My father was bitterly disappointed and how right he was. Poor Steve. He tried. He had a job in a foundry. We had very little money.
I soon found out I’d made a terrible mistake. We had been married just over a year when Steve was killed. There was a terrible accident at the foundry. I must have been very callous, because the first thing I thought was that I was free.
“And then … I got a job with a dance troupe. We toured the London music halls. Sometimes there was work … sometimes not. I dreamed of meeting someone … a rich man who would carry me away to luxury. It became an obsession. There was one … I believed him. He promised to marry me, but when I became pregnant with Kate, he went off and I never saw him again. I had made a mess of everything. And when Tom Parry came along he was very keen to marry me and because of the child I took that way out. I seemed then to have a talent for landing in desperate situations. I had gone from bad to worse. I grew to hate him.”
She closed her eyes as though she were trying to shut out memories.
“Rosetta, it was terrible. Those awful rooms. I used to dread those times when he came home from sea. He drank a great deal. After Kate was born I went back to the troupe. I had the idea that if I could keep myself we’d get away. I used to have to leave Kate alone. I didn’t get back until late. Then my father came out of the Army … disgraced. But it was better when he was there. He had some money which he had saved. I felt a lot happier then. But there was Tom coming home. I was thankful that his leaves were not frequent. Kate was growing up and there came a time when I could endure it no more.
We would have to find a better way of life for her if not for ourselves, my father said . “He had the idea that we would go to Cornwall. He remembered Jessica Arkwright who had become Lady
Perrivale. She had been a friend of my mother and according to what I had heard Jessica had at one time been very fond of my father.
“We’d get right away, he said. But we had to plan carefully. We had to make sure that Tom Parry would not find us. I would change my name.
I’d be Mrs. Blanchard. That did not bother me. I’d had three different names already. Instead of Mabel Parry I’d be Mirabel Blanchard. So . that was how we came here.
“Everything was different. Lady Perrivale was very friendly. She made a great fuss of me and both the brothers liked me. My father was eager for me to marry Cosmo. It was like a fantastic dream to him. I would become the lady of the manor. I should have a title when Sir Edward died … It was all wonderful. There was, of course, Tom Parry. My father said we must forget all about him. It must be as though he had never existed.”
“And you could agree to that?”
She nodded.
“I was desperate. I would have done anything in order to get away from him … Then he came down here looking for me. I did believe that he fell to his death. He always drank too much, so it seemed reasonable, I would never have believed … my father … could have done that. He was always so kind and gentle. Everybody said so.”
“I know,” I said.
“Even then, I spoiled things. You see, it was always Tristan I loved.
He was the only one. There had been Steve Tallon, Tom Parry and Cosmo.
It had to be right next time. He felt the same about me. We couldn’t help it. We loved each other. Then I became pregnant and I went to that dreadful nursing home. My father arranged it-he knew the woman who ran it. But Cosmo found out about Tristan and me. He had a violent temper, he was arrogant and vindictive. He could not bear to think that we had deceived him. He threatened to ruin us. He would get Tristan cut off without anything. We could marry if we wanted to and get out. I told my father. Then . it happened . “
I was sorry for her. She had suffered enough. I hoped she would be happy with Tristan.
“I cannot believe my father did all those wicked things,” she said.
“He stole … he cheated … I understood that in a way. But that he should commit murder … All I know is that he was the kindest of fathers to me. He started with nothing. He spent all his life trying to get what he called a place in the sun. He said he didn’t want to be out in the cold all his life. That was what he was doing … finding a place in the sun … for me … for Kate … and himself. And when he thought he had found it … when it was about to be snatched away from him … You see, don’t you? You see how it happened?”
I said: “Yes. I see.”
Our friendship grew. We talked a good deal about Kate. I said that Kate had been lonely. She had behaved badly in order to call attention to herself. She was asking to be noticed . to be loved.
“Yes,” replied Mirabel.
“I was so involved with my own affairs, I neglected her.”
“She admired you. But, you see, she was alone in that room when she was a child. Frightened at night… thinking nobody wanted her.”
“It is difficult to explain to a child.”
“She must have been terrified when Tom Parry came home. She needed comfort… assurance.”
“My father gave her that.”
I agreed that that was so.
“And now she has lost him,” I said.
“We must remember that. We must be very gentle with her.”
“Thank you for what you have done,” she said with real feeling.
What had I done? I had uncovered the truth, and my actions were responsible for the present situation.
Kate did not mention her grandfather to me. I wondered how much she understood of what was going on. We continued our lessons. We read a great deal. The mischief had gone out of her. She was subdued a sad little girl.
The will was read. It was found in the Bible which Sir Edward kept by his bed. I wondered why no one had thought of looking there before. It was as we had thought. He had written a letter telling of his previous marriage and naming Simon as his heir. Tristan was left comfortably off but the title and the house would go to Simon.
Lucas and I met often in the inn parlour of The Sailor King. I wondered how I could have lived through those melancholy months without him.
There was a certain tension between us. These were the waiting months.
We knew something had to happen before too long and we were waiting for it.
Dick Duvane was in Australia and on the trail. But now the lawyers had taken over. They wanted to find Simon Perrivale and bring him back to England so that the estate might be settled. They advertised in papers all over Australia; no place, however remote, was left out; no possibility was forgotten.
I began to wonder whether he would ever come home. He might not have reached Australia. Something might have happened to him. Nanny Crockett was sure he would come back. She prayed every night that he would do so . soon.
And then . it was six months after I had almost lost my life in the copse . there was news. Dick Duvane had written home. He had found Simon living on a property just outside Melbourne. Simon was coming home.
There was a letter to me.
Dear Rosetta, Dick has told me all you have done. I shall never forget it. Lucas too, Dick says. Both of you have done so much for me. I have often thought of you and now I am coming home. Soon I shall be with you.
Tristan and Mirabel went to the station to meet his train. Mirabel had suggested that I might accompany them, but I did not want our first encounter to take place in public. I guessed there would be several people at the station to give him a welcome, for it was well known that he was coming home.
I went to my room and waited. I knew that he would come to me soon, and, like me, he would want our meeting to take place in private.
He stood in the doorway. He had changed. He seemed to have grown taller; he was bronzed with the antipodean sun; his eyes seemed a brighter blue.
He held out his hands.
“Rosetta,” he murmured. He looked searchingly into my face.
“Thank you for what you did.”
“I had to do it, Simon.”
“I thought of you all the time.”
There was silence. It was as though there was a restraint between us.
So much had happened to him . and to me . I supposed we had both changed.
“You … you are well?” I asked. It sounded banal. Here he was, standing before me, glowing with health. We had both passed through some horrific adventures and I asked him if he were well!
“Yes,” he said.
“You … too?”
There was another pause.
Then he said: “So much has happened. I must tell you about it.”
“Now that you are home … everything will be so different for you.”
“Just at first it doesn’t seem quite real.”
“But it is, Simon. You’re free now.”
And, I thought, I am free, too. Once I was a prisoner within the walls of the seraglio and when I escaped I built a wall about myself . a seraglio of my own making. My jailer this time was not the great Pasha but my own obsession. I did not see what was clear about me because I could only see one thing-a dream which I had built up, forming it to fit my fantasy . blind to the truth.
He was saying: “And it was you who did it, Rosetta.”
“I was helped by Nanny Crockett … by Lucas … by Felicity. They did a great deal… particularly Lucas.”
“But it was you … you were the one. I’ll never forget.”
“It’s wonderful to know it is over … it worked. And now you are here free.”
It was wonderful, I assured myself. It was my dream come true. I had waited a long time for this meeting . dreamed of it . lived for it and now it was here, why must it be tinged by sadness? I was overexcited, over-emotional, of course. It was only natural.
Simon said: “We’ll talk… later. There’s so much to say.”
“Yes,” I said.
“We’ll talk about it… later. Just now … it seems too much. And people will be waiting to see you. They’ll want to talk to you.”
He understood.
It was true there were many people waiting to see him. His vindication had been much publicized. He was the hero of the day. Although it was some time since his innocence had been made known, his return to England revived interest in the case. So many people wanted to talk to him, to congratulate him, to commiserate with him on all his sufferings. I was glad that he was so occupied. He was different, of course. Sir Simon Perrivale now, no longer humble deck hand, castaway, man on the run.
The first night I dined with the family.
“We thought you’d want to be quiet,” said Tristan to Simon.
“Just the family. Later, I dare say you’ll be inundated with invitations and it might be difficult to refuse some. We shall have to invite people here .”
“It will pass,” said Simon.
“And quickly. I shall be a nine days’ wonder.”
The talk at dinner was mainly about Australia. Simon was enthusiastic.
I could see that. He had acquired a small property.
“Land goes cheap out there,” he said.
“I got quite excited about it.”
I saw him there, working, making plans for a new life . thinking he would never come home. But even then I supposed he would have been on the alert, never sure when his past was going to catch up on him.
Now he was free. It was small wonder that he felt a little strange just as I did. It must be a deeply emotional experience for him to come back to the house to which he had been brought up as a frightened little boy . the place where he had experienced the horror of being accused of murder.
Lucas came over the next day. He, too, had changed. He reminded me very much of the man I had first met at the house of Felicity and James. There was, of course, the limp, but even that was scarcely perceptible. He seemed to have regained that nonchalance . that rather cynical attitude to life.
Simon said: “I have to thank you for what you did for me, Lucas.”
“Small payment for a life, and I should have said goodbye to mine if you hadn’t hauled me into the boat and looked after me when I was a burden to you. In any case, what I did was under Rosetta’s orders.”
“It wasn’t like that, Lucas,” I protested.
“You were eager to do everything you could.”
“Thank you, Lucas,” said Simon.
“Just at first it doesn’t seem quite real.”
“But it is, Simon. You’re free now.”
And, I thought, I am free, too. Once I was a prisoner within the walls of the seraglio and when I escaped I built a wall about myself . a seraglio of my own making. My jailer this time was not the great Pasha but my own obsession. I did not see what was clear about me because I could only see one thing a dream which I had built up, forming it to fit my fantasy . blind to the truth.
He was saying: “And it was you who did it, Rosetta.”
“I was helped by Nanny Crockett … by Lucas … by Felicity. They did a great deal… particularly Lucas.”
“But it was you … you were the one. I’ll never forget.”
“It’s wonderful to know it is over … it worked. And now you are here free.”
It was wonderful, I assured myself. It was my dream come true. I had waited a long time for this meeting . dreamed of it . lived for it and now it was here, why must it be tinged by sadness? I was overexcited, over-emotional, of course. It was only natural.
Simon said: “We’ll talk… later. There’s so much to say.”
The first night I dined with the family.
“We thought you’d want to be quiet,” said Tristan to Simon.
“Just the family. Later, I dare say you’ll be inundated with invitations and it might be difficult to refuse some. We shall have to invite people here .”
“It will pass,” said Simon.
“And quickly. I shall be a nine days’ wonder.”
The talk at dinner was mainly about Australia. Simon was enthusiastic.
I could see that. He had acquired a small property.
“Land goes cheap out there,” he said.
“I got quite excited about it.”
I saw him there, working, making plans for a new life . thinking he would never come home. But even then I supposed he would have been on the alert, never sure when his past was going to catch up on him.
Now he was free. It was small wonder that he felt a little strange just as I did. It must be a deeply emotional experience for him to come back to the house to which he had been brought up as a frightened little boy . the place where he had experienced the horror of being accused of murder.
Lucas came over the next day. He, too, had changed. He reminded me very much of the man I had first met at the house of Felicity and James. There was, of course, the limp, but even that was scarcely perceptible. He seemed to have regained that nonchalance . that rather cynical attitude to life.
Simon said: “I have to thank you for what you did for me, Lucas.”
“Small payment for a life, and I should have said goodbye to mine if you hadn’t hauled me into the boat and looked after me when I was a burden to you. In any case, what I did was under Rosetta’s orders.”
“It wasn’t like that, Lucas,” I protested.
“You were eager to do everything you could.”
“Thank you, Lucas,” said Simon.
“You’re embarrassing me,” replied Lucas.
“So let’s forget it. Too much gratitude embarrasses the one who gives it and the one who takes it.”
“Nevertheless it’s there, Lucas,” I put in.
He did not stay long.
“Good old Lucas!” said Simon.
“He doesn’t really change much.”
“No,” I said, trying to smile brightly.
I kept thinking of Lucas. In fact, I could not stop myself thinking of him. He had truly loved me. He had helped bring back Simon . he had given Simon to me. That was true love, I supposed.
A few days passed. There was much coming and going at the house. Kate was subdued. She did not ask question
s, but I could see she was watching Simon and me closely.
Since the death of her grandfather, she had changed a great deal; she had loved him so deeply; she had admired him so much. looked up to him, the Major of the Guards who, she had once told me, had been the bravest man in the Army, the hero of every battle. It must have been a terrible shock to her. I knew that she would have learned a great deal about him, though she never spoke of him. She relied on me more than ever, I believed; and she was looking anxiously into the future.
Simon talked to me more freely now. We seemed to have recovered from that first restraint.
“Tristan is just made for this place,” he said.
“He and Cosmo, they were brought up to believe it would be theirs. I never felt like that.
I think poor old Tristan would be broken-hearted if he had to go away from here. “
“Couldn’t he stay? There’s plenty to do.”
“But he thought the place was his. He had complete control. It’s a difficult situation. Do you know, I think I might go back to Australia. I could get a big property out there . I could have people working for me. I wonder . what you’d think of the place? “
I thought: It’s coming. At last he is going to ask me. That thought was immediately followed by another: Australia? I should never see Lucas again.
He saw the look in my eyes. He said: “It was a dream of mine … all that time. I’d make a go of it and somehow I’d get a message to you.
I’d ask you to come out and join me. We forget. people change.
We’re apt to think they go on just the same . I always thought of you as you were on the island . and when I left you outside the Embassy You’re different. “
I said: “You’re different too, Simon. Life changes people. So much happened to me … after. So much happened to you.”
“You couldn’t leave England,” he said.
“You couldn’t now. Perhaps if we had gone together then, it might have been different. What you want is here. You will have to do what is best for yourself. We mustn’t either of us blind ourselves to our romantic and adventurous past.
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