“Okay?” he asked quietly.
I nodded. “Okay.”
He smirked. “Gimme a minute, and you’re gonna be saying words a lot better than okay.”
“You’re such a cocky ahh—” My insult was cut off when he pushed all the way in, filling me in ways that had never been done before.
The throbbing I felt turned into a new kind of pain. A good pain.
Jimmy held himself there, unmoving.
“Fuuuuck.” He dropped his forehead to mine, his breathing ragged. “Am I hurting you?”
I let out whimper as my body got used to his size.
“It does hurt,” I admitted. “But it feels really good, too.”
“Good,” he grunted. “Because you feel amazing.”
A bit of self-consciousness seeped in. Jimmy said I was in charge, but there was one problem with that.
“I don’t know what to do next,” I confessed in a whisper.
“You don’t have to do anything,” he told me. “Just let me show you how good it can be. Let me show you what it’s supposed to feel like. Keep your eyes open. Watch me. It’s just me.”
“I’ll always know it’s you,” I responded, rubbing my thumb over his bottom lip.
Mouth parting, Jimmy sucked in a breath as he looked down at me with an indescribable expression. Something close to awe. Then his tongue slipped out and licked the tip of my thumb.
I surrendered to him, putting my hands up by my head on the pillow. He kissed the corner of my mouth, before linking his hands with mine.
We were as connected as two people could be, but for some reason it didn’t feel like enough. I wanted more.
I greedily squeezed his hands as I rocked my body under his. Jimmy’s responding groan was my reward.
“You love to make me lose control, don’t you,” he accused, his lips brushing against mine with every word.
Nodding, I smiled against his mouth.
Then he began to move.
His tongue stroked against mine in time with the gentle rhythm of his hips. I let out a long, shuddering moan.
I never thought I would describe sex as magical, but that’s what this was. Pure magic.
Sex with Jimmy was an out-of-body experience. I could almost see myself there, pinned beneath his weight, his body like a shelter to my storm. Thoughts of lurking dangers and fears of intimacy scattered like those coins in Beverly’s kitchen the day we met.
Only, I didn’t need to pick up these pieces; I didn’t want them back.
Instead, I let Jimmy replace the vacant space with something that felt a lot like love.
With every thrust, he filled me up, hitting some spot deep inside of me. Every push and pull of his cock ignited nerve endings I didn’t even know I had. The barbell dragged over my inner walls, massaging places I never would’ve been able to reach with my own fingers.
My already-wet center gushed around him, making the slide of skin on skin slicker. Smoother. Even better.
His lips grazed over mine—not quite a kiss—and I caught his lip between my teeth and tugged. He moaned as the motion of his hips faltered.
“You feel so fucking good.” His voice was shaky. “So. Fucking. Good.” Punctuating each word with a thrust, he buried himself deeper.
I tried to keep my eyes open to watch him, but sensation won out and I gave in to it.
I’d never felt more safe in my life than I did right now. Right here. With Jimmy.
Which meant I wasn’t damaged beyond repair. For a long time, I feared that I would never be able to truly enjoy sex. The immense relief over the realization that I wasn’t broken made me emotional.
Much to my horror, I started to cry.
Tears streamed from my eyes, sliding down my temples into my hair. I gasped out a sob, which turned into a hiccup.
“Mack?” Jimmy asked, slowing to a stop. “Shit. I’m sorry, baby.”
His hands left mine and I grabbed his shoulders to keep him from pulling away. “Don’t. Please don’t go. I’m not crying because I’m upset.”
His face softened because he understood what I meant. “You don’t want to stop?”
Shaking my head, I suppressed another hiccup. “No. It feels really good.”
“Better than okay?” he grinned.
I grinned back through watery eyes. “Way better. Sorry I’m such a mess.”
“You’re perfect. Hiccups and all.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “Tell me what to do now.”
From the slightly pained expression on Jimmy’s face, I could see how hard he was trying to restrain himself while he waited for my command.
“Don’t hold back,” I demanded.
Bracing one hand on the headboard above me, he nodded his agreement.
Then he really let me have it—the uninhibited Jimmy.
His lips went to mine and his tongue fucked my mouth in time with hard, deep thrusts. A surprised shout left me at the power of it.
He didn’t let up this time, didn’t hold anything back as he pounded into me over and over again. The sensations were so intense I squirmed, almost trying to get away from it. But if I moved, he moved with me. If I shifted away, he followed.
He was relentless, in the best way possible.
His hand snaked between us and he put pressure on my clit with the pad of his thumb. Sweat slicked our bodies and I couldn’t tell if it was his or mine. Didn’t matter.
I felt something winding up in my center, building, tightening. My legs began to shake. My hands clawed at the sheets. My breaths came out in a series of staggered pants and whimpers.
Heat flooded my cheeks. Not a flush of embarrassment. I was aroused. Needy. So close to getting off.
“Jimmy,” I moaned. “It’s happening.”
He groaned and pushed deeper. “Let me have it, baby.”
His hand went to my hip, anchoring me to the bed as I thrashed under him.
I imagined his cum shooting off inside me, filling me with warmth. I knew it wasn’t rational or responsible, but it turned me on.
I cried out as tremors wracked my body, and I gripped his cock in an orgasm so strong my vision became spotty. I was slightly aware of how loud I was being, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
As the blinding spasms tapered off to erratic flutters, my body went limp and I let out one more moan.
Jimmy gave two more hard thrusts before pulling out.
With a throaty groan, he stroked his dick, spilling jets of cum onto my stomach. Watching him jack himself off made my core clench with another mini-orgasm.
A stillness came over the room, the only sound our ragged panting and pounding hearts.
Our eyes locked.
Both of us wore goofy smiles as Jimmy rested his forehead against mine and we tried to catch our breath. When he leaned over the side of the bed, he came back with his T-shirt and used it to wipe off my belly.
Once I was cleaned up, he tossed it to the floor and fell next to me. “Holy fucking fuck.”
“Uh-huh,” I agreed, still breathless.
Wrapping an arm around my middle, he pulled me flush against his body, then rested his head on my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair as my pulse slowed.
It was a peaceful moment. The most peaceful moment I’d had in years. It was strange how sex—such a mature act—could make me feel innocent again, but it did.
A crack inside my heart had been healed.
At the beginning of the summer I thought I knew what home and happiness felt like, but I was wrong.
Jimmy felt like home now.
And as scary as that realization was, I pushed all fear away because uncertainty didn’t belong here tonight.
Even if this happiness was a temporary reprieve from my solitary existence, I would revel in it for as long as possible.
&n
bsp; CHAPTER 29
JIMMY
Loss of sleep had my feet dragging on the walk to work the next day, but I had zero fucks to give. The bright blue sky and the crisp morning air perfectly reflected my sunny mood.
Last night was the best night of my life.
I’d suffered a lot of hangovers in the past, but none of them were worth it. The high of a great party always came with a low the following day.
Regret. Remorse. Repeat.
But the high of being with Mackenna? It stayed with me and gave me something to look forward to.
I couldn’t wait to see her tonight.
But for now, I had something else to look forward to. Truck driving.
As I approached the shop, I saw the rig sitting out front. Without the trailer attached, it looked a lot smaller. Travis was wiping down the shiny red exterior of the driver’s side, right over the black and white company logo on the door.
Hank and Sons Transport.
Travis finished up just as I made it to the garage. He eyed my coveralls. “You got clothes on under there?”
“Jeans and a T-shirt,” I replied. “Why?”
“You don’t need to wear the uniform on the haul. Gets hot in the truck sometimes. You can hang it up in the office. That’s where we keep the extras.”
Unzipping the front, I shrugged out of the material, then went into the office. Hank was there, punching some numbers into a calculator.
“Where should I put this?” I held up the coveralls.
“Any hook on the wall over there will do.”
I hung it up in between spares belonging to Colton and Hank.
“When you come back tonight—” Hank reached under his desk and slid out a square cardboard box. “—you can use this one from now on.”
When he opened the lid, he pulled out a pair of identical coveralls—all except for the nametag. I swallowed hard at the sight of the embroidery over the left breast pocket.
Jimmy.
I coughed and tried to man up because I wasn’t about to get misty over a damn nametag.
“You didn’t have to do this,” I told him, running my finger over the lettering. “Don’t get me wrong. This means a lot to me, but I hate to make you invest in this when I’m not here for very long.”
Waving his hand, he made a dismissive sound. “You deserve to have one of your own, even if you’re not in it for the long haul. Plus, you’ve been doing one hell of a job. You’ve shouldered a lot of the responsibilities around here. Made my life easier. I’m proud of you, son.”
Ah, shit.
Was the old man trying to make me cry? He was the one who gave me a job when I desperately needed it, and here he was making it seem like I was the one doing him a favor.
Hank made me feel something I hadn’t felt in a long time.
Pride. The kind of pride that made you feel like a better version of yourself. For the first time in a while, I wasn’t the guy who failed.
“Thanks,” I managed gruffly.
“That’s not all I’ve got for you.” He pulled open the top drawer to his desk and grabbed my watch. “Good as new. Sorry it took me a while to get it back to you. It took a lot of tinkering, but I got it to work.”
The time was set correctly and the hands moved around the face. Holding it up to my ear, I listened to the old familiar ticking. A comforting sound.
“This is awesome.” I smiled as I strapped it to my wrist. “Guess I know who to come to if it gives out on me again.”
“I hope you do. I’d love it if you came back to see us, even after you’re a big-shot college student.”
The mention of my impending school year didn’t cause excitement like it used to. In fact, I was surprised when my stomach tightened with dread at the thought of leaving this town, this job, and Mackenna. I shook it off, blaming the weird mood on lack of sleep.
“Oh, by the way,” Hank said, pulling an envelope from the back pocket of his coveralls. “Your paycheck.”
I couldn’t contain the smile on my face as I folded it and stuffed it into my jeans. I was still grinning like a fool when I hopped up into the semi where Travis was waiting.
He looked over at me from the driver’s seat. “Buckle up, Jimmy. Your life’s about to change.”
With a loud rumble, the rig roared to life. Travis was right about the semi having power. I could feel the roaring engine all around me through the seat, through the floorboard.
As we drove away from Tolson, I discreetly pulled the envelope out of my pocket. My first paycheck. There wasn’t a ton left over after Hank deducted what I owed him for my car, but it was more money than I had before.
It was enough to do something that was long overdue—take Mackenna on a real date.
I’d wanted to cover the damages on her car, too, but she wouldn’t let me. Luckily, when I mentioned what happened to Hank, he said it was ‘on the house’ as long as I put in the labor. Said it’d be good practice for me.
And it was good practice. Not only that, but it helped me put my energy into fixing what had been done, instead of having murderous thoughts about some asshole I’d never met.
Memories of the night before flashed through my mind as we made it out onto the interstate. The way it felt to be inside of Mackenna bare was mind-blowing and intense. Sex had never felt like that, and it wasn’t just because we didn’t use a condom.
I could pinpoint the exact moment I fell in love with her. When lust turned into something deeper.
I’ll always know it’s you, she’d said, then she brushed her thumb over my bottom lip.
That one touch.
I felt it all the way to my soul.
If I hadn’t been lying down, it would’ve brought me to my fucking knees.
I wanted to tell her, and I almost blurted out those three words. But telling Mackenna I loved her the first time my dick was inside her seemed like an asshole thing to do.
So I kept my mouth shut and tried to show her instead.
As I moved on top of her, I looked into her eyes and swore I saw the same love reflected back at me.
I was pulled from my daydreaming when some static came through the CB radio, and I went back to appreciating the experience of riding in a semi for the first time.
The four-hour drive flew by as Travis and I listened to music, and talked about everything from our hometowns to our women. He was excited about his wedding and having babies with his wife. Apparently, they planned to start growing their family right away.
Before I knew it, we were at our destination, and Travis was hooking the trailer back up to the rig. He walked me through the process, saying terms like fifth wheel and kingpin. In less than twenty minutes, we were back on the road.
When we stopped at a truck stop down in Effingham, I used the restroom while Travis paid for the fuel. After I came out, I grabbed a Dr. Pepper and a bag of chips from the back of the store.
I was waiting in line to pay when my eyes zeroed in on a small rotating display on the counter. More specifically, a necklace dangling among a wide assortment of jewelry. It caught my attention because it immediately reminded me of Mackenna.
When it was my turn to pay, I toyed with the little purple starfish on the silver chain.
If I bought this for her, was I breaking rule number one? Mackenna said not to get her flowers because it was a waste of money. Did that apply to necklaces, too?
Fuck it.
I just knew she had to have this.
Decision made, I plucked it off the stand and slid it toward the cashier with my soda. Then I pointed at the box of Magnums behind the counter. “Those, too.”
Maybe tonight’s date wouldn’t be a total crapshoot after all.
CHAPTER 30
MACKENNA
On the way to the dress fitting, Beverly gave me a quick rundown of
everyone who would be there.
Brielle was a bridesmaid and she was engaged to Colton, who was Travis’s best man. Ava, Brielle’s daughter, was the flower girl. Travis’s mom, Karen, wasn’t in the wedding party, but she was getting fitted for a special ‘mother of the groom’ dress. Hank was also a groomsman, and Ernie would be walking Angel down the aisle, but they weren’t allowed to come today—because, girls only.
And Beverly was the very proud matron of honor; she reminded me three times during the twenty-five-minute trip.
As soon as I stepped through the door of the small bridal shop, I was bombarded with all the new faces.
Brielle was attractive, with dark hair and brown eyes. She greeted me with a handshake before introducing the equally beautiful four-year-old at her side. In matching pink sundresses, Ava was Brielle’s mini-me.
When Brielle told me how much Colton liked Jimmy, and how things had been easier for Hank and the gang since he started on at the shop, I felt happy and proud.
Because that was my boyfriend.
Ava tugged on my hand and I glanced down at big blue eyes. “Did you know I get to wear a princess dress two times?” She held up two fingers. “One time with Angel, and one time with my mom.”
Brielle mouthed behind her hand, “Flower girl.”
I laughed.
Then I was ambushed by a hug. Wavy blonde hair covered half my face, and I had no other choice but to return the embrace of the affectionate stranger.
When she pulled back, I could only conclude that this was Angel. Her name was fitting. With a cherub-like face, she had large blue eyes and slightly rounded pink cheeks.
“It’s so great to meet you,” she said, bouncing a little from excitement, and her enthusiasm made me grin.
“You too,” I told her. “Beverly has nothing but great things to say about you. In fact, I think she’s trying to set us up right now.”
“Damn straight, I am,” Beverly confirmed. “You two should be friends.”
Angel nodded. “I agree.”
Karen simply introduced herself as ‘the mom’ before putting an arm around Angel, like she was claiming her as her own.
Then Angel clapped her hands. “Everyone is here. Now, who wants to see my dress?”
Dropout (The Good Guys Book 3) Page 19