‘Damn.’ Missing the call as she struggled to remove her rubber gloves, Diana cursed her obsessive need to always be busy while Robert was off doing what she knew very well he was, and then selected Karla’s number and called her straight back.
‘Mum?’ Karla jumped on the call, her voice small and tearful. ‘I wondered where you were.’
Diana frowned in concern. ‘Here,’ she assured her. ‘Where I always am.’ That was to say, cleaning the house so thoroughly you could perform open heart surgery on the kitchen floor without risk of infection, driving herself more insane than Robert had already driven her and biding her time until she could leave her husband to stew in his own mess, but Karla didn’t need to know any of that. ‘What’s happened, lovely?’ she asked her gently.
Hearing a long intake of breath, Diana waited. And then, ‘Do you think I’m like Dad, Mum?’ Karla blurted.
Well, that was something she absolutely didn’t have to tear herself up about, Diana thought angrily. ‘If you mean do you run roughshod over people’s feelings, then no, Karla, I don’t,’ she told her firmly. ‘You’ve always been caring towards other people. Too caring sometimes. Why on earth would you imagine you’re not?’
‘Because I don’t think I’m a very nice person,’ Karla said, sounding so uncertain that Diana found herself cursing Jason, despite her gut feeling that he would never trample over other people’s feelings either.
‘That’s utter nonsense, Karla,’ she scolded her. ‘You’re looking for reasons for Jason to be doing what he appears to be doing – and I emphasise the word appears – and you’re wrong. You’re nothing like Robert.’
‘But I am,’ Karla insisted. ‘I’ve been vile to the people I work with today, bullying one of them to the point of tears. I did the same to Jason, pushing him, insisting he accept financial help from Dad when he desperately didn’t want to. It’s no wonder he—’
‘Karla, stop,’ Diana interjected forcefully. ‘If you’ve snapped at anyone at work, it’s perfectly understandable, given your personal circumstances, and you pushed Jason because you were trying to support him. I would have done the same thing in your shoes. It was obvious it was breaking your heart to watch him struggle.’
Karla went quiet, but the tell-tale sniffles told Diana she was quietly crying. ‘Have there been any developments?’ she prompted her, softening her tone.
Karla took a moment to answer, then, ‘No, not really,’ she said shakily. ‘He went out after I got back tonight. Something to do with making sure everything was in order for the sale of his business to go smoothly, he said, which is rubbish. I know very well he’s been chatting to his new woman online.’
‘You don’t know he’s doing anything of the sort, Karla. Now he knows you know, I doubt he—’
‘But I do,’ Karla cut in, with a cynical laugh. ‘Of course he is, Mum. Why on earth would you of all people defend him?’
‘I’m not. I’m just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.’ Diana sighed, conceding that she was actually harbouring a forlorn hope that somehow her daughter’s marriage could be saved. Even if Karla didn’t have proof he’d done anything more than browse, it would be naive to imagine he hadn’t intended to.
‘He’s not just looking out of idle curiosity, Mum, trust me,’ Karla went on, sounding more angry now than dejected, which was no bad thing. If they were headed for the divorce courts, her daughter would need to stand up and fight, not sit in the corner, licking her wounds. ‘I can’t believe he was actually jealous,’ she said, emitting another short laugh, this time one of disdain. ‘When I danced with that young guy at your birthday party, do you remember?’
Diana did remember. She’d been quite enamoured with the young man herself.
‘He was so furious, I was shocked. You know, that he would suddenly be so macho and proprietorial when we’ve been together for…’ Karla stopped. She was holding her breath – holding the tears back, Diana guessed. ‘He wasn’t jealous though, was he?’ She finally allowed herself a shuddery breath out. ‘His pride was wounded, that was all. He was looking to use that as an excuse to blame me for looking elsewhere.’
The dejection was back, Diana sensed, but at least Karla seemed to be shifting the blame from herself now, which she needed to do. She’d carried too much blame in her life – convincing herself that she was somehow responsible for Sarah’s death, which was ludicrous. The blame lay squarely on the shoulders of Robert, a man with no conscience who’d bullied and lied his way out of culpability.
‘I don’t think he was doing that, darling,’ she said carefully. ‘From where I was standing, he looked genuinely put out to me.’
‘Put out, yes,’ Karla agreed, a fatalistic edge now to her voice, ‘because I was making a fool of myself, therefore making a fool out of him. Embarrassing him, clearly.’
‘Karla…’ Diana felt her heart bleed for her. ‘You dance with your soul. There were many men’s eyes on you that night. Many women’s, too. They were green with envy. Some of them would give an arm to look like you do. Please stop doubting yourself, darling. You’re a beautiful, talented young woman.’
‘Ha,’ Karla answered, with a self-deprecating laugh this time. ‘Would that my husband thought so.’
Oh, Karla. ‘Would you like me to come over?’ Diana asked. ‘We could watch a film, or just have a good girl talk? It might help.’
‘No,’ Karla answered tiredly. ‘I mean, I’d love it, but it’s getting a bit late now, and the children are in bed. I’ll be fine, Mum, I promise. I just wanted someone to tell me I’m beautiful.’ She laughed again, albeit sadly.
‘You are,’ Diana assured her. ‘Are you sure though? I can be there in half an hour.’
‘I’m sure. I’m going to try on some clothes I went shopping for after work. And then have a bath – with lots of bath oil and a large glass of wine on the side, obviously.’
‘New clothes, hey?’ Diana was relieved to hear she’d opted for retail therapy rather than retreating into herself, as she tended to do.
‘I’m reinventing myself.’ Karla attempted to sound positive. For her sake, Diana guessed. ‘Out with the old and in with the new, more confident me.’
‘I’m pleased to hear it,’ Diana said, feeling slightly more assured herself. ‘Enjoy. But don’t get too sozzled. You’ll only regret it. And remember, Karla, I’m here if you do need to talk.’
‘I will. Thanks, Mum. Love you. Night night.’
‘Love you too, sweetheart. Night night.’
Diana placed her phone back down on the work surface and studied it for a second, tempted to ring Jason herself. But then, that might only exacerbate their problems. Having an interfering mother-in-law meddling in his affairs wouldn’t help Jason’s mood any.
She would speak to him, but not yet. She turned back to the fridge to pour herself a large glass of wine while she pondered. She didn’t believe that Jason had just decided one day that he’d had enough and started trawling these sites out of bitterness. If she knew Jason at all, he simply wasn’t made that way. There was more to this, Diana was sure of it. Jason wouldn’t just throw in the towel because Robert had refused him financial backing. He wouldn’t throw away his marriage, thereby giving Robert exactly what he’d always wanted. There was always the possibility he was no longer in love with Karla, but Diana’s instinct told her that wasn’t the case. Which left one other option: Jason must truly believe he had no other choice.
Diana fervently hope that wasn’t the case. Because if it was, then Robert had definitely gone too far. He’d stolen Sarah’s life. She couldn’t allow him to ruin Karla’s. Somehow, Diana had to find out what had gone on in Robert’s office. She had to find a way to prevent four people’s lives from being destroyed. If that meant bringing forward her plans, then so be it. It would have repercussions for her, but Diana had long lived with the knowledge that the actions she’d taken years ago might catch up with her. She was ready now to live with the consequences, painful though they would be.
TWENTY-SEVEN
JASON
As he pulled up outside the house, Jason looked towards the windows and sighed heavily. He’d never thought there would come a day that he wouldn’t look forward to going home after work. Right now, though, with him and Karla only speaking to communicate about the kids over the last few days, he would rather be anywhere else. He had no choice, he reminded himself. His reason for being there was the kids. His reason for being at all.
Which was feeling sorry for himself, obviously. He pulled himself up. Karla was the real victim in all of this. She was changing, moving away from him, building her own life, she’d said, which basically meant she was going out at night, staying out. He needed to be here.
Taking a breath, he grabbed his phone and reached for the car door, then paused as he realised he had a message. He was surprised to see it was from Jessie. They’d chatted for a while when they first messaged. She’d told him about her nursing job at Carlow general hospital, making him smile with a few hair-raising tales of embarrassing accident and emergency situations. She’d also told him about her last boyfriend, who turned out to be a ‘lying shite’ – married, she’d discovered, and had promptly dumped him. Jason had been vague, avoiding saying anything about his personal circumstances, other than that he was recently separated – and he’d felt he was betraying Karla by saying that much. As he’d heard nothing from Jessie since, he’d assumed she’d shied away from the ‘recently separated’ scenario. Not sure he knew how to handle it, whether he should just accept being on his own rather than go down this impulsive route, Jason had half hoped she wouldn’t follow it up. Wondering now whether to answer, he pulled up the message, and then smiled when he read it.
So, are we still talking? Or did you find me about as scintillating as watching paint dry?
Ouch, he thought. Another woman whose feelings he’d hurt. She’d probably assumed he would contact her. Glancing towards the house, Jason hesitated and then keyed in a reply.
If you were paint, you would be sunshine yellow in colour. You brightened my day. It was corny, but he really didn’t want to leave another woman questioning her confidence because of him.
Full marks on the flattery. Keep it up. She sent back, with a winking emoji.
Jason’s smile widened. She could have sent a rolling-eyes one, he supposed.
So, you’re sporty. Athletically toned then? she asked him. You look like you are – unless your photo is ten years old?
It’s not, Jason assured her. Not doing much sport at the moment though.
What’s your fave? Tennis or squash, I bet, so you can sneak off at lunchtimes?
Into more physical sport. Jason didn’t mention the extreme sports, fancying that would make him sound as if he was trying to come across as some kind of macho man.
Hmm? Interesting, she sent back.
Jason laughed. You?
Outdoors girl: walking, cycling, swimming. Indoors: weightlifting.
Jason raised an eyebrow. Weightlifting?
Lager girl. Pint glass. So, do you want to elaborate on the ‘recently separated’? Or have I just turned a boring shade of brown?
Jason wavered. He was messing her about. He had to stop this, be honest with her. But then, albeit they were only messaging, she seemed easy to talk to. He so badly needed that: someone to just talk to, someone who might actually be listening, where Karla had simply stopped.
Glancing again towards the house, he debated, then typed. Can we talk later? I’m in the car. He pressed send.
Can do. Get back when you can. X
Will do, Jason replied. Would he? Again, he prevaricated, guilt doing battle with the aching loneliness he felt inside. He’d never imagined you could actually feel your heart breaking, but he felt it now. Did he really want to break Karla’s heart further by doing this?
Still undecided, wondering now whether he should send a message explaining instead, which would be crass and insensitive, he’d no doubt, Jason climbed out of his car and walked wearily to the front door. Josh was heading from the lounge to the stairs as he let himself in. He noted he was already in his pyjamas, which was unheard of for Josh, who liked to push bedtimes to the limit. ‘All right, tiger?’ he asked him. ‘Going up already?’
Josh shrugged and nodded unenthusiastically. ‘Mum’s going out,’ he said, his eyes downcast. ‘I can’t stand Megan. All she ever does is talk girl stuff with Holly.’
‘Right.’ Jason glanced warily up the stairs, to where he assumed Karla would be getting ready to go out for the third time that week – ‘With friends,’ she’d told him vaguely, when he’d asked. He dearly wished she wouldn’t do this, but he was in no position to try to appeal to her. He just prayed she was safe – she was clearly drinking to excess, coming home at all hours, and he was desperately worried that one night she might not.
He also had a problem with Megan, the babysitter, which is why he was making sure he was here. He and Karla had both been majorly unimpressed with her the last time she’d babysat. What would he do about her imminent arrival? Pay her, he supposed – something for her trouble, anyway – and tell her they didn’t need her tonight after all.
‘Do you need anything, Josh?’ he called as his son trudged up the stairs, looking as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his small shoulders. Jason felt something crack inside him as he thought of the angst Holly and Josh still had to come. ‘Hot chocolate? Warm milk?’
‘No.’ Josh shook his head. ‘Going to play Lego Star Wars for a bit, and then go to sleep.’
‘Not for too long, Josh,’ Jason reminded him. ‘Blue light before bed won’t help you sleep – you know that, right?’
‘Yeah, I know,’ Josh said, with an elongated sigh. ‘You tell me that about seven times a week.’
Hating that he couldn’t make this right for his kids, make their world safe again, Jason sighed heavily in turn and then shrugged out of his jacket and went straight to the lounge. Holly wasn’t in there, which meant that she was ensconced in her bedroom. She and Josh had both taken to hiding away lately, no doubt to avoid the hostile atmosphere.
Kneading his temples in weary frustration, Jason headed to the kitchen to grab a coffee. He hadn’t thought about what he would eat. He had no appetite. He flicked the kettle on and was reaching for the coffee when his gaze snagged on a pack of pills on the work surface. Curious, he picked up the box, his heart plummeting as he realised what they were: diazepam, Karla’s. Prescribed three days ago. Jesus. With nightmares constantly waking her, she hadn’t been sleeping well before this. She probably wasn’t sleeping at all now. Had she started them? Because if so, he was pretty sure she shouldn’t be drinking alcohol. Opening the box and seeing that she had, Jason pulled out the information leaflet. He was halfway through the side effects and warnings when Karla came in from the hall.
‘Mine, I think,’ she said, walking swiftly across to relieve him of them.
‘Karla…’ Jason blew out a sigh, as she about-faced and headed back out. ‘Look, I know you’ll think it’s none of my business, but should you be drinking while taking those things?’
‘You’re right. It’s not,’ Karla informed him, heading back through the hall to pick up her holdall, in which she stowed her ‘going-out gear’. She never got made-up and dressed to go out here, preferring to do it at her friend’s house, she said, rather than be scrutinised by a man who obviously hadn’t found her attractive in a long time. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Jason had always found her attractive, but there was no way to convince her of that. Not now.
‘Karla, don’t,’ he said, his voice tight. ‘Please don’t take those things and drink at the same time.’
‘I’ll do what I choose, Jason,’ she replied bluntly. ‘That seems to be the general attitude around here.’
‘For God’s…’ Jason’s jaw clenched with frustration. ‘You’re not supposed to take them with alcohol. It’s bloody dangerous! If you’re not worried about yourself, think of th
e kids. They’d be devastated if—’
Karla whirled back around. ‘Me think of the kids?’ She stared at him with a mixture of disbelief and fury and then laughed derisively. ‘Just piss off, Jason,’ she hissed, walking to the front door. ‘Do what you like with who you like. As I’ve no doubt you already are.’
Tugging in a breath, Jason bit hard on his tongue. I just might, he thought furiously. ‘What time will you be back?’ he asked, as calmly as he could.
Karla’s answer was to walk out of the front door, allowing Megan access as she went.
Great. What was the bloody point? Nodding a half-hearted greeting at Megan, Jason raked a hand agitatedly through his hair. What did he do now? He had no idea where she was going, what the hell she was doing.
‘Shall I go through?’ Megan asked him, hovering awkwardly in the hall.
Jason was about to say no, but… ‘The kids are in bed,’ he said on impulse. Stepping past her, he grabbed his car keys from the hall table. ‘No unsuitable Netflix,’ he warned, giving Karla a second to set off and then heading out after her.
‘When do you need me till?’ Megan called from the door.
‘I’ll text you,’ Jason called back, climbing hurriedly into his car.
The Marriage Trap: A completely addictive psychological thriller Page 15