by Paige Nick
THE EX-CEO
Trevor started his own company – a small artisanal bakery, located in the heart of Rondebosch, called Banting Buns. Maureen helped him formulate many of his unique recipes, including his trademarked cauli-bread. Last weekend the Sunday Times called Banting Buns a ‘local treasure’ and gave it four stars. Trevor is currently putting together a book of recipes.
THE EX-PUBLISHER
After going through intensive rehab and finding Jesus, Frank took up a position at CUM Books, where he discovered that publishing could be lucrative after all. On weekends he goes to Pollsmoor Prison, where he teaches inmates to read. He’s also actively involved in a local campaign to abolish African Fiction sections from bookstores, promoting the idea that all fiction should be displayed together, in alphabetical order. His tell-all memoir, entitled Two Nights in a South African Prison, is due out at the end of this month.
THE HIJACKERS
Papsak is training to be a mortuary assistant; he has three more years to go before he is accredited. Last week Thabo bought him an Apple iPhone for his birthday.
Thabo started giving Real Meal Revolution low-carb, high-protein courses in the townships, which have become hugely successful. He has his own LCHF book coming out in all eleven vernaculars soon: Banting Made Nca! People call him the Tim Noakes of Khayelitsha.
He is currently single, and drives a blue BMW three-series that he bought from a second-hand dealer (not Lefty).
TIM NOAKES
Professor Noakes is alive and well, and continues to spread the word about the Banting lifestyle in between court cases and Twitter wars. Frank Collins continues sending him weekly care packages, filled with sugary treats, donuts, Ouma rusks and chocolate brownies, which remain unacknowledged, and may or may not have been responsible for the death of the first hitman.
The Prof recently launched his new book, which is already a bestseller. His publishers are very happy.
THE END
BULLETPROOF THANKS
This book was made with very few carbs and a great deal of love and support.
To Sarah Lotz, who has taught me more than I’ll ever know, encouraged, advised, nurtured and inspired me: you’re ace, and I’m beyond grateful.
My forever thanks goes to the early readers for their love and tough love: Sarah Lotz, Helen Moffett, Edyth Bulbring, Rahla Xenopolous, Fourie Botha, Karin Barry-McCormack, Rachel Zadok and Bongani Kona.
Ian Waddell, trainer to the stars (http://www.personalbest.co.za) for answering my billion and one questions about exercise.
Ruby Bunn and Ethan Gray, for all the information about the interior of ambulances and rigor mortis.
The wonderful and patient BookStorm team: Louise Grantham, Russell Clarke and Nicola van Rooyen.
The phenomenally talented professional book lovers who worked with such care and passion to make this book: Reneé Naudé and Karin Barry-McCormack. And Megan Clausen and Sophy Kohler, for extraordinary eagle-eyed proofing.
Warren McKnight for your unbreakable support.
Editor and friend extraordinaire, Helen Moffett: with each new project I work on with you, I can’t believe my luck and your talent.
And of course, thanks to Professor Tim Noakes for having a great sense of humour and being such a good sport about this whole thing, particularly considering what happens to him on page one.
If you’d like to get in touch with me, please
join me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/paige.nick.fans
find me on Twitter @ paigen
or email me on [email protected].
The incredible Noakes Foundation also deserves a shout-out: here’s a bit about what they do.
Professor Tim Noakes and the Noakes Foundation are committed to world-class research through a large-scale research programme that addresses the scientific causes of the pandemics of obesity and type 2 diabetes. They are also flagshipping a community intervention programme that aims to help those with limited means learn to eat more healthily, heal themselves with their diets, and to feed their families and future generations in better ways.
Visit www.thenoakesfoundation.org
or contact [email protected]
If Banting has changed your life or the life of someone you know, please consider contacting the foundation to help sponsor someone with limited means to change theirs.
Also by Paige Nick:
A Million Miles from Normal
This Way Up
Pens Behaving Badly
Writing as Helena S. Paige with Sarah Lotz and Helen Moffett, a series of choose-your-own-adventure erotic novels:
A Girl Walks into a Bar
A Girl Walks into a Wedding
A Girl Walks into a Blind Date