by J. L. Ostle
I hate that they are seeing me like this, crying like a little girl. I am thirteen years old, I hate crying. I hate it when I see other girls cry. I never want to look like they do, but with my parents screaming horrible things to one another, I can’t help it.
“Shh, it’s going to be okay, we are here. We got you.” Dean says stroking my hair, I let the tears fall once again. Dean is holding me at my front, as Jason is hugging me from behind, his head laying on my shoulder.
They are my best friends, my family.
Dean and Jason are both fourteen, I will be fourteen in less than two months. They are both about the same height, about an inch or so taller than me. They both have brown hair, but Dean’s a little longer and darker. He has light blue eyes as Jason has dark green ones.
They are starting to get attention from girls at school. I hate seeing girls giggling, fluttering their eyelashes at them, they look like idiots, but the worst thing is they enjoy being admired. What boy wouldn’t though?
No, I think the worst thing is they love being admired by the girls who look all girly, with their lovely shiny hair, lip glossed lips, wearing pretty dresses and skirts. Some of the girls are starting to develop as I have yet to. They use to hate girls, but now they are seeing them differently.
I have wavy brown hair that does my head in, so it’s always tied up in a low ponytail. I have big boring brown eyes. I definitely don’t dress like a doll. I don’t want Jason and Dean to see me in a lovey-dovey way, but I rely on them. They are my everything. I am afraid one day they are going to leave me behind.
They promise me no matter what, we are going to be best friends for life, even when we are old and saggy. I just have a feeling that one day they are going to have girlfriends and I know the girls aren’t going to like me. They don’t really like me now. They hate that the two popular boys in our grade both hang out with me.
A scruffy tomboy.
I have one friend who is a girl, Tina, and she is the only one who doesn’t care that I have two best friends who are boys.
“They shouldn’t shout like this when you are in the house, it’s wrong,” Jason says. I hear the anger in his voice.
“I just want them to stop fighting all the time. They are married, they love each other. I just don’t understand.” I cry all over again. I hear my mom yell some names no child should ever have to hear.
“Bloody hell, your mom can yell for someone so small.” Dean tries to joke, but I don’t feel like laughing. I see Dean look behind me towards Jason. They don’t say anything. It’s like they are mind reading each others thoughts. They both hold my hands and guide me to my bed and we all lay down, with me in the middle. “It’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay.” After a few more soothing words, them both stroking my hair, my arm. I fall into a restless sleep.
I wake up the next morning and I am on my own. I know they couldn’t stay all night as my parents would have a fit, but hate that once again I am all alone. I sit up and stretch and I see Mr. Snuggles laying on the pillow and a daisy next to it. I can’t help the smile that crosses my face. I hug my teddy as I smell the little flower.
I quickly change into a pair of denim shorts and a black tank top and quickly head to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I look at my reflection and start making faces, laughing at how ridiculous I look. I walk down the stairs and I take a deep breath before walking into the kitchen. I never know what is going to be waiting for me after a night of screaming and shouting. But I do what I always do, put on a fake smile, and pretend I didn’t hear my mom call my dad every name under the sun.
“Morning sweetie,” Mom says kissing me on the cheek as I sit down at the table. I look across to my dad and he gives me a wink before going back to his laptop. Sitting here you wouldn’t think anything was wrong. I used to think maybe I was dreaming it all, but after a couple of times hearing them, I knew I wasn’t dreaming.
We eat in silence, no one saying anything. I feel like I am in trouble even though I have done nothing wrong. I feel like I am being punished. I never thought I would say this, but I can’t wait to go to school. Anything would be better than this. I throw away the rest of my breakfast that I couldn’t eat and say my goodbyes as I grab my backpack and walk out the door.
I walk down my pathway and across the street to Dean’s house. I ring the doorbell and wait, rocking backward and forward on my heels. The door opens, I see Dean’s little sister, sucking her thumb smiling up at me.
“Ashleigh,” she says, but it sounds more like Sh-Leigh. I pick her up, spinning her around, smiling at her fit of giggles. I give her a huge kiss on the cheek. Her big blue eyes are so full of joy. She is only two and a half, I swear she is going on five, she can’t stop growing. I love her like she is my own sister.
I grew up wanting a brother or sister, I think that is why I am so close to Dean and Jason. To me, they are my family. I would give them any organ if they needed one. I would die for them. I would take a horrible, brutal, painful death to save them. I think you get my point on how much they mean to me.
“Bella, I told you not to answer the door. I swear you are too tall for your own good.” I hear Sarah, Dean and Bella’s mom yell out, walking towards us.
“Oh, Ashleigh, it’s you, come on in. This one is giving me gray hairs already.” She picks up Bella and walks back inside the house. I close the door and follow. “Dean, Ashleigh is here.” I walk into the living room and sit down on the couch as I wait.
I look around and see all the photos on the walls, pictures of Dean from when he was a baby to him now. I am even in some of the pictures. I stand up and walk toward a picture of the three of us, Dean, Jason and myself. The three musketeers. I love this photo. We are all smiling at the camera, with me in the middle. I turn and look around the room. The home is smaller than mine.
Dean’s Dad passed away not long after Bella was born. They had to move to a smaller house, as they couldn’t afford the house they were at before. I never asked Dean how his Dad died. I know that he misses him, and looking at the pictures on the wall, he looked like an older version of Dean, same warm blue eyes and hair color.
I can’t imagine what my life would be like if one of my parents passed away, I can’t imagine if one of them wasn’t there anymore. I hate that they are fighting, I hate that Dean lost someone close to him. How I wish I could just magically make my parents go back to how they were and bring Dean and Bella their Dad back. Make us all happy. I wipe a tear that escapes and scold myself for crying again. I can’t change anything, I know that, but God I wish I could.
“Ashleigh,” I hear Bella calling to me, walking towards me with her arms in the air for me to pick her up. God, she has gotten so heavy, what are these people feeding her? I laugh to myself.
“You are getting too big and heavy, Misses.” I walk her to the window and we stare outside as she hugs into my neck.
“You ready?” I hear from the doorway. I turn and smile at Dean, who is smiling back. He walks over and takes his little sister.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” I tell him.
“You’re little early so don’t blame me.” He sticks his tongue out at me. “You going to have fun with Mommy as we go to boring old school, with boring old teachers,” he baby talks to Bella, which makes my face hurt from smiling so big.
“Draw pictures.”
“You are going to draw pictures? Make sure you do a big one for me when I get back home okay?” He tries to put her down, but she latches onto his neck, not letting go, she starts to cry.
“Me come too,” she cries to Dean. I can’t help but feel bad. Just seeing her big blue eyes staring up at him. Her eyes are a little lighter than Dean’s, but it suits her light brown hair.
“I would take you if I could, but you have to look after Mommy, I will be home soon okay. Give me some kisses.” She still has tears sliding down her cheeks, but she gives him a kiss on the cheek, then he puts her down, giving her a big hug before standing back up. I see
that he doesn’t want to leave her either.
Bella walks into the kitchen where their Mom is and we head out the front door. We are quiet as we walk towards Jason’s house. He lives just a few doors down. I don’t say anything as I know Dean hates it when his little sister gets upset.
He told me that he has to be the man of the house now, and he has to look after his Mom and Bella. He is only fourteen years old and he had to grow up so fast. He is the most sensible one between the three of us.
“What do you guys feed her anyway? She felt like two bowling balls in a bag.” I see the corners of his lips twist up a little. “I think she is going to be one of those wrestlers that wear those huge diapers when she’s older, I can tell.” We both burst out into laughter. He puts his arm over my shoulder and messes up my hair. I have to push him away and re-tie it up.
We head to Jason’s and start knocking and banging on the door not stopping till it opens. Jason is standing there glaring at us. We always knock on his door nonstop till he answers, we know it annoys him. Jason quickly goes back inside and comes back out with his backpack, swinging it on one shoulder.
“You know Ash, it’s cooler to just put your pack on one shoulder than on both. You look like a nerd.” I quickly stick my leg out and he trips over landing on the ground. Dean hysterically laughs.
“You deserved that, man.” Dean continues to laugh and walks on.
“Call me a nerd again, I will make sure you land on your face next time,” I say then catch up to Dean.
Chapter 2
“I am telling ya, I am going to be a professional football player. Look at these guns.” Jason says showing off his skinny arms. Dean and I laugh at him. He has been going on for about twenty minutes about how he is going to make the football team and go Pro when he is older. I walk towards him and squeeze his biceps. “Ouch, stop pinching.”
“I am not pinching, I am feeling the so called muscle.” He pulls his arm away and scowls at me before stomping off. “Oh, Jason, don’t be such a drama queen, you baby,” I yell out to him.
“You know how upset he gets when you tease him.” Dean sighs and runs after him. God, boys can be such babies.
“You know I was only messing.” I jog after them. Jason ignores me till we get to school. “I am sorry Jason, you know I was only playing. If you want to be a Pro footballer, you go for it. I want to be Malibu Barbie when I am older, I am thinking about dying my hair blonde so I can fulfill my dream, too.” I smile at him, he smiles back, chuckling.
“I think you need to grow a few more inches till you can call yourself a Barbie.”
“Hey, I am working on it. Not my fault my growth spurt hasn’t happened yet. It’s always boys that grow first, so unfair.”
“You will get there, if not you can be short ass Barbie,” he says then puts his arm over my shoulder, I elbow him in his chest.
“Ha, ha, very funny.”
We walk to the wall outside of school where we always go before the warning bell rings and I sit up as the boys lean against it. We just talk about anything that crosses our minds. We are discussing what we are doing for the weekend when one of the pretty girls walks towards us with a huge smile. I inwardly groan.
Like I said before, recently some of the girls at the school have been acting weird and being all stupid when around Dean and Jason. This girls name is Brook and she is wearing a light pink skirt with a white top and a denim jacket. She is such a girly girl. She hates getting dirty, in gym class if we do anything outside she makes such a fuss and moans, it drives me nuts.
“Hi, Jason. Hi, Dean.” She completely ignores me and smiles at them. Yeah, I am invisible, even though I am sitting on the wall between them.
“Hey,” they both say and give her a smile. Jason folds his arms and from the look on his face you know he is enjoying the attention. I feel like saying ‘oh come on, she looks like an idiot fluttering her eyelashes like she has an eye problem,’ but I don’t. I always just sit there and watch.
“I am having a special birthday party now that I will be turning fourteen, and wondering if you guys want to come. It won’t be the same without you being there.” She gives a little pout. Who does that? Who the hell pouts?
“What do you two think?” Jason asks Dean and I. I look at fish girl and she looks at me like she just noticed I was even sitting there. I know she doesn’t want me to come, but she won’t say anything. She knows like every other girl knows we come as a package. I smile at her.
“I don’t know, birthday parties are kinda childish for me. I will have to think about it.” I love seeing her mouth drop open. I can see anger build in her eyes, but she tries not to show it. That’s why I hate the girls at this school. They only show you what they want to show. I miss the days where the girls only cared about their dolls, but the last few months they are turning into pathetic vultures. Is it something in the water? If it is, I hope I don’t drink any of it.
“We will get back to you,” Dean says with a shrug. I know he isn’t bothered either way.
“It isn’t some kiddy party,” she tries to defend herself. “We are having a DJ, and my parents are putting in a dance floor. It’s going to be epic.” I look at her with indifference, so what she is getting a DJ. I know she just wants people there to fawn all over her like she is some kind of princess.
She wants Dean and Jason to be her admirers. I think I watch too many high school movies. Blame my mom, but I know what girls like Brook are. They are future bullies who end up being the cheerleader, or queen bee, or whatever you call them. I am showing her now, that she can’t rule me.
“Like Dean said, we will let you know.” She wants to argue with me, I can see it. Her cheeks are a little flushed, I don’t think she is used to people saying no to her. I smile at her then give her a wink.
“Well, let me know. Bye Dean, Jason.” With that, she walks away.
“It could be cool to go,” Jason says. I kick him in the side.
“Did you not just listen to her? She invited you two, not me. She didn’t correct you when you asked what we thought. She just wants you two, I am not going to a party I am not invited to. If you two want to go, go ahead.” I jump off the wall and walk away. I may have sounded like a whiney kid, but I hate that they don’t see what these girls are like. They treat me like I’m an alien and that I am not their best friend.
God, I hate this school.
“Ash, wait up.” Dean calls out to me, but I don’t stop. Yes, I am being childish, but I don’t care.
“We won’t go okay? We didn’t realize that she just invited us and not you. We just assumed. We go as a team or not at all.” Jason says wrapping his arm around my neck, pulling me to his side. I hate that this even bothers me.
“If you two want to go, I don’t want to be the one to stop you. I just don’t want to go to a party that belongs to someone who acts like I am not your friend too.” I sigh.
“No, she should have invited you as well as us. You were there, she was being a cow, we just didn’t notice till you pointed it out.” Great now I bet I look like a needy friend.
“God, I am acting like a freak, huh?”
“No less than usual, come on girly, let's get to class.” Dean wraps his arm over my shoulder as well as we walk to the school entrance. I see some of the girls watching the boys, then look at me. I smile. Yeah, girls, we are a package deal. You want them, then you need to put up with me too.
At lunch, we are sitting at our usual table. I am sitting in the middle with Dean and Jason on either side of me, we are talking about what high school will be like. I groan when I hear Jason go on and on about the new older girls. He thinks he is going to be a ladies, man.
“You haven’t even got a single hair on your face, all the girls are going to want men, not boys.” I laugh at his sullen face.
“Don’t ruin my dream, I am starting to get a little stubble, but I shave it so I am all smooth for the ladies.” He rubs his chin and jaw. I can’t help but spit out my chocolate mil
kshake.
“The ladies?” I laugh again.
“Just you watch, as I get older, I am going to get better looking if that’s even possible. The women are going to be all over me. Just you watch.” Dean shakes his head, I know he isn’t going to say anything. I know he agrees with me. Jason is deluded. I giggle to myself.
“I will watch, I will watch you get taller, still being all skinny, trying to grow your imaginary stubble. I will watch, don’t you worry.”
“I am going to be a proper woman’s man, just you see.” I nod, then roll my eyes.
“Dean come on, back me up, we are going to be chick magnets in high school.” I look at Dean with my chin in my hand waiting for his response, with a grin on my face. He looks at me with a cheeky smile.
“Yeah, man, we are going to have all the girls chasing after us, dying to be in our presence.” I laugh as he chuckles.
“Yeah, we are.” If I laugh anymore, I am going to pass out. I wouldn’t change a thing, though. I shake my head and finish off my lunch.
“What’s so funny?” Tina sits down opposite me. She is like me, a tomboy. She is wearing a black T-shirt that almost hits her knees with dark blue baggy jeans. Her hair is a dirty blonde color tied up in a high ponytail. She is amazing with a heart of gold. We became instant friends when we first met in biology, all the girls were shrieking when we saw a dead cow eye, we were the only two that poked and prodded the thing. Good times.
“Casanova here is saying that every girl in high school is going to be fighting for his attention.”
“That explains it, that is the funniest thing I have heard all week, I needed a good laugh,” Tina and I giggle at Jason’s angry face.