see, the loneliness Trenton and I have felt over the last year has been spared with Allison returning to me, where she belongs. We’re happy to announce we’re to be married at the end of the month.”
Cheers and claps of congratulations fill the room, and my frozen smile stays in place when he presses his lips against the side of my head. I don’t know how I’m going to get out of this, but I will. Ryder leans against the wall in the corner where he thinks I can’t see him. Pure rage trembles through him as he throws back his drink and takes another from a passing waiter.
“I couldn’t be happier.” Huxley toasts as the town cheers all around us. They all love him, but I need them to love me too.
With Tobias standing in front of us, and Trenton standing at his father’s side, I rise up on my tiptoes and press my lips to Huxley’s cheek.
He’s startled, and I love that I shocked him. I was always his favourite opponent for playing games because I let him win. Well, I’m playing now, and I’m going to beat him once and for all.
The past
My arms slip into his jacket and he’s there to do the buttons up for me. I awkwardly hide my happiness that Huxley Bailey-Vaughan has just taken me out on my first date, and is now about to take me to Make-Out Point.
He holds my hand during the drive, but neither of us say much. I doubt I’d be able to string coherent sentences together anyway. I’m thankful for the silence.
I’m not stupid, I know what happens out here. It’s a make-out point, and I don’t have to worry about Huxley trying anything with me, because I want him to. If I only get this one night with him, I don’t want any regrets.
It’s pretty late, and no one is around when he stops the car by the cliff’s edge. He climbs out and rounds the car, opening my door for me and holds his hand out for me to take.
We lay back on the hood of his car after he’s thrown a blanket over it, and his fingers entwine with mine between our bodies.
“How many times have you been brought out here?”
What a strange question to ask when we’re on a date.
“This is my first time.”
This makes him happy. My mouth opens to ask him the same question, but I don’t want to hear the answer, so I close it again and stare up at the stars.
“At home, I have this telescope. You can see everything up there. Sometimes I forget I’m on Earth when I look through it. I can show you one day if you’d like?” he tells me.
“I’d love to.”
He shifts onto his side and rests his head on the palm of his hand. My heart thrums with anticipation as I second guess his next move and watch his lips closely, hoping he’ll put them on mine.
“I’ve never been on a date before,” he tells me, and I snort. I don’t mean to, and I cringe at the
rude sound disturbing the quietness around us.
“It’s true. You’re my first.”
His first. The thrumming of my heart flips into a thumping, and my breath catches in my throat when he leans down.
This is it. My first kiss, with the boy who owns the town.
His lips are soft, but hard as he slips his hand around the back of my head to deepen the kiss. His tongue sweeps over mine and I latch my fingers onto his sweater.
This moment, this kiss, this date…it’s perfect. It’s what movies are made from.
“I’ve wanted to do that for days,” he says, stroking the pad of his thumb across my bottom lip.
He isn’t shy to touch me. I’m hooked on the way he takes me in, like he’s working out who I am, what I’m made of. It’s when his eyes land on mine, I see something about him that’s unanswerable. The night passes in an intoxicating blur, and when he drops me off at home, he walks me to my door and kisses me one last time before he’s driving away. I’m drunk on him and an addict, because I need more.
“How was it?” Mom smiles as I come through the door.
I have to force the words to leave my mouth. Are there any words to describe how perfect the night was? No, there’s not.
“That good?” she chuckles, noticing my grin.
“That good,” I agree.
“Get some sleep, and I’ll let your dad know that you’re home so he can put the shotgun away.”
She’s joking. My dad doesn’t own any type of gun. I run up the stairs and close myself in my room. I fall on my bed and kick my feet out in excitement. I laugh to myself. I don’t even remember coming upstairs.
Huxley Bailey-Vaughan pressed his lips to mine.
He kissed me, and more than once.
Not in a dream, but for real, and I’m falling so hard, I don’t care how much it hurts when I land.
* * *
PRESENT
How times have changed, stupid young love. How was I so gullible? This place is bringing back so many memories I thought were dead and buried. I believed he was in love with me, and we were a textbook high school couple who were madly in love, when in reality he was playing with me, messing with my head.
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