by Tanya Stowe
On another day there was a power outage in the building. The main fuse panel had been tampered with—not enough to require major repairs, just enough to irritate Sassa and slow her work.
After the power kicked back on, it was a long time before Sassa’s computer whirred back to life. She feared she’d lost all her work.
These were smaller incidents, just enough to keep Kopack and his agents hopping. But Sassa was certain the incidents were orchestrated by the Black Knights. It felt as if they were testing the security boundaries around her, searching for any weakness they could use to get to her. That thought terrified her.
Fear stayed at the back of her mind no matter how hard she worked or tried to force it out.
After the incident with the electric panel, Kopack moved the classes and professors’ offices to a temporary location on campus, closed the building to everyone else and wired all the windows and doors with alarms.
Still, Sassa didn’t feel safe in the building. Every time she shut her eyes, she saw Chekhov marching toward her like a relentless robot.
The only way she would be truly safe was to find where Sam hid the formula because, right now, it didn’t seem she would ever be able to recreate the virus and find a cure.
Frustrated, she scrubbed her hands and headed to Sam’s office...although it looked less like an office and more like a nursery. Keri’s toys were strewn across a blanket on the floor and right in the middle lounged broad-shouldered Officer De Luca with his long legs stretched far beyond the boundaries of the blanket. Leaning on one elbow, he stacked blocks on top of each other, which Keri promptly knocked down and laughed until she rolled over to her side.
The sound of her daughter’s joyous giggles was just the medicine Sassa needed to refill her flagging spirits. She had to succeed for her daughter’s sake and all the children who might die if she didn’t. But first, she needed a break.
She plopped onto the couch and closed her eyes.
“I take it your latest experiment went bust.” Jared had pulled Keri to a sitting position and stacked the blocks again. Peals of sweet laughter rippled across the air and Sassa smiled. She didn’t answer. She didn’t need to. He seemed to know what she needed.
At almost eight o’clock at night, all of her staff had left hours ago but she’d stayed on to finish. When Keri got fussy, Jared fed her a jar of baby food. The remnants still sat on the tray of the portable high chair and...now that Sassa looked...on her baby’s chin.
“Thanks for taking over so I could finish.” She pulled a wipe from a nearby package and cleaned the orange carrots off Keri’s little round chin and the wrinkles of her chubby neck.
“You’re welcome. She’s fun.” He frowned in bemusement, a kind of puzzled “I’m lost” look that Sassa found endearing. He gestured toward Keri’s face.
“She’s squirmy. I did my best to get it all.”
Sassa couldn’t help but chuckle at his slightly abashed tone. Who would have thought a tiny baby could fluster this big man? “You did fine. Half the time I can’t tame her.” She picked Keri up to give her a hug but her daughter wiggled and reached for the toys. Sassa placed her back on the blanket.
“See? You are her favorite new toy.” Laughter filled her tone.
“That I can do.” Dutifully, he stacked the blocks one more time. Keri pushed them over and giggled.
Sassa laughed as the baby toppled onto her side again, overcome with laughter. “She loves that little trick.”
He chucked Keri’s chin. “She loves tormenting me. She’s a heartbreaker already.”
His words struck Sassa deep and made her think of his wife. “You and your wife have no children?”
Freezing, he stared at her for a moment then slowly rose to his feet. “Ex-wife. She’s my ex-wife. Our divorce was finalized, remember? And no. Thankfully, we had no children. That would have made this all the more difficult.”
Sassa lowered her gaze. “Is that the reason you lost your faith? Because your marriage failed?”
Tossing the wooden block to the floor, he shook his head. “Just one more reason in a long list.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”
He shrugged. “Partners deserve to understand each other. I grew up on a farm, just like you did. At least, for part of my life. My grandad had a place in the Coachella valley. I lived with him from the time I was eleven until I went off to college. His was the only home I ever knew. In the summertime, I’d get up before the dawn and ride the tractor with him. I loved the smell of the green, growing things. I loved watching life spring from the earth. When I went off to college, it was natural for me to go into biology.” He stopped. His features had softened, as if the memories of his grandfather eased his mind. “But then, like all living things, my grandfather passed. Unfortunately for me, it was just when I needed him the most.”
He looked out the office windows at the lab. “I was so lost and lonely. I needed his wisdom and his courage.”
“You didn’t have any other family?”
His features changed again. This time his gaze took on a shadowy, almost angry focus. “Yeah, I did. My mother. But that’s another reason I’m convinced God doesn’t listen. If He did, my life would have been very different.”
He faced the glass again, looking away from her, but his voice still held that hard edge. “My mom was a drunk—a beautiful, helpless, dreamy girl who couldn’t wait to get off the farm. She went to Hollywood determined to make it as a singer and all she found was a string of men, a bottle and me.
“We were living in a dump downtown. Hadn’t eaten in days because she’d spent the last of her money on booze. She was out of her mind, gone. Someone must have called the police because they came to get us. Of course, she fought them. I was scared, yelling at them not to hurt her. This one policeman got down on my level and talked to me...just talked. I don’t even remember what he said but I remember his voice. So calm and kind. The others didn’t seem to care, hardly even knew I was there, but this guy never left my side...not until my grandad came to get me. His name was Petersen. Officer Petersen. I never forgot him or what he did for me. I wanted to be that kind of man so, after I got my biology degree, I went into law enforcement. Bio-terrorism seemed to be the best combination of both.”
“What happened to your mother?”
“Shortly after my grandfather died, the police found her on skid row in downtown LA. She was dying, too, needed hospitalization. I sold the farm to pay for her care. After she passed, I used the rest to pay for my college.”
Sassa was silent for a long while. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “Don’t be. Selling the farm didn’t hurt as much as it could have. Water became too expensive. Those last few years, scrabbling a living out of the dirt killed my granddad. I didn’t want to end up the same way. I wanted my life to be different, so I sold the farm and moved on.”
Her heart ached for that little boy/young man caught in a world of adult problems. He had reason to be hurt and angry. She understood why he felt abandoned by God. After what she’d been through, she’d almost drowned in despair and grief. Only the grace of God and believers like her parents and Sam had helped keep her heart away from despair.
“I’m sorry you felt so alone...” She halted, almost tripping over her own words. “But later...”
Later he had a wife, someone who should have understood, should have loved and helped him overcome his difficult past. Instead, she’d turned her back on him.
Sassa looked up. Jared’s gaze was focused on her, almost as if he knew exactly what she was thinking.
He gave his head a slight shake. “I don’t blame Jessica for not sticking around. I disappointed her.”
“I do.” In point of fact, she was pretty angry with a woman she’d never met. “Ambition is never a good motive for ending a marriage, especially with a man like you who has
so many other good qualities. You’re a loyal friend. I’ve never met anyone quite so loyal. You’re determined to save Sam’s legacy even after he’s gone. You...” She scrambled for the right words and finally just spoke her feelings out loud. “You take care of my baby like she’s your own even though you don’t know anything about infants. You drive an hour and a half to bring me a hallongrotta just to make me feel better. Friends like that are worth their weight in gold.”
He shook his head, but a small smile wavered over his lips. “Jessica would say those are all things an ambitious person needs to do to get ahead...and I learned them a little too late.”
“That may be why someone like Jessica does those things. But you’re not like that. You’re real. You’re kind and caring. Besides, she gave up on you too soon. Stopping a pathogen that could destroy the world’s economies is a pretty ambitious goal.”
Jared shook his head. “I’m not the one who’s going to save the world. You are.”
“We are. Someone told me Sam chose us both.”
“Not fair. You can’t use my own words against me.”
“I can...unless they’re not true. Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe I’m not the right person for the job.”
He met her gaze, his dark brown eyes focused on her—piercing, as if they looked into her innermost being. “Yes, you are. In fact, I think you’re the only one for the job.”
The deep sincerity in his voice and his dark, penetrating gaze sparked something to life inside Sassa. That nebulous, tingling spark had nothing to do with confidence or certainty and everything to do with a man putting his trust in her, believing in her. She hadn’t had that feeling in a long, long time. Maybe ever.
And the very last person who should be awakening that feeling was a man still in love with his wife. Because no matter how he might deny it, Sassa heard that truth beneath all his words. Jared still loved his ex-wife.
The woman didn’t deserve his love. She’d let him down in ways he didn’t even recognize. But that only made Sassa more determined not to let her faith in him falter. She couldn’t bear to fail the grown man who stood before her, wearing his little-boy broken heart on his sleeve.
She looked away, unable to meet his unwavering gaze.
Jared touched the earpiece wrapped around his ear. Sassa tensed. It seemed like every time he did that, another Black Knights attack was in progress.
But this time Jared smiled and said, “Thanks, Butler. You’re just in time.” He gave her that wry grin she was beginning to recognize. The one that said he was done trying to find meaning in the world and, most of all, himself.
“We’ve become way too maudlin. I’ve got just what we need.” He opened the door as an agent unlocked the outer lab door and entered, carrying two large bags. Jared met him halfway then returned. A sharp, pleasing aroma filled the small office.
Sassa’s stomach rumbled. “Is that Chinese? Oh, bless you! I’m starving.”
Jared set the food out on the desk. “We’ve got fried rice, kung pao chicken, chow mein and my personal favorite, egg foo yong. It’s the best I’ve ever had.”
Sassa paused. “From Chang’s Palace on Shaw?”
Jared grinned. “You know it, too?”
“Absolutely the best. It didn’t take you long to find the place.”
“Hey, that’s my specialty. Takeout.”
Sassa laughed.
“Laugh if you must, but not all of us live in the belt of the best fresh fruits and vegetables in the country.”
His words were a stark reminder for both of them of what was at stake if Sassa didn’t find a cure for the pathogen. Their gazes met and fearful dread flashed between them.
“I’ve seen crops devastated by Xylella.” His tone was low. “Row after row of dead plants. I can’t imagine what this thing will do.”
“I can imagine it. I can’t stop the images of dead orchards and vineyards flashing through my mind. It’s all I can see when I close my eyes. That and Chekhov marching toward me with that knife he used on Sam.”
“We won’t let him get to you, Sassa. I promise.”
But it was a promise Sassa wasn’t sure he could keep. Each time the Black Knights made a move, they got closer and closer. It was only a matter of time until they found a way to get to her. She and Jared looked at each other. Sassa feared her unspoken thoughts would show in her features.
She looked away first, spooned food onto her paper plate, snapped her chopsticks loose and sat on the couch. “Takeout is my staple.”
Jared scooped noodles into his mouth, chewed then shook his head. “Those puréed carrots I fed Keri didn’t come from the store.”
“You’re right about that. I try to give her the best. Once a month, I do up some fresh things for her and freeze them.”
“What? Mommy doesn’t deserve the best, too?”
Sassa laughed. “Mommy doesn’t have time for the best—not for herself. She’s too busy making it for the little girl she loves.” Keri chose that moment to pull herself up on Sassa’s leg. She reached for the plate on her mother’s lap, but Sassa lifted it out of reach.
“From what I’ve seen, Mommy doesn’t take the time to eat anything...not even the box of hallongratta she claimed she could finish.”
Sassa paused. “You looked in my box of hallongratta? Are you checking up on me?”
Jared nodded. “Yes, I am. I told you, my partner gets what she wants. I thought you might need a refill, so I looked and saw that you hardly touched them.”
She frowned. “I’ve been a little distracted.”
“Yes, you have. But you said you’re a stress eater and that’s not true.”
She lowered the plate to her lap. “I feel like I’m being cross-examined.”
“No. I just want to point out that you say a lot of things about yourself that I’m not going to believe anymore. Especially the ones about what you can’t do.”
That unwanted tingling was back again. This time it brought a flush to her cheeks. She was glad Jared chose to focus on the plate in his hand or he would have seen the telltale blush.
That tingle was nice. Pleasant. She could get used to it if she wasn’t careful.
Partners, she reminded herself. She and Jared were just partners, like he’d said. No need to get crazy over a partner. Still...it was a nice feeling. Kindness was something she didn’t expect. She should return the favor and try to be a little kinder, too.
She ate the last of her egg foo yong then leaned back on the couch. Content and full, she closed her eyes. Keri chose that moment to fuss and reach for her. She pulled the baby up onto her lap, jostling the plate all the while. Leaning over, Jared took it from her hands. Keri continued to fuss and rub her eyes while Sassa cuddled her. Jared stood to throw away the plates and opened the small refrigerator behind the desk.
“Is this what she wants?” He held out a bottle.
“Told you. For someone with no children, you’re pretty good.”
“I’m a quick learner.”
Keri settled in with the bottle, snuggling deep into her mother’s arms. Sassa closed her eyes as Jared placed the leftovers in the refrigerator and gathered the empty bags. She must have dozed because she jerked awake when he placed a blanket over her and Keri.
“Oh, no. I can’t fall asleep. I need to get back to work as soon as I put her in her portable crib.”
Jared gently pushed her back against the pillows and crouched down to tuck the edges of the blanket around them. “You need to sleep, Sassa. You’re exhausted. Tomorrow is soon enough to save the world.”
A small laugh slipped out and ended in a yawn.
He was right. Sometimes she was annoyed by how right he could be. For now, though, she didn’t fight him or argue. Her eyes drifted closed. He moved across the room, the lights went off and the door closed.
Why couldn’t “being r
ight” translate into “being Mr. Right”?
She nodded off before she could answer her own silly question.
FOUR
Sassa opened her eyes slowly. Murky light filtered beneath her shades, so it was later than her usual 6:00 a.m. awakening. After two more fruitless days of research and sleeping in the lab, Jared had insisted she go home for a good night’s rest. After she put Keri down, she’d collapsed on her bed and slept through the night, probably because she felt safe with Jared just a shout away on her couch.
She paused. Keri should have been awake long ago. Was she as tired as her mother? She slipped from the bed and tiptoed across her wood floors to the door, hoping not to wake her sleeping child. She eased it open—just a crack—and heard the sound of Keri’s giggles. Jared lay stretched out on the floor, his legs dangling off Keri’s blanket again as they played their “stack the blocks and knock it over” game once more.
As she watched, her daughter lost interest and leaned forward, reaching for Jared’s face. Her breath caught as her six-month-old daughter rose to her knees. This new effort made Sassa want to rush in and scoop her up, but Jared calmly held out his hands. Keri gripped his thumbs and pulled herself up...all the way to her feet. She stood on wobbly legs, grinning from ear to ear. For some reason, Sassa suppressed the urge to rush in.
“Look at you, little girl!” Jared’s tone was low and so gentle, it made Sassa’s heart pound. “Aren’t you proud of yourself? I am. Before you know it, you’ll be walking.” Her legs gave way and she plopped to her well-padded bottom. Her eyes widened in surprise. Jared chuckled and that made Keri decide it was funny, too. Her sweet giggles echoed over the room.
Sassa’s heart stopped.
That. That’s what my baby has been missing in her life. A father who encourages, who challenges with a firm but gentle tone and makes her giggle. Tears misted her eyes and she stepped back, away from the crack in the door and leaned against the wall.
Why now, Lord? Why would you show me a perfect father now?