by Roz James
Wife Swap
by
Roz James
This book is a work of fiction, all names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination, any resemblance to real people, alive or dead, or events is coincidental.
All rights are reserved, this book or its parts should not be reproduced in any format without permission from the author. © Roz James, February 2020. Please respect the author’s rights.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER ONE
Kara watched as Vivien put on her ruby red lipstick, the finishing touches to her makeup for the evening. At 35 her wife was still a beautiful woman. Although dressed simply, her black jeans hugged her curvy ass, and her pale blue cashmere V-necked jumper accentuated what Kara considered to be some of her best assets.
Vivien rose from the dressing table and walked towards her, lightly kissing her mouth. “Are you sure you don’t want to come babe? It’s not too late to change your mind you know; Louise is looking forward to meeting you. I’ve known her for about six weeks now, it’s difficult to keep making excuses. She probably thinks I’m making you up.”
“Viv, you know how it is when I get to the editing stage, and how little I enjoy this part. I just need to focus, put my head down and get on with it. That means putting the hours in, you know that.”
Kara looked away, avoiding her wife’s expression and evident irritation, which spoke a thousand words about the widening gap between them... emotional and physical. “I’m tired too, you know the hours I’ve already worked this week, I’d just cramp your style. I’d be asleep after one drink.”
Viv looked at her, there was no point starting an argument, not now. “Okay grumpy, I won’t be too late. Try not to work too long though, I know how driven you are and I don’t want you to get ill.”
“I won’t, I promise. Viv, just enjoy yourself okay, I want you to make friends here, you know that.”
“Well I’m trying, but what about you Kara? At least I’m with people at work, closeting yourself away in your office won’t help you to meet people. You don’t know anyone here.”
“That’s not true!”
“Yes it is, you can’t count the neighbours we meet in passing, that we’ve said we’d invite in for a drink at least three times now, or the guy at the corner shop that you say one sentence to. We need to make friends here, people that we can spend time with. That takes effort. I even visited that tennis club you claimed to be interested in joining, and got you the details, and I know you haven’t done anything about it. Your lifestyle is too sedentary, you know how I worry.” Viv’s exasperation was evident in her tone.
“I will Viv, once I’ve published this book I’ll concentrate on that, and meeting people, I promise. Louise sounds great, and I will meet her too, soon.”
Vivien’s smiled. “Yes, she is, she reminds me a bit of you actually.”
“What grumpy?”
Vivien smiled, thinking of her employee and new friend, Lou had a happy disposition, she couldn’t be farther from grumpy. “No, she’s not grumpy, but then I am her boss so even if I’m pissing her off I’m sure she’d not want to show me.”
“That will be the case at work babe, but the fact she wants to see you socially too suggests she likes you.”
Vivien shrugged. “Maybe she just feels she should because I’m new around here.”
“Now you’re just being silly. That might apply the first time, but you’ve been out a few times, if it was only duty she’d have more than done hers by now. She likes you, and why shouldn’t she, you’re very likeable.”
“And you’re biased but that sounds like my taxi.” Vivien walked over to the window, pulling back the blind. “It is, I need to go. Don’t work too late, I don’t want you too tired for tomorrow, the dining room wont paint itself, and we need somewhere to feed all those friends you’ve promised we’ll make. I expect some serious manual labour while I sit hungover and direct proceedings. I don’t want a grumpy labourer.” She kissed her lips gently before pulling away. “Don’t wait up.”
Kara smiled, following her to the hall and watching her walk out the door, already feeling guilty that she was glad to have an excuse to be in bed and asleep before Vivien came home. Watching her walk down the path and get into the taxi, she tried to recall how long it had been since they’d last made love. At least four to five months, and that might be optimistic. Kara remembered a time when the mere thought of going without sex for longer than a few days, at least when she was in a relationship, would have brought her out in a cold sweat. Lesbian bed death was something she’d heard regularly amongst friends, but definitely something she had planned to avoid in her own life. She always thought she and Vivien were on the same page about that. Sometimes I feel like I know my wife less as time goes on, rather then better.
The longer they went without, the easier it was to continue, and the harder it was to talk about it and try and bridge the chasm between them. They led busy lives and worked to different timeframes; even more so lately given Viv now worked some shifts. This meant that they’d often had to make more effort to connect just in daily life, never mind intimately. For a few months they’d had an excuse with everything they had going on, but things had been settled for a few weeks. What’s our excuse now?
Earlier that evening Viv had dropped a bombshell. Turned out her friend and colleague Louise was Louise Ross, wife of Natalie Ross. Natalie Ross her best friend, first love, first lover, first girlfriend... first everything. The woman she thought she would be with forever.
The taxi had hardly driven off before Kara almost ran to find her box of keepsakes, now resident under a shoe rack in the cupboard in the spare bedroom. She remembered when they were packing to move here, and how for a brief moment she had considered throwing it away. Despite not having opened it for many years something had stopped her, it was her past after all, which had made her who she was today... and she didn’t want to forget.
Moving to Dundee, Natalie’s hometown, was strange. When Viv mentioned the job, and they first considered it, she wondered what the chance was that she’d come across Natalie; but fifteen years had passed, a lifetime and she’d convinced herself that Natalie could be living anywhere by now. She hadn’t dwelled on the potential detail of her ex’s current circumstances, even now that was too painful.
Lifting the box, she carried it down to the living room, gently placing it on the coffee table. She then went to the kitchen and poured herself a large glass of red wine, Dutch courage. Sitting on the couch, she took a long drink before putting her glass down. Reaching for the box, she slowly opened it, finding herself taking a deep breath as she did so. On the top she found a small teddy bear, from their first Valentine’s day together, and a now broken friendship bracelet. It had matched the one Natalie wore, Natalie had given her it on their first anniversary, they’d put one on each others’ wrists, and there was a time she’d never have taken it off. She’d ripped it off in anger when Nat had chucked her, but within minutes she fou
nd herself retrieving it from the bin, unable to part with it.
Raking through the box’s contents, she bypassed the many postcards of places they’d travelled, and tickets from shows or events they’d attended together. She remembered Natalie gently making fun of her for keeping such things, but at the same time she would often hand her a ticket stub when Kara had forgotten to hold onto something, knowing she would add it to her mementos. Sighing deeply, she lifted the photo album she’d been looking for from the bottom of the box and placed it on her knees.
Kara felt nerves deep in her stomach flare as she opened it and looked at the first photo. There she was, Natalie, forever caught at age 18, the age they met.
C HAPTER TWO
Kara was immediately thrust back in time, to their first meeting. It was at Fresher’s Fayre, day one of her first term at Edinburgh University. Waiting in line to matriculate, Kara noticed a girl standing in a queue on her left, she couldn’t take her eyes off her. Her shoulder length wavy brown hair had red ends, she had porcelain skin and full red lips, and large deep-set hazel eyes surrounded by thick eyelashes, so long she could see them from afar. She later learned that they would darken with arousal.
Her beautiful head sat atop what looked to be an equally stunning body. Dressed in well worn stonewash blue jeans and matching jacket, with a royal blue V-necked tee-shirt, all of which fitted her like a second skin. Just slightly below her own 5 foot 8, the girl was slim but with curved hips and large breasts. Wow!
Kara didn’t think her body had ever reacted quite that way to someone before. She’d had crushes and hoped that away at Uni and away from friends and family in Glasgow she would be able to further explore her sexuality. Maybe it’s all those high school years of pent up frustration, but god she’s hot. Her fears that the vision wouldn’t be gay were quickly put to bed when losing sight of her as she matriculated, she next found her in the main hall filled with the student clubs. She was standing at the LGBT stall. She was talking to two taller and far butcher females who looked equally spellbound, and even from the other side of the room she could spot that they were vying for her attention.
Observing for a few minutes, as she reduced the distance between them, she could see they were coming on strong. The vision was beginning to get uncomfortable. Before she could think about what she planned to do, Kara found herself next to her. She linked her arm in hers, looking into her eyes, trying with all her might and her expression to transmit the message. ‘I’m here to rescue you, go with it.’
“Hey, this is where you’ve got to, sorry I lost you in the crowd, these queues took ages.” The brief look of relief on the girl’s face was instant, albeit quickly hidden, and well worth it. Turning she addressed the two butches who were now staring daggers at her. She stuck out her right hand. “Hi, I’m Kara, pleased to meet you. Thanks for talking to my girl here, I lose her constantly. She’s never in the same place for more than five minutes, I keep joking that I’ll need to fit a tracker, hey hon?”
Fortunately, the vision was quick to catch on, she smiled, pulling Kara closer and squeezing her arm. “So you always say babe. Pat and Mel here were telling me all about the club activities, there’s certainly some we should check out.”
“Great, but right now I’m starving, all that queuing has built up an appetite.” Her voice turned intentionally whiny. “Can we please please get some food, now?”
“Good idea, me too, and believe me you don’t want to see her when she’s hungry. Nice to meet you ladies.” They laughed together as they walked from the stall.
Kara looked through the thick album crammed with photos. From day one they’d been together. The photos chronicled their entire University period and relationship. Terms, holidays, they’d interrailed around France, Spain and Italy between term two and three, working weekend jobs in bars and shops to save up throughout the year. This had given them their plan to travel after graduation.
Natalie was incredibly photogenic, her natural beauty and her happy and confident personality shone through in the images. She looked young and healthy, and happy. Each photo brought back memories of great times they had spent together. Whilst the holiday ones were great, those in the flats they shared, with them going about their daily lives together, were those that hurt most. She quickly turned over a page, away from photos of Natalie in bed. They didn’t show anything revealing, but she knew she had taken them after they had just finished making love, Natalie’s face had a dreamy quality, her skin still flushed from her orgasms, a light sheen of sweat on her forehead.
Reaching the back of the album she was surprised to find there was another packet containing photos. Opening it she found photos she’d dreaded; they were of her graduation. She couldn’t remember putting them there, in fact she couldn’t even recall having them developed, her mum must have done so. They had had professional graduation photos taken, including one of them both, and Natalie with her and her family. When her mum wanted to frame them in her house, she had only been able to cope with the single one of her. It had remained on the stairway wall in her mum’s house, until she died. Kara had intentionally avoided looking at at when she passed it. If it had been up to her it wouldn’t have been framed at all, never mind hung up; but she was the first in her family to get a degree and her parents were incredibly proud, she couldn’t deny them.
They’d both graduated in English and French, their degrees both 2:1s. Each of them wanted to be a teacher. Scanning their faces their youth and hope for the future shone from the pictures but looking at them now Kara couldn’t help but wonder if Natalie had known what was going to happen as they were being taken. Had she known that this would be the last full day she would see me in the flesh?
They’d had dinner together with their families, Kara’s parents and Natalie’s dad and brother, her mum having taken unwell. Afterwards they had returned to the flat they shared with friends. They had made love through the night, slowly and with passion, bringing each other to orgasm after orgasm. Kara believing that when they separated the following day, both returning home, her to Glasgow and Natalie to Dundee, that they’d only be apart for eight days, while they spent time with their families and got ready for their travels. Ready at last to really begin their adult life together.
Tears rained down Kara’s face as she thought back to what followed. What happened next she’d never forget, she’d relived every word a thousand times, awake and in her worst nightmares, trying to make sense of it but failing miserably. Even now, after fifteen years, it still felt like Natalie had ripped her heart out.
“What do you mean you can’t go?”
“I can’t Kara, I’m sorry, it’s family stuff.”
“Well I won’t go either. Let me come to Dundee and help you, then we can travel when things are okay.”
“Kara....”
“Tell me what’s wrong Nat please?”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me. We’ve been together four years, all my adult life. I’m not leaving you to deal with something alone.”
“It’s your dream Kara.”
“No, it’s our dream, to do together, or at least I thought it was.”
“Then do it for Sal, you can’t let her go alone, it’s not safe.”
“I don’t want to just go with Sal, this was never about Sal, she was just tagging along. It was about us, you’re my girlfriend.”
Natalie took a deep breath, she never thought she would hear herself saying the words she was about to say. “About that... I can’t ask you to wait for me, it isn’t fair.”
Kara couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Tears, that had until now just threatened, were now uncontrollable, rolling down her face. She’d been standing in the hallway on the phone, now her legs gave out beneath her and she sat down on the stairs. “Oh god, no Natalie please. Please tell me you’re not breaking up with me?”
Natalie squeezed her eyes tight and took a deep breath to try and steady her voice. “Kara, I want you to go..
.. I need you to go. I love you, but this is your chance to travel, to find out if teaching is what you want to do. I can’t deprive you of that, you’d just come to resent me.” She choked back a sob, well aware that Kara was also crying and breaking down. “Maybe things will improve here quickly, and I could come out and join you. Or if you get back and you still want me....?”
“Still want you. Christ you are breaking up with me. Four years Natalie .... four years. You’ve been everything to me.” She was almost shouting now. “Don’t I deserve more than a lousy phone call?”
Kara was met by silence at the end of the phone. Natalie was glad she couldn’t see her, that she couldn’t see the tears she knew would be rolling down her face, mirroring hers. Yes, I’m weak, I don’t know if I could have... actually I know I couldn’t do this in person; but Neil, her mum and dad needed her here, there was no other option, god I wish there was. Natalie stood in silence, her heart breaking for herself and the pain she knew she was causing Kara, she sounded broken.
“I guess that’s my answer.”
“I’m sorry Kara, I just can’t...”
Kara didn’t wait to hear any more. She never forgot the last words she said to the woman she adored. “Fuck you Natalie! Thanks for the last 4 years. Guess I’ll see you around.” She slammed down the phone. She hadn’t seen or heard from her since, or heard her name mentioned again until today... her parents and friends knew better.
Kara had travelled, teaching English as a foreign language in Europe and Asia. Despite being heartbroken she’d loved it. For the first six months she didn’t let anyone close. Holding out hope that it had all been a bad dream, that Natalie would contact her, or better still appear. She checked her emails whenever she was able to, hoping that Natalie would reach out, would say it had all been a big mistake, that everything was okay now, that she wanted to join her. As time progressed, and she eventually admitted to herself that that was never going to happen, she found herself sleeping around. Chasing the next buzz and avoiding any real intimacy.