by Bijou Hunter
“Really?” he said, smiling. “I thought she loved me?”
“I’m doing my best.”
Cooper’s smile disappeared. “What does that mean?”
“I don’t upset you on purpose,” I lied.
“She’s teasing you, Farah. Or maybe not, but she just wants me to get what I want.”
“Maybe we should, you know?” I asked, biting into the hot dog even though my stomach churned full of anxiety.
“Should what?” Cooper asked, taking the burger Bailey handed him.
“You know?” I whispered. “Go to your apartment and be together.”
“Oh, yeah, we’re already doing that.”
Frowning, I felt overwhelmed. I also felt lonely. Everyone knew their place and I was the outsider. Always the outsider.
Cooper leaned down and whispered, “Wait, did you mean sex?” Grinning at me, he shook his head. “Sorry, but I’m not emotionally in the right place for that. You’ll have to fix your pants problem yourself.”
Even on edge, I laughed because he could be so silly when in the right mood. Cooper took my hand and pulled me to the stairs where we sat on a step and ate our food. Twice, he left then returned with burgers and drinks. I was beyond stuffed by the time we finished eating.
Feeling comfortable enough to be a little daring, I leaned my head against Cooper’s shoulder. He smiled at me then glanced back at his noisy family. When his gaze returned to my face, he leaned down and kissed my forehead.
We sat quietly for a while, watching the dogs. Soon, Cooper told me about each dog and how he learned to train them from his uncle Vic. He said he liked Rottweilers, but his favorite dog was a mutt named Rafe. When he wasn’t being loud or horny, Cooper seemed just like any guy. Approachable and safe. Like Nick maybe, but Cooper was mine for now.
After the food settled, we walked hand and hand down the stairs of the deck and out towards the river. It wasn’t a long walk, but we needed to take a winding staircase on the side of a hill. I didn’t know how someone could have built it, but I’d never had an eye for those things. I just followed Cooper who paced his movements so I could keep up. When we arrived at a deck overlooking the river, Cooper let go of my hand and stretched.
“The river’s current is slow as shit. No one gets pulled down stream. No one has ever drowned.”
“I could be the first,” I muttered.
“You’re such a nerd,” he said, caressing my hair. “A hot as hell nerd.”
“So we walk down to the water and swim?” I asked, feeling uncertain about how to gracefully swim with living things floating around.
“No, you jump!” Bailey screamed from behind me. Shoving me forward, she started laughing. I staggered towards the edge and knew the momentum would take me over. Cooper caught me and pulled me back against him.
“Damn it, Bailey!” Cooper yelled. “You can’t shove her in like that. She’s scared.”
“That’s how you taught me to swim.”
“If you want revenge, you push me, not her.”
“Whatever,” Bailey said, rolling her eyes as she ran off the end of the deck and disappeared into the water.
Cooper grunted. “She’s feeling really fucking insecure today. I think Skye having a guy is making her into a bitch.”
“Thanks for not letting me fall.”
“You want to try jumping?” he asked, tugging me closer to the side. “It’s not a long drop and the water is deep. You won’t get hurt. Uncle Cylas is a huge guy and he jumps off all the time without a problem.”
I stared down at the water where Bailey swam around casually. When she glanced up at me, I waved as if I wasn’t irritated with her for being a competitive bitch. Frowning, she waved back. Then, her frown eased and she smiled.
“You’re good with her,” Cooper said, smacking a mosquito on his arm.
“She just wants to feel special. Most people do.”
“Don’t you?” he asked, kissing the top of my head.
“No, I just want to be average. Normal.”
Cooper said nothing and I glanced up to find his expression cranky.
“Average is shit,” he finally said. “Why be normal when you can be more?”
“I want to dream of something I can actually get.”
“You’re gorgeous, hard working, hot, smart, and sexy. You have a lot going for you. You’re patient too.”
Smiling at his compliments, I was still nervous. “Can I ask a stupid question without you making fun of me?”
“Sure.”
“Does it hurt when you hit the water?” I asked, looking down at the river.
“No, baby, it doesn’t,” he said softly, taking my hand. “Want to jump together? I’ll make sure nothing happens to you.”
Smiling, I looked at the water again. “New things scare me. It’s stupid, but I’m afraid to jump.”
“I promise I’ll keep you safe. Do you trust me?”
Nodding, I felt like I might cry. All the anxiety from the day rushed up at this exact moment. The part of me that wanted to be safe said not to jump. Don’t take chances. I could get hurt. Depending on Cooper was a mistake and he might fail me. What if I drowned and no one was there to help Tawny get away from those shit motels in the middle of nowhere? Don’t jump, my brain screamed.
Tightening my grip on his hand, I swallowed hard. “Don’t let me drown.”
“You’ve swam before, right?”
“In pools.”
“I won’t let go.”
We walked to the very edge and I stared at the water. It felt too far down. The impact was bound to hurt. I was too scared. In the distance, I heard Tucker whooping it up and knew he was on his way down. If he got there and was too loud, I’d chicken out.
“I’m ready,” I said, looking up at Cooper.
He smiled softly as his dark eyes studied my face. “Let’s break down another wall, baby.”
We stepped off and I panicked immediately. I even tried to brace my fall, but Cooper held my hand as we dropped into the warm dark water. The lack of light scared me again, but I felt Cooper pulling me back to the surface. Kicking my legs, I held onto him.
Cooper never let go. Not when we fell or when we kicked our way to the surface or even as we floated on the peaceful water. He held on and I was safe.
Smiling at him, I glanced up at the deck. It didn’t seem like such a big deal now, but I would have bailed if not for Cooper.
“Thank you,” I said as he grabbed the inner tube Tucker threw down.
“I’ll never let you go,” he told me.
Soon, as we floated, I leaned over to kiss him. Cooper wrapped an arm around my waist and tugged me closer. The kiss deepened and I nearly let go of the inner tube. Cooper kept me afloat though. When his lips left mine, we just watched each other while floating on the lazy waters. After a long few minutes passed, I faced away from him.
“I really like you,” I said, leaning my head on the tube and still looking away.
“Why do you sound sad?”
“I didn’t expect to meet anyone right away. I wasn’t really ready.”
Cooper tapped my shoulder so I would look at him. When I finally did, he frowned. “Why do you need to be ready?”
“I just need to prepare for things. It’s how I stay comfortable with life.”
Cooper leaned his forehead against mine as we floated into deeper water.
“There’s no preparing for me,” he said then grinned. “I don’t even know what I’m doing from minute to minute. Could be worse though. I could be Tucker.”
Smiling, I glanced up at his brother who was preparing to cannonball into the water. Maddy didn’t want to jump though and they were having a minor tiff. When I looked back at Cooper, I found him watching me in a weird way.
“I forget how you had nothing growing up and every little good thing is a big deal. I need to remember that.”
“Today is a really good thing,” I said, blinking away the stupid tears. “It’s unexpected is
all. Moving here was so big for me then I met you and it’s a lot.”
“I’ll be patient,” he nearly whispered. “I really want you, Farah. I also really want you to want me. I’m starting to get the hang of being with you.”
“Maybe I’m too much effort?”
“No fucking way. It’s just I normally get what I want five seconds after I want it. This is new and I need to adjust. You’re worth adjusting for.”
I held onto the tube with one arm then reached out and caressed his face. Tracing his lips, I couldn’t believe how beautiful he looked under the late summer sun.
“After we swim a little more,” I said, smiling confidently, “can we go to your apartment?”
“To talk about school and study?” he asked like a smartass.
“Among other things.”
Cooper’s grin became tender. “You’re even more beautiful when you relax. Like the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Right now, you look very relaxed.”
“I’ve never done anything like this. The way you live. The comfort of it…” I paused, unable to explain. “Yes, I’m very relaxed.”
“Hell yeah, you are.”
“Hell yeah, I am.”
Wiggling around in the water, Cooper groaned. “And these are loose shorts too, but it just doesn’t help.”
“Won’t going to your apartment only make that problem worse?”
“Maybe, but it’ll be worth it. I’m going to ruin you for other guys, remember?”
“Oh, I remember.”
“But do you believe?” he asked with complete sincerity.
“That you’re talented in bed? Oh, I believe alright.”
“Asked around, have you?”
“No,” I muttered, frowning now.
“You really don’t get curious about me? I was curious about you right off the bat.”
“I’m curious, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stalk you or hit up people for dirt. I don’t know anyone around here, remember?”
“True,” he said before dunking himself underwater. When he reappeared wet, shiny, and pretty damn irresistible, I smiled like I wasn’t uncomfortable with how attractive I found him. “You want me,” he said, grinning.
“Of course.”
“It’s all over your face.”
“I didn’t know I was so easy to read.”
“To me, you’re an open book. Well, your face is. I sometimes can’t see the rest of you behind all of those walls.”
“I’m trying.”
“Oh, I know,” he whispered, sliding his body against mine in the water.
When Cooper pressed our bodies together, I felt how hard he was, but I wasn’t sure what to do? Were we having sex in the water?
“Relax,” he whispered, grinding softly against me. “I know you’re turned on. We’re just playing, okay?”
Looking into his eyes, I nodded. No sex. Just a little help for his pants problem. Everything was fine, I told myself. Of course, I worried about an audience.
Glancing up at the deck where Maddy argued with Tucker, I didn’t know where Bailey had gone.
“They don’t care about us. We’re not even on their radar,” Cooper said, nuzzling my neck with his lips.
Focusing on Cooper, I refused to freak out. We were just messing around, having a little fun. I wrapped my legs gently around his hips and he groaned into the crook of my neck. With a hand on my butt, Cooper moved me slowly up and down over his erection. I didn’t like the feel of it, so I focused on his strong shoulders. Caressing his golden skin, I didn’t think about anything waist down.
Instead, I ran my fingers through his wet hair, pressing a lock behind his ear. He was beautiful, so finely built like a model or fantasy man. Cooper was real though and I wanted him. Maybe I didn’t want the sex part, but I wanted the man who wanted the sex part.
I needed him to want me too because I wasn’t ready for us to be over. I wanted more time to enjoy his teasing and those hungry gazes he gave me. So I let him use me to feel good. I wanted Cooper enough to help a little by grinding against him. He liked that enough to find his relief.
When he looked at me, I knew Cooper worried I was angry. I liked the concern in his eyes and I wanted him to still care about impressing me. One day, he wouldn’t and I wasn’t ready for that to happen.
“You okay?” he asked, still concerned.
Smiling, I wrapped my arms around his neck. “You have a sickness,” I teased. “Did the treatment help any?”
Cooper laughed. “I want you too much to be healthy. I’ve never been in a constant state of heat before.”
“All part of my plan.”
“I’m glad I can tell when you’re lying. If I thought you were really messing with me, I’d take it personal.”
“Stop threatening me,” I said, giving his crotch a quick grind.
“Holy hell, you’re making me crazy.”
“I offered,” I said, pulling away from him and dipping my hair into the water to cool my head. “You said no.”
“You offered, but your heart wasn’t in it.”
Sensing Cooper’s feelings were hurt by my ability to tell his hot bod no, I reached out and caressed the cross tattoo on his chest.
“I always get nervous the first time I’m with a guy.”
“Have you been with a lot of guys?”
“Thousands,” I said as my finger traced the perfect lines of the cross. “Too many to count.”
Cooper watched me then glanced down at where my fingers slid over his nipple. “You’re the devil, Farah. No way you really run this hot and cold.”
“I’m not cold. Just nervous.”
“Seriously,” he said, tapping at my chin to have me look at him, “you’ve been with a guy before, right?”
“Yes,” I said quickly then added, “Just not with you. It’s different each time. For me anyway.”
“Oh, but not for me because I’m a slut.”
Pulling away, I frowned. “You did say you could fuck someone else and pretend she was me. I don’t think sex means as much to you as it does to me.”
His face a mask of hurt, he asked, “Do you like me at all?”
“Yes,” I whispered, frightened by his tone.
“Why? My money? Because I’m hot.”
“You make me laugh. You can also be gentle. When you are, I want you more than anything.”
Cooper’s expression softened. “If you like me and you’re not a virgin, why are you so nervous?”
“My life was never predictable and I get startled and nervous easily. I just need to mentally prepare for certain things. Sharing my body is one of them. I’m not confident enough to do it without getting ready first.”
Cooper studied me with those dark conflicted eyes. “I keep forgetting your shit childhood and how I need to adjust to that. I’m spoiled, I guess.”
“Hell yeah, you’re spoiled,” I teased.
A grinning Cooper stroked my cheek then let his hand slide down my shoulder to my waist.
“I need to know you like me for real,” he said, pressing me against him as the current gently tossed us. “That you feel what I do because I’m nervous now. Like if I fuck up, I’ll lose something irreplaceable.”
Staring at him, I had no idea how to respond. I kept worrying he was only conning me as a way to add another freshman to his list of bang and hang girls.
“I’m getting hot,” I said and Cooper immediately grinned. “Like from the heat. Could we go see your apartment? It’s air conditioned, right? I mean, a spoiled guy like you wouldn’t expect anything less.”
“You don’t like it in the water?”
“I do, but the sun is making my head hurt. We can stay if you want.”
“Screw the river. I’ve seen it before. You’re all shiny and new and I’m going to figure you out and make you worship me.”
“Good luck with that.”
“See the steps up?” he asked, pointing towards where the riverbank was the steepest. “We’ll swim over
and walk up and then walk up some more and eventually we’ll walk up the stairs to my place. By then, you’ll be too tired to complain when I kiss all over you.”
“Why would I complain?”
“We’ll be alone near a bed. You’re bound to get nervous.”
“No sex though or will we? I need to plan in my head for it.”
“Baby, I want you to ask me for sex, not the other way around. If you don’t ask, it ain’t happening.”
“So no sex then,” I said, kicking away and swimming towards the edge.
“Bitch,” he muttered.
“Dickhead,” I called over my shoulder.
“Temptress.”
“Playboy.”
Cooper said something else, but I didn’t hear. When I glanced back, he was watching me with an odd expression. I decided not to worry and just swam the rest of the way to the edge. Soon, he joined me up the stairs where Cooper dropped the inner tube on the deck. Tucker had given up on Maddy jumping, so they were making out instead. I didn’t see Bailey, not on the deck or as we walked up the stairs to the main house.
Cooper found me a towel and I had it wrapped tightly as we made our way to his place. Upon arriving, I wasn’t sure what to expect for an apartment over the garage.
“It smells good,” I said then covered my mouth.
Cooper pressed up behind me. “Why wouldn’t it smell good?”
“Men are stinky,” I said, grinning at him over my shoulder. “It smells good though. Like a model home.”
Cooper started to speak then thought better of it. As we entered, there was a small modern kitchen on our left. Straight ahead was a little area with a huge leather couch, giant TV, and enough electronics and video games to keep a teenage boy happy.
Cooper stopped in the kitchen and found two drinks from the refrigerator. A beer for him and a soda for me.
“My girl doesn’t drink alcohol because it’s illegal,” he said in a little girl voice. “What would the man say?”
“Shut up. Laws exist for a reason.”
“Yeah, as a way to keep a boot on the neck of people. That and to give certain assholes a sense of power. Nothing more than that.”
“Fine, then give me a beer.”
“No way. You’re too young,” he said, taking my hand and leading me to the couch. “Now, we’re pretty dry from the heat and the endless walk up here. We should be fine on the furniture, but if you’d like to strip down and go bare ass, I promise not to complain.”