by J. E. Park
It was an epiphany. I was a violent man among violent men. It needed to end, and I was certain that I could never do that while living in the Philippines. I could not work alongside Olongapo Earp and the officers who were probably still torturing confessions from my would-be assassins up in the hills.
“Congratulations. You’re in the big leagues now.”
No. People tried to kill me. I had to shoot a kid in the head to defend my own life.
“… the big leagues...”
It’s all escalating. It’s already gone way too far and is only getting worse. I’m done. I need to put some distance between Darrow and me. I need to cut ties with Sergeant Tejada and the Philippines. That means with Tala. And Mari, too. It’s for their own good as well as mine.
“… the big...”
Goddammit! Stop it! I don’t want to be in any ‘big leagues!’
“Petty Officer Murphy,” I heard an unwelcome voice from behind me say. “What are you doing here?”
*****
Startled, I spun around and found myself facing Lieutenant Krause. “What am I doing here? I’m staying out this way. What are you doing here?”
My lieutenant glowered at me. “Confirming my suspicions. What do you know about what happened here last night?”
“I heard a cop got shot.”
“Quit talking to me like I’m an idiot, Murphy!” Krause barked. For a man who prided himself on being a church-going teetotaller, I noticed that he was awfully unsteady on his feet. “It was not ‘a’ cop that got shot! It was Darrow’s buddy! The same guy who was with you two in Pagsanjan!”
“Oh yeah?” I took a menacing step toward the officer. “And how would you know about that?”
“It’s in the newspaper!”
“No, not who got shot. How did you know that we were in Pagsanjan…sir?” I spat out the “sir” not in deference to Krause’s rank, but in contempt of it. “Did you see us out there, you sick son-of-a-bitch?”
“You better watch yourself, petty officer,” the lieutenant growled. “Or…”
“Or what? What do you think you’re going to do? Run and tell the captain we almost caught you with your pam-pam? Or is it a pom-pom? You got yourself a little boy, Lieutenant?”
I was well within my division officer’s personal space now. I stood a full head taller than he did, and all things being equal, I could have broken him in pieces if I wanted to. The only thing that would have stopped me was the difference in rank between us. Hitting him would have been fatal for me. Getting him to hit me would have solved a lot of our problems, though.
For a moment, I thought that Krause might take the bait, but he didn’t. It was not out of cowardice, either. Not this time. The man leaned forward to meet me and snarled, “You think you know what you’re doing here, Murphy? Do ya? Well, let me tell you something, you dumb fucker. You don’t know a damn thing! Men like Master Chief Darrow, well, they know how to spot a sucker, and they’ll reel you right in. Getcha to do whatever they want, stick your neck out so that when things go bad, you’re left holding a bag of shit while they come out of it smelling like roses. Like that boy in the Nixie Room that you beat up so bad. Darrow put you up to that, didn’t he?”
“That was self-defense. He came at me with a spanner wrench.”
Krause shook his head, “I don’t care how you doctored it all up; it only matters that you had to face the NIS alone.”
I almost told the lieutenant that it was Darrow who saved my ass, but I bit my tongue in the nick of time. “There was no bag of shit to hold there,” I told him instead.
“Have it your way,” Krause sneered. “Mark my words, Murphy, you’re in a pretty unique position here. You’re working for a master chief who’s practically the Navy’s version of J. Edgar Hoover, and he’s got the protection of the captain somehow. Kid, that ain’t normal. I’ve been in the Navy for more than two decades, and I ain’t never seen shit like this.” The lieutenant's piety seemed to have flown out of the window. He was swearing like the rest of us now.
Krause looked down at the bloodstains on the pavement. “Son, people are actually dying around you and Darrow now. How long do you think you can keep that up? This captain seems to believe all the bullshit the master chief feeds him, but what happens if he’s gone? Do you think the next guy’s going to tolerate stuff like this? People dropping dead around two of his men?”
“The next guy?” I laughed. “Sir, we’ve been over this. The captain extended his tour to take the Belleau Wood to Japan. He’s going to be here a while. If you don’t make full lieutenant on the next advancement cycle, you’ll be forced into retirement. My enlistment is up in twenty-one months. I don’t have to worry about outlasting the captain on this ship. I just have to make it through the next year and outlast you.”
My lieutenant flashed an evil smile. “I take it that you haven’t seen the news back home in a while, have you? You haven’t heard what they’re saying about us?”
“No, I don’t even think I’ve turned on a television since we got here. Why?”
Krause grinned even wider, swaying again as he relaxed and backed up. I could have sworn the man was drinking, but I smelled nothing on his breath. Of course, his eyes were hidden behind his sunglasses, so I could not tell by looking at them, either. Chuckling, the lieutenant refused to answer my question. “Never mind. You’ll find out soon enough.”
As Krause walked away, staggering down Elicano Street back toward the base, he turned and called out, “So! Darrow told you that I was a child molester, eh? Thanks. It helps to know what angle he’s going to try to play.”
*****
When I got back to my apartment, Master Chief Darrow and TJ were already there. Dixie and Bard were not, having been asked to spend a couple of hours in town. They were advised to steer clear of Barrio Barretto, though, where a lot of stuff was going down. “Where were you?” Darrow asked.
“Walking,” I answered. “Thinking. Talking to Krause.”
“Krause?” my master chief asked, sounding concerned. “Where’d you see him at?”
“Up the block. Looking over the crime scene.”
“What for?”
I glared at Darrow. “What do you think? He read TJ got shot and thought it had something to do with you. He knows you and Tejada are tight.” Turning to the sergeant, I asked, “How are you doing, TJ? Are you alright?”
Rico had his right arm in a sling, was doped up on pain pills, and looked like he was ignoring sound medical advice by being there. Still, he said, “I gonna be okay. How ‘bout you?”
“In better shape than you are, I guess. You guys find anything out about last night?”
Tejada nodded. “We pind out pretty much everyt’ing. You know a guy wit da name Danny Paduano?”
I shook my head. “Should I?”
“Unless you dealing drugs, pimping girls, or robbing grocery stores, no. Still, he know all about you. He know you name, where you live, who your girlfriend is, he know a lot about you. You sure you no know dis guy? He got a lot op muscles and a lot op tattoos. He hang around da Blue Shack in Barrio Barretto.”
Now, Tejada was ringing a bell. “The Blue Shack? Danilo? The bouncer?”
TJ chuckled. “Yeah! Danilo Paduano. Everybody call him Danny, dough. You know him?”
“I met him, yeah. He’s the guy that got me all fucked up that night you found me. He introduced me to that drink, Bullfrog.”
“Yep. He did. He had da bartender, another prick named Nino, drug it too. You weren’t drunk when I pind you, Doyle. You was doped up! Dey was takin’ you to da slums and dey’s gonna slit your throat! You know why?”
My mind was spinning, but I figured it out. I remembered the other unpleasant encounter I had at the Blue Shack. “Because of someone named Rafaela?”
TJ looked at Master Chief Darrow and said, “You right, Bradley. Dis maddapukka is smart!”
“Let me guess,” I said to Tejada. “Rafaela Green’s related to him somehow.”
&n
bsp; “She sure is,” Master Chief Darrow chimed in. “Her maiden name is Rafaela Paduano. She’s his sister. I filled TJ in on what you did to her husband.”
My stomach turned. “That fucker was pimping his sister?”
Tejada shook his head. “No. He no her pimp. He work as muscle to keep da peace in da bars. Dey both barrio rats dough, Danny and Rafaela. Dey always desperate people. Danny happy when she marry an American and get da hell out op dis place. He very angry and sad when she forced to come back and return to her old lipe as bar girl. My boys hurting him very bad to make him talk. He tell us he drug you. He tell us how dey almost stab you in da fight outside da Pagoda.”
“That was a hit?” I asked, incredulous.
Master Chief Darrow raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, I was surprised by that one, too. They saw us going to the Pagoda and had one of their boys tail us. When we got into that fight, their man saw an opportunity to stick a knife in you. He took it. Paduano was also behind what happened at the Dirty Crow. He was on Magsaysay that morning conducting business and saw you walk by. He had someone fetch a junkie that owed him a lot of cash and offered to erase his debt if he croaked you. Ricky Ibay was trying to kill you that day. Not me.”
Tejada nodded. “Dat right. I see Danny on da street. He walk out op da Scooby Booze bar before Rickie Ibay. I no realize dat dey dere together.”
“Jesus Christ,” I said, pulling out a cigarette. “I survived four attempts on my life? Two of them I didn’t even know about?”
“Yeah, you pretty pucking lucky,” TJ told me. “And good. Last night, dese guys t’inking it may be da last chance to get you. Danny send pive guys wit guns, and you kill two op dem! Shit, I only get one op da puckers, and I started with a gun!”
I shook my head. “I only killed one.”
“Dere t’ree bodies last night.”
I laughed humorlessly. “Yeah, well, the third guy walked into his buddy’s line of fire and got shot by his own man. He must have bled out after he ran away. I can’t claim credit for that one. TJ, was Rafaela in on this?”
Tejada nodded. “Yeah, dis mostly her idea. She begging Danny to kill you.”
I did not really want to know the answer, but I asked the question anyway. “TJ, what did you guys do to Rafaela?”
The sergeant shook his head. “Not’ing yet. We no know where she is. Danny Paduano love his sister very much, Doyle. We hurt him very bad por a very long time. She gone and he die wit no telling us where she go.”
“Is there any chance you could do me a favor, TJ?”
“What?” the sergeant asked.
“Could you guys just let her get away?”
*****
CHAPTER 27
W hen Tejada and Master Chief Darrow left, I went for a walk in the jungle behind the house. Confident that the threat to me had passed, I marched up the hill with a small gardening shovel I found in the courtyard. I needed to get rid of the revolver that my master chief handed to me the night before. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if Darrow or TJ might need it one day, so I treated it like buried treasure.
For the first time, I took a good look at the weapon. It was an old M1917 .45 revolver with the initials “A.J.” carved into the wooden handle. The pistol was a genuine antique. I imagined it had been liberated from the American arsenal when the Japanese overran Luzon in 1942. It had probably been used by everyone from the US Army to the Philippine underworld for decades. Still, it seemed to work just fine and was likely untraceable. I wrapped it in a rag, put it in a plastic bag inside of a cookie tin, then buried it next to a Banaba tree, marking its resting place with a large rock. I made sure it would be easy for me to tell someone where to find it later.
When I got back to our building, I walked across the hall and knocked on Tala’s door. Knowing that I needed to cut ties with the Philippines, I intended to tell her that I was returning to the ship. Continuing to see her after deciding to sever my connections to Olongapo would be unfair. It would be using her for the last couple of days before we pulled out. It would only prolong the pain.
When Tala answered my knock, I started to tell her that I was leaving that night. She dropped her shaking head for a moment, then cut me off before I had a chance to finish. “No, Doyle,” she told me. “You no need to say not’ing more. I know. Dese past days, I very happy. Mari very happy. What we have to do, it going to hurt. It hurt today or it hurt Priday. It no sense to make t’ings hurt now when you still here. Can we go on like we do por two more days? Por Mari? Den hurt apter you ship leave da Philippines?”
After nodding my head, Tala reached out and took my hand. She then led me back to my place, to my bedroom, where we stayed until Mari got home.
The next couple of days were bittersweet. Tala and I stayed in bed while Mari was at school. Both of us tried to wring every last drop out of pretending that we actually had a future. When Tala’s daughter got home, we rallied around her. We treated her to Jollibee, played board games, and did all the silly stuff you do to keep an eight-year-old girl in smiles.
On my last night in Olongapo, after Tala announced that it was time for Mari to go to bed, the little girl looked up at the two of us with glassy eyes. “Can I sleep with you tonight?”
Tala and I looked at each other, and I nodded.
The plan was for us to wait out Mari and carry her back to her room after she fell asleep. That way, Tala and I could enjoy our last night together. Mari outlasted her mother, though, and the two of us ended up whispering to each other until the early hours of the morning. The little girl fell asleep on my right shoulder; her tiny legs draped over my stomach.
I had Tala on one arm, sound asleep, and Mari on the other, snoring softly. It was hot and uncomfortable, yet soothing in a way that I had never experienced before. I spent the entire night that way. Taking it all in, I wondered what it would be like to have something like that every single day.
My eyes never closed. I watched the geckos run the walls and listened to the sounds of the jungle filter in through my bedroom window. I spent the night reflecting on the month that had been. I could not believe what I had seen and done. I got to be a part of history, a crew member of the last US Navy warship to dock in Subic Bay. I saw some of the most beautiful girls in the world. I celebrated with policemen and had my past come back to haunt me in a way that nearly cost me my life.
As I thought of that, I wondered where Rafaela Green and her son were that night. Even though that woman wanted me dead, I hoped they were safe. I wanted nothing more than for her and Manny to be able to get past what I had done to them and somehow find peace. I wondered if they could escape into the countryside. There they could disappear under the protection of some old bandit like Paco Villa.
I caught myself smiling as I thought of Paco and of Master Chief Darrow discovering that he had a son. Never in a million years would I have ever seen myself breaking bread with communist revolutionaries. Nor being the target of underworld gunmen in the alleys of a Third World country. Christ, the Philippines was a trip.
Eventually, the sky outside became a little less dark, and I caught myself staring at Tala beside me. I was cognizant once again, and grateful, that I had not experienced one of my episodes since we had gotten together. In the past two weeks, I saw a man get shot through the throat and I killed a boy who might not even have become a teenager yet. Either one of those events was plenty to keep me up for weeks in nervous meltdowns. Lying there with Tala and her daughter, though, it was as if I had only seen it happen in a movie. I had little connection to it. Tala had some sort of power over me that could keep all those demons at bay. I was going to miss that.
Poor Tala. I doubted I had the same effect on her and wondered what would happen to her after I left. I wondered if I would ever find out, if I would ever hear from them again.
Inevitably, the sun broke through my window and put down the sounds of the nocturnal rainforest. As much as I wanted to stay right where I was, I had to get back to the ship for the mo
rning muster. I turned my face and kissed Mari on the top of her head. “Hey, little one,” I whispered to her. “I need you to give me my arm back. I have to go check in.”
Mari shot upright as if propelled by a bolt of electricity. Her eyes were wide open and full of distress. “It’s morning?” she gasped, looking surprised.
“Yes, it’s morning.”
The little girl’s face contorted in grief. She then fell onto my chest, wrapping her arms around my neck and crying out, “Oh no! No! Nonononono! Noooo!”
*****
Our liberty expired at 19:00. I was packed up and settled with the rent by noon. Dixie and Bard left to embark upon one last blowout before returning to the ship. I stayed behind to be with Tala and Mari. At four o’clock, I took one last look around the courtyard and told the girls that I had to leave. Mari broke down again and threw her arms around my neck, not letting me go until almost five. When she finally did, she kissed me on the cheek, told me that she would write to me, then ran to her room sobbing.
When Tala and I were alone, I reached into my pocket and pulled out an envelope containing more than seven hundred dollars. Handing it to Mari’s mother, I said, “I emptied out my bank account back on the ship this morning. That’s everything I have. Please use it to…”
Tala stepped back and rubbed her arms as if she felt dirty, shaking her head. “No. No, Doyle. Not prom you. I no take you money. I no want it. All I ever want prom you is time.”
I was going to insist that she take it, but I could see by the look on Tala’s face that she never would. By accepting my cash, it would make me another one of her customers. It seemed like she needed to see me differently. I put the envelope back in my pocket and looked at my watch again. “Time,” I choked. “Tala, I’m out of it. I have to go.”
Reaching up to grab the sides of my head, Tala pulled me in and kissed me harder than she ever had before. When she let me go, she said, “I write you, too.” She then turned her back on me, running up the steps to comfort her daughter. I hoped that Mari would be able to comfort her back.