by J. C. Burke
Georgie's foot was tapping on the sand. 'It's all good. We'll be fine. Bring it on.'
'And anyway,' Kia rocked back and forth, 'the selections are already made, aren't they?'
'Kia, you worry about surfing and we'll worry about the selections,' Jake said. 'Remember, there's a trophy tomorrow for the highest-scoring team.'
As Jake talked, I stared at the scar on my left leg till my eyes almost watered.
The other strange feeling about tomorrow was that I didn't want it to come. I didn't want to wake up tomorrow morning knowing it was the last time I'd wake up with my 'sisters'.
'Micki? You're still looking worried.' Jake pulled at my ponytail. 'Are you thinking tomorrow's conditions could test one of your goals, to see if you are stronger in the bigger waves? You know there'll never be a wave too big for you.'
I knew what Jake meant. We hadn't talked about Dad or anything like that since that time in the board shed. But sometimes he'd give me a smile or a squeeze on the shoulder and that was his way, I guess.
If the surf was big tomorrow I wasn't worried. If Jake wasn't, then why should I be.
Thursday 25 January, 12.39 am: Day twenty-one
Booooooo Hooooooooooooo . . .
Tonight I'm not writing this in the bathroom. I'm sitting around the side of the bungalow facing the ocean. There aren't many stars so I'm under the outside light and still it's hard to see the water but I can smell it and mostly I CAN HEAR IT. It sounds like it's thumping out there on the sandbank. Tomorrow's gonna be BIG! YIKES!!!!!!
I wanted to sit here coz I'm trying to take it all in before it disappears. Rosie taught me to breathe out the bad stuff but here there's soooo much good stuff that I reckon if I breathe in, fill my lungs with it, then it might give me some extra powers to keep going at home.
Sorry, Dad, I feel bad saying it but I don't want to come home. I want to stay here forever.
Australia Day's tomorrow so heaps of parents are coming for the last day to watch the contest and prize-giving. All that stuff. I didn't tell Dad about it. Not that he would've come coz he's just out of hospital and Kia's here and I don't think he'd be comfortable. I don't know if I would, either. Actually, who am I kidding, I KNOW I wouldn't feel comfortable. And maybe Ace would recognise him from that time in Coolum. It was only the other day I remembered Ace was at that contest. I think I get so good at pretending things don't happen that I've even fooled myself coz HOW COULD I FORGET ACE? There were about a hundred cameras clicking at her. I'd been terrified that one of the cameras was going to turn around and start filming my dad.
So Friday night it's only gonna be me, Megan and Carla here. Then Megan'll fly home to Tassie and I'll get on the train, unless I decide to hide under one of the beds. Joke!!! (I think.)
I'm not going to write anything about the selections coz I might vomit over this page. So, refer to the next entry and the first thing you will read is, Micki ————- the Australian Junior Team Training camp. There'll either be a tick or a cross.
The first thing I am gonna do when I get home is ask Cathy from next do or if she can show me how to set up myspace coz Ace is going to forward us all the photos from her phone. I can't wait. That is gonna be da bomb!
We signed the other girls' blue booklets tonight and they signed ours. It was Megan's idea coz she said tomorrow some of us mightn't be talking to each other. But I don't reckon it'll be like that.
Megan wrote, 'Yo Micki, for a little thing you know how to tear it up. Don't let the beasties get you down. Love ya, Megan "Eaglehawk is the greatest break" de Raile.'
Jake's comment said, 'Dear Little Miss Micki, It has been an honour to be your coach and I hope I can have that honour again and again. Rip 'em up – luv Jake da Grump xxx'
It was Georgie's idea that we sign each other's booklets tomorrow morning before we leave the bungalow. Kia said, in that sad-sack voice she gets, 'Is that coz that's the last time we'll be the Starfish Sisters?' But Georgie's exact words back were, 'We'll always be the Starfish Sisters.' I hope that's true. In a way I hope that as much as I hope I get selected for the training team. After being with the girls
'There you are!'
Quickly I closed my book. Too late to hide it as Kia had already spotted it.
'Do you keep a diary?' she asked.
'Yeah.'
'All the time? Or just for while you're here at camp?'
'All the time,' I replied.
Kia sat down on the sand, wrapped her arms around her knees and began to gently rock. 'I couldn't get to sleep. I'm too nervous.'
'Me too,' I said.
'It's dumb in a way 'cause it doesn't really matter how we surf tomorrow. I bet they decided on the training team days ago.'
'But Team Starfish have to win the tag trophy,' I reminded her.
'Yeah, that's true.'
Kia was searching the sky. 'No stars.'
'No stars.'
'Surf 's noisy too,' she added. 'It's going to be big.'
'Real big.'
'Hey, Micki?'
'Yeah?'
'What's wrong with your dad?'
I hadn't seen it coming and she was sitting right next to me.
'Micki?'
An enormous chunky lump of fear and shame and dread and panic wedged itself in my throat. I took a long breath in until I could see my chest rising in front of me, then I swallowed that lump down until it hit my toes.
'My dad has a drug habit.'
'Huh?' Kia frowned. 'Like a drug addict?'
'Yeah,' I answered. 'He's a drug addict.'
I sat there, waiting for Kia to shriek or shout or maybe even slap me across the face for being so disgusting.
She spoke softly: 'Does my dad know?'
'Yes.'
'Is that why your dad goes to hospital?'
'Uh huh.'
'And that's why my dad goes up to your place all the time.'
'Yep,' I said. 'He's been so good to us. He's the best, your dad.'
Kia nodded while a slow smile lit up her face.
'Do you miss your mum, Micki?'
'I hardly remember her.'
'That must be weird.'
I shrugged. 'I don't know any different.'
It was no time to tell Kia how wrong she'd got it with the story about my mum. This was a moment I never would've believed Kia and I could share. But we were. It was special and nothing was worth interrupting it.
After a while, Kia put her arm around my shoulders. We sat there, staring at nothing, listening to the waves crashing at our doorstep.
ACE
'Wake up.'
Something about Georgie's voice made me open my eyes and peer over the sheets.
'You should see the surf,' she said.
'Isn't it the middle of the night?' I croaked.
'It's past five-thirty. It's just really dark out there.'
I sat on the edge of the bed trying to psych myself to move a little further.
'Micki? Kia?' Georgie called softly. 'Wake up.'
I crept across the floor to where the bungalow door was wide open. I didn't even need to go outside to figure what the surf was like. I could hear it like a monster tossing and turning in its bed. It rumbled and crashed as it pounded the sandbank. 'Whoa.'
'Come on,' Georgie beckoned to the others. 'Let's go and check it out.'
Four girls almost screened by the seaspray and mist, tiptoeing down to the surf, still in their pyjamas, would've been a funny sight if anyone had walked by. But no one did. It was so overcast and murky that the dog walkers and runners were probably still in bed. But then they didn't have the day ahead that we did.
'It's a gonna crunch our bones,' Georgie said in a stupid voice.
'It's not that enormous,' Kia answered.
'That's 'cause the tide's low,' I told her. 'You wait till it rises.'
'What time's that?' asked Micki.
'About three o'clock,' I answered.
Yesterday, I'd done my research. I'd read Taylor's report on
the surf conditions and tide. When there was free time after lunch, Georgie and I'd watched two training DVDs then gone for a run.
Georgie had said to me, 'Ace, there are less than two days left, one and a half to be exact. That's only thirty-six hours! Then you can see Jules as much as you like. But now you've got to put him out of your boy-crazy head and focus on Friday. Your surfing's back on track. It's all going your way.'
Jules was out of my head. Well, not completely, that wasn't possible. But I'd pushed him back as far as I could.
She was right too. Focus sat at the front of my brain. If I tipped my head forward I could almost feel the letters pressing against my forehead. Focus.
'Is it low tide now, Ace?' Kia asked.
'It hits rock bottom at eight am.'
'Whoa, check that out.' Georgie pointed to a massive left that was breaking way out near the horizon, where the water was deep. 'Massive.'
'We have a stretch and yoga class first,' said Micki. You couldn't tell if it was a question or statement. She sounded scared.
'We're going to need more than a stretch class today,' Georgie warned.
'Stop it, Georgie!' Kia whined. 'You're freaking me out.'
I gave Kia a hug even though Micki looked like she was the one who needed it.
Me? I wasn't scared. I was itching to get out there and do my stuff.
Yoga was cancelled and we were called into the dining room.
'Good morning, girls,' Carla greeted us.
There were platters of fruit and the cereal was already out on the serving table.
'What happened to yoga?' Megan shouted a little too loudly for the morning.
'In a minute, Megan,' answered Carla.
Behind me, Georgie whispered, 'I reckon they're going to start the contest now.'
My heart popped. Just a little. My nerves were still intact.
Jake stepped forward. Yes, Georgie was right.
'Girls, the plan for the day has changed slightly,' he said. 'We're going to have a light breakfast now, followed by a bit of a talk, then the team contest will start.'
Georgie nudged me. 'Told you.'
'The reason for this, as I'm sure you already know, is because the tide is low,' explained Jake. 'There is going to be a lot more water behind those waves once it gets past lunch. I'm sure the beach will have to close then,' he said. 'As it is now, the wind's onshore but it's light.' Jake smiled. He looked okay when he was happy. 'This is it, girls. Let's get the show on the road.'
Megan yelled, 'Yahooooooo!'
'Do you think we should ring our oldies?' Kia said, as we watched one another's spoons go everywhere except in mouths. 'Tell them that we're starting earlier, 'cause, like, isn't that the point of the parents coming? To watch us?'
'I don't care,' I mumbled.
'Do you want to call your dad?' Georgie asked Kia.
Kia thought about it. For a while too.
'Tick, tock,' Georgie joked.
Kia blushed and made a fake-sounding giggle. 'No.'
'Sure?' checked Georgie.
Georgie was left with the burden of Kia, whereas Micki and I would be hundreds of kilometres away. I felt bad for Georgie because it was a big responsibility. But to be honest, I was relieved it wasn't mine, and Micki was too young to have that sort of burden.
Kia was still mid-thought that she was 'sure'.
'Yeah, absolutely,' she confirmed. 'I may even surf better without him there.'
Last night, before we'd turned off the lights for the very last time, we asked Kia if she thought she was going to be okay. If she'd be able to stick to the pact we made and not go anywhere near scissors.
'I'm really going to try,' she said to us.
And like last time, Micki added, 'Just do your best. That's enough for us.'
I'd wanted to say, 'Actually, no Micki, that is not enough for us. If Kia cuts through an artery this time she won't be the only one in trouble!'
But I didn't, because I knew it wouldn't have sounded right. Being older than Micki meant I'd had more life experience so I understood this type of situation better. Micki was only trying to be helpful.
'Hey, Micki?' Kia asked. 'Did you want Dad, my dad that is, here to watch you compete? If you do I'll –'
'I'm fine,' Micki said, and smiled.
I couldn't resist giving Georgie a teeny weeny kick under the table. Micki and Kia had come a long way.
'Scissors – paper – rock!'
Three of us did scissors but guess who didn't? Kia.
She wasn't first surfer for the team.
'Yes!' She punched the air. 'Thank you, God. I hate going first.'
'Scissors – paper – rock!'
Micki held out her fist in a rock while Georgie's and mine were flat for paper.
'Sorry!' we said to Micki.
'It's cool,' she replied, stretching from side to side. 'Doesn't matter if I'm in first, second, third or fourth, I've still got to do it.'
'Can I not go last, though?' Kia begged.
'How does this order sound?' I suggested, 'Micki, me, Kia, then Georgie.'
We were in agreement.
*
Shyan had to use the loudspeaker so we could hear her over the pounding waves. 'Two minutes till the siren,' she announced. 'First surfers get ready, please.'
We formed a circle with our arms linked over one another's shoulders.
'Okay, Starfish Sisters, let's just concentrate on this team event,' Georgie said. 'Once this is over, we're on our own for the girl-against-girl comp.'
'Don't,' Kia moaned, 'you're making me sad.'
'Sshhh!' we sprayed.
'But this is the end of the Starfish Sisters.'
'No it's not!' Georgie barked. 'Focus!'
Sometimes Kia needed a wetsuit that zipped up over her head!
The siren blasted and the green flag was waved. Micki was off, running down the sand and into the water.
'Go Micki!' we yelled. 'Go Team Starfish!'
The paddling looked tough through the impact zone. At least Micki was managing to keep underneath. Tahlia wasn't so lucky. She was being held down and thrown around like she was on a ride at Seaworld.
'Holy crap.' I grabbed on to Georgie's arm and Kia grabbed on to the other. 'She looks so tiny out there.'
'She knows what she's doing,' Georgie said.
Megan and Micki made it out to the line-up first. They sat there watching. Even in a competition, this was a moment you had to take in. The waves were five to six feet with the odd rogue set rolling in that must've been near seven.
'Come on, Micki,' we shouted as one of those rogue sets approached. We could hear it thundering. I felt the tingles shooting up my legs. 'Go for it!'
Micki saw it too, looming from the horizon. Quickly she spun around and started paddling. She wanted it.
As the wave jacked up, Micki got smaller as she skidded down its face.
We were all eyes on her as she went in for a bottom turn.
The wave barrelled, Micki pulled in, the section opened up – but Micki didn't come out. She was still somewhere inside.
Tighter, I twisted Georgie's arm as we waited for her to be spat out, then bang, the wave shut down in a chundering ball of foam.
Kia and I screamed.
'It's okay. It's okay,' Georgie kept saying.
But there was no Micki, anywhere.
Dead silence was all I heard. I didn't even hear the sea. All I knew was the three of us, our hands gripping onto one another's wrists, waiting for Micki to appear.
Suddenly, half a beaten-up board sprang out of the waves, followed by Micki. She grabbed it, swung it under her body and began to paddle in on the white wash.
We screamed, we shouted and hugged one another, before realising the five-minute siren hadn't gone off and now Micki didn't have a surfboard.
'She can take mine,' Kia screamed, grabbing her board and running down to the shore to meet her.
Not even Jake, who wasn't meant to take sides, could control
himself. 'Go on, Micki!' he shouted, running down the beach towards her. 'Go, girl! Get back out there!'
There was no chat. Kia ran in knee-deep, handed over her board and Micki started paddling back out.
Taylor waved the yellow flag. Five minutes left till the tag.
It was almost my time.
Georgie and I met eyes.
'Okay?' she said.
'Yep.'
The paddling required every muscle I could muster. I followed the rip and managed to stay underneath when it mattered. The whole time I talked to myself.
'You can do this, Ace. Stay calm. It's all good. You've done it a thousand times before. It's all good.'
Maybe from experience, I knew twenty minutes was all I had. It was now or never. This beach'd be closed in a couple of hours. There'd be no 'girl-to-girl' contest. This was it all rolled into one.
'No time for regrets, Ace,' I told myself. 'You can't get your time back now. Don't look back, look forward. You want this and only you can get it.'
I saw it coming before it saw me. I wanted that wave. I was going to take it and destroy it.
Go! My head screamed.
I spun around and started paddling. The chase was on.
I skidded down the face and went in for a series of quick, clean turns ending with a gliding floater on the inside section.
'Woooo!' I celebrated. That would've been an eight, thank you.
Now I was hungry, starving for more.
The next set was approaching like a tower and its speed and power was amazing.
I charged, drove off the bottom, hooked up under the lip, then ducked into the barrel, spat out and pulled in again. Aaagghh!
Kia was ready and waiting.
'Oh my God!' she screamed as I paddled in. 'You were awesome, Ace. Awesome!'
Georgie came running down and almost threw herself on top of me.
'You did it!' she shouted. I was half-laughing, half-crying. My heart was still charging even though my legs felt like jelly. 'You smashed them all off the face of the planet!'
'Did you see me get barrelled?'
'Are you barrel-prone or what?' Georgie grabbed my face and held it tightly. 'I think you did it, Ace. You should've heard Jake cheering when you shot out of it.'
Kia stuffed up trying to take off on one of the bigger sets. But she was back on and back out there.