He pops my bikini top off with ease, and I shiver from the cool air conditioner against my wet skin.
His head dips down and takes my hard nipple into his mouth. Huxley is a biter, and his teeth graze over my nipple before they clamp down around my hard bud.
“Did you see the way Ryder was looking at you?”
“Huh?”
Where did that come from?
“You must have been seeing things? He wasn’t looking at me,” I assure him.
“I know what I saw, Bug. He’s always had a thing for you, you know. Maybe you shouldn’t wear this shit, teasing him. Poor bastard.”
“I don’t want to talk about him. Kiss me.”
I need Huxley. Why I thought I could leave him, I have no idea.
He devours my mouth with his as he lifts me by my thighs and wraps my legs around his waist. He doesn’t waste time heading to the bedroom and crosses the room until we’re at the couch.
“When we’re done, put your clothes on. I don’t want anyone seeing what’s mine.”
He can’t be angry with me; I didn’t ask for Ryder to look at me. It’s not like Huxley has anything to worry about. Ryder isn’t inappropriate around me, he’s just a good friend who takes it upon himself to look out for me.
Huxley is rougher than normal, and by the time he’s finished, I’m left feeling as if I’ve been punished.
I butter my slice of toast, and the crunch when I bite into it nearly deafens me in the emptiness of the kitchen. The boys have already left for school. I haven’t seen Huxley since his sexual assault on me yesterday, and Rose is doing her usual creepy ninja act somewhere around the house. It’s strange sitting at the table alone, because I don’t feel like I’m alone. In a weird, messed up way, I feel like Regina is here, or her ghost. Not that she’s dead. Her presence is very much felt here, unless I’m just feeling more like her every day. Trapped. I have no idea anymore. I finish my breakfast and clear the table myself. I walk by Huxley’s office and it’s empty. I find myself walking through to the lobby when a small case that’s perched at the bottom of the stairs catches my attention, and Huxley’s driver waiting by the door.
Is he leaving for a business trip? I can only hope, and I do hope he’s leaving for a trip.
“Ms. Miller, Mr. Bailey-Vaughan has arranged an early wedding gift for you.”
He leans down and collects the case, and then opens the door for me. Me? He’s letting me leave? Then again, it’s not like Tobias has a case and we’re going together.
“Will I need anything?” I ask, trying to gain some knowledge from him.
“No, Ms. Miller. He has arranged everything for you.”
I follow him outside, and there sits a different town car to the one he drives for Huxley. He opens the door for me, and then sets off to put the case in the back once I’m seated.
I can do without a spa trip today, but after yesterday, I’m not fighting with him over the small things so he can use my son as a weapon. I need to pick my battles with him, and I need to pick wisely. The last time I went to a spa in town, it was with Regina at the country club. Only, the car whizzes by the country club and continues on for another forty minutes. No doubt the driver will report everything back to Huxley, so I sit back and refrain from asking any questions, even though I have a hundred of them.
Huge trees line each side of the road, reaching toward the sky. There are no signposts as to where we are. Nothing but trees.
We drive for another twenty minutes until we stop at a set of grand, black steel gates, and wait for them to open.
The drive is another five-minute ride, and I take in the land around us. It’s remarkably beautiful with its sweeping grass and impeccably kept bushes. The driver stops and swiftly makes his way to open my door.
Stepping out, my mouth hangs open at the huge water fountain in the middle of the drive, and I’m glad to know I still find I’m shocked to see something so luxurious.
As I turn to see who’s stepping out of this grand mansion, I’m further stunned silent at the woman grinning down at me with such happiness and sadness all mixed together.
Regina.
She hasn’t aged a day since I left, and the silk shawl covering her shoulders hide the weight she’s lost.
I was never particularly close with Regina, but something is telling me, or screaming at me, that we have so much in common now, and it’s going to bring us together. I could be wrong, I am about a lot of things. Or I could be hoping for someone to know how evil Huxley is and be on my side—any side of some sort.
“Allison, darling, look at you. Still so beautiful,” she beams, and steps down to the next step.
That’s as far as she’ll come, I know, so I make the effort and go to her. Some things will never change when it comes to Regina Bailey.
I can feel how much weight she’s lost over the years when she collects me in her arms.
She’s all bones, and smells of fruity wine. As ever, though, Regina’s vibrant red lipstick is on point.
“My heart bleeds that you’re here, but my selfish bones are more than happy to see you.”
“I understand, more than you know.”
Another first is when I see a tear roll out of the corner of Regina Bailey-Vaughan’s eye. She dabs it away with her hankie that appears from inside her sleeve, and another smile hides the sadness behind her eyes.
“Let’s get ourselves inside. I’ve had the chef cooking all morning, and I’ve had a room made up for you.”
How long has she known I was coming? The driver palms my case off to Regina’s butler, and I watch as he jogs down the steps and slides back behind the wheel.
“Regina? Did Huxley say how long I’m going to be staying here?”
Her chin raises defiantly as she looks away.
“Don’t worry about that now, love. I’ve arranged for an early lunch so we can take a walk around the grounds. I would like to show you my new secret garden.”
Don’t worry?
Stepping over the threshold, the foyer screams Regina. Super sleek with polished marbled floors, a grand staircase creeping up the walls like vines, and art that no doubt costs more than most people’s houses.
Still, I don’t see the family portrait hanging around. I’ll have to ask her about it.
“When Thomas died and Huxley took over the family businesses, he shipped me here and forbade me to go home to Bailey Cove.”
“Why?”
She leads us into the dining room, where the table is set impeccably. Her home is beautiful, and just as lavish and grand as the Bailey mansion. If I didn’t know who this place belonged to, the décor would tell me. The marble that screams not to be walked on, the chandelier dangling from the ceiling twinkling even in the daylight, and the simple pieces of art that hang on the walls, all of it’s classy, and very Regina. We sit at one end of the table that goes on for miles, and her staff busy themselves around us, loading our plates with tiny sandwiches.
“Because I said I was glad he couldn’t find you. I hoped he would never find you, and when he moved that stupid girl into the house, I thought he had moved on, even if it was with a town tramp. But he treated her so badly, I pitied her. I could see through him and he didn’t like it.”
I don’t remember Kayleigh ever being one to fall for Huxley’s dramatics or his awful attitude. This makes no sense. Even hearing his version of it from him last week, it still baffles me.
“I found out he was still looking for you by chance. Ryder was around to pass on a message to Huxley and dropped the folder next to me. It didn’t peak my interests until a picture of you fell out.”
It sounds to me that Ryder dropped the file on purpose. It doesn’t matter, though. Regina obviously holds no power if she’s out here and content to be.
“I need to call him, Regina. I’m happy to see you, but my son is with him, and I need to know he’s okay.”
“Your son?”
Her red-stained bottom lip quivers before she purses her lips
tightly, while fiddling with the napkin on her lap.
“I was pregnant when I left Huxley. Not that I knew at the time.”
She chokes on a small cry, and I move my chair closer to hers. I hold onto her hands, and she seems grateful for the connection.
“I had no idea,” she sighs sadly, and I notice how cold her hands are. “Although, I had an idea of how he treated you. I’m sorry.”
She’s a shell of the woman she used to be. I don’t have the energy to be angry with her too. I knew she knew, and I knew she’d never go against her only son.
“I got away—”
“Yes, but he’s brought you back. Go on, go call him, and I’ll wait here.”
With one last squeeze of her cold, bony hands, I stand and walk around the table.
“When you come back, will you tell me about him…your son?”
“Of course.” I smile at her, and it’s genuine.
I don’t go very far. I sit on the bottom stair and pull my phone out of my pocket. I swipe my finger across the screen and bring his number up, giving it an angry stab of my finger.
It rings, and rings, until it goes to voicemail. So I hang up and call again, and again, but the calls continue to go to voicemail. I will call until he answers. Finally, on the seventh call, he picks up.
“I’m busy,” he snaps.
“I’ll keep this short then. What the fuck? I’m not your mother, you can’t just ship me off when you don’t like what you hear.”
I won’t be punished for not having sex with him.
“I sent you away, as you put it, so you wouldn’t have to see me fucking some other woman. If you won’t give it to me, I won’t go without.”
Is he trying to ignite a jealous streak in me? He’ll be sorely disappointed if that’s so.
“I could have slept in a different room, Huxley. Or you could be like every other asshole and frequent a hotel.”
“Would it bother you to smell her perfume on the sheets if I did that?”
Bile threatens to creep up my throat, and I can’t withhold the repulsion in my tone when I say, “You’re disgusting.”
“I know,” he replies, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “Spend some time with Regina. She’ll be able to teach you how to detach yourself emotionally from my son. There might be a day when you go for a trip and don’t come back. When I’m ready for you to return, I’ll send for you.”
He hangs up on me and I could scream. I hate him so fucking much. Regina is still perched on her chair at the head of the table, and sadness washes over me.
“Can I ask, dear, why did you leave Huxley?”
I wouldn’t have a problem telling the Regina I used to know, but with this nice, timid Regina, it doesn’t feel right.
“I needed to find myself. I wanted to see what life was like without him,” I lie easily.
“Why come back?”
I go to tell her that I have no idea when she holds up her hand to stop me.
“Oh yes, Huxley would have found you,” she says more to herself than me. “He loves you so much. He never gave up on you.”
We eat the rest of lunch in silence, her thinking to herself and me watching her, trying to see if any part of the old Regina Bailey-Vaughan is still in there somewhere.
I wondered if it was worth me getting out of bed this morning, but I quickly shot up and showered and got dressed. Thinking like that is a slippery slope to letting Huxley have everything he wants, and over my dead body will that happen.
I barely slept last night, and I still have no idea how I’m going to get us away from him.
George pours me another coffee, and then steps to the side, awaiting any further instructions from me.
“Please, I’ll be fine on my own. Go and tend to Regina. I want to be alone.”
Tend to? I shouldn’t have watched Downtown Abbey back in the day. Regina’s staff are something from then, and they’re stifling. I thought Rose was tiring, but it’s so much worse here.
I add another sugar lump to my coffee and listen to the water feature trickling by the roses.
It’s certainly relaxing here, but my muscles are coiled so tightly, I’m afraid they’re going to snap at any moment.
“It’s a lovely day, is it not?”
I turn around at hearing his sarcasm. Ryder struts across the lawn and pulls out a chair for himself.
His hair is perfectly swept back, and his eyes are wide and alert. I used to think I knew him, but these days, I have no idea what he’s up to.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you, but I can leave if you want.” He goes to stand, but my hand shoots out over the table and stops him.
“Please, stay a while. Better yet, take me back to Bailey Cove.”
“Can’t do that, Ally, but I can tell you Tobias is fine. He’s at school and he’s doing fine.”
He said that twice.
“Has he asked where I am?”
“Hux told the boys you went to Paris to look for a wedding dress, and that you’ll be back this weekend.”
Weekend? That’s three days away.
“What will they think when I come back with no dress?”
“Don’t be silly. Hux already has your dress.”
Of course he does. It doesn’t matter that I haven’t been measured or had any fittings.
“What are you up to?”
I’ve never known him to lie to me, and I hope he doesn’t start now.
“I don’t know what you’re implying, but I’m up to nothing.”
“Sure you’re not. First you break into Huxley’s office when you know he’s out of town, and then you turn up here when you know he wouldn’t like it one bit. What’s your plan?”
He must have one, he has to. Otherwise, what is he doing here? What’s he still doing in Bailey Cove?
“If I asked you to trust me, would you?” He raises his hand. “Let me rephrase. Have I ever given you reason not to trust me?”
I don’t want to, but I shake my head. Ryder, in one way or another, has helped me out.
“I need you to give me time, and trust and believe that I’m helping in a fucked up way.”
“Can I help with whatever you’re doing?”
This time, he shakes his head. “No.”
I can’t believe this. He has a plan and I need to know it. It’s not like I’d go behind Ryder’s back and tell Huxley. His eyes drop to my mouth, and he sweeps his tongue across his bottom lip. I don’t think he even knows he’s doing it.
“I want to kiss you again,” he tells me, almost like he’s trying to distract me.
“Again? You stole the first kiss from me, so it didn’t count.”
“You didn’t push me away. It counts,” he throws at me.
I can’t help it, I smile.
“I promise, this will all be over soon.”
I don’t tend to believe in promises, even the ones I make to myself. They’re rarely carried out, and the failure is too much to bear.
Rising from the garden chair, I stretch my back and it pops in two different places.
“You sound old.” He laughs.
“I’m feeling old,” I chuckle, looking around the gardens. “Will you walk with me?”
He doesn’t hesitate to jump up and join me. The grass is soft under my bare feet, and I tip my head back to enjoy the warmth the sun offers.
“How many times do you think Regina comes out here?” Ryder murmurs, us both knowing it wouldn’t be very often. She likes things to look nice for her viewing at the windows and from her balconies.
“What do you think life would have been like if we got together?” I blurt out. He’s quiet for a moment, and then he laughs softly.
“You would be constantly sore because I wouldn’t be able to leave you alone. We would have gone to the same college, and we would’ve rented an apartment together. During the school breaks, I would have taken you all around the world. Your father wouldn’t have worried about you being wit
h me, he would have trusted me to protect you and love you.
“After college, we would have gone into the big wide world, far from Bailey Cove, and found our way together. Down the line, I would have gotten down on bended knee and asked you to marry me, and then the kids would soon come after the vows. We would have shared laughter, pleasure, passion. You would have been happy with me, Allison.”
Shame engulfs me. I go to pull away from him, needing space from a past I could have had. A past so different to the one I had, and to the one I could have had with Huxley.
Tobias has been my joy, but there was always fear lurking nearby in the back of my mind. Ryder stops me from breaking contact.
“Why don’t you ask me what life could be like if we got together now?” he questions, stepping in front of me.
“I can’t,” I say, pleading with him to not go down this path. “I can’t afford to think like that.”
“You mean you can’t afford to want it because you’d have to admit I could change your life? When are you going to realise life doesn’t have to be about games and trickery? You can choose your own path.”
“That’d be nice,” I snort.
“Yeah, it would be, and it could be real.”
We continue to walk, and by the vines of pale-yellow roses, the most beautiful blue and red butterfly sits, flapping its wings.
“You call me “Butterfly” sometimes. Why?”
I move slowly toward it and hold my hand near the rose where it sits and wait patiently. It takes a moment, but it flies onto my finger and its colours are majestic.
“Ry?”
My voice startles the creature and it flies off, scattering its path as it goes. “Did you see that?” I ask, turning around to find Ryder walking back to the house.
What’s happening? I don’t understand anyone in my life anymore.
Huxley has decided I can return to the kingdom, the decision made shortly after the boys leave for school, making me wait all day to see Tobias. In fact, no one has been around at all today, and when the doors open, Huxley walks through as the boys run past him, eager to get to their games. Hasn’t he missed me? Huxley notices my pain, and never one to miss it, he takes delight in stepping in to show me how much power he holds over us.
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