I sat at an oval table in the dining room and spooned spicy peanut soup from a broad bowl. “What am I doing?” I asked. I was back to being whole and pain free. My body still trembled with the memory of it. I grabbed a piece of bread and dipped it into the soup.
He sat opposite to me. “What are you doing? Thinking. Making plans. Shutting me out. I can hear your brain spinning.” His hand curled into a white-knuckled fist on the tablecloth.
I shrugged. “What do you expect? You’ve got a conflict of interest. I don’t see you going up against your brother. I’m alone with here with Josh, I’m unarmed, and I don’t know how I’m going to walk out of here free. I’m trying to work out what to do.”
“Do I have to?” he murmured.
I scrunched my brow. “Do you have to what?”
“Go up against my brother?”
I went still, hollowness opening up inside me. “What are you suggesting?”
His sapphire gaze locked with mine. “Nothing. Everything. There has to be a way that doesn’t pull us apart.”
“A way to what?” I asked stupidly, even though I knew exactly what he meant. I realized this was my chance to find out for certain just how far he was willing to go for me.
He made a frustrated sound and shoved his chair back, raking his fingers through his hair. “Be together. Dammit, Riley, there’s a lot going on you don’t know about.”
The hollowness within me grew. “No, I don’t know even a fraction of what’s going on,” I said. “I don’t care about any of it, either. What I need to know is if Josh and I can walk away clean if we want to. Can we?”
He hesitated. The truth was in that tiny moment. “You’re asking me whether I will choose you or my brother.”
I shook my head. “I’m not asking. I don’t need to. I just got my answer.”
I pushed the soup away and stood. I needed to get away from him. I was back to hurting. Worse than before Maya had tinkered me. This was a crippling pain that made me want to step in front of a train, the sooner the better. Maya wasn’t going to be able to help me with this.
“Because I have to take a second to think about it?” he demanded, standing up. “What the hell do you expect from me? This isn’t a question of deciding what I’m having for lunch or what color I want to paint my living room. This is my family, my job, and my life.”
I shook my head, wrapping my arms around my stomach. “I don’t expect anything.”
“Bullshit.”
He grabbed my shoulders and jerked me close, waiting until I met his angry gaze.
“You expect me to fail you, to screw you over. You refuse to believe I might not be that guy, the one that fails you. You refuse to give me the slightest benefit of the doubt.” He shoved me away in disgust. “Why I even—” He broke off, his mouth twisting as he looked up at the ceiling. “Fuck me.”
I grabbed ahold of my anger with both hands. It was better than that pain that felt like dying. “Yeah, because it’s not like you forced me to work for you by tabbing me, or lied to me about who Shana really is or that Touray is your brother,” I said. “Why wouldn’t I trust you? Given that someone just like your brother killed my mother and tortured Josh, and the fact that I’ve spent every day of my life afraid that someone like him might find me and take me, why would I want to know for sure that I was your first choice? That you’d care more about my life than your brother’s fight? You left me in that cage so you could hide those damned artifacts and you never looked back. Do you know what he did? He was going to leave me there. I had to break the nulls to get out. So excuse me if I have a couple of trust issues.”
His face went scarlet and then paled to marble. He might as well have been made out of the stuff. I could read wary bitterness in his eyes, and lurking beneath it, fear. Fear of losing me? It didn’t seem possible.
“It sounds like the only way you’ll ever believe in me is if I let you walk out of my life. No games. No strings. Is that the proof you want?” he asked, the words dry and hard as pebbles.
“I want—”
I stopped cold. What the hell did I want? But I didn’t even have to think about it. The answer was easy: Price. But I wanted him wrapped up in a package that came with freedom and let me choose my own road, not get dragged down someone’s else’s path because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I didn’t want to feel badly for severing him from family. There was no pretty package. So, which did I want more? Freedom without strings or Price? Because I couldn’t see how I could have both.
My head ached, and my brain felt prickly and swollen. I was too tired to think about this. Too tired to decide whether I wanted chocolate or vanilla ice cream, much less make a decision that would completely change my entire life and endanger my whole family. Okay, the endangering part was a done deal. Everybody I cared about became a target the minute I revealed myself to Touray, much less to the rest of his Tyet buddies. This was about me and Price and what I needed from him.
I put my hands on Price’s chest and pushed away. He let me step back a few inches, but didn’t let go.
“Tell me, Riley. You told me you love me. I hope to hell that’s still true because I love you more than breathing. What can I do to prove that you can trust me short of walking out the door or turning my back on my brother? Tell me what I have to do.”
He loved me. The words sent my heart spinning with joy even as despair settled over me. It wasn’t enough. It was a Catch-22. I couldn’t win for losing. “I wish I knew,” I said finally, the words so soft I barely could hear them.
Price heard. He dropped his hands. For a moment he said nothing. “If that’s the way you need it, then you’ve got it.”
Instantly I felt cold. There was a finality in his voice that scared me. It pissed me off, too. I know it’s absolutely crazy, but as much I needed him to let me safely walk away, I also needed him to fight for me. Clearly I needed to get my head straightened out.
Touray came out of the hallway followed by Cass and Josh. Cass looked almost transparent, her bones sharp beneath her skin. Her eyes were sunken. She gave me a hazy nod. She saw the table and wordlessly sat down, stuffing food in her mouth with both hands.
Maya had fixed Josh’s hands and the rest of his injuries though she couldn’t reverse the effects of the SD on his body. He stopped in the doorway and stared at me. His eyes were shadowed and bruised looking, but he recognized me.
“I hurt you,” he said tonelessly.
“You didn’t mean to,” I said. I couldn’t get a read on how he was feeling or what he was thinking.
He didn’t seem to hear. “I could have killed you. I wanted to kill you.”
“You didn’t know it was me.”
He shook his head and looked down, anger and fear rippling across his tight expression. “But I did.”
I could only stare. My stomach turned inside out. Price made a guttural noise and started forward. I thrust out my hand to stop him. “Why?” I could barely push the word out. I felt strangled.
“I wanted to be dead.”
“You thought I’d kill you?” I squeaked, incredulous.
“You should have killed me. I asked you to.”
I was back to staring. My mouth hung open. I closed it, then opened it to say something, but words failed me. My brain was blank. “Why?”
The corner of his mouth twisted upward in an acid smile. “You don’t know what they did in my head. It was hell. Worse than hell. It was sick and twisted. Your worst nightmares come to life. Then they gave me the SD and made me enjoy it.”
“But that’s over now,” I said. “Cass stopped them. Didn’t she? Didn’t you?” I turned to her.
“Sure,” she said, her mouth full. She swallowed. “Look, I took out all the crap they put in his mind, but that kind of stuff leaves scars. The only way to clear all tha
t out is to wipe his mind all the way back to being a baby. Nobody wants that. Besides, he’s got latent ability and the SD addiction is going to ride him. He’ll have to fight it all his life.”
“Ability?” I looked back at Josh. “What kind?”
“Haunter,” he said. His mouth worked, and he bared his teeth. “I’m a fucking haunter.”
“Shoulda been a dreamer,” Cass said as she spooned soup into her mouth. “Maybe you still could be. But your mind knows haunts now. I could maybe help you. I’d have to go back into your head.”
“No!” he said sharply. “No one is getting into my head again.” Then more quietly, “Thanks all the same.”
She shrugged. “Don’t blame you. No matter what, you’re going to have to learn some control or you’ll risk going nuts again. I can talk you through some of it. Or maybe you should find a haunter to help. Offer’s on the table if you need it.”
“Thanks, but I don’t much care for the company you keep.”
Cass’s gaze sharpened and turned menacing. I swear the temperature in the room dropped twenty degrees. She pointed the butter knife at Josh.
“Don’t forget I know all about you, Sparky. I was in Riley’s mind while she was trying to rescue you, while she risked her life—not for the first time—just to find you. Yeah, you’ve been through a rough time, but you knew what you were up to, and you knew you were deliberately sucking her into this mess, so don’t go acting all high and mighty. You might go have a look at yourself in the mirror, first.”
With that she stood and looked at Maya, who stood in the kitchen doorway drinking a glass of iced tea.
“Got some vodka? I could use a shot or two.”
Maya nodded, and the two disappeared into the kitchen, leaving me alone with Josh, Touray, and Price.
I felt like the world was spinning out of control. The floor kept rising and falling like I was on the deck of a ship. I edged to one of the dining room chairs and gripped the back, steadying myself.
“What now?” I whispered, more to myself than them.
“We’re leaving,” Price said and took his brother’s arm. “Now. Travel us out of here.”
“Like hell,” Touray said. “I’ve got questions and these two have at least some of the answers. Besides, you know she’s stronger than Drummond. She can use the blood to track Kensington’s last steps. She has to be.” He looked at me, his brows deeply furrowed. “I’m right, aren’t I? You can track dead trace?”
Price cut in before I could answer. “Doesn’t matter, Gregg. She’s out, unless and until she wants in.”
That boggled Touray. Me, too. Both of us stared at Price like he’d grown tentacles out of his ears.
“Not a chance,” Touray said finally, when he’d found his voice again. “Look, I know you’ve got a hard-on for her. Maybe you’ve even fallen in love with her. But you know what this means. We can’t just let her go. Besides, if we don’t protect her, Savannah will get her, or somebody else. You don’t want that, do you?”
A white line appeared around Price’s lips as he pressed them together. “That’s a risk she’s willing to take,” he said. He looked at me, his brows rising. “Isn’t that right?”
My throat hurt too much to speak. I gave a little nod. Was he really walking away? Letting me go, just like that? I was torn between swamping relief and utter desolation. He could have fought harder to get me to stay with him.
God I’m a fool and a contrary bitch. I wouldn’t have fought for me either. I’d have run for the hills as fast as I could. Which apparently was exactly what Price was doing.
“Clay—” Touray started.
Price whirled to face him. “No,” he said. Cold menace turned his words to bullets. “We walk away. None of our people go after Riley or Josh. We pretend they don’t even exist.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Then you’ll never find the artifacts.”
My mouth fell open. I hadn’t expected that and neither had Touray. He paled and shock slackened his face. “What are you saying?”
“I’m giving you terms. Josh and Riley walk away clean, or you don’t get the three artifacts back. Take your pick.”
“You’re a son of a bitch,” Touray muttered and spots of red appeared in his cheeks. Anger poured off him and thickened the air so it was hard to breathe.
“So are you,” Price agreed. “What’s it going to be? You’ll have three of the artifacts and the vial of blood. That cripples Savannah and anybody else she’s working with. You don’t really need Riley, or Josh.”
If I’d been in a laughing mood, I would have burst into gales. Touray wasn’t going to be able to push Price around. Maybe I was right. Maybe Touray’s organization was going to have to change to suit Price better. Maybe Price would teach his brother a thing or two about honor and integrity.
“Fine,” Touray gave in finally, when Price showed no sign of backing down. “I’ll leave them alone.” He looked at me, his glittering black eyes pulling at me with questions. He turned back to his brother. “You know you’re not doing them any favors. I may keep my hands off, but no one else will. If you care at all about her, you’ll let this go. We’ll keep her safe. That’s better for us all.”
I held my breath. What would his answer be? What did I want it to be?
The corners of Price’s mouth quirked in a ghost of a smile that faded as quickly as it came. “She’ll have to make her own self safe. That’s better for her,” he said finally.
The words hit me like fists to the gut. He really was walking away. But more than that, he was letting me have myself. It was a gift. It was completely against everything he was. He was a hard man used to protecting the people he cared about. To let me do what I needed to do—whatever that was—said he really did love me. It also meant I might have made the wrong choice.
I stood rooted to the ground as he shoved his hands into his pockets, his chin jutting as he met his brother’s angry gaze.
Touray finally gave a quiet sigh. “You’ve got my word.”
Price gave a little nod. “Good.”
His brother held out his hand. “Let’s go.”
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Price. He was leaving. Just like that. Was I going to let him go without a word?
I told myself to say something, anything, but my tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth. I stood there like an iron statue. A tear slipped out of the corner of one of my eyes and rolled silently down my cheek.
Price pulled a hand out of his pocket and reached to take his brother’s. All of a sudden he twisted and strode over to me. He captured my head in his hands and pressed his forehead against mine.
“Crying?” he asked raggedly. “This is what you want. Tell me now if it’s not. Because I’d just as soon not grind myself up over nothing.”
Grind himself up. Was I really doing this? I closed my eyes and gave a little nod. I couldn’t do what I needed to do and be tied to him, to them. “It’s what I want. What I need, I think.”
“Damn it. Damn you,” he whispered without any heat at all. His thumbs rubbed over my cheeks. He lifted his head, and his mask fell away, exposing a turbulent mix of longing, anger, anguish, and despair. “You’ll be safe here until the storm is over. Then get out of town.”
I shook my head, my hands pressing against his. “I’m not hiding anymore.”
His fingers curled into my scalp. “You have to. They’ll be hunting you.”
“I’ll be ready.”
“Riley—”
He broke off with a frustrated sound. “I know you want me to stay out of your life, but Savannah Morrell and the others, they won’t hold back. What they did to Josh was nothing. You have to hide,” he pleaded.
He pleaded.
“The genie’s out of the bottle,” I said. “So
oner or later they’ll find me. The only way to keep me and mine safe is to make sure they know better than to screw with me.”
“Without my help,” he said bitterly.
“For now,” I said. “Just . . . for now.”
He went still, searching my face. Finally he said, “You know where to find me.”
I nodded. “I’ve got your trace.”
He hesitated, then let his fingers relax, though he didn’t let go. “Time to be on my way then. I don’t suppose you’ll listen if I tell you to be careful.”
“I always try.”
He scraped his lower lip with his teeth and squeezed once more with his fingers and stepped back. Piercing cold hit the back of my neck. I jerked and stared at him. Had he tabbed me? Again?
Price lifted his brows and gave an unapologetic shrug as he backed away to his brother. He knew as well as I did that I could destroy the tab.
Warmth spread through me. Somehow he’d given me exactly what I needed. Room—and trust—to make choices for myself and do things my way, but he’d still made it clear he was staking a claim.
He looked over at Josh, and his expression morphed into stone-cold killer mode. I shivered. “Touch her again, and the last week will seem like a vacation at the beach.”
Josh’s lip curled. “I’ve got abilities now. I’m not afraid of you.”
“You don’t have to be scared. You just have to believe me. I’ve taken down people with abilities much greater than yours. You’re nothing special. So trust me when I tell you that if I hear you’ve so much as touched Riley wrong, I’ll come for you. You’ll never see me coming, and you’ll regret it for the rest of your very short life.”
“Ahem,” I said, cutting in. “Josh isn’t going to hurt me again, and if he tries, I’ll break his legs for him.”
I gave my almost brother-in-law a look that said I was absolutely serious. He had the grace to flush.
“As for you—”
“As for me?” Price taunted when I didn’t finish.
Trace of Magic: 1 (The Diamond City Magic Novels) Page 31