by A. m Madden
Caught in his net, I nod mechanically. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that I would follow him to hell. Jack leads me into the hallway and then up a short flight of stairs. He turns to me just as he’s about to open a door and I first notice his eyes are slightly unfocused.
Crap. Is he drunk?
This could be a huge mistake. Drunken Jack and Horny Leila...oh fuck.
He opens the door to a beautiful rooftop hangout. I gasp from the view. It’s simply breathtaking. Jack smiles at my reaction. There are mini Christmas lights strung along the perimeter. There are a few plastic patio tables with chairs. There is a tacky pleather couch against the wall under an overhang.
“Wow, Jack this is incredible. If I lived here I would never leave.”
“I spend a lot of time up here. I love to come up and play my guitar. I become very inspired. A lot of my songs were written up here.”
“Why is the party not here?”
“Ssh… this is my secret. I’m not sure we are even allowed up here. No one in the building knows about it or uses it, so I’ve declared it mine.” He smiles devilishly and motions towards the couch. “Want to sit a while?”
He walks me over to the couch and sits close. I can feel every nerve in my body pulsing from his proximity. We quietly enjoy the cool night air and the spectacular view.
“I really loved your show. Your band is very talented.”
“Thanks. It’s nice to hear from someone who doesn’t live in Hoboken. We tend to forget that there’s a whole other world out there.”
“I get that. The same thing happened to us. Playing the same bars over and over, seeing the same faces. You get very comfortable and complacent.”
“Well, things worked out for you guys.”
“Us guys.” He corrects.
“You guys. I had nothing to do with your success.”
“You will. Once we tour and our fans hear your voice, you will be linked to our success.”
I quietly contemplate his words. Am I ready for that?
“So what’s the deal with Matt?” His question breaks my reverie.
“Matt?”
“Sore subject?”
Matt is who Jack wants to talk about? What the hell?
Laying my head back against the couch I look up at the night sky.
“What’s the deal with Matt? Hmmm…that’s a loaded question.”
“He seems angry at the world.” Jack’s met him all of five minutes, and he’s pegged him perfectly.
“You can say that, sometimes. There are also times when he can be Mr. Wonderful. Not sure what happened there. He is opposite his brother Logan.”
“Now that I’ve met them, it’s hard to believe they are even related.”
“Yep, it is.” I avoid Jack’s gaze, I continue to stare up at the beautiful star filled sky. I can’t help but wonder why Jack has fixated on Matt.
“You two have chemistry.” His blunt statement doesn’t squelch my curiosity. I don’t see why he would care if we did have chemistry, which we most definitely do not.
“No we don’t.”
“From where I sat it sure looked that way.” Jack takes a quick swig of the tequila, and leans back against the back of the couch, now avoiding my gaze.
If he only knew that the reason I acted that way was because I was fantasizing about him the entire time. Jack waits patiently for me to continue. I want him to know that I am not attracted to Matt and don’t want to be linked to him ever again so I decide to fess up.
“Well he and I dated, twice. Once during high school for less than a year. The second time a few years later for even less than that.”
“So you do have chemistry.”
“No, we have history.”
Taking another drink of tequila he then asks, “Why did you guys break up twice?”
“Damn, you’re nosey.”
Shrugging, he continues to watch me brazenly, waiting for my response.
Fine, he wants to know details? I’ll give him details. I shift sideways on the couch to face him and he does the same, our knees practically touching. “The first time was in high school. I guess I out grew him. He was stuck. The second was a few years later. I thought he matured and gave it another shot. Then he cheated. No strike three after that, I’m afraid. Cheating is a hard limit for me.”
Talking about Matt cheating on me spurs my insecurities with relationships. As if possessed, I continue explaining our demise to Jack. “He’s ruined me in a sense. Trust is a huge factor in why I’m still single and not attached. Even after almost four years.”
Jack regards me quietly, processing my words. “My ex-girlfriend also cheated.” That’s all he says. He doesn’t explain or elaborate in any way. I just spilled my guts and that’s all he’s going to give me. He leans back, watching the night sky, dropping his end of the conversation.
“When?”
He waits a few seconds to respond. His pregnant pause is a clear indication he was also hurt. “A long time ago. You can say she also ruined me, in a sense.” He says, his tone harsh and filled with resentment. Who the hell would cheat on Jack? What an idiot.
“Well aren’t we a pair?”
“Their loss.” Jack remembers the bottle in his hand and takes a long swig of the tequila. Turning towards me, his position shifting him closer where our knees are now touching. He makes no attempt to move them away.
“To ditching our cheating exes.” He leans closer and offers me the bottle of tequila.
I shake my head and groan. “Ugh, I hate tequila.”
“Come on, have one sip. You have to accept my toast. It’s bad luck otherwise.”
“Fine. To ditching our exes.” Taking the bottle I take a small sip. I steal a peak at Jack and note that he is trying his hardest not to laugh.
“What?”
“You are so cute.”
My heart pounds noisily in my chest. He’s just flirting. I’ve gotten to know him enough to know it comes naturally to him, but it still ignites my insides.
Suddenly he leans closer and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. I unconsciously tilt my head and enjoy his warm touch as he caresses my earlobe. I’m falling under his spell and I can’t look away from those gorgeous, stormy eyes. I have never had a pull towards someone like I do towards him.
He shifts his gaze down to my lips. “You’re also so beautiful.”
My breath catches from his words. Slowly, he closes his eyes and moves towards me slipping his hand into my hair, pulling me closer until his lips softly touch mine. His breath smells of tequila and his lips are warm and firm. Surprise, shock, desire all swirl in my head as I accept his kiss. Our kiss lasts for three seconds. It may not seem like a long time, but it’s enough time to know I want to continue and now that I’ve tasted him, I’ll never forget it. Three seconds is also enough time for me to subconsciously realize that this is a bad idea...real bad.
An involuntary gasp leaves my “still tingling from his kiss” lips. Pulling away, his hold prevents me to go far. With our faces still inches apart and Jack’s eyes still closed, my deep desire to close the distance between us wreaks havoc on my logical, rational side.
Jack suddenly snaps back to reality. “Shit. I’m sorry Leila. I’ve had a lot to drink.” He pulls further away, but his hand remains at the back of my head, his fingers wrapped in my hair in a desperate hold.
I want nothing more at this moment but to continue kissing him. And if I had a bit more to drink, I may not have been able to stop. Clarity is the only thing that stops me. Clearly seeing my future balanced precariously on this cliff gives me the strength to pull farther away. I woodenly reach up to take hold of his wrist, pulling his hand from my hair. “I should go.”
Taking hold of my hand before I had the chance to pull it away, he wills me to look at his face. “I’m really sorry.” His apology is genuine, and I believe him. The problem is me I don’t trust at the moment.
“I know.”
His hand releases mine, but his eyes
hold me hostage inexorably and will me to forgive him.
I walk towards the door and look over one last time to see Jack sit heavily on the couch with his head in his hands. I desperately want to go back to comfort him, but that would be as irresponsible as continuing where we left off. Because surely touching him in any way at the moment would open my floodgates.
I quickly make my way back down to the party, which is still in full swing. As I cautiously enter the apartment, I feel like I have a huge blinking sign above my head that says, “I JUST KISSED JACK”.
Thankfully, no one seems to notice. Lori and Trey are sitting close in a corner, totally engrossed in each other. The others haven’t moved much during my absence either. The couples are still on the couch chatting. Evan has now joined Matt and Joe at the drinking game table. I decide to walk over to the couch and sit next to Alisa. Their conversation stops to acknowledge my intrusion. I pretend to be listening as I smile robotically.
Instead, I become absorbed in remembering his soft, warm, lips on mine. Where would it have led if I hadn’t stopped him? We haven’t even started working together, and we almost crossed a line already. I’m so lost in thought that I don’t even realize Patti is calling my name until Alisa nudges me.
“I’m sorry?” I ask looking confused.
“I asked you if you were having fun. You look like you are going to be sick.”
“I’m fine.” I lie. “Tequila and I don’t mix.” To change the subject, I continue, “Patti, I just want to thank you for getting me that audition.” The spunky blonde sitting on Scott’s lap smiles warmly at me.
“No need to thank me Leila. You got that job on your own. I merely opened the door for you. I knew you would be perfect for these guys.” She gives Scott a chaste kiss and jumps right back into their conversation. This leaves me to my own thoughts again, allowing me to slip back into my daze.
I must have been out of it for a long time, because when I glance around the room I notice the crowd has thinned considerably. Trey and Lori are missing, as is almost every girl. But then again Jack is still upstairs, which is probably why every female has disappeared.
Evan comes over and puts his hands on my shoulders. “Are you ready to go? You don’t look so good.”
“What time is it?”
“It’s almost two, I think. I’m ready if you want to leave.”
“Sure, I’m sober if you want me to drive.”
“Nope, I’m good. I only had one beer.”
“Ok. Let me find Lori.” Have she and Trey found their way up to the roof or are they behind closed doors? Conflicted, I really don’t want to knock on a door that is the only thing separating me from a writhing Lori and Trey. I also don’t want to go up to the roof and face Jack, either.
I really should say goodnight to him regardless. I shouldn’t leave on such uncomfortable terms. It’s not entirely his fault. He may have initiated the kiss, but I willingly participated for three seconds. Taking the steps to the roof, I slowly open the door.
It’s quiet, too quiet. Jack is still on the couch, joined now by a blond and a brunette. It takes me a few seconds to realize what I’m seeing. The blond is nibbling on one ear, the brunette on the other. His eyes are closed, and he turns his head towards the brunette. They start making out and I can’t stop staring. Getting a good look at them, they are life size versions of Barbie dolls, with long legs and huge boobs.
As the blonde kisses her way down his chest, she slides her hand inside the waistband of his jeans. Jack pulls away from the brunette’s lips and watches the blond through hooded eyes. He must sense my presence, because he shifts his gaze and locks eyes with me. I am frozen as he stares for a few seconds and blinks confusedly. Abruptly, he pushes the girls away and stands.
The brunette looks up at him and pouts. “Where are you goin’ baby?” Jack stands awkwardly between the fake boob twins with his shirt hiked up exposing his delicious abs and his jeans unbuttoned to reveal he wears black Calvin Klein boxer briefs. Forgetting he was just getting it on with two girls, my eyes drink in every inch of his hard body.
One of the fake boob twins says, “What the fuck?” and breaks me out of my trance. They both look at me like they are ready to take me down if necessary. I clearly interrupted their private party. Jack slowly takes a few steps forward, and I instinctively move back.
What the hell? Does he want me to join in?
Before he has a chance to say anything, I blurt out “We are going.”
“Leila…wait!”
Like a bat out of hell I run down the stairs and into the apartment. Evan has already found Lori, who looks completely sated, and asks, “Where were you?”
“Um, I went to tell Jack we were leaving. I’m ready.” I hastily grab my bag and wave a good-bye to anyone who is watching. Then I run out the door, down that stairs, and straight to Evan’s car so fast that I beat them by a full minute.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Evan says panting as he opens my door. “I’ve never seen you acting like this.”
“You look like you saw a ghossssst.” Lori slurs. She’s bombed. I hope she makes it to Hoboken without hurling. That would be the cherry on my night. “Traaaayyyy is sooo hot!” she says smiling at me. “He is soooooo sweet too.”
Sweet? Trey?
“Thanks for into…intro…putting us together. Jack was a waste of time.”
Turning towards her I ask, “Why?”
“He kept looking at you.” With that, Lori passes out. Evan seems lost in his own thoughts. I almost wonder if I just imagined what Lori said. She has no idea what she’s talking about. He was just going at it with two girls at once.
Shit…a threesome? How often has Mr. Lair participated in them? Is that why he kept looking at me? Is that why he came on to me? Is he a man-whore?
Here I thought he was upstairs battling with what happened between us, like I was doing downstairs. Instead he is upstairs about to have a threesome.
Evan glances at me. “What’s going on with you?”
I love him, but is simply cannot get into this with him right now.
“Nothing, why?”
“You’re acting very strange.” He waits a few seconds and asks, “Well?”
“Can we talk about it tomorrow?”
Staring at the road he sighs. “Fine.”
He’s not going to be happy if I confess everything. I’m going to have to withhold some info or Evan will undoubtedly kick Jack’s ass if he hears every erotic detail.
Chapter 12- Jack
What the fuck just happened?
Basically I seduced my new band member and then she walked in on me going at it with two women.
Fucking perfect.
I didn’t mean to kiss her. It sounds so cliché to blame it on the tequila, especially since I wasn’t that drunk yet, but it did trigger my desire to want to taste her lips. Staring into her gorgeous eyes didn’t help with matters either.
They were as soft as I imagined. I could have kissed her all night, if she had let me. That’s another internal battle. What if she hadn’t stopped me? How far would it have gone? The thought is terrifying, because if she hadn’t stopped me I don’t think I would have.
Once she ran, I knew I needed to go after her, but I was too much of a coward. So I sat, drank more and then passed out. Suddenly, I felt someone kissing me.
My first thought was she came back. Returning her kiss, I opened my eyes to see Michelle coaxing me awake while her girlfriend Jan giggled beside her. These two are a couple that enjoy spicing things up with men.
I said something like, “Sorry girls, but I’m too drunk to move.”
They both saw this as a green light. Jan giggled some more and said, “No need to move baby. We’ll do all the work.”
I clumsily sat up with the intent to walk away, but they held me down to my spot on the couch, effectively winning that battle. They made out with each other. They made out with me. They felt me up. Tequila or not, my body responded immediatel
y. It wasn’t the first time we got it on, but it’s been a while. For fuck’s sake, our reunion couldn’t have been at a worst time. I fully submitted, allowing them complete access, having no clue we were being watched.
Seeing Leila staring at me a few feet away shocked me sober. I pushed away from the girls at once, but she looked disgusted, right before she ran away. Ten minutes later and she would have seen a lot worst.
“Girls I’m done.” They laughed at first, until they realized I was serious. I asked them to leave and they stormed off while cursing me out in the process. Whatever.
SHIT!
She was not supposed to see that. How the fuck am I going to fix this?
As I sit glued to this plastic couch, a horrible thought pops into my head. What if the girls are harassing Leila for ruining their good time? I frantically make my way back to my apartment to make sure they are gone. The apartment is quieter now that only a few people are lulling around. No sign of Michelle or Jan. There is also no sign of Leila, or her friends.
Hunter and Amanda are on the couch with Scott and Patti. There are still a group of partiers drinking heavily in the kitchen. Hunter looks up and immediately knows what state I am in.
“Sleep it off man.” He says giving me permission to bail. I am going to anyway, but his consent makes it easier to hide away in my room.
“Make sure no one bothers me.”
Some of the girls try in vain to get my attention. Taking the tequila with me, I head for my room, locking the door behind me. I try calling Leila’s phone, but it goes right to voice mail.
“Leila, it’s Jack. I am so sorry. Please call me back tomorrow. I want to talk to you.”
I resume my tequila binge until the bottle is empty, puke my brains out and then expertly pass out.
What seems like minutes later, I wake from someone banging on my door. They may as well be hitting me over the head with a sledgehammer. I stumble out of bed with the intent to beat the living shit out of whoever it is.
I scream, “WHAT THE FUCK!” into Hunter’s face and take a step closer as he instinctively takes a step back.
He throws his hands up in surrender and says, “Goddamn it Jack, I thought you were dead. I’ve been pounding on this door and calling your cell phone and I didn’t hear a peep from you. For all I knew you hit your head on the toilet and choked on your own vomit.”