“Feet?”
“Yeah.”
“He did. Two feet, just like normal. He wasn’t floating or anything, either.”
“Ghosts also differ in whether or not they can exert a physical influence. Since they’re noncorporeal beings, they can’t be touched by anything, and they can slip right through doors and walls and go wherever they want. And then they contrast this ghostly image by opening and closing doors or moving chairs and tables at haunted houses. Those are some other tricks ghosts can pull…The stories are supercontradictory, so even though we call all of them ghosts, they all have some particular specialty, I guess you could say. As far as the ghost you met…”
“Is appearing once in a while kind of weird?”
“Oh yeah. Now that you mention it, the fact that he’s aware of it himself seems kind of weird. The ghost you met can exert a certain amount of physical influence, right?”
“Opening and closing doors or pulling diaries out of drawers is about it…but yeah.”
“But he couldn’t answer the phone.”
“And he couldn’t use the computer in his library.”
“But he could go into a locked room.”
“…That’s what he said.”
“In any case, what did this guy die of? All this stuff about alcohol and medicine and rope hanging from the ceiling…The stuff he mentioned seems to be hinting at suicide.”
“He said the immediate cause was falling from the second-floor corridor and breaking his neck or something like that.”
“And that observation, to notice your left eye—it’s, I don’t know, pretty insightful of him.”
“That’s true. Insightful and thought provoking.”
“When he said your doll’s eye was seeing the same things as him and looking in the same direction as him, he had figured out that was death, right? In other words, he had been constantly looking at death. He had been entranced by it. Do you think we can interpret it that way? So he…”
“He ended his own life?”
“Or at least he was thinking about it. And then he actually did die.”
“…”
“And then there’s the question of why his death was covered up. By his older sister Tsukiho and her husband Mr. Hiratsuka.”
“…”
“They might have hidden his body somewhere. I wonder if that’s what it is. Anyway, Mr. Sakaki’s ghost was looking for it, right? Even he doesn’t know where it is.”
“Yeah. It sounds like he was upset about it for a long time, in his own way.”
“That’s a weird touch, too. Or at least unusual. Typically, a ghost would know where its body is, and a really common trope is for them to appear so that they can tell someone, ‘It’s over here, please come find it’…Although that’s in fictional stories. Like in that old horror movie classic, Changeling.”
“Never heard of it.”
“Urk— Oh.”
“Still, a bunch of things happened that day that bothered even me.”
“Like what?”
“When I went to visit Mr. Sakaki at his Lakeshore Manor, the front door was closed and no one came when I rang the bell…But when I went around to the back entrance, it was open and I could just walk right in.”
“That was pretty bold of you.”
“I was thinking someone would be there…”
“But when you went up to the library on the second floor, you ran across a ghost, huh?”
“Something like that.”
“You saw him as soon as you walked into the room and took your eye patch off, right?”
“—Right.”
“So all of a sudden, this thing you hadn’t seen just popped up?”
“…Pretty much.”
“Did it surprise you?”
“—Yeah.”
“I guess that would startle anyone.”
“There were a lot of factors.”
“Let’s see…There are a ton of mysteries, just from what you’ve told me so far. Mysteries about Mr. Sakaki’s death, and what happened to his body of course, and other troubling details…”
“…”
“…”
“…”
“…Well?”
“Hm?”
“Tell the rest of the story.”
“—You want to hear it?”
“How can I not hear the rest? Hmmmm…I wonder what it was like at the time. The story was that Mr. Sakaki had gone on a trip? Were Tsukiho and her husband really hiding the truth?”
“—As it turns out, yes.”
“So then…”
“But I’m going to tell the story in order.”
“Oh…sure.”
“So with everything the way it was…I decided to do something about it.”
“Meaning what?”
“I thought, I need to see if this is true. The ghost was appearing at places he had a connection to in life, not just at Lakeshore Manor, so I thought there was a chance. And I wasn’t really thrilled about it, but I asked Kirika and two days later…”
Sketch 5
…Even though people die, they don’t become nothingness. That’s what I think.
Like their soul still exists even after they die?
Their soul…I suppose so. Though I don’t know if that’s the right word for it.
So they go to heaven or hell?
I don’t know about that, either, but…
…What about ghosts?
Hm?
Do ghosts exist? If a soul stays in the world of the living, does it become a ghost?
There’s no such thing as ghosts. It’s the job of a proper adult to say that…But hmm. I suppose they might.
Hmmm.
Maybe I just want them to exist. Anyway, even if they do exist, I doubt that every single person becomes a ghost…
1
On that night of May 3, as I lay on the verge of death, the movement of my lips…
What I had seen reflected in the mirror in that moment often rose vividly to mind and nothing could quiet my anxiety.
What had I been trying to say?
What had I said?
My face spattered in blood. The contorted, taut expression slackening suddenly…and then—
At first, my mouth opened slightly, as if in a gasp of surprise. But—I think—it was just open; I wasn’t able to say anything.
Then, my lips moved ever so slightly.
The movement was slight and trembling, but this time words came out…I’m sure of it. The sound of the words, my voice, was barely audible…
No matter how hard I try to remember, even now I continue to feel tantalized impatience, the words just on the verge of hearing, just on the verge of seeing, just on the verge of reaching me…Now, finally, it’s…
…The first word I’d spoken.
I feel like it was “tsu.”
And the second was “ki.”
And then my lips moved again. There was no sound to accompany it, but the round shape of my lips—like the vowel o…
…Meaning?
The last sounds I spoke that night were “tsu” and “ki.”
“Tsu” and “ki”—that could be tsuki, the word for moon. And it’s true that there was a half-moon in the sky that night. But that didn’t seem to be related at all. So then what did it mean?
“Tsu” and “ki” may not have been the entire word I’d been trying to say.
It was only a part of it, not the entire thing. There had actually been more, but I hadn’t spoken it. That thought led me to…
The round shape of my open mouth—forming the vowel o. So I could have been saying “o,” “ko,” “so,” “to,” “no,” “ho,” “mo,” “yo,” or “ro”…But…
What if I had been saying “ho”?
“Tsu” and “ki” and “ho”—“Tsukiho.”
Tsukiho—the name of my sister.
That night, I might have been trying to convey the name Tsukiho. But why would I do that, lying on the verge of death
…?
…
…
…With a faint, almost uneasy smile on her face, Tsukiho had said, “You’re right, he did. It seems my brother has been off on a solo trip since the spring.”
“Where did he go?”
The person asking had been Kirika. She was Mei Misaki’s mother, as well as the craftswoman who had made my doll of the young girl in the black dress. She was a few years older than Tsukiho, a woman with majestic features.
“I’m not sure…”
Tsukiho had cocked her head to one side, never losing her smile.
“He’s been like that for a long time. He’ll just take off without telling a soul where he’s going. And he’ll be gone for long stretches at a time…I suppose you could call it wanderlust.”
“He sounds as if he enjoys his freedom.”
“There have been so many times when I thought he had come back for a while, and he’d be off again to some foreign country or other. So you might say that we’re used to this sort of thing from him.”
No, that’s not what happened—that’s not true.
I wanted to stamp my foot, listening to them talk.
That’s not what happened this time.
I died and turned into a ghost, and I’m here…
…It was at the Misakis’ vacation home.
In their spacious living room where bright sunlight streamed through lace curtains. The house was built beside the sea, the windows thrown open to let the breeze in, so the sound of the waves outside was constant. There were also the sounds of seagulls or some other seabirds calling.
At Kirika’s invitation, Tsukiho had come over with her two children for afternoon tea. I had appeared right in the middle of it. As if stepping down into the scene.
There were six people seated around a large table, on which glasses for drinks and snack plates were arranged.
They included Kirika’s invited guests Tsukiho, Sou, and Mirei. From the Misaki family, Kirika and Mei. Mr. Misaki—Mei’s father—was also there. Apparently he was in the same age range as Tsukiho’s husband, Shuji Hiratsuka, but he seemed much younger than Shuji and had a sort of athletic cheerfulness about him.
“We really do appreciate the invitation, but unfortunately my husband had a prior engagement…I do apologize.”
Mr. Misaki waved off Tsukiho’s explanation. “We’re here on vacation, but I’m sure your husband is very busy. I heard that he’s in the prefectural assembly now?”
“Yes, that’s right. People were just so insistent, and I suppose he’d made up his mind to do it, too.”
“He’s a man of so many talents, it’s only natural people would turn to him. The election was at the beginning of autumn, was it?”
“Yes. Somehow he pulled through.”
“It must be very difficult for you, as his wife,” Kirika said.
“Oh no, there isn’t really anything for me to help with…”
“Actually, we invited you over today at Mei’s request.”
“Really! Mei wanted me to come over?”
“She suggested it out of the blue, that she wanted to see everyone. And asked us to be sure to include Teruya, too…Isn’t that right, Mei?”
With attention now turned on her, Mei Misaki replied with due politeness.
“Yes, it is. Kirika told me so many interesting stories about Lakeshore Manor last year…”
“Oh-ho. Is that what it was?”
This from Mr. Misaki. He smiled, stroking his sparse mustache.
“Yes,” Mei answered, again with all due politeness.
“Now that you mention it, you visited the mansion last year, didn’t you, Mei?” Tsukiho asked. “I happened to be over at the same time. Along with Sou and Mirei…”
Tsukiho’s eyes crinkled suddenly. It looked to me as if she were holding back tears, but the members of the Misaki family seemed not to notice and she quickly pulled herself together.
“I’m very sorry that Teruya couldn’t come.”
“When do you think Mr. Sakaki will be back?” Mei asked, and Tsukiho once again set her head to one side with a faint smile.
“Who can say? He really is so fickle and unconstrained.”
“Um…have you tried reaching him by cell phone or anything?”
“Teruya doesn’t have a cell phone. There still isn’t much signal out at that house.”
“This area seems to be out of cell phone range, according to the telecom companies.”
This from Kirika.
“Oh. I see,” Mei replied, nodding. Her gaze, which had alternated between Tsukiho and Kirika, now slid off to one side and stopped on a certain spot.
A space behind where Mirei and Sou sat beside each other in chairs. Straight at the spot where I had appeared this time.
She wasn’t wearing her eye patch. I sensed a strange light in the blue iris of her left eye for a moment. So that’s what it was. She could see me again today.
2
“But, Mei, what happened? Why are you wearing that bandage?” Tsukiho asked.
I suspected that she wanted to change the subject, but it was true that Mei had a bandage around her right elbow.
“Oh, I was on my bicycle yesterday and just…,” Mei answered. “It’s not that bad.”
“She was practicing,” Kirika supplied, amending Mei’s response.
“Oh, Mei. Do you not know how to ride a bike?”
“I was thinking it must be embarrassing at this age and offered to get her private lessons, but, well,” Mr. Misaki amended further. “Oh, but you know, there’s no sense forcing the issue, eh? Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Right, Mei?”
Looking toward his daughter, Mr. Misaki laughed loudly. Mei was silent, her face a blank—but she didn’t particularly look like she was sulking, either.
“Meiii! Meiii!”
Standing up from her seat, Mirei walked over to Mei.
“Meiii, you wanna play dolls with me?”
“Hm?”
Mei cocked her head quizzically, so Mirei pointed toward the display shelf standing in the room.
“That. Dolls.”
“Now now, Mirei,” Tsukiho said, reining her daughter in. “Those dolls aren’t for playing with. Understand?”
Several dolls, presumably made by Kirika, decorated the shelf. The dolls were of little girls and were small, but each had a delicate beauty about it.
Mirei whined unhappily, and Sou gave her a contemptuous look as he moved over to the sofa by himself. Tsukiho’s gaze followed him.
“Sou seems a bit down, don’t you think?” Kirika observed.
“Yes…There’s been a lot going on, and he’s at a difficult age,” Tsukiho replied, sounding a little awkward and looking anxiously in Sou’s direction. “I got the feeling he didn’t want to come along today. But when I said we were having tea at the Misakis’ house, he said, ‘I’m coming, too!’”
“Maybe it’s because Sou is so close to Teruya, so he misses him?” Kirika suggested. Then she twisted around in her chair and called out, “Sou?
“Would you like some more sweets? Maybe some juice?”
Sou shook his head without a word. The next moment, he stood up from his newly taken seat on the sofa and walked toward the display shelf Mirei had been pointing at. He stood in front of it and peered through the glass at the dolls inside.
“Do you like this kind of doll, too, Sou?” Mei Misaki asked, coming to stand beside Sou.
Sou’s shoulders jumped, as if he’d been caught off guard for a moment, then he gave a swift nod. “Um, yeah.”
“Mr. Sakaki liked dolls, too, right?”
“—Yeah.”
“Is that why you like them?”
“—I dunno.”
“Which of these dolls do you like?”
“Oh, uh…”
“Meiii! Meiii!”
Mirei came over to her again.
“Mei, let’s play. I wanna play with dolls.”
“Now now, Mirei,” Tsukiho repeat
ed to get her under control. “It isn’t nice to pester people.”
During this exchange, Sou returned to the sofa by himself. He lowered his gaze, which held a hint of loneliness, and a quiet sigh escaped him…Then finally—
“I don’t know,” he whispered faintly. “I don’t know…anything.”
“Sou?”
Calling her son’s name, a hint of alarm in her voice, Tsukiho rose from her chair.
“You know better than to start talking that way again…”
“Oh…yes, ma’am.”
“Wow, the weather is so nice.”
Now it was Mei who spoke. She turned to the windows where the lace curtains rippled in the wind, and favoring her bandaged right elbow, she stretched her entire body stiffly.
“I’m going to step outside.”
3
The “outside” Mei referred to was the terrace just outside the room—
I felt somehow as if I’d been invited to join her, and though I hesitated somewhat, in the end I followed after her.
From the terrace, Mei had stepped down onto the grass of the yard and was gazing out at the sea. I gradually approached behind her and—
“Mr. Sakaki?” she asked, turning smoothly to look back over her shoulder. The blue iris of her left eye was aimed straight at me.
“Yes. His ghost anyway.”
“Is this the first time you’ve appeared since two days ago at Lakeshore Manor?”
“—I suppose so.”
“I see.”
Mei twisted her body back around and returned her gaze to the sea.
The house was beside the sea, but that doesn’t mean there were waves right in front of us. We were located a few minutes’ walk from the shore, a short distance away on a slight rise, giving an excellent view.
After a long while, Mei spoke.
“I saw a mirage from here once.”
“Wow. When?”
“August last year. The day before we went back to Yomiyama.”
“A midsummer’s vision, eh?”
“It wasn’t anything as amazing as that. There was a ship going along offshore, and it looked like the same ship was floating above it, but upside down.”
“That’s really unusual to see in the summertime.”
“The air close to the water is cooler and the air higher up is warmer, so light is refracted by the temperature difference and looks like a false image…”
Another Episode S / 0 Page 8