He stepped around me, moving up to the pad and sliding his key through it. It beeped, a much happier tone than the sound it made when I slid mine. Rex then moved in front of it, and a moment later a light shone out, moving up and down along his eye. My eyebrows went up. Wow, apparently there was a retina scanner involved. A moment later the words ‘Access Granted—User Identified: Bennett, Rex’ appearing on the screen. The lock’s tumbler clicked, and the door opened.
“Wow, look at that,” I said in a joking voice. “It’s magic.”
Rex motioned for me to enter, and I did, glancing around, my eyes widening at the size of the room.
Felicia’s Lab was huge, though it looked mostly empty. Off in the far left corner there was a collection of devices plugged into industrial strength outlets, but I couldn’t tell from here what they were powering. Counters lined the walls, most of them empty of even the most basic equipment, and in the middle of the room were several tables, including a few padded ones obviously made for a person to recline on for testing. Other than that, though, it was just linoleum flooring and blank wall-space.
“Looks more interesting from the outside,” Rex said with a shrug as I continued to look around, making sure I didn’t show any extra attention to the setup in the corner.
“Yeah, I guess so,” I said vaguely as I meandered toward the devices. “What’s this?”
Rex moved up beside me, looking down over the setup. “Oh, that. Just something King Corp has been working on for a few years. Not FDA approved yet, so there’s really not anything more we can do with it.”
“Some kind of secret?” I asked, and he chuckled, raising an eyebrow at me.
“No, not really. We’ve been using this lab to develop a system to increase a man’s penis size without any kind of plastic surgery or insert.” He shrugged. “Obviously, I don’t need it, but I’m sure your boyfriend will want to start saving.”
I choked, cheeks going red, then I glared at him. “You’re fucking with me.”
“Nope,” he said, flashing me a smile. “It’s going to make me a fortune if the FDA ever okays it. Not that many test subjects have died from it, and from the polls we’ve taken, men think it’s worth the risk.”
“That’s seriously what’s in this lab?” I said, looking over at the machinery. How could a bigger dick possibly be worth the risk of dying? Men. I would never understand them. Thank God for my vagina.
“Yup,” he said. “Well, that and the biosynthetic heart growth chamber. Other than those two things, it’s pretty much empty.
I stood up straight, trying to keep the enormous smile from filling my face. “Oh?” I said casually. “You have a bio-heart, too? That’s nice.”
“It is nice,” Rex said with a serious nod. “And it looks like the FDA might actually give in on that one soon. Apparently it’s worth the risk, while penis size is not. Which is funny, because according to our polls, 96% of men feel that penis size is more important than heart health.”
I grimaced. “Please tell me that you don’t fall into that category.”
Rex snorted. “I was born with huge junk and a heart that was on the edge of collapse by the time I was eighteen. I am definitely in the 4%. Besides, if you can’t pump the blood, you can’t pump the hips.”
My eyes dropped down to his crotch, totally without my permission. Bad eyes. “You really enjoy talking about your manparts, don’t you? You know there’s a word for that, right? It’s called sexual harassment.”
Rex nodded solemnly. “Yeah, sorry about that. It’s the fact that you look like a Celtic Aphrodite, and it’s driving me nuts.”
My cheeks went red, and I looked away. “I know damn well I’m not even close to your league, so whatever the fuck you’re trying to do, stop it.” This was a man who literally looked like something Photoshopped in a magazine. I had pudge around the middle from the chocolate chip ice cream I ate straight from the carton to celebrate Fridays.
Rex shook his head, a look of disbelief coming over his face as he stepped closer to me. So close that my face was practically pressed into his chest, his massive body overtaking mine as he looked down at me with surprisingly caring eyes.
“You’re right, Mason. You are so far from my league that we’re not even playing the same sport. All the requirements for your game… Sweet, sassy, smart, sexy, loving, brave, moral, and strong… You’ve got ‘em. Me? All my league requires is that you’re willing to swallow your pride and do whatever it takes to win, no matter what a loser it makes you in the end. So when I tell you how fucking beautiful you are, I’m not trying to ‘do’ anything. Except maybe this.”
I sucked in a sharp breath as Rex suddenly bent down, lips dropping down to press gently against mine. I couldn’t help but squeeze my eyes shut as the soft caress made my entire body tingle and my lady parts twitch, desperate for more.
It didn’t last long—not nearly long enough according to my body—then our lips parted and Rex stepped back, giving me another soft smile.
“See you at eight, Mason. Enjoy the lab. I did.”
- mason -
I glared at the computer screen as it refused to obey my commands, wishing I could go dominatrix on its naughty ass. Talk about a crappy first morning. Well, you know, except the really awesome kiss part.
BEEP!
Password is Incorrect.
BEEP!
Password is Incorrect.
BEEP!
Password is Incorrect.
“Fuck you too, motherfucker,” I spat, taking a sip of the hot tea I might have stolen off Rex’s desk while he was standing in the break room talking to an abnormally pretty man, something it seemed he spent a good amount of his day doing. That’s all he’d done this morning, anyway. The tea looked untouched, and even if he had taken a few sips, I doubted he had herpes in his mouth. He worked at a pharmaceutical company, after all.
BEEP!
Password is Incorrect.
“Did I say you could beep at me, bitch?” I hissed. The computer laughed back at me in complete silence and without changing its screen at all. Okay, maybe I was going a bit overboard with the anthropomorphizing, but that's what it felt like.
“The password is ‘littlegirl’, Ms. Mason, but you probably don’t want to enter it.”
I jumped, spinning around so fast that my spinny office chair ended up going around twice before coming to a stop facing Valentine, who was standing just behind me, grinning. Did he have an invisibility cloak or something? The door was right in front of my desk! How did he get behind me without me seeing or hearing him?
Val gave me another smile as he shifted from sneaker to sneaker, looking way too hot for reality standing there in his grey coveralls with his man-bun.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Mason, I didn’t mean to interrupt—”
“No, it’s fine!” I said, smiling at him. “You surprised me, that’s all.”
“I cleaned your office for you.”
That was an understatement. After seeing it yesterday, I’d come in with expectations of having to get down on my hands and knees with a bottle of Windex, but on arrival I’d found that the place was sparkling. The beat up filing cabinets had been replaced with brightly colored pink versions, there were pictures on the wall that I could have sworn I’d ‘liked’ on Pinterest, and a little mini fridge had even been set up in the corner and covered with cute magnets.
Valentine giggled as he looked around. “I added some things to try and make up for taking your cell phone. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t here to kill Mr. Rex, Ms. Mason,” he added in a rush, and I held back a laugh.
“It’s okay. I get it, I guess. Thanks so much, Valentine. The office looks awesome. And you don’t have to call me ‘Ms.’ Mason, you know. I’m good with being on a first name basis.”
He smiled and shrugged. “Mr. Jones gets pissy if I’m not respectful to my elders.”
“Kinky,” I said dryly, and Valentine giggled.
“Nah, Mr. Jones is like my dad. Plus everybody calls him Mr.
Jones. He doesn’t have a first name, so that’s his nickname or whatever. But he likes me calling my elders mister and miss, because he knows that when I look at people and cockroaches, I feel exactly the same about them both.”
I choked. “You don’t seem to hate people that much.”
Valentine shook his head, looking confused. “I don’t hate people at all. Or cockroaches. They’re both fine. Oh, I’m supposed to tell you, Mr. Conner is here to show you around the office while I reset your computer.” He paused, making a face. “I always clean well, but let’s say there was a special reason to take particular care with this office, and you probably want the computer’s hard drive totally wiped before you login. The last assistant spent his free time surfing sites most definitely against company policy. They don’t bother me, but Mr. Rex nearly puked when he came across them.”
I grimaced, not even wanting to imagine what would gross out someone like Rex that badly.
“I think it was something about inappropriate age variances and Santa Claus not being meant for porn?”
“Oh,” I said, voice coming out a little higher than it should have. “Got it. Thanks, Valentine. You’re a good kid.” Crazy, but good. “Do your thing. And I don’t suppose you could wipe down the keyboard when you’re done?”
Val giggled again and winked at me. “No worries, Ms. Mason, I’ll handle it.” He nodded toward the office door. “Mr. Rex is in the break room talking to Mr. Conner. They will show you around.”
Apparently Conner was the mysterious pretty man that Rex might or might not be flirting with. I wasn’t quite sure why that idea bothered me so much, and I quickly pushed it away.
I climbed down the short flight of steps and walked across the bullpen to the break room, where Rex was now laughing with Conner, his bulky arm wrapped tightly around the slimmer man’s shoulders. I scowled as I stepped into the room, eyebrows shooting up when I noticed Mrs. Cho on top of the refrigerator, pushing up the ceiling slats and sticking her head in as if searching for something.
“What’s going on, boss?” I asked, and Rex pulled away from Conner, wiping tears of laughter away.
“One of Mrs. Cho’s tampons have gone missing,” he explained, words cracking as he obviously tried not to burst back into laughter. “It was here when she left yesterday, and when she counted them this morning, it was gone.”
“She thinks I took it,” Conner said in a dry voice, shaking his head. Damn, when I’d said he was a pretty man? That was an understatement. He could stand next to Beyonce and hold his own.
I didn’t like him. I didn’t like him one bit.
“What would you need a tampon for?” I asked slowly, then my eyes widened as a thought occurred to me. He was a really pretty man. Emphasis on the ‘pretty’… “Oh, God, was that a totally politically incorrect thing to ask?”
Conner snorted. “It’s fine, and, no, I do not have a secret vagina. I’m not sure what I would need a tampon for, but Mrs. Cho’s sure that I took it.”
“You did take,” Mrs. Cho snapped at Conner, flashing her teeth at him as she hopped off the refrigerator gracefully. “Don’t act like you no take! Found your fingerprints on box. I will prove, and then you pay, whore! When divide total box by unit, then eighty-nine cent per tampon. You pay!” She wagged her finger in his face and turned on her heel, stomping out of the break room.
I stared after her in disbelief, mouth hanging open. How did this woman still work here?
“Did you take it?” Rex asked, raising an eyebrow at Conner. The man didn’t answer, just flashed a grin and ruffled short his blonde curls.
Rex sighed. “This isn’t exactly how I wanted your first day at King Corp to begin, Mason, but I guess that’s life. This is Conner Griffin, one of my best friends.”
“Don’t you mean boyfriend?” I said, then wished immediately I could take it back. Laughing together in a break room was not a legit reason to accuse two ‘friends’ of being gay lovers.
Rex choked, looking horrified, while Conner sputtered with laughter, looking quite amused by the idea.
“See what happens when you stick dildos in my office plants?” Rex snapped, leaving me the one choking. “People start thinking it’s some kind of code!”
“It’s supposed to be a reference to what a big stick you have up your ass,” Conner replied calmly.
“I am not gay,” Rex said, turning to me. “And I am absolutely, positively not gay with Conner, of all people. He’s like a brother.” He made a face, and Conner nodded his agreement as a rush of relief might or might not have run through me.
“Rex is right. He is most definitely stuck on the rail-straight line, poor man. Nothing but boobs and vagina, everywhere you look. Except if it’s straight down.”
“Now that we’ve cleared that up,” Rex said with gritted teeth. “I’m going back to my office to collect my dignity. Conner, show the woman around then give Mrs. Cho back her tampon before she murders someone, and I have to call Jones to dump the body.”
“I can dump bodies,” Conner said in a helpful voice, and Rex snorted.
“They always float back up.”
“That was a joke, in case you were getting worried,” Conner said as Rex practically stomped back to his office. “Not the part about Mrs. Cho possibly committing murder—that could happen—but the part about us hiding the bodies. We totally don’t do that.”
“Um, good to know?” I said, really not sure I believed him. This office was… different, and I wasn’t certain I wanted to know what happened to employees who got caught trying to steal things. The last guy had been fired for stealing coffee filters—or so they claimed. Maybe I really should try and look him up? Just to make sure he was still breathing?
“So, welcome to the Brotherhood Building,” Conner said, picking up a mug and filling it with coffee from the pot before handing it to me. I took it with a nervous smile. “I am happy to be your guide. Where shall we begin our tour?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea. Do you work here?”
Conner nodded solemnly. “Indeed. I am the office prostitute.”
I spewed out my coffee. Thankfully it went back into the mug and not all over Conner or on my ninety dollar retro dress.
“Would you like one of my cards?” Conner reached into the pocket of his admittedly very slim fit navy pants and pulled out a business card. I took it, eyes widening at the image of him sprawled out in the male stripper version of a Prince Charming outfit, his chest and legs bare with only a slip of gold fabric covering his hefty man parts. It read ‘Prince Conner Griffen’ and on the other side had a phone number along with the words ‘Enjoy a date night with a real fairy tale prince.”
“Being the prince of a country the size of a twig isn’t good for much, but it makes a great catchline for work in the sex industry,” he said cheerfully. “Feel free to call anytime. I offer an employee discount to Brotherhood Building staff.”
I stared at him, honestly not sure what to say. He was a gigolo? And they let him give his business cards out in the office?
Oh, yeah, and he was a prince, too, apparently, but at this moment I found that easier to process than the prostitute part.
Wait a second? Wasn’t one of the ‘Brotherhood’ members listed on that Shady Lady site a prince, too? That was two ‘Brothers’ checked off the list. Huh. Maybe conspiracies could be real. Though forgers and princes were one thing. Hitmen? I didn’t think so.
“I, um, don’t really do that. And I probably couldn’t afford you, anyway,” I added quickly, not wanting to offend him. Not to mention that after this morning, my lady parts were shouting that they’d rather have Rex, even if my mind didn’t agree.
Conner shrugged. “Keep the card, anyway. My Bros are always hassling me to get a real job, but I make money.”
“So you don’t literally work here?” I asked, and he snorted.
“No, I am the useless Brother who has never paid taxes in his life and lives at Sonny Wentworth’s place ‘cause I keep getting kicke
d out of mine.” He sighed. “And Rex may or may not have paid my dry cleaning bill this week. The closest thing I have to an MBA or a law degree is the ability to tie cherry stems in knots with my tongue.”
“That’s a pretty impressive ability,” I noted, and his sour look disappeared, a mischievous grin lighting up his face.
“So where to begin? Obviously this is the break room. I suggest bringing your own sugar if you use it, because Mrs. Cho checks it daily and does not allow anyone to use more than one fifth of a single-serve packet.”
“Wow,” I said, “that’s, um, very conservative of her.”
“Yeah, and if you need help with anything at all, call Valentine. He’s a total psychopath—I mean that in the literal, been diagnosed sense—but he’s really good at everything from washing your carpet to hacking into your cheating boyfriend’s bank account and making him wish he’d never met you.”
I shook my head. The kid had seemed pretty nice to me, but ‘psycho’ seemed to be the word of the day for him. And I guess it explained the humans-equal-cockroaches thing.
“Sonny is the boss of the building,” Conner continued. “He also rarely leaves the top floor, which is all his.”
“Let me guess?” I said. “He’s the type who sleeps in his office?”
Conner chuckled. “Probably would be if he didn’t have a kid. That's a poorly kept secret, by the way, so please don't tell him I mentioned it to you. But he does file all his own papers because he doesn’t trust people without a PhD from Harvard to stick a letter in a drawer, and he likes to pull his gun when people look at him funny.”
Talk about scary. I felt sorry for his 'secret kid.'
“Here, let me show you around this floor,” Conner said, moving toward the exit. I poured out what was left of my coffee and walked out of the break room with him.
Conner gestured around the bullpen area, with its collection of cubicles and random desks. Out of absolutely nowhere, he dropped his head down close enough that his nose brushed my cheek, and my eyes widened as I felt his lips against my ear.
Heart Thief (Black Market Billionaire Book 1) Page 9