Chapter 10
The birds are chirping, and I cover my eyes to block the sun as I drag myself to class. I’m among a few other people heading toward the Science building. What was I thinking, picking these early morning classes?
I lay my head on the desk until the professor walks in the room.
“From the looks of it, partying last night was more interesting than this Biology book.” The professor inspects each of my classmates, stopping to stare at me.
I straighten up and try to put on my game face. He raises his brow and starts his lecture.
The girl beside me laughs. I turn in her direction and roll my eyes. Her face is fully made up, hair perfectly curled, and she has on a cute sundress. I peep under her desk and see she has on five-inch heels. I understand why people call Lee ‘Fashion University’. I thought I was doing good with my skinny jeans, blouse, and sandals.
“What is the function of the cell membrane?” After hands shoot up around the classroom, the professor nods his head and picks morning sunshine sitting next to me.
Looking around the room, the kids with their hands raised aren’t the typical, nerdy looking kids. This isn’t what I imagined college would be like. I thought I would be surrounded by goof balls.
The professor continues his lecture on cell membranes and osmosis. As soon as the professor adjourns class, I hop out of my seat and head to the dorm to meet Jennifer.
As I approach the dorm steps, I see Jennifer with another chick standing beside her. She’s a little taller than Jennifer, with a curvy waist and boobs that put my C cups to shame. As I get closer, I see her hair is swept up into a messy bun.
“Hey, Jennifer.” I smile at the girl standing beside her, then realize it’s Nicole, Jennifer’s roommate.
“Nicole! I hardly recognized you. I haven’t seen you in a while.” I look at her sideways, re-examining her.
Jennifer laughs. “Are you ready to eat? Nicole is going to join us today.”
“You don’t mind, do you, Laila?” Nicole gives me a soft smile, but with eyes that challenge me to say no.
“Of course, I don’t mind. We could use the company on this long walk to the cafeteria.” Josh said girls gain fifteen pounds their freshmen year. Girls at A&T must not have to walk an African mile to their cafeteria. There’s no way I don’t walk off what I eat.
After what seems like forever, we are finally in the cafe, and the smell of maple syrup makes my mouth water. A few buffet lines are set up with different breakfast options. The lines haven’t started forming yet. I grab pancakes, eggs, and bacon, and meet the girls at the table.
Thankfully, they found a table away from the freshmen band members and athletes. We’ve made that mistake before, and could hardly eat with the smell of funk lingering all around us.
“So Nicole, where have you been? You must have a secret hide out.” I take a couple of bites of my pancake and watch Nicole nibble on her waffle.
Nicole laughs. “I guess you can say that. I don’t care for the dorm much.” She scrunches her nose. “I met a guy over the summer and I’ve been staying at his house most of the time.”
Jennifer nods her head in agreement. “I hear you, the dorms are ridiculous. I need to find a boo thang so that I can escape too. Does this guy have friends?” Jennifer winks at Nicole.
“It’s a shame that we have to get boo’d up just to escape the dorms. I’m sure the guys with apartments know that too.” I pop my lips. “They could be butt ass ugly and say, ‘yeah I have my own place with a washer and dryer and cable TV’. Girls would just drop their panties!” We all burst out laughing.
We find a table of three guys, each of whom look like they haven’t seen a barber in a few weeks. One guy stands up and I see his pants are pulled up to his belly button. Nicole nods her head towards him. “He’ll have to use that line next year. He’ll probably have to throw in a good meal too.” Jennifer spits out her juice and I almost choke on my eggs, laughing at Nicole.
Jennifer begins to gather her dishes. “We’ve been sitting here for a minute. We should probably make this walk back to the dorm. Nicole, you staying in the room tonight?”
Nicole curls her lips. “I think I may stay in the room tonight. Although I like staying out, I typically can’t get any homework done. I have a test coming up and I need to study.”
Images of Mr. Sexy dance through my mind. That boyish grin and his athletic body. I wonder what it would be like staying at his apartment. I snap back to reality as I hear the girls get up and start clearing the table.
As we are walking out of the cafeteria, I hear someone shouting, “What’s up shawty, come holla at ya boy for a minute.” I snap my neck around to see some lame guy with baggy jeans and corn rolls in his hair. Corn rolls? Those are so played out, along with his baggy jeans.
I turn to the ladies without skipping a step. “I’m not sure who this guy is trying to talk to. It sure as hell better not be me.” I’ve never been a fan of guys trying to pick me up without having the decency to approach me respectfully.
The girls laugh at me and we all keep walking. “Laila, girl you are a mess. These guys are going to have a hard time getting close to you. I can tell you don’t play games.” Nicole flashes a huge smile.
“You got that right.” I hold my head up high. “A man will have to come correct to get with me. Although my ex is a thug, he was extremely respectful. When we first met, he came up to me and spoke to my friends, then asked if he could speak to me. I’ll be damned if I settle for anything less.”
Jennifer looks at me sideways. “You better get used to the dorms. You may never leave with that attitude!”
Laughing, I elbow Jennifer in the ribs. Passing the Journalism building, I watch all the men we pass. A few cute guys, but none is Mr. Sexy.
Finally, at the dorm, I take a right and head to Jennifer’s room with them. Now that we are on the topic of men, it will be a good time to get in their business. Are they still virgins?
Sitting down at the desk, I make eye contact with Nicole. “You mentioned not getting any homework done when you stay at your dude’s place. What do you guys do all night?” I hope she doesn’t mind me being nosey.
Nicole laughs hysterically. “Girl, that man keeps me busy all night.” Her eyes roll to the back of her head as if the thought alone was giving her an orgasm. “I’ve never been a sex addict, but since being here, I’m not sure if it’s my absolute disgust for the dorms or if I’m that sexually attracted to him. I assume it’s a bit of both.” She shrugs.
My cheeks flush. “I wish I could relate, Nicole. I’m still a virgin.” Jennifer jerks her head back, gasping.
It takes a few seconds for Nicole to pick her jaw up off the floor. “Laila, you don’t have to lie to kick it. I know you couldn’t look that cute, date a thug, and still be holding on to your V card.”
“The plan wasn’t to come to college a virgin but Travis messed all that up. He got locked up the night we were planning to have sex. I haven’t seen him since and now I’m single.” Pouting my lips. “I actually don’t know if I will have sex any time soon.”
“Damn, Laila.” Jennifer stares at me. “I didn’t realize that happened. I knew you were single, but I didn’t realize your ex was in jail. That’s some crazy shit!”
With a look as if her dog died, Nicole says, “Sounds like it wasn’t meant for you to lose it to your ex. How long do you think you’ll stay a virgin?”
I think about Nicole’s question for a minute. After Tanya’s situation, the thought of losing my virginity freaks me out. I know I am not ready to be a mother. I’m not even close to wanting to have that type of responsibility. A piece of me feels that I shouldn’t even have sex until I’m ready to face any potential consequences. But another part of me feels like I have a pinned up beast inside of me just waiting to escape. My hand won’t please me forever.
I look between Nicole and Jennifer. “I’m a little afraid.” Nicole looks at me with a confused look. Staring down at my fee
t, I inhale. “Now that Tanya is pregnant, I can’t even think about losing my virginity.”
Jennifer jumps off her bed. “What?” She throws her hands in the air. “You have to be fucking kidding me! When we were at the club that night and she threw up I initially assumed she was pregnant. But since that night I haven’t really considered the reason she wasn’t on campus.” She sits back down and rests her head on her hand.
“I’ve given you all a mouthful. Jennifer let’s hear from you. What’s going on in your sex life?” I couldn’t let this moment pass and not get any information from Jennifer. Before she can respond, tears begin filling her eyes.
“My story is a bit more complicated than a jailed ex or a fear of getting pregnant.” She looks away. “I didn’t have a choice with my virginity.” Sniffling she wipes away her tears. “I dated a guy for about a year in high school. While we were dating, he never really pressured me for sex. I knew he wasn’t a virgin and had been known around school for having sex with a few different girls.” She pauses for a minute and closes her eyes. “One night we were at his house while his parents were out, and things got pretty hot and heavy. Then he forced himself on me. I tried to push him off and said no repeatedly, but he didn’t stop.”
Jennifer stops talking, and then she begins to sob. Nicole and I stare at each other as silence fills the room. I get up and hug Jennifer. I wouldn’t wish her experience on my worst enemy. “Jennifer, I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m sorry I even asked.” Why am I so nosey?
Jennifer forces a smile. “No, honestly, I need to talk about it. Not many people I went to school with know about the situation, only a couple of my friends. Mainly because I felt it was partially my fault for a long time.” She shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “It took me a couple of years to realize I had no fault in the situation. I told my parents that night, and my family wanted to kill the guy or at the least press charges but I begged them to leave it alone and just settle with speaking to his parents.”
My heart aches for Jennifer. “I’m so glad you understand it was not your fault. I’m a firm believer that no matter what, if a woman says no, a man should stop.”
Nicole gets off her bed and sits next to Jennifer. “I hate to ask, but after that situation how do you feel about sex?”
“I’m not completely opposed to the thought of sex. I just don’t think it will happen anytime soon.” She smiles at Nicole. “I think I’ll wait until I’m married.” Jennifer looks like a weight is lifted off her shoulders. “The situation definitely made it difficult for me to trust anyone. I’ve tried getting close to guys. As soon as I do, I flash back to my ex and I can’t let them get close to me. I’ve seen a counselor. I think I’ve improved over the years. I just know I have a long path in front of me.”
I examine Jennifer with a new set of eyes. “Damn, you just never know what someone has been through. Despite your situation, you still manage to seem optimistic.”
“Thank you, Laila. I pray every night that I don’t let that situation steal my joy. Now that we’ve had our moment, let’s change the subject. Wait, what time is it?” She searches the room for the clock. “I forgot I have class.”
“You better get out of here before you’re late. I’m headed to my room. I’ll catch you ladies later.”
Tanya crosses my mind and I dial her number. “Hey Tanya, I think that’s the quickest you’ve ever answered the phone. Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m good. I guess I’m excited to hear from my best friend! I was just thinking about you. How are you, girl?”
“I’m good. Classes are going well. I’ve had a few guys try to talk to me, but I still haven’t run into Mr. Sexy. Enough about me, I was calling to check on you and the baby.”
“We are doing well... she has been kicking a lot. I can feel my body changing. Today I feel exhausted.” She groans.
“Wait, I like how you just breezed pass your reference to the baby as she! You found out you’re having a girl? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Tanya bursts out into loud laughter. “Laila, I can’t find out the sex for a while. But I’ve been told you wake up one day and just know. When I woke up yesterday, I just felt like it was a girl. Lord knows I don’t know what I would do with a little boy.”
“Got you. For your sake, I hope it’s a girl too. How’s Devon?”
“Devon and I are definitely over. After I told him I was pregnant, his response was enough to let me know I needed to move on.”
“Sorry to hear that, Tanya.”
“Oh, and I also spoke to Randy. You don’t have to hide out from him anymore.” She giggles. “He was actually more receptive than Devon. We’ve agreed that he will give his DNA for a test after the baby is born to eliminate him as the father. I will hopefully, do it without my parents finding out.”
“Thank God! I was having nightmares about what Randy would say if I ran into him. I think your plan sounds good. I hope that you can keep everything under wraps without your parents finding out. How are they anyway? And Josh, how’s he doing?”
“My parents are doing good. They seem to be coming around more each day. I know I’ve disappointed them but I’m happy that they are supporting my decision to keep the little one.” She groans. “Josh, he’s another story. We haven’t really spoken much since this summer. I’m over him, ‘cause he acts like this baby has somehow threatened his life.”
I hear someone running down the hall, and then knocking on my door. A loud thunderous voice says, “It’s coming...”
“What is all that noise?”
“Let me call you right back, Tanya. I need to go check.”
Opening the door, I look down the hall and see a few guys stuffing flyers in doors. I look down and see a Homecoming 2013 flyer.
Chapter 11
Nicole stands in front of Jennifer and me while we gather pamphlets from the fitness booth. “This health seminar was fun.” Nicole rolls her eyes. “Let’s get to the mall.”
“Don’t look at me.” I roll my head towards Nicole. “Jennifer was the one who suggested we make an appearance at each and every homecoming event.”
“Hey, it’s our first homecoming.” Jennifer’s face shines with excitement. “We need to embrace it all.” She flails her arms in the air. “Take it all in.”
“Like I said, let’s go.” Nicole covers her face and quickly pulls Jennifer’s arms out of the air. “So embarrassing,” Nicole whispers.
As we wait for the bus to take us to the mall, I see a girl from the bathroom fight. I tap Nicole and Jennifer to get their attention. “That’s her. The girl who snatched that chick’s weave out last weekend.”
Nicole turns to look at the girl. “She doesn’t even look like a fighter. What did the other girl do again?”
I lower my voice as the girl gets closer. “Apparently she kissed her boyfriend.”
The bus pulls up and we hop on, moving to the back to sit next to each other.
Nicole leans back in her seat. “Speaking of boyfriends, I had to leave that man of mine alone.”
Jennifer swats at Nicole’s arm. “I was just thinking you were starting to like being in the room with me, but no… you ain’t got nowhere to go. What happened?”
Nicole groans. “He was starting to get clingy.” Her face curls up like she caught a whiff of funk.
“Guess you’ll be in the dorms with us more.” I wink at Nicole.
Nicole laughs, “I guess so. At least until the next cute dude with an apartment comes along.” She leans over and high-fives me.
We all laugh. Unfortunately, I haven’t had the luxury of staying off campus yet. I’ve tried to avoid guys altogether. Being a virgin, I don’t want to give a guy the wrong impression and end up on the wrong end of a bad situation.
Nicole looks at me defiantly and says, “Laila, the real question is when are you going to get off campus? Still giving guys the cold shoulder?”
I hunch my shoulders. “I haven’t had any interesting guys approach me yet. I’m defi
nitely not opposed to getting out of the raggedy dorms.”
Jennifer laughs. “That attitude you gave that dude in front of the cafe has probably spread around campus. Dudes are too afraid to approach you.”
“I doubt it. But if it keeps guys like that away, I still win.”
As we pull up to the mall, we all get off, half skipping and laughing. I’m glad my parents dropped off funds while they were here for parent’s weekend. Now to find a hot outfit for this party.
Each store we hit is packed with girls rummaging through the racks. We squeeze in where we can fit in and start searching for what we need. I’ve been wearing sundresses to the parties, but this party is known for being reckless, and a dress might provide too much access.
At Forever 21, I find a ruffled aquamarine halter-top that will go perfectly with my jeans and brown open toe heels. Now my outfit is complete, I just need accessories. I turn to look for the ladies in the crowd. “I’m going to head down to Macy’s to look for accessories. I’ll text you when I’m finished, to find you.”
Nicole looks frustrated. “Your little titty ass would find something that fast.”
On my way to Macy’s I people watch. The young and old are all over today, decked out in their maroon and gold. Then I spot him. My eyes must be playing tricks on me. I have to take a second look. As I look his way again, our eyes meet.
It’s him...finally...Mr. Sexy. I will myself to keep walking, although my legs feel like they have gone numb and I’m suddenly out of breath. Slow down, give him time to catch up.
With each step I take, my heart pounds harder. Pull it together. I don’t even know this guy.
As I approach the entrance of the store, I hear a voice say, “Excuse me.” Thank God, he doesn’t say something that would immediately get him dismissed.
I take a breath and turn around with a small smile. Instead of Mr. Sexy, standing in front of me is a guy about a foot taller, a few shades darker, with a bright white smile. I try to compose myself and wipe any disappointment from my face. “Yes.” I look beyond him to look for Mr. Sexy but I don’t see him.
Freshmen Fifteen Page 7