by Ravenna Tate
She shrugged and finished her lemonade, then glanced around for their server. Oliver was more obvious. He pointed to the first server who met his eye and motioned for more lemonade. Blair grinned at him. “It must be wonderful to simply point and have people bring you things.”
He waited until they each had more lemonade to answer her. “It is. Now tell me why you didn’t pursue acting.”
“I got sidetracked.”
“By what?”
“That is way, way off the same subject. It’s my turn. How did you meet the other Weathermen?”
He narrowed his eyes, but she could tell he knew she was right.
“Quite a few of them attended college together and met that way. I met Barclay in college, and he met Emmett and Grayson as undergrads when all three attended a symposium on software and web design. That’s how I got to know Emmett and Grayson.”
“So you didn’t all attend the same school?”
“No, we did not. Emmett already knew Ace, Ace knew Blaine, Blaine knew Viggo and Dominic, and Grayson knew Addison. Ten of us met Atticus as undergrads when we decided to attend a seminar on the newest hardware. Atticus knew Kane because his parents knew Kane’s parents through business connections, and that’s how we met both of them.”
“And when did you all decide to save the planet together?” She put up her hands. “And don’t tell me that question isn’t related.”
He laughed softly. “I won’t because you’re right. It is related. We kept in touch all through earning our undergrad degrees, and then many of us went to grad school at the same places. We’d get together once a month, even during school if possible, and planned ways to either start our businesses, or grow them for those of us who had already begun theirs. Kane, Ace, and Barclay inherited their businesses. By the time we all were forced to move underground, we were in our early thirties and long finished with grad school.”
“And by that time, you each were set in your individual businesses.”
“Yes, but moving them underground required tremendous resources and planning. Many of us lost employees who didn’t survive. We lost family members. In my case, I had to restructure everything we did because our focus literally shifted overnight.”
“So you’ve been good friends with the other Weathermen for about twenty years, then.”
“Yes, give or take a few years.”
Their burgers arrived, and Blair saw the skeptical look Oliver gave his. She hoped the poor guy didn’t get sick from it. He took a bite, and then immediately followed that with a long drink of water. “Wow. Delicious, but wow. Hot and spicy.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, no. I really love it. I just hope I’m not up all night from it.”
I’ll keep you company if you are.
She took a bite so her mouth was full and she wouldn’t be tempted to put that thought into actual words. “I guess now it’s your turn to ask me a question.”
He put down his burger and grinned. “What sidetracked you from pursuing acting?”
“I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”
“More like you slammed into the wall head first.”
She took another bite of her burger while she thought about the worst possible scenario if she told him a few things about her past. He wouldn’t fire her. She was his best project leader, and she knew that. On the other hand, working as closely as she had to with him might become uncomfortable if he knew too much.
He couldn’t hurt her unless she let him into her life in an intimate way, and that was under her control not to do. The very worst thing that could happen is that work might become awkward. She took another bite, and he merely watched her, his expression calm and interested. She’d never seen a man so patient. Was he human?
Could she live with having her everyday life at work become a bit strained? Yes. She could. Compared to things in her past, that would be a cake walk. And the simple truth was that she didn’t have to tell him everything, only enough to satisfy his curiosity.
Blair swallowed the food in her mouth and took a quick sip of lemonade. “My mother had some health issues when I was a kid.” Not technically a lie. “We didn’t have money for things like acting classes, and there were only limited opportunities in high school.” Also the truth. “Once I graduated, things got crazy with the weather, and I moved here to take the job with your company.”
A shadow of doubt crossed his face, not that she blamed him. He hadn’t made it to the top of the heap in his field by being a pushover, and her answer had enough holes in it to use it for cheesecloth.
“You could have pursued it underground. What made you choose BioSystems engineering of all things?”
“I worked for you. I became interested in it.”
He looked like he wanted to ask something else, but instead told her it was her turn, and then took a few more bites of his burger. The next question sprang to her mind, and she simply blurted it out. “How did you recognize I was having a panic attack?”
The second it was out of her mouth, she realized he’d ask her about the attack when it was his turn. Her many shrinks over the years would say she’d done it on purpose, because she wanted to tell him. Blair would agree with them, though at the thought of spilling her guts completely to him, her pulse raced. That could also be because of the hot sauce on the burger, however.
You still don’t have to tell him everything.
That was true. She put down her burger and waited to see if he’d answer her question or side-step it.
He cleared his throat softly before he spoke. “Shortly before I made it underground, there was a massive wind and rain storm where I lived. I was in a warehouse at the time, taking stock of items I still hoped to sell or give away before I moved my business underground for good. You know what the storms were like back then. Same as they are now up there.”
She nodded, then acted on pure instinct and took his hands the way he’d done to her earlier. The tenderness in his eyes at her gesture nearly burst her heart. This man would never hurt her like Donny and so many others had done. She knew that as suddenly as if neon lights had flashed the message on the wall behind him.
He gave them a quick squeeze before continuing. “There was no rhyme or reason to them. They simply came out of nowhere. I had no time to get out of the building and drive or run away from the area. I was stuck. The flooding was massive and quick. It was a four-story building, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that within twenty minutes the water was up to the second story.”
“Oh my God. Did you try to call for help?”
He shook his head slightly. “Yeah, but trust me. There was no one to help and no way for them to do it even if they could get there. The wind was starting to catch the roof tiles. I could hear it. I hid in an interior room on the top floor and prayed.”
Sweat broke out along her hairline just picturing it. Her heart went out to this man who worked so hard to keep them alive under these cities. She knew people who had been in storms on the surface before making it underground, and you never got over something like that. Not entirely. That he’d gone through an experience like that and had still successfully rebuilt his business was a testament to his strength.
“Just as quickly as the storm started it stopped, but it took over forty-eight hours before the water receded to the point I could get out. The power was out, and the building had no running water. I had no food with me, and I found only a few bottles of water in the fridge on the second floor, but I couldn’t get to them until the next morning. Oh, and there was a jar of peanut butter that hadn’t been ruined by the water in one of the cupboards. Yes, I ate the entire thing.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Those were the last days I spent above ground. The inventory still in the warehouse was ruined, and I simply left it there. The entire time while the water receded, I made plans in my head to leave and move underground. I couldn’t imagine chancing it and waiting for the next storm. I tried not to picture what wo
uld happen if it did while I was still stuck in that building.”
“I’m surprised the water receded enough for you to leave in such a short time.”
“I was, too, but I wasn’t going to question it. I went home, packed what I could, then went to the office. Hardly anyone was left by then. I told them all to get out that day. Those who were coming with me already knew where we had set up the company in this city. I left that day and have never been back.”
“Do you still have panic attacks?”
“Not now. I had them for about two years afterwards. The memories haven’t faded as much as I’d have thought they would by now. That’s why I recognized what you were going through.”
She didn’t say anything, merely stared into his eyes. Their server came to ask if they needed anything else, and Oliver asked her to give them a few minutes to think about it. After she left, he gave Blair a sympathetic look.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I will understand. Just know this. I am here to listen anytime. Whether you want to tell me a little, or tell me the whole thing, I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk.”
She wasn’t sure she understood. “No more questions, then?”
“Not about your panic attacks.” He gave her hands another squeeze and then released them. “I need to finish this burger. It’s too good to leave uneaten. How about dessert? What do you recommend?”
Blair almost felt cheated because it had taken her a lot of courage and soul searching to reach the decision she’d tell him a little, but at the same time, she was overwhelmed at his compassion and understanding.
“I’ve had the apple crisp, and it’s fabulous warmed with vanilla ice cream on top. But I’m not sure I can eat an entire one myself. I’m pretty stuffed.”
“That sounds heavenly. Let’s share it.” He signaled for their server and ordered one apple crisp to share, then asked Blair if she’d like to take a walk when they were finished. “The river is pretty at night, with the lights along it.”
“I’d love that.” This evening had turned out to be more delightful than she’d ever imagined, and it wasn’t over yet. Blair had the sensation of a fresh breeze blowing, the way it used to feel and smell after a heavy rain. Maybe her luck was finally changing?
Chapter Four
Oliver held her hand as they walked along the fake river. They’d even added the smell of water, but he remembered what a river had really smelled like, and they couldn’t duplicate the soft breeze that had blown off one as you walked this close to it. Still, this was very pleasant, made so only because he was with Blair.
He’d made the decision not to push her into telling him what had triggered the panic attack after relaying the story of the wind and rain storm. He could have died in that warehouse. A few more days without adequate drinking water and food and he likely would have died anyway, because he doubted anyone would have found him in time to get him to a hospital.
Telling it to someone made him all the more cognizant of how it felt to hold a secret like that inside. Whatever had sparked her reaction this morning, once again he realized she clearly wasn’t ready to tell him. He didn’t doubt the story about her mother, but he also sensed it wasn’t complete by any stretch of the imagination.
He glanced down at her, smiling at the way the lights made her hair shine. Why didn’t she date? Would she be upset if he asked? Only one way to find out. He’d been wondering for years now. She didn’t have many close friends at work and no one knew much about her.
“How is it you’re not seeing anyone?”
She kept her gaze on the walkway in the distance. “I was, but I’m not now.”
If she’d recently broken up with someone, that was news to him. “Someone at work?” If one of his team members had hurt her, he’d have to do something about it.
“No. He doesn’t work for you.”
“Blair, forgive me for prying, but it’s very hard for me to believe there is only one ex-boyfriend in your life.”
She stopped walking and took a seat on one of the many benches lining the walkway. He sat next to her, watching the emotions cross her face in profile. His heart went out to this woman. She clearly was conflicted about confiding in him, but he knew from personal experience that it did help to get things out. She was so damn pretty and smart, yet there was a naiveté to her that he could see some asshole taking advantage of.
“He wasn’t a boyfriend. I mean, I’ve had them before, but the last actual relationship I had wasn’t with a boyfriend. He was my husband. His name was Donny Gallagher.”
Whoa…
“I didn’t realize you’d been married.”
“It didn’t last long. Three months.”
Holy shit. Did anyone at work know about this? “I’m so sorry.”
She finally faced him, and he was shocked to see the venom in her eyes. “Don’t be. I’m not sorry. The bastard tried to force me to have sex with him and two of his equally drunk friends. Let me clarify that. He didn’t try it only because he was drunk. He talked about it all the time once I had the ring on my finger, despite my telling him I wasn’t the least bit interested in being gang-banged by him and his drinking buddies.”
Oliver swallowed hard, totally at a loss for words. He tried to picture this beautiful, capable, intelligent woman married to someone like that, but couldn’t. There was a huge piece of this picture missing.
“They were all more drunk than usual that night, so I was able to fight them off easily, but I realized things were escalating and knew the next time I might not be so lucky. I left our apartment that same night, taking only what I could carry. I never came back for the rest, and he never contested the divorce.”
“Do you still talk to him?” Please say no.
“No. He used to email me every time a woman dumped him, but I never answered. I’d block him and he’d email from another address, so I’d block him again. The last time I heard from him was to tell me he’s married again to some woman he met in a bar.”
Why did the asshole feel the need to keep in touch with her? “How long ago was that?”
“I don’t remember. A few months probably. I don’t care.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“It’s all right. You asked, I answered.”
She crossed her arms and legs, staring straight ahead at the fake river. Oliver didn’t want the evening to end this way. There was much more to this story. He sensed it. More importantly, he wanted to get to know the person inside. The person he saw and admired at work.
“Where did you meet him?”
“Not in a bar.”
She had a witty sense of humor, and that she could use it now made him want her even more.
“We met in one of my classes. Not the engineering classes. This was one of the pre-requisites. English, to be exact. He was at the university earning a general studies degree which he never finished.”
No surprise there.
“He asked me out for a year before I finally said yes. It was kind of creepy, actually. Followed me around the campus even when we didn’t have classes together. He was always showing up, now that I think about it. He must have known my schedule.”
He decided not to remark that he’d asked her out twice that long before she finally said yes. The reason why she’d avoided dating him had suddenly become a bit clearer, although he realized the fact that she’d also avoided going out with her ex-husband meant this story went back further than that.
“I couldn’t even tell you why I married him. I think it was because I wanted to believe him. I desperately wanted to believe someone in this world wasn’t…”
Her words trailed off and she cut her gaze to him. The same trapped animal look he’d glimpsed this morning was back.
“After I married him, I found out about his criminal record.”
The hair on the back of Oliver’s neck prickled.
“Petty stuff. Shoplifting, theft, and one arrest for rape but it was never prosecut
ed. She recanted, and he swore to me she was a girlfriend who had accused him because of a fight they’d had.”
“Oh, Blair.” He wanted to find this Donny Gallagher and beat the shit out of him. “Did he know about your past?”
“No!” She hugged herself tighter. “I never told him any of that.”
Oliver acted on pure instinct, moving closer to her so he could place an arm around her shoulder. “It’s all right. You’re safe here.”
She sucked in a huge, long breath. “I know,” she whispered.
He waited, knowing to push her to explain or finish the thought was the wrong thing to do, but hating the feeling of powerlessness. He wanted to make it all better for her. His instincts had been spot on. Someone had hurt this girl before she met the ex. Had hurt her badly.
She moved away from him and stood. “I think it’s time I go home.”
Oliver searched his mind for anything to say to keep her here, but she was already moving away. He caught up to her and offered his arm. She wrapped her hand around it, but her touch wasn’t the same as it had been earlier when she’d held his hand while they walked. She was stiff now, as if she’d only taken his arm to be polite.
“I’m sorry to have upset you.”
“You didn’t. Honestly.”
“I meant what I said in the restaurant. When you’re ready to talk, I’m here.”
She stopped walking, removed her hand from his arm, and faced him. The look of pain and desperation on her face nearly tore him apart. What the hell was going on? Why couldn’t he figure out how to help her?
“Oliver, I enjoy working for you so much. The job is fabulous. And I like you, too. I like you a lot. You’re so different from the other men I’ve dated. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He forced a smile to his face. This was a brush-off if ever he’d heard one, and it had been a very long time since a woman had done that to him. “You won’t hurt me.”
“You know what I mean. I’m pretty fucked up. You’ve likely figured that out by now. I never should have had dinner with you. I don’t want to lead you on.”
He took a deep breath and tried to focus his thoughts. “First of all, I will never regret this evening. I’ve had a very nice time. Secondly, you haven’t led me on. Not even close. And as for you being fucked up, we all are. I mean let’s face it, Blair. Anyone living underground is pretty fucked up. We all went through hell and back before we got here.”