by Roz James
For minutes each was torn with giving pleasure as they hastened towards their own and each others’ release. Already incredibly sensitive from her first orgasm Viv started to come, pulling Lou’s head tightly to her and engulfing her with her thighs. Lou followed, shuddering above her as she rode out her climax.
They slumped against each other, until calmed, when Lou moved up the bed and they held each other tightly. She could feel Viv trembling in her arms, and pulled back slightly, brushing dampened hair from her face. “Are you okay?”
Viv smiled up at her. “Okay doesn’t touch that babe, try marvellous.”
“I’m glad, I haven’t forgotten what I promised you though.”
“I’m counting on that, as long as you allow me to return the favour. You’re a fabulous lover Lou, how do you know just how to touch me?”
“Fate babe, maybe we were meant to be here. And of course you can return the favour, how could I deny the woman I love. What about some breakfast first though, we’ll need some energy for later.”
Viv groaned, dreading their meeting but glad that Kara hadn’t been on her mind until just then. “Don’t remind me. Can we shower first.... together?”
“Lou looked at her, fresh arousal apparent on her face. “Ah someone is insatiable, I like that.” She pulled her towards the bathroom, glad that she had insisted that the new shower was more than big enough for two.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Natalie walked towards Kara, it was nearly two and she was prowling around, unable to sit still. “Kara, please sit down, I’m nervous enough and your pacing isn’t helping.”
They had woken that morning wrapped around each other, and without even speaking had started to make love again, Natalie taking charge and moving gently on top of her. Afterwards, nestled in their familiar position, they had spoken about how they could all move forward, and whilst the solution they had come to wasn’t ideal, it was the best they could do. This needed to be gradual if they were to avoid a scandal, Nat just hoped they would agree.
Viv and Lou arrived promptly, and Nat made coffee, having already learned how to work the complex machine. Viv watched, God she’s already at home in my house, with my wife. They sat in the living room, Viv and Lou closely on the couch, holding hands. Viv looked at Kara, she seemed relaxed, happier than she’d seemed for some time. I wonder if I look the same to her, if she can tell I’ve made love to someone else, if it bothers her at all?
Kara perched herself on the arm of the couch next to Natalie, she started to talk. “Okay, Natalie and I have discussed this, and we have a possible solution to move forward, would you like to hear it?”
Viv looked at Lou, who nodded. “Why not, we don’t have any easy answers.”
“Well, it’s far from easy, believe me. Look Nat and I are happy to take the blame for this, we are at fault after all; but if we all want to avoid being the talk of the town then we need to work together on this. I don’t think we should do anything fast. You two need to look like your feelings developed gradually, not that we all got together at the same time.”
Lou looked her in the eye. “And how exactly do you suggest we do that?”
Kara took a deep breath. “We all stay living where we are for now.”
Viv and Lou both exchanged glances, looking surprised, and unhappy.
“Before you speak, hear me out please. We continue to live in our homes with our wives, but we don’t share bedrooms, and we manage being with each other as much as we can. We live between the two houses. Then we decide on a time when Nat and I officially leave you both. Possibly the start of the Summer holidays, when you won’t be on show so much. Afterwards, well, you both work here, shift work, so you need to be close. Natalie works standard hours at the Uni, and I can work from anywhere, so we’ll be the ones to move away. Not far though given Natalie’s family is here.”
Kara hesitated, but given no one spoke, or rushed to object, she continued. “After we leave, you give it some time, then you get together. Maybe your uncle will be more understanding if you’re both seen as the victims in this. Spending time together as the friends you are, comforting each other, then getting together as a couple. What do you think?”
Viv spoke first. “I still live here Kara, with you?”
“Yes, for now anyway.”
“I can’t say I’m too keen on that.”
“Do you hate me that much Viv?”
“No.... I don’t hate you Kara, I hate how you’ve behaved, how you’ve deceived me...us, both of you. I detest how we’ve got here, but hate no.”
Nat turned to Lou. “What do you think?”
“Why are we the victims in this Kara? Why can’t we be the ones leaving?”
Kara observed her, Lou was like a younger version of her, headstrong, confident, opinionated. “If that’s what you want then fine, I’m sure Natalie would agree.”
Natalie looked concerned. “I would.”
“But hear me out Lou, I know you don’t want to look like the women scorned, believe me I understand that, but I’m trying to suggest some damage limitation here. I’m an author of lesbian romance novels, my audience is more likely to celebrate than criticise if I reunite with my first love, assuming it gets out. As for Natalie, she lectures to adults, not young vulnerable girls who look to her as a role model. Plus, it’s not uncommon to reunite with an ex. From what Nat has told me Tom won’t be so understanding, even though he’s your uncle, given he’s got the school’s reputation to consider.”
Lou shrugged, she had to concede that was true, much as it annoyed her. “What about we all just drift apart, that it all happens at the same time?”
Nat spoke up. “Really Lou, who will believe that, it would take time, and there’s every chance we’d be found out in the meantime. It’s going to be hard enough.”
Lou grasped Viv’s hand. “Let me think about it. Vivien I love you, but its probably too soon for us to live together. We need time to explore this, and I need time to get over you. You hurt me Natalie, really hurt me.”
Natalie rose from her seat and knelt in front of Lou, stopping herself from reaching for her hands. “I know, and that’s the last thing I’ve ever wanted to do, please believe me.”
Lou could see the tears in her wife’s eyes, Nat was strong, she didn’t cry easily, her pain was obvious. “You think this is a good idea?”
Natalie swallowed. “Yes I do, and yes you’ll look like the victim, deceived by your wife. There’s nothing I can do about that but try and manage it... in a way that hurts you as little as possible going forward. Plus you’re right, I hope that this, Viv, is it for you, I really do.” She took in them both with her gaze. “But you need to give it time. You are both great at what you do too, the girls love you and you both love it. It’s your dream job Vivien, and you’ve grown to love it Lou, despite your original reason for staying. It’s in both your interests to avoid a wife swapping scandal.”
Viv looked at Lou, grasping her hand tighter as Natalie returned to her couch. “It’ll give us time to speak to Tom too, get him used to the idea gradually and how to manage it. After all I’m also your boss, an added complication, something else he probably wont like.” She looked at Kara and Nat. “How will we manage seeing each other?”
Kara smiled. “Well we will probably have to spend time together as a foursome publicly, look like really good friends. So that if we’re seen as staying at each others’ houses it’s no big deal.”
Lou groaned. “Christ I know lesbians end up being friends with their ex’s, but this is crazy.”
Nat smiled. “But it will help when we leave, it will make sense that you comfort each other.”
Viv sought further clarification. “Will we stay at the same place at the same time Kara? I don’t want you back, if we’re honest we were over some time ago, but I’m not sure it would be easy to watch you together.... or hear anything.” She grimaced.
Kara smiled. “That goes for me too. We’ll work it out okay, minimise our time togeth
er. Lets just all admit that seeing each other with someone else is still going to hurt, despite the decision we’ve all made.” She looked at Viv as she spoke. “We all got married, you can’t get more committed than that. So, we will all have to be sensitive to each other, agreed?” They all nodded.
“So, what now?”
Nat addressed them both. “We set ground rules, you can lead on them as much as you want, and we will follow. We’ll agree schedules, main bases, bills, food shopping. Where we can we leave things as they are, let’s not complicate things more than we need to. I’m sure we can all be adult about this, and it doesn’t have to be for too long.”
Lou grasped Vivien’s hand, looking at her and then the others. “What about tonight?”
Natalie answered first. “Kara, I want to be with you.”
Kara reached for Nat’s hand. “Okay, lets carry on, as last night. Just be discreet. At least it’s still dark early, so our movements will be less obvious. Then you can let us know what you’ve decided.”
Soon after Lou and Vivien left, Kara and Natalie were confident that they would agree to the plan, there was no other way that would minimise the damage they were causing.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
EPILOGUE - 2 years later
Natalie ran into the hospital waiting room, looking for Kara. The room was large with leather couches around the walls, their only decoration NHS posters educating the readers on healthy lifestyles. She soon found Kara, the room was empty apart from her. She was sitting, bent over with her head in her hands. Natalie sat next to her, putting her arm around her shoulders and pulling her into a hug. “Hey babe, don’t worry Vivien is strong and healthy, you know that.”
Kara hugged her, then sighed. The birth of Lou and Vivien’s twin girls seemed to be going smoothly, but her contractions had slowed, and they were currently performing a caesarean.
She raised her head, her eyes and face blotchy from crying. “I know that rationally, but until it’s all over I can’t help but worry.”
Natalie pulled her closer, kissing her forehead. She knew Kara still cared for Vivien, they’d been together thirteen years, how could she not, after all she did too. Hence why they were both currently in the hospital, where they had each dashed as soon as they could when Lou let them know Viv was in labour. Neil and Susan were on their way. The plan had been to induce her in three days; however the twins clearly hadn’t wanted to wait for that.
Natalie though back to the day she had realised that Lou and Viv wanted children together. She and Kara were sitting in their living room having pre-dinner drinks, Lou and Viv had just served the drinks and they awaited their return from the kitchen.
Kara smiled at Nat. “You know nice as this is, I can’t help but think there’s an ulterior motive for this dinner invitation.” She would soon realise her intuition was correct when they both returned and sat down. Natalie could see how nervous they were.
Lou cleared her throat, holding Viv’s hand tightly. “Thanks for coming, we wanted to discuss something important with you.”
Nat and Kara waited anxiously. Although they remained on friendly terms, this more formal dinner invitation to Kara’s old home implied the need for a more serious conversation.
Vivien looked at them. “We’ve decided to try for a baby.”
Kara couldn’t hide her concern, she sat forward on her chair. She knew from Natalie that Lou couldn’t have children, so that left Vivien. “Is that possible?”
Vivien smiled, a hopeful look crossing her face. “Well you can never be sure of success, but I’ve had tests and I still seem to be fertile, so we want to at least try.”
Natalie smiled, she knew how much Lou had wanted this, her gaze took in them both. “That’s good news, I’m happy for you, both of you. I’m just not sure why you wanted to tell us.”
Lou coughed, looking directly at Nat. “Well.... it’s just that Neil has offered to be the donor.”
Natalie couldn’t contain her reaction. “What?”
“Neil wants to help us.”
Silence filled the room until Natalie broke it, looking between Lou and Vivien. “Well, I can’t say I’m not surprised, but I still don’t see what that’s got to do with me. You don’t need my permission for this, neither does Neil, you’re all adults.”
Lou looked at Vivien, then Nat. “We’re not looking for your permission Natalie, but we would like your blessing.”
Natalie responded to Lou, forgetting for a moment that the others were in the room. “And if I can’t give that....?”
Lou swallowed, her face pale, and expression sombre. “Then we’ll respect your wishes.”
“And a donor, what would you do then?”
Lou’s hand gripped Viv’s tighter, Vivien was close to tears. “Well you know how I feel about family. We don’t want an anonymous donor, we’d look to friends, or interview, get to know people. We’ll manage if it’s meant to be...right?”
Kara looked at Vivien and then Natalie. Viv was now 36, nearly 37 and while that wasn’t old to have a family now, the planning required for them to have children was more complex. What Lou talked of would take time, time they maybe didn’t have.
“Did Neil ask you to talk to me?”
Lou sighed. “Nat, come on, we were never going to do this without talking to you first!”
“Well, thanks for that at least.” Natalie knew Neil had remained close to Lou, despite their separation, they’d always got on well. Neil had actually known Lou before her, when his school joined with Holmford House for sports events. She didn’t resent their continued relationship, on the contrary she was glad it survived their split; Lou was good with him. “How does Susan feel about this?”
Vivien found her voice. “Neil and Susan want to do this for us, they’d spoken at length. They aren’t planning any more children. We didn’t approach him, he offered, and I think Susan had suggested it to him.”
Nat looked at them, her voice heavy with emotion. “And what about after, would he be a part of the child’s life?”
Lou smiled at her. “Of course. I’d be the named parent, he wouldn’t be looking for joint custody or anything, but we’d want him in the child’s life. He or she would know he’s their dad, and that their kids are half-siblings.”
“And what about me, I’d be their aunt, or gran, given how Neil sees me?”
Early in her caring for him Neil had began to call his sister mum. Her dad wasn’t worried, nor was the counsellor from child psychiatric services. He’d just wanted to be like his friends, to not stand out as different. He’d been different enough before, his mum’s illness hadn’t been a secret; she’d collected him from school a few times acting in ways that had embarrassed him. So, while Nat hadn’t actively encouraged it, she hadn’t discouraged it either. He needed to feel secure, not further rejected. Now he either called her Nat or mum depending on the situation. She still responded to either. Neil and Susan’s kids just called her Tally, from their first being unable to pronounce her name.
Lou reached out, touching Nat’s arm reassuringly. “Nat, we’d want you to be in the child’s life, whatever you’re comfortable with.”
“That’s true for me too Natalie.” Viv looked at Kara. “I’m just aware that it continues to keep us tied together, this would keep us a close part of each others’ lives for good.”
Kara grinned. “I think we’ve already managed that ourselves, don’t you?”
They all smiled. After ending their marriages they’d spent the next three months living between two houses, spending time with their respective spouses and with each other, believing only being seen with their new partner would seem suspicious. This allowed them all to work through their issues and get to know each other. Over time they’d all come to the same conclusion, they they were much happier in their new relationships; and whilst it was painful getting there, their new partnerships had shared goals.
Kara and Natalie had watched from the side lines, happy as Lou and Viv’s relations
hip developed and deepened. Each had ringside seats to the other relationship, and whilst it didn’t completely eradicate the pain, it certainly assisted the healing, bonding them in unexpected ways.
As planned, at the beginning of the Summer school holidays Natalie and Kara officially left them. Natalie had told her boss at Uni just before the term ended and she was understanding. Given the holidays they would be away for most of the Summer, free to spend time together. Before the Spring term started they all sat down and discussed what they wanted. Within a few months Lou and Vivien were open about their new relationship.
They divorced quickly and both couples quickly married, small ceremonies, they just wanted to cement their relationships. Natalie now wore the previous engagement ring, as well as one with a larger stone, alongside her new wedding ring.
Lou and Vivien took over Kara and Vivien’s house, Kara had little attachment to it, and she and Vivien had scarcely lived in it together. Also, after three months living between houses, it didn’t feel like it belonged to anyone. Natalie signed her house over to Neil and Susan, given their growing family and limited income. She and Kara bought a modern townhouse in Broughty Ferry, a quaint town outside Dundee.
Even after they were formally separated, making these decisions and implementing them meant they were regularly in contact. What started as meetings to discuss finances had morphed into something else, building on their previous three months in each others’ pockets, to become a different kind of closeness. They might no longer be in love with their former partners, but that didn’t mean they stopped caring. If anyone else had an issue with that, that was their problem.
Lou looked at Nat’s face, all colour had drained from it. “Look Natalie, if you need time to think about this we understand. Tonight was to let you know and give you the chance to ask any initial questions.”