by Bijou Hunter
“A nap?” I asked, grinning. “Who takes a nap?”
“I do all the time. I’m up at night and you don’t want to know how grumpy I get without enough sleep.”
“You, grumpy? I don’t believe it.”
“That there,” he said, gesturing towards a small stall, “has a shower. We could wash off the chlorine then head inside. My girl needs more rest than she’s getting with her crap job.”
Even thinking to defend my crap job, I was actually really tired. A nap sounded nice, though I doubted I would sleep. We left the warm water of the pool and hurried to wash off before the slight breeze clung to our wet bodies.
After the shower, Cooper wrapped me in a towel while he remained nude. Taking my hand, he led me to a guest room where he lowered the shades and found an extra blanket.
“I always get cold during naps,” Cooper explained. “Plus, we’re naked.”
“We are so naked,” I said, licking my bottom lip.
“Stop making me hard.”
I undid the towel then dropped it on a chair before sliding under the covers.
“I’m cold. Do you think you could warm me up?”
Cooper grinned. “You had me at the lip lick.”
Soon overheated from his tongue’s affections at my stomach and chest, I still wouldn’t let him lick lower. When Cooper pressed open my legs, he didn’t struggle with me like the night before. I really felt in the moment until the pleasure grew too intense and I shut down. Cooper watched my face as he moved slowly in and out of me. If he thought it would make any difference, I think he might have held on for another hour.
When I ran my nails along his chest, Cooper gave up and just let go. Those last few thrusts were so deep that the sensations sent me somewhere between abject terror and intense pleasure. I was always so close to coming, but couldn’t get past the wall.
Cooper said nothing after we finished. Cuddled with me, he made sure we were snug under the blankets. I didn’t think I could sleep in a strange bed with a man wrapped against the back of me especially with the slightly painful tingles between my legs. While certain that I’d stare at the wall until Cooper woke up, I was instead asleep within minutes.
Waking to a murky room, I wondered how much time passed while I napped. I turned to find Cooper lying on his side watching me. He smiled when our gazes met.
“Have you been up long?” I asked.
“Twenty minutes top.”
I reached for his face and let my fingers slide across the stubble on his cheek. Lifting my head to kiss him, I felt him press something against my lips.
Cooper grinned. “A mint so you won’t have to worry about your breath.”
Opening my mouth, I took the mint before smiling so widely my face hurt. “You’re too perfect.”
“Yeah, I know,” he said, leaning down to kiss me. “Man, you’re hot when you sleep.”
I had no time for a response because his lips were on mine and the kiss stretched into us wrapped together. Our bodies were so warm under the blankets and I knew what Cooper wanted. Well, more like needed. I felt a little sore, but when he touched me just right, I opened my legs for him.
There was something extremely comforting about being in that room with Cooper. The house smelled like peaches from a nearby air freshener. It was quiet and warm and I felt safe with Cooper as if he alone could hold back all of the ugliness in my life.
Chapter Sixteen
Tawny answered on the first ring like her hand was hovering over the phone. While I thought maybe she sensed I would call, her voice sounded panicked for her to be expecting me.
“Tawny, what’s wrong?” I asked.
“We’re somewhere else now.”
“Is Dad around?” I asked, sitting in the guest room while Cooper readied our dinner.
“He’s got a con going and thinks he could have the money to pay off those people. I still don’t know what he’ll do about the cops, but he says he’s close to fixing one problem. Then, maybe we can move somewhere else and I can get a job.”
Tawny sounded like she was reciting Dad. I hated when she did that because it meant she was on autopilot. I remembered how when things were really bad my little sister would pull deep within herself and go through the motions. Sometimes, it was difficult to reassure Tawny enough for her to come out of hiding and I feared she’d lock herself away forever.
“Are you okay?” I asked gently, feeling guilty to have spent such a wonderful day while Tawny was trapped somewhere.
“Yes, I’m glad you called. Did you sleep with that rich guy?”
“Last night.”
“Was it good?” she asked, sounding more like Tawny now and I could see the little grin on her face.
“It was okay.”
“Was he mean?” she asked, the humor gone.
“It was just weird and…” I glanced around like someone might be listening even though I knew I was alone. “I cried last night and again today at Cooper’s house.”
“Why? You said he wasn’t mean.”
“He wasn’t. He’s really hot too and I want him, but then I started crying. It’s weird.”
Tawny said nothing for nearly a minute. “You need practice. It’s like when I would get nervous at new schools. Every time I had a new class, I would cry. Then, I got practice and it wasn’t scary. Yeah, you just need more practice.”
Smiling, I felt like Tawny was in the room with me. I really wished she was and my eyes burned at how much I missed her.
“He’s been so great today. Like taking care of me and saying really nice things. He makes me feel like I’m important.”
“You are important.”
“I guess, but most people don’t think that. Cooper has all his money and he’s really hot and I know other girls don’t cry and act weird. I know he can do better so I’m excited by how he likes me so much.”
“You have a calming thing,” Tawny said, again sounding confident like she just knew stuff. “You make people feel relaxed and people like that. I always felt better when you were around even if everything was shitty. You did that and maybe he needs that calming thing too. Maybe that’s what you have that those other girls don’t have? You’re beautiful, smart, and funny too, but a lot of people have those things. A lot of people aren’t calming though.”
“You’d make a great therapist.”
“Why would anyone listen to me?”
“Because you make things sound good. That’s your talent. You make a person see things they don’t see on their own.”
Tawny said nothing and I felt her pulling away a little. “I can’t go back to high school. I hate the classes.”
“I’m not asking you to go to school. I’m just saying you’re good with people. You can be good with them without going to school.”
“Oh.”
“I’m going to get you here, Tawny.”
“What about Cooper? What if he wants to keep you around?”
“So?”
“So he might not want me around. Like we were going to get a place, but what if he really likes you and wants to keep you and you can’t get a place with me?”
Tawny was crying. I couldn’t hear it, but I knew her voice and she was scared.
“He loves me,” I said softly. “He wants me to be happy and he knows you’re my best friend. He knows I miss you and he wouldn’t take you away from me. He even asks about you. Cooper won’t stop me from bringing you here.”
“He said he loved you?”
“Yes, and I love him too.”
“I know. I could tell when you kept trying to talk yourself out of dating him. Why else would you want to stop seeing a rich hot guy unless you were worried you felt more for him than he did for you? Yeah, I knew you were in love.”
Laughing, I wished I could give her a hug through the phone. “See, you’re smart. School just isn’t for everyone.”
“Yeah, I’ll find a job when I get there and I’ll help pay for stuff. I’ll pull my weight.”
/> “Even if you don’t, I want you here. I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” Tawny said then sighed. “I’m sorry you cried.”
Swallowing hard, I forced out the words. “I felt a little like I was back there.”
“It’s the tattoos. You said he has them and that’s why. You’ll get used to those tats and you won’t feel that way. Like I said, you need practice.”
“It’s been a great day and I can’t wait until you meet him.”
“I won’t embarrass you,” Tawny said full of sincerity. “I won’t ruin things for you when I get there.”
In that moment, I saw Tawny and me the way others did. How we were always the dirty outsiders who didn’t belong. I had forgotten some of that living in Ellsberg. While I felt like I belonged, Tawny was in a motel, feeling like trash. I wept at the thought of her seeing herself that way.
Tawny and I didn’t really say anything for the rest of the call. We just cried and tried to think about the future, but instead wallowed in our past. We needed to get away from all of the ugliness and be new people. I was trying so hard, but she was still stuck in the crap life our parents built for us.
After I hung up, I washed my face then went looking for Cooper. I found him outside on the deck, grilling the steaks. He looked a little ominous in only jeans. His size and those tattoos still scared me, but then he glanced in my direction and smiled. Suddenly, he wasn’t the scary guy from the first day of school. He was my Coop who gave foot massages and kissed like he had nowhere important to go. He loved me. I just had to hold onto this fact so I didn’t ruin things.
“Is everything okay?” he asked, frowning now.
Nodding, I knew my face was red from crying. “She’s alone in a highway shithole and I wish she was here.”
“I could bring her here.”
My heart leapt, but I didn’t agree. My mind recalled how suddenly Cooper had fallen for me and imagined how suddenly he could lose interest. If I started hoping for Cooper to save me and Tawny, I’d stop working to save us. Then when he dumped me, it would hurt more.
“You think about it,” Cooper finally said, studying my face. “Want to help me grill?”
“Isn’t that man work?” I asked, eyeing him through my narrowed eyes. “Fire is a guy thing, right?”
“I’m a caveman who likes a strong cavewoman.”
Cooper handed me the giant grill fork and had me turn over the steaks. While I worked, he stood behind me and kissed my neck.
“I can’t think when you do that,” I moaned.
“I can’t think period when you’re around.”
“How are you going to be the perfect one if I’m around all the time?”
Cooper stopped kissing my neck and I think he finally figured out what my early thought process had been. He stood very still for a few beats then kissed my neck again.
“I’m just perfect enough to wing it.”
Cooper sucked hard at my throat and I melted against him. “I don’t want to cook. You do it and also do that. I just want to worship those lips.”
Cooper laughed against my throat then returned to sucking at my skin. Somehow, he also flipped over the potatoes while never leaving my body unloved.
Dinner consisted of eating way too much, followed by swimming until I thought I’d puke, and finally we fooled around on the deep end of the pool. I didn’t know if Cooper was showing off by having me hold onto him while he gripped the sides and did all of the hip work, but I was impressed. Wrapping myself around him, I tried not to ruin the moment.
Cooper’s parents and sisters remained in town overnight at a hotel with Skye’s family. To celebrate having the house to ourselves, we had sex a lot. Cooper swore no one would know. I swore they could tell. Cooper swore if they noticed anything that they wouldn’t care. I swore they would be horrified to know we befouled their family room, living room, music room, and gym. Cooper acted offended by my referring to our lovemaking as befouling things. I acted shocked at him referring to our fucking as lovemaking. He then shut me up with a kiss that led to more sex. Cooper won the argument and the house was thoroughly marked.
Eventually, we stumbled up the stairs to his apartment for a roll around his bed. The whole last effort involved me giggling because he was half asleep and still trying to score. Cooper refused to relent until he nearly dozed off inside me.
“I’m officially done,” he muttered, falling asleep as I cuddled next to him.
After my nap, I was certain I wouldn’t sleep even when I checked the clock and found it after one. Lying in the dark with my head resting on his chest, I listened to his heartbeat and was out within minutes.
Dissolving into sleep while wrapped safely in Cooper’s arms, I awoke in a dream that was less fantasy and more memory. Tawny was crying nearby and I heard her murmuring my name as if waiting for me to save her. I stretched out my hand to her, but she was in the next room. Saying her name, I felt a hand cover my mouth.
“If you miss your sister so much, we can go watch,” Travis whispered with humor to his voice.
Awaking with a cry, I scrambled away from the warm body in the dark room. The man moved towards me and I screamed again. Throwing out my hands, I wasn’t awake enough to fight him off, but I hoped to keep him away.
“It’s me, baby,” Cooper soothed, but I wasn’t with him really.
“Leave me alone,” I whimpered. “Don’t touch me.”
Cooper turned on a lamp and my wet eyes adjusted slowly to the dull light.
“Hell, you’re shaking,” Cooper said, attempting to comfort me, but his touch sent me halfway off the bed.
“I need to leave. I need to go home. It’s not safe here.”
“It’s safer here than anywhere in town,” Cooper muttered, sounding angry. Yet, when he spoke again, his voice was softer. “You just had a bad dream.”
My hand touched between my legs and I knew it wasn’t a dream. Somehow, it felt too real now as if it happened last night and not five years earlier.
“I need to leave.”
Cooper stared at me in the dimly lit room and I saw pain in his eyes. “I’m not driving you home in the middle of the night.”
“I don’t want you to touch me.”
Cooper’s lips twitched and he blinked a few times. His gaze moved around the room as if he was thinking. When his focus returned to me, Cooper nodded.
“Here,” he said, taking a pillow and laying it in the middle of the bed. “I’ll stay on my side and you’ll stay on your side. I won’t touch you, but I’m not driving you home. You’re scared and there’s no way you’ll feel better alone in that apartment with your mom.”
The thought of seeing my mother after the dream sent a chill up my spine. I just wanted to be safe and feel the way I had the day before.
“If that’s not enough,” Cooper continued, “I’ll sleep in the living room.”
I glanced towards the door leading to the rest of the apartment. While I couldn’t deal with Cooper touching me, I didn’t want him out of the room either.
“I like the pillow idea,” I whispered in a squeaky voice. Swallowing hard, I tried to find moisture, but my fear sucked me dry.
Cooper left the bed, walked to the bathroom, and returned with a coffee cup full of water. I drank it then gave him the best smile I could manage.
“I’m sorry.”
Taking the cup, Cooper just shook his head. “Everyone has bad dreams.”
Nodding, I watched him set the cup on the table behind him then he rested on his side with the pillow separating us. After a few minutes of looking around as if someone might be waiting to jump out, I rested on my side and stared at Cooper.
“Do you want to leave the light on?” he asked.
“For a little while please.”
His gaze unreadable in the murky light, Cooper nodded. We stared at each other for a while and I worried he was angry. What if in the morning, he drove me home then pretended I didn’t exist? I knew he could do that and I would
have no choice other than accept how he was done with me.
“Do you still love me?” I asked.
Cooper inhaled harshly. When he spoke, his voice broke. “So much it hurts.”
“I love you too. I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing.”
“I heard something like gunshots,” I said, glancing back at the window.
“It’s fireworks. A lot of people party when parents are in town. Shows you what kind of students we have that their parents are wild.”
Smiling slightly, I pulled the covers over me. When I had trouble yanking up his heavy comforter, Cooper reached out to help. Without thinking, I flinched and nearly fell off the bed again. His expression wasn’t unreadable anymore. He looked like a hurt boy who lost his best friend.
“I…”
“Don’t say you’re sorry.”
“I want to hold your hand.”
Once Cooper laid his hand palm down on the pillow in between us, I rested mine on top of it.
“The dream felt so real,” I said, trying to explain.
“Was it about me?”
Shaking my head, I frowned. “Why would I dream anything bad about you?”
The corner of Cooper’s mouth twitched like he wanted to smile, but his mood was too miserable. “You’re still shaking,” he said after a minute.
“I’m glad you’re here. I would have been so scared in my apartment.”
Cooper finally smiled just a hint, but I knew he was bothered by my inability to find comfort from his touch. He rested on his side and watched me until I fell asleep.
When I woke up, Cooper was staring hard at the ceiling. He looked so angry that I was afraid for him to notice my eyes were open. Eventually, I slid out of bed and walked to the bathroom. After cleaning up, I returned to bed where Cooper still glared at the ceiling.
Unsure why he was upset, I felt a panic deep in my gut over losing him. I didn’t have any words to fix his anger so I used something I figured he would enjoy more.
Kissing his chest as I slid in next to him, I licked the outline of the cross on his chest. Cooper’s breathing shifted, but I didn’t dare look at him and ruin the possibility of improving his mood.