Mrs. Deardon took to her bunk and did not emerge. I missed her discourse. Mr. Deardon accepted the fury of the storm with the equilibrium I expected of him. I was sure he would remain serene and dignified, no matter what the disaster.
I could now go on deck and I recalled vividly that occasion when Simon had found me there during the great storm and had chided me and sent me down. I thought: All my life there will be memories of him.
At length the ordeal was over. Mrs. Deardon quickly recovered and was her old garrulous self. Mr. Deardon listened to her perpetual chatter with composed resignation; but I was glad of it. I could listen to it vaguely while inwardly following my own thoughts, secure in the knowledge that if I betrayed inattention I should be immediately forgiven on account of the ordeal through which I had passed.
There followed the long journey through France and finally the arrival at Calais and the Channel crossing.
The sight of the white cliffs of Dover affected us all. Tears came to Mrs. Deardon’s eyes and even her husband, for the first time, showed a certain emotion by the twitching of his lips.
“It’s home, dear,” said Mrs. Deardon.
“It’s always the same. You just think of Easter and the daffodils … and the green grass. There’s no green like our green. It’s what you think of when you’re away. And the rain, dear, the blessed rain. Do you know, in Egypt they go for a year or even two without seeing a drop just those horrible sandstorms. We were in I’mailia … how many years, Jack, was it? Surely it wasn’t that . and . and hardly ever saw rain. That’s what it is, dear. It’s the white cliffs. Home. It’s good to see them.”
And after that, London.
The Deardons insisted on delivering me.
“You must come in and meet my father,” I said.
“He will want to thank you.”
Mrs. Deardon was eager to do so, but Mr. Deardon was firm, and in this he showed his talent for diplomacy.
“Miss Cranleigh will want to meet her family alone,” he said.
I looked at him gratefully and said: “My father will most certainly wish to thank you personally. Perhaps you could come and dine with us soon.”
“That,” said Mr. Deardon, ‘would be a great pleasure. “
So I said goodbye to them in the cab which waited until I had rung the doorbell and the door was opened. Then immediately and discreetly, Mr. Deardon ordered the cabby to drive on.
The door was opened by Mr. Dolland.
I gave a cry of joy and threw myself into his arms. He coughed a little. I did not realize at that moment that our household had changed. And there was Mrs. Harlow. I rushed at her. There were tears in her eyes.
“Oh, Miss Rosetta, Miss Rosetta,” she cried, embracing me.
“You’re really here. Oh … it’s been terrible.”
And there were Meg and Emily.
“It is wonderful to see you all,” I cried.
And then . Felicity. We flew to each other and clung.
“I had to come,” she said.
“I’m here for two days. I said to James, ” I’ve got to go. “
“Felicity! Felicity! How wonderful to see you,” There was a little cough. Over Felicity’s head I saw my father. He looked awkward and embarrassed.
I went to him.
“Oh, Father,” I said.
He took me into his arms and held me rather stiffly. It must have been the first time he had ever done so.
“Welcome … welcome home, Rosetta,” he began.
“I cannot express .. “
I thought then: He does care for me. He does. It is just that . he cannot express.
A tall thin woman was standing a pace or two behind him. For half a second I thought my mother had been saved after all. But it was someone else.
“Your Aunt Maud is here,” said my father.
“She came to look after me and the household when …”
Aunt Maud! My father’s sister. I had seen her only once or twice during my childhood. She was tall and rather gaunt. She had a look of my father, but she entirely lacked his obvious helplessness.
“We are all tremendously relieved that you are now safely home, Rosetta,” she was saying.
“It has been an anxious time for your father for us all.”
“Yes,” I said, “for all of us.”
“Well, now you are back. Your room is ready. Oh, it is such a relief that you are home!”
I felt numb with surprise.
Aunt Maud here . in my mother’s place. Nothing would be the same again.
How right I was. The house had changed. Aunt Maud had proved to be a strict disciplinarian. The kitchen was now orderly. There was no question of my having meals there. I should have them with my father and Aunt Maud in the proper manner. Fortunately, for those first few days Felicity was with us.
I could not wait to hear the verdict of the kitchen. Mr. Dolland discreetly said that Miss Cranleigh was a good manager and no one could help but respect her. Mrs. Harlow agreed.
“Things were not really run right in the old days,” she said.
“Mind you, Mr. Dolland worked wonders but there ought to be either a master or a mistress in a house and a mistress is better because she knows what’s what.”
So Aunt Maud apparently knew what was what; but the old unconventional house had disappeared and I desperately longed to catch the old flavour.
Mr. Dolland still did the occasional ‘turn’, but The Bells had lost their horror for me. Having passed through some horrific adventures myself, I could no longer get a thrill out of the murder of the Polish Jew. Meg and Emily regretted the old days; but one thing I could rejoice in was the fact that some of those who had shared them were still here.
Meals were naturally different. Everything had to be served in the correct manner. The conversation was no longer dominated by ancient finds and the translation from some piece of papyrus. Aunt Maud discussed politics and the weather; and she told me that when my father had got over mourning for my mother, she proposed to give a few dinner parties . for his colleagues from the Museum . professors and suchlike.
I was glad Felicity was with us for these first days, apart from my joy in seeing her. I knew that if she had not been there I should have wanted to shut myself away in my bedroom and avoid those interminable meals. But Felicity did lighten the conversation with amusing stories about life in Oxford and the exploits of her son Jamie, now aged three, and little Flora who was not yet one.
“You must come and see them, Rosetta,” she said.
“I am sure your father will spare you after a while. Now, of course, you have just come home …”
“Of course, of course,” said my father.
I could talk more freely to Felicity and I needed to talk. But I must do so guardedly even to her. It was very difficult to speak of my adventures because Simon had played such an important part in them and the fact that I must not betray him made me very reticent, lest by some odd remark I might do so.
But Felicity and I had been so close and she guessed something was on my mind.
On the day after my arrival she came to my room. It was clear to me that, sensing some problem, she wanted to help me with it. If only someone could do that!
She burst out suddenly: “Tell me frankly, Rosetta. Do you want to talk? I know how difficult it must be to discuss what has happened. Do say if it is. B.ut I think it might help …”
I hesitated.
“I’m not sure …”
“I understand. It must have been very frightening. Your father told us how you were lost when you went back for his notes.”
“Oh yes. It’s strange how little things like that can change one’s life.”
“He blames himself, Rosetta. I know he doesn’t betray his emotions .. but that does not mean they are not there.”
“Everything is so different now,” I said.
“The house … everything.
I know it can never again be as it used to. “
“It really is a very good thing that your Aunt Maud is here, Rosetta.”
“We never saw much of her when I was young. I scarcely recognized her.
It seems so strange that she should be here now. “
“I gathered she and your mother did not get on. That’s easy to understand. They were so different. Your parents were so immersed in their work and … your aunt is so efficient in running a house.”
I gave her a wry smile.
“I liked ours as it was … inefficient.”
“Your father misses your mother … terribly. They were so close in everything they did … always together. It is a sad blow for him.
He cannot. “
“Cannot express,” I said.
She nodded.
“And you, Rosetta, when you feel more settled you must come and stay with us. James would be delighted and you would love the children. Jamie is a very independent young gentleman and Flora is just beginning to toddle. They are adorable.”
“It would be lovely to come.”
“You have only to say. I shall have to go back the day after tomorrow.
But I had to be here for your’re turn. “
“How glad I am that you were!”
“By the way, did you hear about Lucas Lorimer?”
“Lucas … no!”
“Oh … didn’t you? I suppose you wouldn’t. He came back, you know.”
“He came back …” I repeated.
“Obviously you haven’t heard. He told us the story. We thought you had been drowned and it was a great relief to hear that you had escaped the wreck. But we were terribly worried to hear you had fallen into the hands of those wicked people. I’ve had nightmares wondering what had happened.”
“Tell me about Lucas.”
“It’s a very sad story. That it should happen to him! I’ve only seen him once since he came back. James and I went down to Cornwall. James was lecturing at a college in Truro … and we called at Trecorn Manor. I don’t think he is very pleased to see anyone. Trecorn Manor is a lovely old place. It’s been in the family for years. Lucas’s brother Carleton inherited. That was another sore point. It’s always a bit of a strain for a man like that to be a second son. He used to be such a vital person.”
“What happened to him?”
“As you know, he was captured with you, but he somehow made a bargain with those people. He persuaded them to free him in exchange for some family jewels. How it was done I don’t quite know. He obviously didn’t want to talk about it, and one can’t ask questions … not too many in any case. However, they let him go. It was a sort of ransom. Poor Lucas, he’ll never be the same again. He so loved to travel. James always said he was something of a dilettante. It’s his leg, you see.
It was terribly hurt in the wreck. Of course, if it had had attention at the time. He’s been to various bone people getting advice . all over the country and abroad . Switzerland and Germany . but it is always the same story. It was neglected at the vital time. He limps badly and has to walk with a stick and he’s in considerable pain. He is a little better, I believe, but the leg will never be right. It’s changed him. He used to be so witty and amusing . now he-is quite morose. He is the last person this should have happened to. “
I was back in the past. I saw him clinging to the lifeboat, our clumsy efforts to set his leg . lying on the island, keeping watch for a sail while Simon and I went off to forage and talk secrets.
“So you don’t see him often …”
“No. It’s not really all that far away. I’ve asked him t( come and stay, but he declines my invitations. I think h< doesn’t want to go anywhere … or to see anyone. Yoi see, it is a complete change. He used to live such a bus social life, and he seemed to enjoy it.”
“I should like to see him again.”
“Why, yes. He might be interested in that. Or perhaps h< wouldn’t want to be reminded. It may be that he is trying to forget. I tell you what I will do. Come and stay and I’l invite him too. He might make the effort to see you. Aftei all, you were together on that island.”
“Oh, please arrange it. Felicity.”
“I certainly shall… and soon.”
I felt excited at the prospect, but even to Lucas I coult not talk of Simon. That was our secret. shared only b^ us two. Simon had told me because he trusted me. I mus respect that trust. If he were hunted down and brough back through me, I should never forgive myself. To Lucas Simon must remain the deck hand who saved our lives.
Felicity had to go home and the house seemed dull. Ther was an air of such normality about it that I was forced t look facts in the face and make a logical conclusion.
I had deluded myself into thinking that when I was horn I should be able to prove Simon’s innocence. How? I askec myself now. How did I set about it? Go to his home? Gei to know people who had played a part in the drama which had led up to the shooting? I could not go to Perrivak Court and say: “I know Simon is innocent and I have com to uncover the truth and solve the mystery.” How could ] behave as though I were an investigator from Scotlanc Yard!
I needed time to think. I was obsessed by the need to prove his innocence so that he could come back and leac a normal life. But suppose I did achieve this seemingi) impossible task, where should I find him? The whole scheme was wildly fantastic. It had no place in this logical world.
Aunt Maud’s influence on the house was very marked. Its furniture was highly polished. Floors shone, brass gleamed and everything, however small, was in the place designed for it. Daily she went to the kitchen to consult Mrs. Harlow on meals and both Mrs. Harlow and Mr. Dolland had assumed a new dignity; and even Meg and Emily did their work in a more orderly fashion-not cutting it short to sit over meals and listen to Mr. Holland’s discourse on the old days of the drama; and I was sure that if they did indulge in this diversion, they would be interrupted by an imperious ringing, and Mr. Dolland would have to leave his performance to don his black coat to make his ceremonial appearance above stairs.
I think I minded it more than they did. We had all been so happy-go-lucky in the past, but I came to realize that good servants prefer a well-run house to a happy one.
I often found Aunt Maud watching me speculatively. I knew that in due course I should be dragooned into her scheme of things, and in Aunt Maud’s eyes there would be only one course to pursue since I was a young and nubile woman: marriage. These dinner parties she had hinted at would have a definite purpose: the search for a suitable husband for me. I pictured him: earnest, slightly balding, learned, erudite, perhaps a professor who had already made his mark in the academic world. Someone rather like James Grafton only not so attractive.
Perhaps he would be attached to the British Museum or Oxford or Cambridge. It would keep me in the circle in which my family moved.
Aunt Maud might think my father was absentminded and I gathered that she had had little respect for my mother as a housewife, which was the reason why we had seen so little of her during my mother’s lifetime -but he was well respected in his profession and therefore it would be wise for me to marry into it. I was sure she felt that, schooled by her, unlike my mother, I might make a professor’s wife and a good housewife at the same time.
She would preside over the affair and therefore it would be conducted in the most orthodox manner. Aunt Maud hated to waste anything including time. I believed that, but for my strange adventure, operations would have been commenced long ago. As it was, I was allowed a little respite.
The doctor had evidently warned Aunt Maud that I must be treated with a certain care. The ordeal through which I had passed must not be forgotten and I needed time to rehabilitate myself to a civilized way of life in my own way. Aunt Maud followed his instructions with brisk efficiency, and my father did the same, remaining aloof. Mrs. Harlow did so by making sure that I was comfortably seated and speaking to me rather as she used to when I was five years old. Even Mr. Dolland lowered his voice and I would find Meg and Emily regarding me with awe struck
wonder.
Only once did my father refer to the shipwreck. He told me how they had been caught up in a crowd going for the boats. They had wanted to wait for me, to go back and find me . but one of the officers had taken their arms and more or less forced them to go with the crowd.
“We thought you would join us at any minute,” he said piteously.
“It was such chaos,” I said.
“It couldn’t have been other wise.”
“I lost your mother while they were pushing us into the boats …”
“We mustn’t brood on it,” I said.
“If you hadn’t gone back for those notes we should all have been together …”
“No … no. You and my mother were parted … so should we have been.”
He was so distressed that I knew we must not speak of it. He must try to forget, I told him.
All this affected me deeply, and I felt a great desire to escape, to go down to Cornwall, to find Perrivale Court and to begin the impossibe task of finding out what really happened. I needed time. I needed a plan. I wanted desperately to take some action, but I was not sure how to begin.
I went down to the kitchen to try to recapture the spirit of the old days. I asked Mr. Dolland for “To be or not to be’ and the speech before Harfleur. He obliged, but I fancied he lacked his previous flair and they were all watching me rather than Mr. Dolland.
I said to him: “Do you remember … just before I went away … there was a murder case?”
“What was that, Miss Rosetta? Let me see. There was that man who married women for their money.”
“And then done ‘em in,” added Mrs. Harlow.
“I wasn’t thinking of that. I mean the case of those brothers … one of them was shot in an empty farmhouse. Didn’t someone run away?”
“Oh, I know the one you mean. It was the Bindon Boys case.”
“Yes, that’s the one. Did you ever hear what happened?”
“Oh … the murderer got away. I don’t think they ever caught him.”
“He was smarter than the police,” added Mrs. Harlow.
“I remember now,” said Mr. Dolland.
“It all comes back to me. It was Simon Perrivale … adopted when he was a child. He shot the brother.
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