by Andrew Cope
‘Exactly the same markings,’ he said. ‘Same nose. Same eyes.’ The magnifying glass paused over the dog’s ears. ‘But the sticky-up ear has no bullet hole,’ he gasped. He looked again, his hand shaking with excitement. He leaped from the sofa. ‘How could we have missed it? Everything is perfect about this dog, except the bullet hole. That proves it can’t be Lara.’
He ran to the phone, intending to ring the professor. He saw the answer-machine light blinking so he decided to check the messages first.
‘Come on, come on,’ he muttered as the electronic voice droned on that there was one saved message, received yesterday, at 11.36 a.m. Ben dropped the magnifying glass as he heard the anguished call from Mrs Borrett. ‘The gas cooker!’ he exclaimed. ‘That’s why Lara was in the house. She’s been set up.’
Ben thought harder than he’d ever thought before. ‘What would Lara want me to do?’ He picked up the phone and called Professor Cortex, explaining everything he knew. Two hours later, Ben, Sophie and Ollie were in the professor’s van on their way to London.
Mr Big ran through the plan one last time. ‘Are we all absolutely sure what we’re doing tomorrow?’ he asked.
Gus nodded. ‘Me and Bambi are on the roof first thing, right?’
‘Right.’
‘And I’m the security guard,’ said Archie.
‘And I’m acting normally, like all the other invited guests,’ nodded Cynthia.
Mr Big beamed at the assembled team. ‘And I, Sir Humphrey Goldfinger, will be opening the exhibition. Except, by the time we open, the Millennium Diamond will have gone.’
The team raised their glasses of champagne.
‘To the diamond. To the best robbery in the world,’ toasted the boss. ‘But, most of all, to the end of Spy Dog!’
‘To the end of Spy Dog,’ chorused his team.
16. Paper Poisoning
Saturday morning came and Lara knew she had to escape. The robbery will be happening today. I have to do something. But what?
She was delighted when Ben, Sophie and Ollie burst though the door.
‘Visiting time,’ yelled Ben as the three children ran across the cell and stroked their pet through her cage’s iron bars. ‘Lara, are you OK?’
I’ve had better days, she thought, although she did manage to nod encouragingly. But I’m feeling better for seeing you guys.
Ben eyed the policeman who’d accompanied them into the room.
‘Lots to tell you, Lara,’ he said perkily. ‘We know you’re not guilty,’ he whispered through the side of his mouth.
Of course I’m not guilty, thought Lara. But can you prove it?
Lara wagged her tail enthusiastically as the children chatted about nothing in particular. After ten minutes, the policeman signalled it was time to leave and the children reluctantly waved goodbye to their pet.
‘Oh, before we go, we thought you might like this present,’ said Sophie, rummaging in her bag.
She brought out a toy bone and passed it through the bars to Lara.
‘Something to chew on when we’ve gone!’ explained Ben. Lara thought she saw him wink. ‘I hope it doesn’t make you poorly’
Errr, thanks, guys, she nodded. I’ll chew on it and think of you.
Lara stuck her nose out of the bars and blew a kiss as they left. The children started down the stairs. Ben and Sophie looked very gloomy as they thought about their beloved dog, all alone. But both had hope in their hearts.
Lara was alone again. Nice of them to bring me a prezzie, she thought, looking at her bone. But why did Ben say it might make me poorly? And why did he wink? Lara sniffed the toy bone. Nothing. She gave it a chew. Still nothing. She did notice that it had a join in the middle, as if it was two halves stuck together. I wonder? Lara lay with the bone held tightly in her paws and tugged one end with her teeth. It moved a little and she pulled some more. Yes! The bone came apart and she saw a piece of paper sticking out. Brilliant, kids. Let’s see what it says. Lara pulled the note out with her teeth and spread it on the floor.
Lara spirits rose as she ripped the note in half. I can’t eat it all in one go, she thought, otherwise I really will be poorly. She chewed on it and looked at the clock on the wall. Thirty minutes to go.
Sir Humphrey Goldfinger loved the Natural History Museum in London, especially the huge dinosaur skeleton right by the entrance. This is where he had chosen to give his speech for the opening of the exhibition. He welcomed the distinguished ladies and gentlemen to the Millennium Diamond Exhibition. He was warm, generous and funny The audience loved his charm.
‘And in just an hour from now,’ he said, ‘we will open the Millennium Room and you will see the world’s largest diamond. It has enough carats to keep Bugs Bunny fed for a hundred years!’ he joked. Sir Humphrey waited for the polite laughter to die down. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy your tour of this fabulous museum and prepare to feast your eyes on a gem of a gem.’
There was loud applause as the master criminal swept away towards the Millennium Exhibition room. As the exhibition’s main sponsor, he had easy access to it. He showed his ID badge to the short, hairy security guard.
‘No need boss’ grinned Archie as he opened the door and let Mr Big into the high-security room.
‘We have one hour,’ snarled Sir Humphrey through a forced smile. ‘Let the robbery begin.’
Archie stood as tall as he could and guarded the door. His eyes darted around the entrance hall and a smile lit up his face. Spy Dog was locked up, everyone was in position. Nothing could stop them now.
17. Dr Who?
Lara looked at the clock. It was 10.30: time to play poorly. Swallowing that sheet of paper has made me feel sick so this might not be too difficult. She lay on the floor of her cage and whimpered. She remembered her drama classes. OK, here goes. I’m not feeling too good, she whined. Feel a bit icky.
Nothing happened. Since nobody seemed to be running for help she turned up the volume. Lara squirmed a bit more and barked, as if in pain.
Ouch, my stomach. I think I’ve got paper poisoning, she yapped. Somebody come and help. I’m a dying dog.
She saw the surveillance camera zoom in on her.
Ahh, somebody has noticed, she thought. Let’s play to the audience. Lara turned on an Oscar-winning performance. She pretended to die like she’d seen people do in the movies. She rolled over and squirmed as if her life depended on it. Who knows – perhaps it did. She held her paws to her throat and choked. Woe is me, she whimpered. Dying, dying … hello, over here, camera … I said I was dying … and dead. Lara twitched a bit before lying still. Within thirty seconds a policeman entered the cell and eyed her suspiciously.
‘What’s up, dog?’ he muttered, as if he expected Lara to be able to speak.
My turn. And my head. In fact, all over, she whined, wriggling like a worm on a hook. Then, suddenly, Lara went still. She closed her eyes, slowed her breathing and waited. Come on, man, can’t you see I’m dead?
‘OK, poochie,’ she heard the policeman say. ‘You don’t look well. I’m calling a medical team. Don’t go anywhere.’
Stupid man. thought Lara, eves half closed. I’m locked in a cage. Where am I going to go?
The policeman jabbered on his walkie-talkie for a few seconds and then left the cell. Lara was very aware that the camera was probably still zoomed in on her, so she lay still, squinting at the door.
Come on, kids, what’s the plan? Don’t leave me here like this, she thought.
A moment later the door burst open and in marched a white-coated Professor Cortex and four policemen.
‘Here’s the dog, doctor. Apparently she’s very valuable, so can you see if there’s anything you can do.’
A policeman took a bunch of keys and opened the cage. Lara squinted at the professor and saw him wink as she was dragged out and pulled across the floor.
‘Looks serious,’ said the professor. ‘We’d better take her to the surgery. Give me a hand getting her on to the stretche
r.’
Lara felt lots of hands go under her limp body. She was laid on the stretcher and then she felt herself being carried away.
‘What do you think it is, doc?’ asked one of the policemen. He didn’t want the mutt to die on his shift. ‘Will she be all right?’
‘Looks bad,’ said the professor gravely. ‘Some sort of poisoning.’ He put a stethoscope to Lara’s chest and pretended to listen to her heart. Next he tapped her body in several places, like he’d seen them do on Casualty. ‘Low blood pressure,’ he lied. ‘She’ll need an ECG in the ambulance.’
Steady, prof, thought Lara. You’re getting to enjoy this game.
The policemen looked even more worried. They watched Casualty too. They didn’t know what an ECG was but it sounded serious. They helped the professor carry Lara out to the waiting ambulance. ‘Thank you, gentlemen,’ said Professor Cortex. ‘I think you may just have helped to save a life.’
He slammed the back doors of the ambulance and jumped into the driver’s seat, waving as the ambulance pulled away. Professor Cortex flicked the siren on and the traffic cleared before him. ‘What a great way to get through London,’ he observed, as the kids leaped from their hiding place in the ambulance and crowded round Lara.
Lara was delighted to see them. She was even happier to have escaped the cramped cage. She planted a wet lick on every face she could reach and stretched her paws. Her spy mind kicked into action. There was no time to lose. She grabbed the newspaper on the dashboard and ran a paw across the word ‘Museum’ above the story of the Millennium Diamond Exhibition.
That’s where we need to go, and quick, she urged. We may already be too late.
‘You want to go to the Natural History Museum?’ asked the professor, swerving across the traffic. ‘Are you sure, GM451?’
Lara nodded. The siren blared along the streets of London and drivers panicked to get out of the way.
Put your foot down, prof, Lara pleaded. This is a real emergency.
18. Bomb Squad
The ambulance pulled up at the Natural History Museum. There were lots of people milling around outside. A policeman approached the professor, looking a bit surprised that three children and a dog were getting out of the ambulance.
‘That was quick,’ said the policeman. ‘I’ve only this second called for help. And it’s not an ambulance that I asked for, it’s the bomb squad. We’ve had a bomb alert in the museum and we’ve had to evacuate everyone.’
Lara cast the professor a knowing glance. This’ll be part of the robbery, she winked.
The professor thought quickly. ‘Ahh, yes,’ he said. ‘I know this looks like an ambulance but we are the bomb squad.’ He cleared his throat while he thought of something almost believable. Now why would the bomb squad be driving an ambulance? ‘Ahh, yes,’ he said aloud. ‘All the bomb-squad vehicles got blown up last week,’ he beamed, a little over-enthusiastically. ‘You know, in a big bang. Kaboom!’ he explained, his hands doing a volcano eruption. ‘Some of these kids’ dads got a bit hurt so I’m looking after them. Isn’t that right, kiddies?’
Ben and Sophie tried to look sad.
Ollie hadn’t a clue what was going on. ‘Wow, Dad’s gone kaboom,’ he cooed. ‘I hope he’s all right?’
The professor moved on quickly. ‘Let’s hope this job goes better, eh, sniffer dog?’
Pardon? Sniffer dog? Oh, right. Gotcha, prof. Lara put her nose to the ground and started sniffing anything in sight. Just act like a sniffer dog.
She sniffed a waste bin as noisily as she could, wagging her tail hard. She sniffed a Japanese tourist. The policeman shooed her away as her wet nose went towards his trouser leg.
‘OK,’ he said. ‘In you go.’ He cleared the crowd and unlocked the front door of the museum. ‘Don’t let me down,’ he said as he locked Lara and the professor in. ‘We don’t want the Millennium Diamond to go up in smoke!’
Lara and the professor stood in the entrance hall and marvelled at the scene. The dog let out a low whistle of amazement. Wow. What a place! The huge hall was dominated by the dinosaur skeleton that towered above them. There was an eerie silence, except for their footsteps echoing. Lara spotted an arrow pointing to the Millennium Diamond Exhibition and the professor followed her along a long, dark corridor. She turned into a room marked ‘Creatures of the Sea’ and they wandered in awe past an unimaginably huge blue whale. The professor opened one of the windows and beckoned to the children outside. They came running and quickly clambered in while the policeman wasn’t looking.
‘Excellent, Lara,’ said Ben. ‘Now we can help you solve this crime. It’s not a real bomb, is it?’
Spot on, Ben, thought Lara. It’s more likely to be a cover for Mr Big to steal the diamond.
She led everyone though the corridors, following the diamond signs. They approached the exhibition door and Lara signalled for everyone to shush. They tiptoed forward and Lara pushed at the door. It swung silently open and the crime stoppers peered in. Professor Cortex and the children let out a gasp of amazement.
19. Crime Time
Earlier that morning, as dawn was breaking, Gus and Bambi had taken their positions on the museum’s roof.
‘Nice view, Bambi,’ remarked Gus. ‘You can see my mum’s house from up here.’
Bambi had been fixed into a harness and Gus had spent most of the morning unbolting a skylight.
After Sir Humphrey’s opening speech, Archie had telephoned one of the London newspapers, telling them that a bomb had been planted in the museum.
‘I hate stuffed animals, it’s nasty and cruel,’ he cackled down the phone. ‘And I won’t rest until the Natural History Museum is history.’ He’d added a manic ‘Ha, Ha, Ha,’ for good measure, which, after he’d hung up, he considered may have been a bit overdone.
Ten minutes later the police had arrived and cleared the museum. Sir Humphrey, Archie and Cynthia had hidden in a cupboard in the Millennium Diamond room, knowing that they would be the only ones in the building.
It was 11.30 when they’d come out of hiding and seen the diamond. It had the sort of beauty that left you speechless. There it was, perched on a pedestal, just fifteen metres away. Mr Big was tempted to walk up to the diamond and snatch it, but he knew there were security laser beams everywhere. He couldn’t see them but he knew they were criss-crossing the room. If anyone walked into one of those beams, the alarm would go off and they would be caught red-handed. Mr Big had done his homework. If you couldn’t get the diamond from the ground, that left only one option – the roof.
Mr Big, Archie and Cynthia watched as the skylight opened and Gus’s bald head poked through. Then down came Bambi in her harness, just as they’d practised. Gus took the strain and gradually lowered Bambi towards the huge diamond.
Mr Big took a camcorder from his case and captured the crime on video. He zoomed in on the dog as she hung motionless, all four legs spread, as flat as she could be. He focused on the fake diamond in her mouth. It was an exact copy of the real one. Bambi was inched down, lower and lower. It was a long drop and Gus’s arms were beginning to ache.
‘Steady as you go, Gus,’ whispered Mr Big. ‘No rush. Gently does it. Just a little further.’
Archie hopped about with excitement.
‘It’s going to be ours, boss. We’re gonna be the richest villains in the whole wide world.’
20. A Sparkling Performance
At the door, the children held their breath as they watched Bambi being lowered towards the Millennium Diamond.
‘She looks like you, Lara,’ nudged Ben. ‘Look at the ears.’
Lara nodded. She was trying to think of a plan, but nothing sprang to mind. We have to do something. But what? Her sharp eyes saw the diamond in Bambi’s jaws and she sensed what was going to happen. It’s one of those now or never moments. Let’s do it.
Lara, the professor and the three children tiptoed into the Millennium Exhibition room. Bambi continued downward. The spread-eagled dog was taking orders fr
om Cynthia.
‘Flat, Bambi. Pancake. Pancake,’ Cynthia said sternly.
Bambi did her best star shape, her limbs beginning to ache. Archie was doing hand signals to Gus up above.
‘A bit lower,’ he signalled. ‘Left a bit … and just a tiny bit more … and stop.’
Bambi was dangling right above the diamond, swaying gently in her harness. Cynthia knew this next bit was crucial. She glanced at Mr Big who was puffing nervously on his cigar.
‘Bambi, diamond swap,’ she commanded. She hoped that all the practice would pay off. ‘Diamond swap,’ Cynthia repeated, calmly and sternly.
The children watched open-mouthed as Bambi’s paws closed around the Millennium Diamond. She lifted it expertly before placing the fake one in its place. Bambi held the world’s most expensive jewel in her paws and swung gently from side to side, waiting for her next orders.
Mr Big held his breath as he waited for the alarm to sound. There was nothing. A minute passed. The onlookers were frozen like statues while Bambi swung like a pendulum above the pedestal.
Wow, that’s one clever mutt, thought Lara in grudging admiration.
Mr Big wiped the sweat from his brow and nodded to Cynthia.
‘Good dog!’ Cynthia reassured Bambi. ‘Hold tight and back up you go.’
Archie gave the signal and Bambi started her ascent. The first pull was jerky and Bambi nearly lost the diamond, so Archie signalled to slow down.
‘Gently does it, mate,’ he said.
Lara had half a plan. It’s not perfect but it’s the best I can do, she thought, leaping out of the shadows. I can’t let the gang steal the Millennium Diamond, especially as everyone will think it’s me that did it.
Lara barked wildly as she bounded into the exhibition room. Mr Big nearly dropped his cigar and Cynthia looked bewildered. Gus could see the commotion below and decided to pull harder. He tugged on the rope and jerked Bambi wildly. The diamond wobbled. He yanked the rope again and Bambi swung even more. The harness cut into her and she gasped for breath. The gem slipped from her paws and she watched in horror as it fell to the floor below.