by AJ Sherwood
“Naw, I wouldn’t think so. Okay—wait, which store we going to?”
Ari twisted sideways to set his phone into the cradle on the dash so Carter could just read the map himself and navigate.
He took a second to get his bearings, grunted, then turned right. “Where do you want to start? Something easy? Like, I don’t even know what foods you like/dislike.”
Ari felt comfortable with this topic and nodded. “Sure. Really, I like food. I’m not all that picky, I just don’t like high concentrations of spice.”
“What’s too much for you?”
“Like, kimchi is fine. Hot salsas with habaneros, that’s too much.”
“Good to know. I personally love spicy food. Given a choice, though, it’s Chinese.”
Ari looked at him strangely. He never in a million years would have guessed that. “Really? Chinese?”
“Chinese. My default has always been Chinese. And I’m very, very repeatable with food. I can eat the same thing for three days before I get tired of it.”
“Ages?” Ari asked tentatively. “Ballpark is fine, I just don’t know how old you are. Despite all that grey in your hair, you look close to my age.”
“Prematurely grey,” Carter answered with a longsuffering sigh. “Runs in the family. I’m thirty-five.”
“Ah. Not much older after all. I’m thirty.”
“You mentioned you have a twin? No other family?”
Ari shook his head. “Not really. My brother’s not like us—he’s straight as a bleeding arrow. About a year back, we went hunting for my mother’s family. She was kicked out as a teenager, came to the US to work. We only knew her last name, but my brother found her immigration records in the system. We traced it back to a small town in northern Italy. I went over to the area, stalked the family a bit to see if they’d changed any since abandoning a daughter. They hadn’t. My brother didn’t see anything on his end that made him really want to reach out, either. We’re both pretty content to let it be. But I took on the family name, mostly to remember my mom by.”
“Gotcha. I’ve got too much family to keep track of. I’d like for them to meet you at some point.” Carter gave him a quick, understanding smile. “It’s okay if that meeting’s off in the distant future, though. They’re overwhelming and sure to ask questions they shouldn’t. It sounds like you get along with your brother?”
“It’s…complicated.” Ari grimaced because, God, that sounded like Facebook shit right there. “He and I were close as kids, but you know how foster works—you can’t always stay with a sibling. We only got to stay with each other three times. We were okay, mostly, but it was rough. Then we hit eighteen and I went into the military, him to college—he’s wicked smart, had all sorts of grants and scholarships. I got that dishonorable discharge at twenty and he did not react well. He’s so inflexible. Rules are rules, you just abide by them. He doesn’t know any shades of grey. We got into a huge fight about it and that’s when the relationship broke. Not bad, I don’t mean that.”
“But it’s strained now; you can’t really talk to him,” Carter said in understanding.
“That sounds like personal experience.”
“Yeah, I’ve got a brother I can’t say much to. And I say very little to my dad. It’s easier talking to my sister and mother, so I get what you’re saying.”
“I figured you’d get it. Anyone in this business has similar problems. Things have improved since Remi, though. He’s super happy I would take someone in—I honestly believe he’d thought I’d gained a black heart or something—and he adores her. Talks to her every chance he gets. Right now, we have something we agree on wholeheartedly: Remi. It makes talking to him easier.”
“Have they met in person yet?”
“Not yet. He’s on the other side of the country, so meeting’s a bit difficult. But after this job, I’ve promised them both they can meet in person.”
The conversation stayed in that casual meandering way, with them discussing favorite colors, places to visit, and such. Carter admitted he had a few other houses in the world, and Ari chimed in that he had a vacation house in Italy. They touched briefly on siblings, that Ari was a twin, and Carter the youngest of three siblings. Habit stilled Ari’s tongue before he could say Luca’s name, but Carter didn’t seem to mind. In fact, Carter appeared thrilled to learn this much about Ari without resorting to teeth pulling in the process.
Gaining a better sense of Carter made Ari want to linger just a bit longer. They made up the excuse of having an early dinner, eating together. Chinese, mostly to make Carter smile, which he did. They sat close in the booth, holding hands under the table part of the time, and speaking in low, intimate tones. It was incredibly nice. If this was any indication of what dating Carter was like? Then Ari was definitely on board. He couldn’t say it was easy or comfortable, he still found it a bit nerve-wracking, but he liked it. He liked being with this man and having Carter’s attention.
With great reluctance they ordered takeout for everyone else and finally left the restaurant.
They held hands on the way back to the car, as they’d had to park a block down. Ari was the one to initiate, and it put a smug tilt on Carter’s mouth. Ari had only initiated touch with this man three times (yes, sue him, he was keeping count) and it pleased Carter enormously every time. Ari wanted to make this man happy, no doubt. He was a bit lost on how to go about it, to be honest, never having had a boyfriend before. But touch seemed to be Carter’s love language, and he could definitely indulge them both there.
Ari walked and schemed.
No matter where they went, Ari tried to keep the same bedtime routine with Remi. He’d read in one of those parenting books that routine was important for kids, that they liked the stability of patterns. It certainly seemed to help with her. She always brushed her teeth, changed into pajamas, and then settled into bed with him sitting next to her. He’d also read that reading to your child was important, but he felt stupid reading storybooks to her. She was past that stage, right? They settled on a book more her age level—The Ranger’s Apprentice—and he read a chapter each night. They were on book four of the series now, and Ari secretly rather liked the story.
Remi cuddled up next to him, listening intently as he read, a sweet and warm weight against his side. She was like the kitten he affectionately called her.
When the chapter finished, Ari replaced the bookmark and set the book aside. On impulse, he kissed the top of her head, and she cuddled in a little harder, smiling. “You sleepy yet, gattina?”
“Maybe.”
‘Maybe’ meaning yes, but she wasn’t ready to let go of him yet. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you push Carter into asking me out because you really like him?” Ari feared it was for a different reason entirely.
Remi didn’t answer immediately, dwelling on the question for a moment. “Yes. But…” she sighed, like a jaded, world-weary woman. “It’s complicated.”
Ari’d rather had that feeling. “It can be complicated. Most feelings are. What I don’t want you to think is that I need to be in a relationship. Gattina, some people think you can’t be happy unless you’re in a relationship with someone. I’m not one of those people. Whether I’m in a relationship or not, my priority’s not going to shift. You’re my priority.”
She peeked up at him with those big brown eyes, so innocent and trusting, staring as if she could see right through him. “But you like Carter.”
“I do. I really like him. But even if we break up, I won’t blame you for it, because it won’t have anything to do with you. My relationship with him is between me and him. Okay?”
Remi stared at him in her penetrating manner another moment, reading his sincerity. Then she relaxed. “Okay.”
Ari hadn’t realized until this moment Remi had always carried this worry with her, a fine line of tension that thrummed unhappily. But the moment she let go of it, he saw its absence, and what remained was a much
happier little girl. He felt relieved he’d finally gotten through to her. With one last kiss on her forehead, he slid free of the bed. “Good. Go to sleep.”
She obediently slid down under the covers. He glanced back as he hit the light switch, saw her eyes still open, and on instinct said, “Ti voglio bene gattina di papà.”
A happy giggle sounded from the bed. “Ti voglio, Papà.”
Good, now he felt she was properly settled. He closed the door and discovered Carter leaned against his own doorjamb, half-in, half-out of the hallway. The merc watched him with open hunger, and it sent an answering thrill up Ari’s spine. Hot damn, but no one had ever looked at him that way, as if they were dying to get their hands on him.
“That’s hella sexy, hon,” Carter husked in his low tone. “Watching you be so sweet to your daughter. Makes me want to do something to you as a reward.”
That fell into Ari’s plans perfectly. He strode right up to Carter and seized the man by his hips, pulling him sharply into him. Ari felt Carter’s surprised exhale, but he didn’t fight Ari’s hold, just flowed into him. Nothing about the way he kissed the man could be called sweet. It was all hunger and heat, tongues warring for dominance. Carter’s hand slid up into Ari’s hair, sending tingles along his skin.
They moved of one accord further into Carter’s bedroom, Ari kicking the door shut behind them. He really didn’t need everyone in the house listening in on this. Carter stopped partway into the room, no doubt because he had no idea where Ari went with this, or where the line was tonight. Ari wasn’t ready for full on sex with the man, not yet, but he didn’t see anything wrong with them getting comfortable on the bed and having a hot and heavy make out session.
He nudged them both towards the bed and Carter followed his lead, climbing up into it first, scooting more towards the middle so they weren’t in danger of falling off the edge. Ari looked at him, stretched out like that, and felt the urge to lick the man like a popsicle. He settled on top of Carter and captured his mouth again, needing to kiss him like he needed air. A moan bubbled out of Carter’s throat and Ari smirked for a split second. The smirk dissolved promptly when Carter did that thing with his tongue, his hand tightening in Ari’s hair. Ari lost his mind. Their noises sounded loud to his ears, everything echoing in the small confines of the room, undeniably erotic.
Ari pulled back—he had to, or he risked losing control completely. This was supposed to be make-out/cuddle time, not something more serious. But something had tripped in his brain and he’d lost his control with it. A glint shone in Carter’s eyes as Ari hovered over him, watching, waiting. Carter’s hair was already out of sorts, the ash brown and grey strands sticking out at odd angles, and since when was that endearing as well as hot? Oh, Ari was fucked.
And not even in the good literal sense, despite the position he lay in.
His libido wailed in protest and despite his better judgement, Ari rocked his hips experimentally, flushing at how warm Carter was where their bodies pressed together. Carter’s eyes fluttered shut on a moan, mouth dropping at the lovely friction the movement sparked. If Ari wasn’t already done for, that expression right there would have done him in.
Not enough. Suddenly, it wasn’t enough for him to lay here like this. He needed skin. Ari levered up onto his knees, shirking off his shirt in one hard yank. Carter needed no further encouragement and also leaned up, pulling at his own shirt. With him still half down and Ari on top of him, he didn’t have the full leverage he needed, and Ari quickly latched onto the hem and helped draw it all the way off.
Hot, firm skin met his hands and he took a moment to appreciate it openly. He’d seen Carter without a shirt on a few times now, but he’d never dared to really look, not like this, with eyes and hands both. He was warmth and smooth muscle and scars, and Ari’s hands—completely without permission—stroked everything for a moment in fascination.
Carter squirmed a bit, a flush heating his cheeks. “Hon, if you could stop petting my chubby stomach, I’d appreciate it.”
Ari didn’t understand the protest. No, Carter wasn’t physically ‘perfect,’ he probably had an extra five to ten pounds on him, but the man was beautiful to him. Was he really self-conscious about the bit of padding around his middle? “I don’t want some perfect version of you. I just want you.”
“Yeah?” Carter’s hands slid up his back, pulling him back in. “Come here and prove it.”
He went willingly, like answering a siren’s call. He had to keep a hand against the mattress, keep himself from crushing the man beneath, which made it a little awkward. Ari wouldn’t trade it for anything—not when it meant having Carter’s lips on his again, moving in a slick slide, hot and wet. Ari began to rock into him, a gentle roll of his hips he wasn’t consciously aware of, not at first. A shiver of heat crept down Ari’s spine to pool in his groin. And—hot damn, yeah, that was the hard length of Carter’s cock lining up against his, hot like a brand through their jeans.
Ari could get used to this—the feel of Carter under him, the firm muscle of hips and chest, the attentive ministration of his hands. Not even to mention what Carter had in his pants—the thought of which made Ari’s mouth water, especially now that he’d felt it.
They broke apart for a gasp of breath, and Carter pressed lines of kisses up Ari’s neck with loud, wet sounds, the scrape and burn of his stubble heightening the pleasure. Ari responded helplessly, breath hitching with every kiss Carter left on his skin, fingers flexing in the fabric of the sheets. Their rocking never stopped, only became faster, harder, with them practically grinding into each other. Ari briefly considered stopping long enough to get jeans open, hands involved, but couldn’t bear the thought of separating to do it. Next time, next time he’d get this man properly naked and—Carter shifted, using the leverage of his feet to press up, and it changed the angle to something perfect. The tension that had been building between them coiled tight in a sudden constriction and Ari shuddered.
“That’s it,” Carter groaned, nearly snarled in dark satisfaction. “That’s it, come for me, come with me—unngh.”
Ari’s climax snapped through him, hard and fast, his vision going dark around the edges. His balance deserted him and he collapsed on Carter’s chest, breathing hard, riding the rise of his endorphins with a blissed-out tranquility. His brain went off into la-la-land for several minutes as he checked out of reality.
Or at least it did until soft lips kissed his temple, Carter’s hands roving over his ass.
“Why are you squeezing my ass?” Ari asked, not really bothered. He didn’t even lift his head, just muttered the words against the side of Carter’s neck.
“It’s a nice ass.”
Ari mulled this over. “That’s a good reason.”
“So this is what you’re like after sex, huh. All blissed out and boneless.”
The first thread of worry wound itself into his brain. “Am I crushing you?”
“It’s a good sort of crushing. Don’t move.”
Well, that was alright, then. Ari stayed flopped where he was, enjoying Carter’s hands wrapped around him. He’d never had an afterglow like this before. It was damn nice. Ari now understood the appeal.
He expected questions from Carter, about why Ari had suddenly made a move, or…well, any of this, really. But Carter just held him, stroking a hand idly up and down his back. Maybe he didn’t want to disturb the afterglow, either. It strangely felt…connecting? Ari wasn’t quite sure what else to call it. He just knew that for every moment he lay in this man’s arms, he felt closer to him. That the anxiety and fear riding so hard at his heels started to slowly fade.
Ari had feared he couldn’t relax enough to have sex with Carter. He’d been afraid that letting his guard down might well be impossible for months yet. Turned out, it was the fear of the thing that had stopped him more than the actual reality. Now that he’d experienced it, he only felt anticipation.
He did need a minute to recover, though. And since he had Carter alo
ne, his curiosity took over. “Carter. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure. What?”
“You said before you were kicked out of the army for insubordination. What did you do?”
“Ahhh. Long story short, I was in Afghanistan. We were ordered to pull out of one of the villages. But there were still civilians trapped in the line of fire, and there was no way we could take them with us. Not enough room in the vehicles. So I gave the order to stay until we could get them out. Got my CO really hot under the collar that I disobeyed him, but I wasn’t leaving kids behind as fodder for bullets.”
Of course he’d gotten into trouble shielding people. Ari wasn’t even surprised. Feeling like he’d needed to give tit for tat, he offered, “I was kicked out for insubordination too.”
“Yeah?” Carter’s head turned a little toward him, tone lilting up with curiosity. “I figured you were army, but what did you do?”
“I was in Iraq. We figured out where the leader for the local troublemakers was, but no one would give the order to take him out. Or do anything. We had people getting killed because of the indecisiveness. So I snuck out one night and put two rounds into his head.”
Carter huffed a laugh. “Of course you did. How long were you in?”
“About a year and a half, all told. I was out of sniper school for barely two months when that bullshit went down.” Ari shifted as the wet spot in his boxers became sticky and uncomfortable. Maybe they should clean up a little before resuming the pillow talk. Or at least strip.
Carter’s tone was soft and gentle. “You still good, hon? You’re fidgety.”
Ah, so he was worried on some level. “No regrets. I want a repeat. Just feeling a little sticky. I think pants should come off.”
“Oh. Well,” Carter’s hand squeezed one ass cheek, his voice going into a deep growl ringing of sex. “We can definitely do that.”