by Joyce Nance
“What’s he going to do?” Detective Hayes asked, walking over. “Did John tell you what his next move was?”
“I told you I haven’t seen him. How would I know what he’s going to do next? I know less than you do.”
Loud banging and yelling could be heard inside John’s apartment as the SWAT team conducted its search. Outside, Crystal was questioned. The cops wanted her first and last name, her social security number and a look at her driver’s license. They told her they were adding her information to the local database. Smoke curled through Crystal’s gritted teeth.
Ultimately the police emerged empty handed. They left shortly thereafter.
Crystal was furious at the police, but more so at John. She pulled her suitcase out of the closet and packed up to leave. She wanted out of Albuquerque and out of New Mexico. She needed to get back to Colorado, ASAP.
Her original flight was scheduled to depart at three that afternoon, but now that wasn’t soon enough. She called the airline to inquire about changing her departure time. They informed her there would be additional fees if she altered her flight. With no extra cash to spare, she was forced to stay.
***
Esther rubber her forehead in an unsuccessful effort to make her monster headache go away, and tried to think. The only thing she could focus on was the fact that everything in her life was going wrong, wrong, wrong. John was really mad at her. The cops had just been in her house and they had asked her tons of questions. She had tried as hard as she could to be honest — but not too honest, which was a tough line to walk.
When the police left, they made it very clear that they were going to locate John and arrest him. Esther felt sure John would want to know about these latest developments. He would be furious, of course, if she violated the no-contact rule again, but she felt duty-bound to inform him.
She grabbed her keys and drove the short distance to his house.
11 PM
John decided before he left town that he needed to go back to his apartment and find out what was up. With Shane at his side, he knocked on his own front door.
Crystal glared at him when she answered, but he ignored the look. He brushed past her, scanning for hidden police officers. She appeared to be alone.
“What’s going on?” she demanded.
“No one’s here?” John asked.
“No.”
“You sure?” he said, twisting his head in all directions.
“No one’s here now, but they were. The cops were here — the SWAT was, and they were looking for you. They’re still looking for you, and looking hard. They said they might be back.”
“Shit. What else did they say?”
“They said you stuck a gun to some kid’s head,” Crystal sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I can’t believe all this, John. Why’d you have to go and do all this shit now? I was having a good time. I used my vacation to come here.” She looked him in the eye. “You fucking put a gun to a kid’s head? Why?”
John stared at her.
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said flatly. “I don’t have time. I gotta get goin’ before the cops get back. I gotta get my shit outta here and i gotta get outta here. Now.”
John walked to the closet, Shane silently shadowing him. John didn’t understand Shane most of the time. He wanted to trust him but he didn’t think he could. He didn’t understand why sometimes he seemed to have diarrhea of the mouth, and other times he was a fucking mute. John decided he was just another weird ex-con and he would have to keep an eye on him, but right now he needed help and he could not afford to be picky.
John opened his closet. “Always best to clean your shit up before any search warrants get here,” he explained as he loosened a panel in the back of the closet. He pulled out a small baseball bat, a snub-nose revolver and a stun gun, tossing them on the floor.
“Yup, you’re probably gonna need all that,” Shane said, nodding his approval.
A couple of minutes later John bustled toward the front door holding a hard brown suitcase. “Gotta go,” he said.
Crystal stood post at the door, arms crossed. “Aren’t you going to tell me what is going on?”
“I told you, I don’t want to talk about it,” John said, coming to a halt in front of her.
“I need to know,” she said, lips quivering, voice shaking. “I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
“I can’t help it, babe. I gotta leave now.” He pushed her aside. “Cops might be back any minute. If I don’t get gone, I’m gonna get got.”
He kissed her on the cheek and walked out the door. “I’ll call you,” he said, hustling down the stairs.
***
Esther pounded on John’s door and screamed that she needed to talk to her boyfriend.
Crystal opened the door. “He’s not here,” she said, mouth set.
“I’ll wait for him then,” Esther said. “I need to tell him something.”
“Well, you’re going to have to wait outside. I’m not letting you in here.”
“Fine. I’ll wait in the parking lot. I’ll wait all night if I have to.”
“Fine.”
***
Esther did not end up staying after all. She drove away when the cops showed up again. The police did not stay long, either. They said they were just checking to see if John had come back. When they left, John returned. He wanted an update on his legal status.
“They’re still looking for you, that’s all,” Crystal told him. “They want to arrest you. Surprised?”
“Shut up, Crystal. I don’t need that shit from you.”
“From me? Why don’t you tell me what you’re doing? Why was that woman here?”
“Woman? What woman?” John did a slow burn as he realized which woman she was talking about. “Damn it, Esther.”
Crystal started crying. “Why’re you treating me like this, John? Disrespecting me?”
John did not answer. His face was sullen.
“You told me I was the only one and now some other slut shows up and says you’re her boyfriend. What the fuck is that about? I thought we had an exclusive relationship.” She put her hands on her hips.
“Look, lady. I like having you here and all, but I’m single and any women I spend time with are just friends. That’s it, friends. I don’t care what she says. I am not her boyfriend.”
Crystal didn’t know what to believe. She was beginning to think that everything John said was a lie.
“She sure didn’t seem like she was just a friend,” she said, tears streaming down her face.
“Well, that’s what she is,” John said stoically.
“I think you’re a liar, John Lausell. She called you her fucking boyfriend. You are, aren’t you? Her fucking boyfriend?”
John turned, strode to the closet and grabbed a jacket. When his back was turned, Crystal picked up a drinking glass from the end table and threw it at him. The glass shattered loudly against the wall, barely missing his head.
Crystal looked around for something else to throw but John grabbed her from behind.
“Hey,” he said. “I don’t care how mad you are. Stop throwing shit and shut the fuck up. You’re gonna get the cops back here in about two seconds. I gotta go now,” he said, and slammed the door behind him.
As soon as he left, Crystal resumed screaming and throwing anything within reach. But for whatever reason, the police did not return that evening.
Eventually Crystal grew weary and went to bed.
February 18, 1996
The next day, Crystal woke up feeling terrible. Her hair was limp, her make-up smeared, and her nicest white blouse, which she ended up sleeping in, had a big red blotch on it.
Her vacation to Albuquerque had officially become a train wreck. Everything had been going so well too, dazzling really, but now it was all fucked up. Why in God’s name did John have to go and see that psycho bitch anyway? That’s when everything w
ent to hell.
She tried a deep breathing exercise her ex-sister-in-law had taught her to relax and empty the growing anger from her head. It didn’t help.
Someone knocked on the door. She thought it might be that crazy Esther again. She hoped to God it was so she could kill her for ruining her life. Sadly, it was only Shane, saying he needed to grab a few more items for John.
John called while Shane was there. Skipping any niceties, John asked Crystal if she had any money.
“What?” Crystal said angrily. “You get yourself in trouble with another woman, wreck my vacation and now you want to take my last dollar? You’re crazier than I thought. I don’t want anything to do with you.”
“I know you’re hot at me,” John said calmly. “I don’t blame you. But look, I’ve got to get out of town and wait for this shit to quiet down. I told you that woman was trouble. Do you believe me now? She really screwed us up.”
No response.
“Come on, babe, help me out. I just need some money for gas. It’ll get worked out and then maybe we can get back together. I sure the hell can’t do anything to make it right with you if they throw me back in the joint, now can I?”
After another long pause, Crystal said mournfully, “I guess not.”
“Okay, then. Can you kick me back something? I gotta leave right now, before they track me down.”
“You said you were leaving last night.”
“That’s when I figured out I didn’t have the money to get anywhere. I need enough to get to Pueblo.”
“Pueblo?” she said in shock. “You can’t go there. That’s where I live. I just told you I don’t want to see you right now.”
“Calm down, calm down. I know that’s where you live but that’s where Shane’s mom lives too, and I need somewhere safe to stay.”
“I don’t want anything to do with you when you get there. I need time to think.”
“Fine. We’re probably only gonna stay at his mom’s for a day or two anyway, and then I’ll find somewhere else to go. I won’t bother you.” John took a deep breath. “So, can you help me out?”
Crystal remained silent while she considered her options. Finally she said, “I guess. I’ve only got about $55 left and I’ve gotta have at least five bucks to get home when I land.”
“Fifty bucks! That’s great,” John said, relieved. “That should get me where I’m going and then some. Give the money to Shane since he’s already there and he’ll give it to me. I’ll get this all straightened out before you know it. Thanks, babe. I owe you.”
Chapter 7
“Do not spit in the well - you may be thirsty by and by.”
RUSSIAN PROVERB
Pueblo, Colorado
Crystal sat in her darkened living room with an ice pack on her head, trying to regroup. She knew she had to go to work the following day, but she was too exhausted to unpack or even get her uniform ready. She felt lousy. Her trip to Albuquerque had sucked the life out of her, and it would take a while to recover. She wasn’t used to being treated so poorly.
Bad thoughts leapfrogged in her head as she drifted off in her hand-me-down armchair.
She wasn’t sure how long she had been asleep when her Chihuahua mix's barking jolted her awake. There were headlights in the driveway.
Oh no, she thought.
***
“I don’t have the strength for this,” Crystal said, but opened the door anyway. John and Shane walked in.
John knew Crystal would be mad, but he decided he would rather hide out at her duplex than Shane’s mom’s house. He still had his doubts about the man standing next to him.
“Look babe, I’m sorry about the shit that happened before,” John said. “The situation got away from me. Could I just stay here for tonight, ’til I find somewhere else?”
Crystal glared at him.
“I could sleep on the couch, I don’t care.”
“I don’t want you here. You cause me nothing but trouble. Take your weird friend and get out.”
“Come on babe, it’s just for one night.”
“Bullshit. You said you were going to his mom’s and now you’re not. When are you gonna stop lying to me?”
“I’m not lying. We’re still gonna go tomorrow, but it’s late and Shane says his mom goes to bed early.”
“I don’t care, John. I don’t want you guys here. Get out.”
***
John decided his conversation with Crystal was going nowhere, so he told her to forget it. He said they were going to Shane’s mom’s house in Colorado Springs after all, and left.
The drive to Colorado Springs took about thirty minutes.
“I think her house is right down this street,” Shane said as they approached a crumbling 1950s-style development.
“What color’s the house?” John asked.
“I haven’t been here in like five years, but it was blue, with a white picket fence.”
John squinted into the darkness. “Okay, blue house with a white fence. You got an address?”
“Nah, I don’t remember it. It’s 33-something. Maybe on Pineridge or Woodridge or some kinda ridge. There’s Greenridge right up there.” He turned his head quickly. “Hey, is that it? No-oo, that’s not it. I can’t see ’cause it’s so dark out, but I know it’s right around here somewhere.”
“Oka-ay. You told me you knew where you were going.”
“Hey, dude! Look at that girl over there. On the corner,” Shane said out of nowhere. “She looks just like my girlfriend Raina.”
John looked at Shane. “Girlfriend? Raina? I thought she was a fucking lesbian.”
“Yeah, she is, but we’re sleeping together now,” Shane said, smiling.
John crinkled his face. “Huh?”
“I conquered her. I made her go straight.”
“You’re lyin’.” John looked unsure.
“Yeah, it’s true. She said I was the only guy she ever wanted to be with.” Shane smiled big. “For real.”
“Whatever you say, man.” John grabbed Shane’s upper arm. “Look, dude. We gotta focus. We gotta find this damn house. It’s getting fucking late.”
“Don’t worry man, it’s here somewhere.”
They drove in circles for another hour, and at each turn Shane assured John that his mom’s house was right around the very next corner.
“Do you have any idea where we’re going, man?” John finally asked, glowering.
“I’m just having a hard time remembering exactly where it is. It’s just been a while.”
John turned his head sideways. “Didn’t you tell me when we was in the joint that your parents lived in New Mexico?”
“Yeah, they did. But my mom moved up here.”
“But you don’t know where?” John shook his head.
Shane thought for a moment. “You know what? We might actually be in the wrong part of town. Let’s go look over on the south side and check it out over there.”
“What? No. Fuck that shit, dude. I’m not doing any more of this bullshit. Drive me back to Pueblo. I’ll beg Crystal to let me in if I have to. We’re done here.” John thought for a second and then added, “And you’re not staying either. You’re going back. Tonight.”
Not saying a word, Shane made a U-turn, shifted into third, and headed towards the freeway.
February 19, 1996
Shane’s mom and dad were up for the day from T or C, and dropped by to see him in the early afternoon. They came to see him fairly often, usually leaving him extra cash and food just in case he needed it.
Feeling at loose ends after they left, Shane dropped by his neighbor Jason’s apartment, bringing over a package of coffee cake and a couple cans of soda his mother had left for him.
“Hey Jace, what’s happening dude?” Shane said, strolling in.
Jason looked up from his book and smiled. “Not much, man. Just catching up on my reading. What’s up with you?”
“Nothing, nothing. My parents were just here and my mom left me s
ome munchies. You want some? You like apple strudel?”
“Yeah, I do. Cut me some.”
“Already done, dude.” Shane handed him a pre-cut piece on a paper towel.
“So what else is new?” Shane asked. “Got any good parties to go to?” Shane was referring to the fact that Jason occasionally worked as a DJ at various events around town.
“I got one in couple of weeks. I wish I had more. I could really use the cash. I’m taking a few trips in March and the extra bucks would come in handy.” Jason smiled and added, “But I’ll get by.”
Shane’s face got serious. He seated himself on Jason’s coffee table, facing him.
“Look, dude, if you need more cash,” Shane said, lowering his voice. “I might have a way.”
Jason tensed. “What do you mean? ’Might have a way?’”
“Well, it’s no big deal. No big deal at all. It’s just that I might know a place we could go to where we could get some money. If we went at just the right time, there’d only be a few people there, but there’d be a ton of cash. I'm talking major money. It would be quick and should go really smooth. No one would have a clue we were involved.”
Jason didn’t respond. His eyes were wide and his breathing shallow.
Shane, unaware, continued, “But if something did go wrong, don’t worry about that either. I’ve got that covered. A few people could maybe get hurt, but I would be the one to handle that. I would take care of any problems. You’d just be the helper.”
Shane finally stopped talking and looked over to see Jason’s reaction. He saw the color drain from his friend’s face. He looked almost ghost-like. Instantly, Shane realized he was barking up the wrong tree.
Jason sat without moving.
Shane burst into loud laughter. Then he stood up and playfully slapped Jason on the back, still laughing.
“Dude? Dude?” he said, gasping for air and squatting down to a level even with Jason’s face. “You didn’t think I was serious, did you?” Shane looked him in the eye.
Jason took a deep breath and looked uncomfortable. Shane let out several more exaggerated guffaws and then put his hand on his friend’s shoulder and held it there, trying to normalize the situation.