by Sophie Stern
“Oh,” I started laughing, “that’s Snowball.”
“Snowball?”
“Yeah, he’s my cat.”
“You have a cat?”
“I do. Would you like to meet him?”
Cole nodded, and I gestured for him to follow me over to the kitchen table. Snowball liked to hop up there and sleep because there was a window close by that allowed plenty of sunlight into the room. He always found the best spot that was directly in the sunlight, and then settled there.
“Hey, fluffball,” I said, reaching for my cat. I pet him softly on the head, and then I ran my hand down his back. He started purring immediately, but didn’t move.
“Is he okay? Is he hurt?” Cole was worried. “What’s that sound?”
“He’s purring. Have you ever heard a cat purr?”
“Yes, but not like that,” Cole said seriously.
“He’s a pretty loud cat,” I admitted. When I’d first brought Snowball home, I’d been caught off-guard by just how loud he could be.
“Can I touch him, too?”
“Of course.”
Cole took another step closer, and then another. Soon he was standing beside the table, and he reached for Snowball and started petting him. Instantly, Snowball’s purring became even louder, and Ruby and I both started laughing.
“Good news, Cole,” she said, “I think he likes you.”
“He does?” Cole looked up at me, and I nodded.
“I think he does, little guy. I think he does.”
8
Ruby
“YOU’RE IN LOVE.”
Jake, ever the voice of reason, laughed at me when I called him that night. He always seemed to know what I was thinking or feeling before I even had a chance to say it. Best friends were annoying like that.
“No, I’m not in love,” I hissed into the phone. There was no way I was going to admit it. Not tonight. Not to Jake.
“You’re so in love,” he said in a sing-song voice. Only Jake could get away with saying that. Nobody else in the damn world could say anything like that to me and live to tell the tale.
“Shut. Up.”
“So, are you going to fuck him?”
I bit my lip. Was I? It was honestly a fair question. There were a million reasons to say no and not many to say yes, but I wanted to say yes. I knew what we’d said. I knew we’d said that we would live together as friends, but the reality was that I liked Dale. A lot.
When he’d walked into the bookstore, I’d remembered exactly how incredible I’d felt that night all those years ago. I knew exactly what it was that I’d been thinking and feeling on the night my kid was conceived. I knew.
And if I was being honest, I wanted to feel those things again.
“Yeah,” I said. “I think so. If he wants to.”
“Trust me. He wants to.”
“How do you know?”
“That guy was crazy about you,” Jake said. “I remember the night you two hooked up. It was insane.”
“How could you remember that? You and Matt were...”
Shit.
I didn’t want to remind Jake of Matt. He was happily married to Greg now, and the two of them made a wonderful couple. Their relationship really was pretty incredible. They’d met at a support group after Matt passed away, and they’d really hit it off. I knew that Jake was great when it came to talking about his feelings, but I wasn’t always sure how much I was supposed to – or allowed to – push.
“We were crazy, too,” he said. I could almost hear the smile in his voice.
“Well, I just don’t know if sleeping with Dale is a good idea.”
“Of course, it is. He’s your mate.”
Wait.
What?
“My mate?”
“Yeah,” Jake’s voice sounded weird for a second. It almost sounded like he was having a hard time breathing. I knew for a fact that he and Greg weren’t doing anything. So, what the hell was going on?
Then it hit me.
“Are you jogging?”
“Yeah,” he said. So, he was out of breath.
“Weird...”
Jake jogging?
“It’s not weird. It’s healthy.”
Jake had never been healthy in his life, and we both knew it. If he needed this win, though, I’d let him have it. When we’d lived together, our kitchen had been filled with Doritos and Cheez-Its. He also liked those little frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches you would thaw out in the fridge and then eat.
I felt like in some ways, living with Jake had been like living with a giant toddler.
That wasn’t important, though. He’d said something I wanted to know more about, and if I could keep him from getting distracted, then maybe he would explain what he’d meant.
“So, what did you mean by mates?”
“Well, you know how Cole and Dale are both shifters?”
I’d filled Jake in on everything. He hadn’t been super surprised, come to think of it. He’d been supportive, though.
“Yes?”
“Well, I may have suspected that before.”
“Why did you suspect that?”
“Because Matt was a shifter, and I was his mate.”
“Jake?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you stop running and tell me what a mate is?”
I had no idea what he was talking about, and it was honestly making me a little uncomfortable. Mates? Was that like, the shifter version of your one, true love?
I had always felt an intense connection to Dale. When we’d met, that night had been filled with fire and passion and incredible lust and teasing and wonder.
I’d always just thought it was because of the danger associated with what we were doing. We were two strangers, coming together to fuck in a crazy and incredible way. Had there been more to it?
“Sorry,” Jake said. “Greg and I are running a 5K next weekend.”
“Do you...run?”
“I do now,” he said.
“I’ve always kind of thought of you as a couch potato,” I admitted. Jake was thin and fit, but he loved gaming and watching movies. He’d never really been super outdoorsy.
“For life,” he agreed, “but Greg wants to try something new.”
“And he wants to run a 5K...in Alaska...in the winter?”
“Don’t get me started,” Jake said. “It’s an indoor event, though.”
“I thought you were running outside. I heard the wind.”
“Nope, that was just me being wildly out of shape and breathing heavily in the least sexy way known to man.”
“Anyway...”
“Anyway,” Jake got back on track with what we’d been talking about, “a mate is like finding your one true love. Usually, two shifters find each other and they just feel this instant connection.”
“And that’s what you and Matt had?”
“That’s what we had, at least, according to him.”
“And you believed it?”
“Yep. You know that scar I got on my wrist?”
It was a strange-looking thing. Jake wore a bracelet over it or long sleeves most of the time. He’d gone away for a couple of weeks and come back with it.
“You told me you got bitten while you were on a camping trip.”
“That was a lie,” he admitted. “I was on a trip with Matt, and he gave me his mating mark. It meant we were supposed to be together for life.”
Wow.
That was...a shock.
“But you broke up a few times.”
“Well, life is messy, Ruby. You know that.”
Yeah.
I did know that.
A lot of people had this weird idea that life was supposed to be pristine and sweet and wonderful, and in some ways, it was. In some ways, life was totally, wildly, incredible.
In other ways, it was hard as hell.
“I know,” I whispered.
“Anyway, after his death, I went to a support group for widowers who
had been mated to shifters.”
“That was the support group?”
“Yeah.”
“So, Greg is...”
“A polar bear shifter, yeah.”
“What the fuck, Jake? You didn’t tell me!”
“Hey, neither one of them was ready to tell people. I had to support that.”
“Does Greg know you’re telling me now?”
“Yes.”
“You told him about Cole.”
“He was actually the one who suspected Cole was a shifter. Matt never said anything to me because I never told Matt about the baby.”
Matt had been in the closet about being gay and about being a shifter. His adopted parents had never known the truth about him, and that was the way he’d wanted it. Jake and Matt had dated on the downlow after the night with Dale, but Matt and I never spent time together. He didn’t know about the baby, and he didn’t come to the apartment I shared with Jake.
“I’m sorry you had to keep that from him,” I whispered.
“It wasn’t my secret to tell, Ruby. You know that didn’t bother me. Besides, Matt and I never talked about you or his roommate. He didn’t want anyone to know about us.”
The two of them had gone on trips together or met up for dates, but it was rare that Jake would actually go to the apartment Matt lived in with Dale. If he did, it was when Dale was at work or out with friends.
“I don’t think he was ashamed of you, Jake.”
“No, he wasn’t. He was just scared.”
Jake had spent a lot of time and money on therapy in the past few years, and he’d come to deal with a lot of his big feelings. He was one of the most incredible people I’d ever met. I was proud of him and everything he’d done.
“Thanks for telling me all of that.”
“I hope it helps give you some perspective. If you and Dale are mates, then the feelings you have are normal.”
“Are they?”
“Do you have a lot of big emotions, hon?”
“That’s putting it likely.”
“When I met Matt, and later Greg, it was like...well, it was like being in middle school all over again. It was like having a crush on someone for the very first time and not knowing what to do.”
“That’s exactly how I feel.”
“It can be exciting,” he said, “and wonderful.”
“And terrifying?”
“Absolutely.”
“Listen, so...about the mark?”
“Not every shifter couple gives each other a mark. Greg didn’t mark me. He didn’t really want to, and honestly, I didn’t want him to bite over Matt’s mark. Matt will always have a special place in my heart. Always.”
“That’s really nice, Jake.”
“If Dale wants to mate you, or mark you, then you have to decide whether that’s something you’re ready for.”
Was I ready for something like that? It definitely sounded like a big commitment. It sounded like it was even more serious than marriage, if I was being honest. The feelings I had for Dale were big and they were wild.
Was I his mate?
I still had questions. Luckily, Jake seemed more than willing to humor me and answer them for me, which was great because I was more than willing to ask.
“Does every shifter only have one true mate?”
“Some people think so,” Jake told me.
“What do you think?”
“I think I’m one lucky bastard who has fallen in love with two very different, very wonderful shifters. I think fate smiles on us and sometimes, when we least expect it, something wonderful can happen.”
I liked that.
The way Jake explained things to me was, honestly, pretty damn wonderful. It made a lot of sense, too. I hadn’t really expected to find Dale and fall for him, yet there I was: falling for him. He was wild and incredible and sexy as hell, and I wanted all of him.
I wanted his body.
I wanted his love.
I wanted him to adore me.
“Is he asleep now?” Jake asked, bringing me back to reality and back to the conversation.
“Yeah. Cole’s got his own bedroom, which he loves, and he’s passed out. The master bedroom, where Dale sleeps, is across the hall.”
“And you?”
“There’s another guest room,” I said carefully. It was a gorgeous cabin with a beautiful setup. There really was plenty of space for us, and Dale hadn’t pushed me to stay in the same room as him or anything like that. He’d been very matter-of-fact when he’d shown me to my room.
“But you’re hiding out on the couch, aren’t you?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I am.”
“Stop hiding,” he told me.
“And what? Sneak into his room and blow him? We agreed that we’d be just friends.”
“And do you want to be just friends?”
No.
No, I didn’t.
I’d realized a lot since coming to stay at Dale’s place. I’d realized that I did want him. I wanted to be with him and get to know him better. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to raise our kid together. I wanted to love him and adore him and be with him.
Perhaps more than anything else, I wanted to worship Dale’s body like it was the most incredible thing in the world because it kind of, totally was.
“Don’t pussy out,” Jake told me.
“Hey!”
“I’m just saying.”
“That’s not cool.”
Jake laughed. I could practically see him shaking his head.
“I have to go,” he told me.
“Dinnertime?”
“Shower time, and then dinner time, and then massage from my big polar bear husband time,” he told me.
“I love you,” I said to Jake.
“Love you more.”
We ended the call, and I set the phone down on the coffee table. I was glad that Jake and I kept in touch despite his big move. He was happy now, and I was happy for him. He deserved to have someone who loved him and cared about him.
With a sigh, I leaned back and closed my eyes. What the hell was I supposed to do now?
I liked him.
I liked him so damn much and I wasn’t supposed to.
When I wrote Dale that letter, it wasn’t because I was expecting to pick up where we left off. In fact, I expected the literal opposite. I expected that we would not pick up, nor would there be anything remaining from where we left off.
I thought he’d call me, give me brief instructions on how to deal with a shifter kid, and that would be it.
Apparently, that wasn’t it.
Apparently, we had a lot of unfinished business between us, and most of that was sexual in nature. I couldn’t pretend that I hadn’t felt the electricity between us when we’d held hands. When we’d kissed, it was like my entire heart was full. Just being around Dale was so wildly calming that I loved it.
“Trouble sleeping?”
I looked over my shoulder and saw Dale. He was leaning in the doorway to the living room. How long had I been staring off into space thinking about him? Probably too long. I hadn’t even heard him come down the stairs. I hadn’t heard him come to the living room.
“A little,” I told him honestly.
Then again, it was kind of his fault I couldn’t sleep. I’d been too anxious thinking about him and those secret touches we’d shared.
“You know what I like to do when I can’t sleep?”
“What?”
“This.”
He was across the room in two long strides, and he reached for me. He tugged me up, pulling me off the couch, and then he kissed me hard and fast.
I melted.
My entire body felt like fucking goo. I was instantly wet and craving him. How had he known that was what I wanted? Why was he kissing me now? Here?
“Dale,” I whispered. “We said we’d just be friends.”
“Fuck that. That was a stupid idea.”
“Are you sure?”
&
nbsp; “Are you?”
“Yeah,” I whispered, nodding. I didn’t mean I was sure I wanted to be friends. I meant I was sure that I definitely, totally, did not want to be friends with Dale.
I wanted everything else, but no, I didn’t want to be friends.
“Then take off your fucking shirt,” he growled, biting my lip. “I want to see those gorgeous tits.”
9
Dale
SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL AND sweet as she tugged at the hem of her shirt, bringing it up and over her head. Ruby tossed it aside, and I barely noticed as the shirt landed on the floor.
“Wow,” I murmured, reaching for her. I needed to have my hands on her.
She was just as lovely as she’d been all of those years ago. To some, five years might not feel like a long time, but to me, it had been a lifetime. She still looked gorgeous and lovely standing there, and all I could think about was what I wanted her forever.
I wanted this forever.
“I hope that’s a good wow.”
“The best.”
She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around my neck again, and she kissed me. The soft fabric of her bra brushed against my shirt, and I realized there was far too much fabric between us. I didn’t want anything else holding us apart.
I reached for my own shirt and tugged up, pulling it over my head. I threw it to the ground, and it landed beside her own shirt.
“Wow,” she whispered, looking at me. “Are these new?”
She was running her hands up and down my abs.
“No,” I laughed.
“They seem new.”
“I guess it was just darker last time. You didn’t get a good look.”
“You spend a lot of time at the gym.”
“Do you really want to talk about my gym habits? Or do you want to rub your tongue over my abs?” I asked her, stroking her cheek.
“The second one.”
Ruby’s answer was swift and sure, and my cock hardened at the thought of her licking my skin. I wanted her to do that. I wanted her to taste me, to touch me.
She lowered herself, kneeling in front of me, and she swiped her tongue over my lower abs. Oh, it felt incredible. She was hot as hell. When I looked down at her, my cock hardened even more as I watched the way she was touching me.