by Hannah Pearl
They’d given up trying in the end and busied themselves in their careers. Dad had taken over running the bakery and Mum had set up a studio for her painting in the attic. I don’t think they wanted to be apart even for the length of a working day. They’d adopted a couple of puppies, and though they were sad to not have kids, they were happy to be together. Mum was four months pregnant before they realised that it was actually happening. Apparently when they found out they were having twins my dad didn’t speak for several days. She’d told me that story many times when I was tiny, and I’d always hoped that it meant he was just excited. Mum’s heart had given out when we were six. Dad hadn’t spoken for a week after she died. And even now, twenty years on, he never smiled in the same way as I remembered him doing before.
He’d never baked again either. The house had been paid for many generations before I was born, and he’d got some insurance money to live on, so he’d closed the shop, claiming that he needed the time to look after me and Ben. I think he just couldn’t bear to see any of the treats that my mum had loved so much.
The counters had remained empty until one day when I came across their wedding album hidden in a cupboard. It was full of pictures of them staring into each other’s eyes and laughing. I could barely remember a time that dad had seemed that alive. A couple of weeks later I’d cleared the downstairs rooms and launched ‘Romantic Daze’.
I sold all the traditional accoutrements that you would associate with romance, such as luxury toiletries and chocolates. But I prided myself in going the extra mile. If your partner had a taste for a specific wine I would track down an importer and source it. If they liked a particular chocolate I would make up a beautiful gift basket containing it. Where Lily’s shop catered to underwear with strategically placed holes, mine carried a range made of the finest and softest silk.
One of my biggest achievements had been when one of my favourite customers had wanted to find a piece of music that he and his wife had danced to at their wedding sixty years earlier. Very few recordings had survived, and those that did were in pretty bad condition. Eventually I’d hired a team of musicians from the local music college and we’d listened to as many of the recordings of the piece as we could find. The band rehearsed for a month, working out as much as they could from the fragments we could access. I’d booked a table at a local restaurant and briefed the chef to make the same food as the couple had eaten at their wedding reception, and then the band came out and played their song.
A florist friend had recreated their bouquet from a wedding photo which I’d given him, and though they were no longer well enough to travel on a second honeymoon, we’d recreated their trip to Blackpool inside the restaurant with sticks of rock and candy floss. The tip I’d got from my customer for the success had kept me solvent for the next six months, but the joy I’d felt at seeing them so happy together because of my work had lifted my mood for even longer.
I longed to find that kind of love for myself. Some nights I lay awake fearing that I would never find it. Other nights I tossed and turned fearing that either I’d had it already and lost it, or that I had fallen in love with someone who would never love me back as I wanted him to. I was liable to be in an awful mood the day afterwards. Not solely due to the lack of sleep, but also because I’d be fuming with myself for being so weak.
I was stunned out of my reverie by the banging of a small bronze gong, announcing that dinner was to be served. My brother reappeared with a timid looking lady next to him. He introduced her as Erin, a colleague from his office. Her blonde hair, similar in colour to mine and Ben’s, fell in waves to her shoulders, which were raised in tension. She clasped her hands together as she stood beside Ben. Her pink floral dress fell to an unflattering length, ending mid-calf and giving the impression that her legs were both shorter and chunkier than was probably true. But her blue eyes sparkled as she gazed at my brother.
I wanted to take the opportunity to get to know her, not least to ask how she managed to get my brother to ask her out. He didn’t often notice the human interactions going on around him. Unless they impacted on him attempting some complicated technological feat, in which case he was liable to be pretty grumpy. So when he topped her glass up and she blushed when their hands touched, I was really proud of him.
The tables began to fill, and next to me Eli reached into the centre of the table and helped himself to a bread roll. He tore it open and began to cover it with butter. Erin had to stand and lean in to reach the basket, but when she could finally reach she grabbed two and passed one to Ben. I shot Eli a look, and he shrugged at me pretending not to understand. I rose, about to reach across myself and grab a bun, when a hand rested briefly on my shoulder.
‘Allow me, please.’
I turned to see who had spoken. The baritone belonged to an imposing figure of a man. His golden hair was cut short, and his stubble was almost the same length. His blue eyes sparkled in the candlelight, and his shirt was stretched tight across his broad shoulders. He stood and picked up the basket, which he held out to offer me the contents.
‘Thank you,’ I said, as I helped myself.
‘I’m Taylor,’ he said, reaching his broad arm out to offer me his hand to shake. He didn’t explain if that was his first name or his surname, and I didn’t know how to ask, so I took his hand, mine feeling tiny by comparison, and made to shake it, before he gently drew my wrist towards him and kissed the back of my hand. I could sense Eli glaring at me. I ignored him.
Taylor let go of my hand eventually and walked around the table to take the empty chair next to Erin. Even seated, it was easy to see how much taller Taylor was than Eli. Maybe he felt jealous. It wouldn’t do Eli any harm to be brought down a peg or two, though. I leaned back to look past Taylor, meaning to check if he had also brought a date. He must have read my mind. ‘I came alone,’ he reassured me. ‘And you? Are you a friend of the bride or the groom?’
‘Neither,’ I said, before realising that I should probably explain why Eli was sat beside me shooting daggers at Taylor with his smoky eyes. ‘My brother and his friend work with them. They kindly brought me because they know how much I love weddings.’ I didn’t mention what it was that my brother and Eli did for work. Largely because it was supposed to be a secret, but also because I was never entirely sure of the details. I had once told one of Eli’s prospective hook-ups that he claimed to be a real-life James Bond type, hoping the suggestion of womanising would put her off. But this only seemed to aid his pick-up efforts so I had never repeated it again. Plus Eli had been cross with me for saying so much. Maybe I’d accidentally got too close to the truth.
Waiters began to bustle around the room delivering plates. My starter was placed in front of me. Taylor picked up his knife and fork and began to tuck into his pâtê and crackers. I fussed with my food, arranging and rearranging it until Eli leaned over me, took my plate and scooped the pink quenelle onto his own. He swapped it for his salad and handed it back to me.
‘Clearly my brother forgot to mention to them that I’m vegetarian,’ I explained to Taylor. He nodded in understanding. ‘So what do you do?’ I asked. He began to fidget and finger his burgundy bow-tie. I doubted the fabric had been designed with a neck as broad as his in mind but his discomfort seemed to have more to do with not wanting to answer the question. ‘You work with my brother and Eli, don’t you?’
He nodded and sipped his wine before he whispered quietly out of the side of his mouth, as if he were trying to give away secrets as discreetly as he could despite the hubbub. ‘Do you realise that there are probably dozens of people having similar conversations in this room right now where they attempt not to give away anything they shouldn’t?’ He winked at me as he spoke, and I found myself smiling in return. Next to me Eli huffed audibly as he ate my food.
‘So are you in the computer department with Ben, or the International Relations department with Eli?’ I asked.
‘Ben is the computer department,’ Taylor said, as he took the
bottle of wine and leant across the table to refill my glass.
In no time at all the waiters began to remove the empty side plates and replace them with the main course. When my plate arrived laden with creamy mashed potato, fresh asparagus and the rarest lamb I’ve ever seen outside of those running around a field, I groaned and cursed Ben’s lack of thought. Eli rescued me once more, swapping my lamb for his sides.
‘Aren’t you going to feel ill after a dinner of just meat?’ I asked him.
He washed his mouthful down with a glass of red wine. ‘I’m far too manly for that,’ he said, and began to stare, unblinkingly, at Taylor.
Whilst Eli was often prone to displays of his masculinity, he didn’t usually do so casting me in the role of his femme fatale, and I began to feel uncomfortable. Eli gripped his cutlery hard enough that I could see his muscles bunch beneath his shirt. Finally, I gave a small cough. Taylor broke eye contact, at last, and turned to smile at me.
Eli leant past me to speak to Ben and began to discuss which women he was going to dance with that evening. I felt sorry for Erin, with Eli talking as if she weren’t there, but Taylor successfully kept me distracted when he removed his bow-tie and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt. ‘That’s better,’ he said, and I wondered how constricted his neck had felt.
‘Do you play rugby, by any chance?’ I asked him.
Taylor launched into a long and detailed description of the fitness regime which led to the physique before me. ‘So, are you going to tell me what you do for work now?’ I asked when he finished telling me about the marathon he had recently completed. He shook his head. ‘Because if I knew you’d have to kill me?’ I asked.
‘Nothing so clichéd,’ he replied. ‘But if you were ever to find yourself in need of bodily protection, give me a call.’
Chapter Two
As the last of the dishes were cleared from our table, Taylor pushed back his chair and asked me to dance. We made our way through the crowds of guests out of the dining room, with its brocade curtains and mahogany window frames. We passed through the grand entrance, with its sweeping staircase and chandeliers, which gave way to an even more impressive ballroom. A Christmas tree bigger than any I had seen outside of Trafalgar Square twinkled with so many fairy lights that they could have lit up my entire flat.
A four-piece band finished their warm-ups in the corner and launched into a rendition of Louis Armstrong’s ‘Wonderful World’, as the groom led his bride onto the floor for their first dance. By the time they finished I was blinking back tears and excused myself to use the bathroom before Taylor noticed. Inside, I took a minute to use the facilities and pull myself together. Then I did what I always did in a time of emotional crisis and rang Lily.
‘How’s the wedding?’ she asked as she answered her phone.
‘Beautiful,’ I sighed. ‘Her dress is ivory lace, with the most fabulous train I’ve ever seen. And her bouquet has roses of the same colour, shot through with pearls. I think I’ll have to see if I can offer something similar for Valentine’s Day.’
‘Sounds perfectly lovely, if you go for that kind of thing,’ Lily said. ‘I’d have gone for red, myself.’
‘Because you make up in vitality what you lack in subtlety,’ I told her, ‘and I love you for it.’
‘It sounds quiet for a wedding. I don’t hear any music in the background there.’
‘I’m ringing from the loos,’ I explained.
‘You don’t need to call me every time you spot a machine selling lube,’ she said. ‘They’re not going to put me out of business, I promise.’
‘I only did that once.’ I laughed. ‘Or maybe twice.’ I fell silent for a moment.
‘So how come you’re hiding out in the bogs?’ Lily asked. ‘I thought you’d be happy to be there. You look at weddings the same way I look at a fabulous handbag, or a new vibrator. We just got this one in stock that has—’
‘Lily!’ I shouted, ‘I don’t want to know.’
‘It might relax you.’
‘I prefer my—’ I paused to think of the correct word ‘—entertainment, to come with a heartbeat, and not batteries.’
She sniffed at my lack of willingness to try new things. ‘So how is Eli behaving this evening?’
‘Like he’s in heat,’ I told her.
‘So what’s new?’
‘He’s acting that way towards me. Usually it’s me admiring him from a distance, and kicking myself for it. I don’t know how to react now he’s paying attention in return. It makes me feel like I’m …’
‘Dinner, and he’s hungry for you?’ Lily suggested.
‘That’s disgusting.’
‘Only if he does it wrong. I sell a DVD that could teach him what to do.’
‘He already knows,’ I told her, sighing as I remembered how skilled he’d been, even ten years previously. ‘But I met this hulk of a man at dinner. You’d love him, Lily. He’s twice your size, easily, and I reckon I could see his six-pack through his shirt. He’s waiting for me to dance.’
‘So go and dance with him. Make Eli good and jealous. I need to go anyway. One of my regulars went into the changing room with a new corset half an hour ago and I can hear strange noises. Either he’s stuck, or he’s already enjoying it way too much. Either way, he’s not leaving without paying for it.’ She hung up before I could ask her whether it mattered that despite Taylor being gorgeous, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to dance with him.
I gave my hair a quick flick to add some volume, slicked on some more lip gloss and left the room. I was about to head back to the ballroom when I heard my name being called. Turning around, I found Eli lounging against the wall next to the ladies.
‘I think the bathroom you need is just up the stairs,’ I told him, pointing to where the gents were located.
‘Don’t fall for Taylor,’ he said, with no preamble.
‘I don’t see that it’s any of your business.’ I made a move to pass him and head back to the music. He grabbed my arm and I tugged it away angrily. ‘You have no right to tell me who I can go out with,’ I told him. ‘You threw that privilege back in my face years ago. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to dance with a man who does want to be with me.’
‘He wants to be with lots of women,’ Eli explained.
‘Which is so different to your approach?’ I scoffed.
‘He isn’t right for you.’
‘I’m old enough to find that out for myself.’ I walked off, my heels beating out a staccato on the tiled floor.
Taylor greeted me at the entry to the ballroom with a kiss on the cheek and a fresh glass of champagne. I noticed Eli making his way back into the room, flirting outrageously and laughing as women stroked his arm or touched his cheek. I emptied the glass and placed it back on the tray of a passing waiter. ‘Will you dance with me?’ I asked Taylor. The room was beginning to spin around me anyway, I might as well be turning with it. Either that or slow down on the drinking, which would be hard with Eli acting the way he was around me.
Taylor swept me into his arms and twirled me around the dancefloor. He was surprisingly elegant for such a big man, and I felt weightless as he held me. The hour grew late, and the band switched to slower numbers. I excused myself and sat to catch my breath, smiling as I saw Erin lead Ben onto the dancefloor. It wasn’t his natural environment, and he was out of time with the music, but they both looked radiant as they swayed together. At least until Eli interrupted.
I couldn’t hear his words from across the crowded room, but I could see him pointing at himself and Ben and then back to a pair of young women in skirts far too short to be polite for a wedding who were stood at the bar.
Ben shook his head, but Eli gestured some more. Eventually Ben whispered something in Erin’s ear and followed Eli meekly towards the girls. I was about to go over and help my brother. It was clear to me who he wanted to be with, even if his best friend couldn’t see it, but I was distracted by Taylor. He asked me if I wanted one last dance, an
d as Eli was leaning in to the tall blonde girl, I took Taylor’s hand and walked with him back onto the dancefloor.
The final number was slow and tender, and I found myself pressed against Taylor’s chest, my hands around his waist, as we moved. The band finished playing, and we all stopped to applaud them. Taylor’s eyes raised to the ceiling, and I saw that we had come to a stop underneath a bunch of mistletoe that was strung up above.
I hadn’t decided if I wanted to kiss him, but it seemed rude to leave him hanging, so I closed my eyes and leaned forward. Just as our lips were about to touch, I was pulled away yet again.
‘Ben!’ I shouted. ‘That was rude, even for you.’
‘I need to go into work,’ he said, ignoring how cross I was with him. ‘Erin just called to say that there is a problem with the servers and they need me to fix it. She’s driving me in her car. Our cab is due in a minute anyway so I asked Eli to make sure you get home safely.’
‘I’m a big girl,’ I told him. ‘I can get home by myself.’
‘I promised Dad I’d look after you,’ he said, blinking behind his glasses.
‘And I promised that I’d look after you,’ I added, completing our family motto. I kissed his cheek and told him to be safe. He ran his hands through his hair, ensuring that any last vestige of its previous styling was gone, and made his way out of the front door.
I turned back to Taylor. Though the mood for a kiss was undoubtedly broken we were still stood underneath the mistletoe. Eli was next to him, shoulder to shoulder. Well, Taylor’s shoulder to somewhere near the top of Eli’s head anyway. Taylor’s breadth contrasted with the compact power promised by the energy that seemed to be humming through Eli. I looked from one to the other. Finally Taylor took a half step back and bowed to me. ‘I’ll ring you?’ he asked waiting for me to nod before turning and leaving. I hadn’t given him my number but he worked with Ben and Eli. He would have methods to find it now that I’d told him it was okay to do so.