Torian, Loni, and I were isolated in the sorority. I really didn’t care, but I could tell Torian especially wanted to make sure this was her weekend to blend in with our other line sisters. For the first part of the day, we introduced ourselves and met all the older alumnae ladies, but I was just going through the motions.
Eventually, it was spa time. I was in heaven. I needed the deep-tissue massage as a diversion from my woes. It had been five days since I’d kicked Kade out of my place. The two of us hadn’t spoken since. And honestly I was hurting.
After dinner, it was time for our line to have confession time. I thought the girls in our line were a bunch of self-centeredchicks that didn’t know nothing about nothing, so I showed up in my pj’s, ready to put on my headphones to listen to music. Astonishingly when we conducted the truth exercise, I was amazed at how deeply these girls had really connected to one another.
Cassie, the number three on our line, got up and said, “I just don’t know how I would have made it without you girls. My grandmother’s funeral was so hard for me to take. We didn’t expect the cancer to take her so soon. If you guys hadn’t been there, I don’t know how I would have made it.” Seeing the other seven of them break down in tears let me know their connection was superstrong.
Then Trencia, a full-figured girl, got up and said, “What Johnny did to me ...” I started thinking, What Johnny did to her? Now what happened? “The whole rape ordealwas just way too much to bear. I wanted to brush it under the rug and pretend he didn’t exist, blame myself, but you guys wouldn’t let me. You all made sure I reported the incident, got myself checked and tested. I am so excitedabout the love we share. It’s hard, but I know date rape is real.”
Mulani, the cutest dark-skinned sister I’d ever seen, said, “And when my family was looking for a donor for my little cousin’s dying body, y’all supported me when I wanted to get tested. As I went through the testing, I was scared, and some of you guys came to the hospital with me, and others took class notes I missed that day. It turned out mine wasn’t a match. But I love y’all for having my back, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make us closer. I just appreciateyou guys.”
There were more stories that were just as impactful; I couldn’t believe I hadn’t experienced all that with them. I was on line with these girls but completely separated from everything they had shared. In some ways, I wished I could have been there for them. I had thought it was all about the hazing, all just about the mental strife, but there was much more. It clearly was about sisterhood on a level I wanted, longed for, and needed. I had been distant for far too long.
Moved, I stood up and said, “All right, I know y’all have issues with me because I haven’t gone through all the stuff you guys have gone through. But now that the alumnae ladies have gone to bed, I’m just going to keep it real. I really appreciate hearing all you have shared. I know you all have already bonded, but y’all don’t need to go through anything extra with those crazy girls. Unify and tell them no more. I just felt I had to say that.”
Cassie came over to me and said, “I don’t really want to go through anything else, but we’re in so deep, and they won’t back down. We need help. You get special privileges because your mom is National President. We don’t have that same nest to fall back on. You got to help us.”
I got several looks that were different from the hard ones I’d gotten the night we became Pis. The girls looked tired and worn out. Like they truly hated they were being mentally and physically beat down.
Seeing uncertainty on my face, Cassie said, “You got to find a way to break us from all this.”
“I’ll try,” I said, as we all hugged.
So much more bonding and talking went on that night that for the first time in a while, I was a happy to be a part of their group. Life was hard, but having people there to help you weather the storm was a blessing.
On Sunday evening, the Eagle Weekend was over. Torian, Loni, and I hated to leave, but an hour later, we were back at my place. We sat in the car and just talked about everythingwe had experienced that weekend.
“That was so moving, y’all,” Torian said.
“Yeah, I’m glad to know everybody a little bit more,” Loni confessed.
Torian said, “So, you know, Malloy, we really got to try to stop this underground stuff. You’ve got to catch them in the act or something. We have to figure out some kind of way where they don’t have to go through any of that.”
“How am I supposed to catch them? I’m not following anyone.” I looked at her like she was crazy.
Torian sighed like she really wanted me to hear her out. “Cassie said she would give me a call, she’d give me a text, she’d do something to let me know when they were doing underground stuff. When I get the word I just want to know you’re going to be down. You’re the only one who can make sure the hazng will stop and we can all still be Betas.”
“I don’t know if I can do anything like that.”
“You’ve got more of a chance than we do,” Torian said as Loni nodded.
I went inside and found five messages, none from Kade. Not that I expected him to go back on what I had forced him to do. But I did miss him so. The messages were all from Sirena, saying the house was cool, saying she was checking on me, wondering why I hadn’t come back, hopingI’d come over for tea. She needed a life, and I couldn’t call her now to check in, I was too tired. The weekend had been too draining. I had given so much that when my phone rang, I ignored it and drifted off to sleep.
“These girls better not be doing anything,” I said out loud to myself as I picked up the ringing phone hours later. “Hello?”
“Girl, we’re coming to get you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Cassie just texted us. They’re out.”
Frustrated, I said, “It’s two in the morning.”
“I know. They’re driving the big sisters around, and they’re doing something with the University of SoutheasternArkansas girls.”
Mad that the Betas couldn’t leave well enough I alone, I said, “Are you serious?”
“Yes. They want you to take some pictures and send it to your mom.”
“All right, I’ll be ready.”
When we got in the car we drove to where Cassie had said they would be. It was an abandoned warehouse I’d never seen in my two years in the college town. There were over ten cars haphazardly parked around it.
At three ten in the morning, I eased up from the backseatand said, “This is crazy. I’m tired of spying. They are too grown to be putting up with stuff they don’t want to do.”
“Yeah, but you know it’s just not that easy to tell them to stop. Malloy, you know nobody wants to be branded like the three of us are,” Torian reminded.
“The three of us are smart. How about that?” I said to the two of them as I tapped them on the shoulders.
“Wait, I’m getting a text,” Torian said as she reached for her ringing mobile. “Cassie says Keisha—I guess she got in trouble last year for doing so much on the line—has been drinking.”
“Drinking?” Loni said.
“She says they’re coming out to get something,”
All of a sudden, the door swung open, and four girls came swaggering out. The largest girl was waving keys around and couldn’t even walk straight. And she was so loud we could hear her yelling at Cassie even with our windows up. I knew they were drunk.
“There’s Sharon,” I said.
It was wintertime, and she had on a coat, so my friends couldn’t tell what was really going on. I knew there was a baby hidden in there. The fourth girl I remembered from Eagle Weekend; she was from the University of SoutheasternArkansas.
“Yep, there’s that Keisha girl,” Torian said, pointing to the larger girl.
Loni said, “You know everybody.”
“Yeah, I tried to get to know them, thinking they would like me. I didn’t know she was going to leave school becauseshe put your girl Sharon in the ho
spital last year.”
Offended, I hit her on the head and said, “Don’t trip. She is not my girl.”
We watched as they got in the car. Keisha was in the driver’s seat. Sharon took the passenger seat. If Keisha was a fool and had severely harmed Sharon last year, why was Sharon with her? Why were they letting Keisha drive? Peopledid stupid things.
“Where are they taking them now? How come everybodyelse isn’t leaving? What should we do?” Torian asked in an uneasy tone.
“I don’t know. Cassie is getting in the car with them.” Loni stuck her head out the window to get a closer look. “Why do they have her hands all tied up? This is so crazy.”
“Yeah, they’re doing something foolish with her. Let’s follow them,” I said when they took off.
We tried to stay back, but Keisha was driving so fast, Torian had to break the speed limit to catch her. No sooner had we thought they should slow down than Keisha veered off the road, and her car slammed into a tree.
Torian abruptly pulled over and started screaming. When I saw the car, I was in shock, too. It was practically wrapped around the tree. Four people were in there. Loni started shaking like she was having a panic attack. Seeing this horrendous scene, all three of us were about to break.
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“Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh!!” Torian continued to scream.
The three of us unlocked our car doors, and we ran over to the car. All we could see was blood, glass, and still bodies.
“Does someone have their phone? Hand me a phone!” I yelled, trying desperately to hold it together and get help. “We have to call the police!”
“I don’t think they’re going to be able to do something now,” Loni said as she cried.
“Here, t—take mine.” Torian handed it to me, clearly shaken and unable to talk.
“There has been an accident. Come quickly,” I said to the 911 operator as I gave specific directions on where I thought we were and what we’d just witnessed.
“Any movement in the vehicle, ma’am?” the female operator asked me.
Thinking I’d see none, I quickly looked and was elated to be wrong. “Oh, my gosh! Somebody’s moving! Come quickly, please! You got to come quick! There is movementin the back of the car. Please!”
The calm voice of the operator said, “Help is on the way.” The three of us joined hands and huddled together. Loni’s tears got stronger. Torian looked as if she’d seen a ghost. We all were in shock and wanted to do something to help.
I immediately prayed. “Lord we need you right now. The folks in this car need a miracle, Lord. I know hazing and drinking and driving are wrong, but as college students,we make mistakes. We don’t have it together. We need grace.”
“Everybody needs to know what’s going on. Everybody’s got to know. We gotta go tell them!” Torian said, shouting.
Shaking her, I said, “Yeah, but somebody needs to stay here.”
“I can’t go anywhere. I can’t leave,” Loni said.
“It’s okay. I’ll go,” I said, taking the keys from Torian. “Talk into the car. Let them know we’re getting help.”
I got back to the abandoned warehouse, and it seemed like there were more cars than before. The door was unlocked,and I didn’t know if I should knock. I didn’t have to be sweet; lives were hanging in the balance. When I stepped through the door, a Beta named Trisha came to the door with Bea. I saw Tammie positioned at the front of the line. I shook my head, and Tammie knew all wasn’t great with Cassie.
Trisha took my collar and said, “What, so now you want to wake up and smell the coffee? You want a part of this? How did you know where we were, scrub?”
“First of all, you need to get your hands off me, and second of all, there was an accident.” I jerked away.
Bea said, “What you mean, an accident? All of us are here.”
“No, big sister!” Mulani shouted. “Big Sister Mean MachineKeisha and Cassie went to the twenty-four-hour Wal-Mart.”
Trisha’s eyes became large. “Keisha? She’s been in an accident?”
Hating to deliver horrible news to anyone, I said, “It doesn’t look good at all.”
“My line sister Rose was with her!” Jackie said. I rememberedher, she was a Beta from the University of SoutheasternArkansas who I’d met on my birthday.
Rose had been the girl I didn’t know. So it appeared she was from the other college. This was hard. Now two schools were involved in this bad accident.
Bea said, “And Sharon is with her, too. She’s pregnant!”
“What?” Trisha said.
This didn’t shock me, but clearly everybody didn’t know. Besides Kade telling me, no other word had gotten to me about it. Putting aside how I felt about her pregnancy, I could only pray she would walk away unhurt from the car accident.
“Where’s Hayden?” I asked, knowing the highest chapterofficer needed to be in on what was going on.
“Hayden never participated in any of this stuff,” Trishasaid as she paced back and forth.
I stood by Jackie and eyed Trisha seriously. “We need to call her. She’s the president. She needs to be there.”
“Uh-uh, she can’t know,” Trisha said. “Let’s go, everybody.”
“Maybe I wasn’t clear about how bad things are. Police are on the way. What you’re doing is illegal. Everyone doesn’t need to come.” I shook Trisha hard, trying to get her to understand that the accident was not really somethingeverybody needed to come and see.
“Okay, I’ll call Hayden. everybody else, stay here,” Trisha said. “Bea and I will be back.”
Trisha and Bea got in the car with me; they were so upset they couldn’t drive either. I’d never seen the big sisters so on edge. I could only pray things would be better than when I’d left the scene. When we got there, there was an ambulance,fire truck, and three police cars. When I saw Torian being restrained by Loni and an officer, unable to be controlledand sick with grief, I knew the worst had occurred.
“Oh, my gosh, somebody’s dead,” Trisha said, taking in the horrific scene.
“How many people were in the car?” Bea asked.
“There was four of them,” I said,
“Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!” Bea collapsed as she saw the mangled steel that had used to be an automobile.
Loni spotted me and let Torian be held by the officer. She jogged over. I felt knots in my stomach.
“The girl from the University of Southeastern Arkansas is dead, Malloy,” she cried as my arms held her. “We didn’t see it, but she was ejected and thrown from the car. They found her body in the woods. They said she wasn’t wearinga seatbelt, and the immediate death was caused by head injury and a broken neck.”
“Oh, my gosh,” Trisha said, grabbing her waist.
“Oh, no,” I said.
“Not Rose!” Jackie cried.
I held Jackie tight. As bad as I felt, I knew Jackie felt ten times worse. I was so angry at this whole pledge process. Why they felt the old-school way was so important was beyond me. Now their crazy actions had cost someone their life.
“What about Sharon, Cassie, and Keisha?” I lifted Loni and asked.
After Loni collected herself, she said, “Keisha was driving, and she suffered a massive head injury. She is badly hurt. Sharon is, too.”
Bea asked, “And the baby?”
“There’s a baby? She’s not even conscious. They don’t know anything. They’re just rushing them to the hospital.Cassie is the one they think is most out of danger.”
Trisha, Bea, and I were happy for that.
“What have we done?” Bea said to a shaking Trisha as we saw the rescue workers carry a body with a sheet over it.
Trisha fell to her knees and shouted, “We were just tryingto have a little fun, and now somebody’s gone! Oh, God, forgive me!”
I had never seen somebody’s body under a sheet. I’ve never seen a real crime scene or been involved in any type of horrific accident, but there I stood, watch
ing the rescueworkers. I felt numb. Maybe I shouldn’t have let the four of them get in the car. Maybe I should have confronted Keisha and told her she didn’t need to drive. I had clearly seen she was staggering. Because I was called to get some evidence to stop the hazing, I had wanted to catch the Betas doing something that would give my mom enough leverage to take over the line and stop the madness.
But I had known what was going on. Why hadn’t I called my mom? Why hadn’t I just ratted them out and told her what I knew? Then two police officers walked toward me. They started asking questions about Rose. “Officers, this was clearly an accident!” Trisha yelled after we could sense they were overly strong with us. “The driver herself isn’t even available to tell you what happened. How do you expect any of us to know? We weren’t here. We didn’t see it.”
“Young lady, calm down. Somebody called this in. We can trace the cell phone if we have to. Someone saw something.”The officer looked at me as though I was holding back valuable information.
Not helping, Loni gave me a slight bump. Trisha couldn’t even look my way. I knew I was supposed to speak up, but what was I supposed to say? On top of everything that had happened, we just needed to unite and get through this. I needed time to think. I needed to see if Keisha was going to survive before I went and put the blame on her. Plus, I held myself responsible. I should have stopped Keisha from driving. It just had all happened so fast. Finally I spoke. “Officer, we were driving home and saw a car lose controland crash into a tree.”
“And who was in the car with you, ma’am?”
I pointed to Torian, who was still with the other officer,and then I pointed to Loni.
“Is that what happened?” he asked Loni.
She nodded.
“Well, let me get your information, and if we need to ask you anything further, we will at a later time.”
“Sir, I just want to know ...” Trisha said as she got really close to me, and then I smelled alcohol on her as well.
I pushed her backward. “She’s doesn’t have anything to say, officer.”
The Way We Roll Page 10