In Case You're Curious

by Planned Parenthood

  Masturbation is touching your own body because it feels good. Good news: you can’t give yourself an STI or cause a pregnancy from masturbation! As a matter of fact, masturbation is a healthy activity many people choose to do. Some people do it and some don’t. It’s a person’s choice whether they want to masturbate or not—and it often depends on their values, their body, and whether they feel comfortable doing it. If someone chooses to masturbate, it is important they do it in a private place.

  Even if it’s “like a lot,” the act of sex or masturbation doesn’t kill people. If someone dies during sex or while masturbating, it’s usually because of other causes. A person can have sex or masturbate as much as they want, as long as it is consensual, doesn’t get them in trouble, and doesn’t get in the way of everyday life.

  Sex shouldn’t hurt. If having vaginal sex for the first time, a person with a vagina may feel a pinching sensation, which sometimes happens if their hymen tears or stretches. If the person has already had vaginal sex before, or is having anal sex, and there is pain, it could be because there is an infection or an STI, because the person is not excited or relaxed enough, because there’s not enough lubricant, or because of a medical condition. If sex hurts, it is important to stop and talk to your partner and/or your doctor. Sex should be pleasurable for both people.

  SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT YOU BLEED WHEN YOU FIRST HAVE SEX, IS THAT TRUE? IF IT IS, DOES IT HAPPEN WITH EVERY WOMAN, OR ONLY SOME?

  Everyone is different: some people with vaginas bleed during the first time they have vaginal sex and others don’t. Both are perfectly normal. Bleeding can come from the hymen breaking/tearing for the first time. If someone does not bleed the first time they have vaginal sex, it does not mean they’ve had sex before. Many people’s hymens break before they have vaginal sex for the first time.

  After a person with a vagina has sex, it is common and normal for fluid to exit the vaginal opening. The fluids are normal vaginal fluids that are produced as a result of arousal. If a person with a vagina has had sex with a person with a penis and didn’t use a condom, the vaginal fluids will be mixed with the ejaculated semen. Gravity then works its magic, and fluids in the vagina will come out. Even if this fluid comes out of the vagina, a pregnancy can still happen because the sperm may have already started swimming farther into the body.

  HOW LONG SHOULD SEX LAST?

  Sex can last as long as the people having sex want it to! Some people stop having sex after orgasm and/or ejaculation, and some people don’t. It can take some people a short time to orgasm or ejaculate, and it can take others a long time. Some people will stop having sex even if they do not orgasm or ejaculate. Sexual activities might last a minute or an hour—it just depends on the person. The moment a person wants it to stop, sex should stop immediately.

  Sorry, but there’s not just one way to make someone horny or turn them on. Everyone likes different things. For some people, this could be touching, things their partner says, or even looks and glances; other people set the mood with music or candles. The best way to know what turns them on is to ask them. It’s important for both you and your partner to express yourselves, but also to listen to each other’s boundaries.

  An orgasm is a feeling of intense sexual pleasure, felt in the genitals or throughout the entire body. It is sometimes called “cumming” or climaxing. The vagina can release fluid and the penis can ejaculate semen, but not always. Some people say it feels like fireworks are going off. Don’t worry, fireworks don’t actually go off.

  “Faking an orgasm” is when someone pretends to have an orgasm without actually having one. Anyone can do this, not just people with vaginas. People have different reasons why they might do this: they may be unable to orgasm, they may want to please their partner, they may feel ready to stop having sex because they’re tired, or they may feel like that is what they are supposed to do. Whatever someone’s reason, no one should feel like they have to fake an orgasm.

  Open communication is super important in any sexual relationship. If someone doesn’t speak up about what feels good and what doesn’t, it could impact their ability to have sex they really enjoy.

  WHY DO GUYS MOAN?

  Here’s the deal: have you ever said “Mmmmmm” when a delicious plate of food is put down in front of you? People react to enjoyable things in different ways, sometimes vocally. So, some people (of every gender) moan during sex or sexual activity. There isn’t one reason for moaning—it could mean something feels really good, but it might mean something else. Honestly, the only way to know for sure why someone is moaning is to ask them.

  Is it possible? Maybe. Is it likely? No. Let’s talk about the vagina—it’s like a pocket. Think about a pocket on a pair of jeans. When something is put inside, the pocket opens to hold it. Then when it is removed, the pocket lays back down flat. Same with the vagina. The vaginal walls stretch when a penis is inserted. When it comes out, the vaginal walls will go back again. The vagina is made of muscle, so it’s meant to stretch! If someone is tense or nervous, the muscles of the vagina can contract; the penis may feel “stuck,” but it can actually still come out. It cannot get “stuck” in the vagina forever.

  This is the same reason that vaginas don’t get “loose” or gapped. The vagina is meant to stretch!

  If both people are cool with it, totally. It’s medically okay to have sex during someone’s period. It’s a personal choice for both people involved. If someone has sex on their period, pregnancy and STIs are still possible. Using condoms and birth control can help reduce risk.

  Put down the phone! You don’t need to call poison control. Semen (cum) itself will not make someone sick—as in, it will not necessarily make someone’s stomach ache. But, if someone has an STI, it can be spread through oral sex. STIs can make someone sick. Using a condom can help reduce that risk.

  WILL MY TESTICLES EXPLODE IF I MASTURBATE TOO MUCH?

  Relax, testicles do not explode. If a person is masturbating a lot, the penis, testicles, vulva, clitoris, or vagina can become sore to the touch or swollen. If masturbation is painful, it is a good idea to take a little break.

  There are a lot of myths out there about what semen tastes like. And even myths that some foods can change the taste of semen. But don’t change your diet so fast. Eating a lot of pinapple doesn’t make semen taste just like pineapple. There are some foods out there that can slightly change the way a person’s body fluids taste or smell. However, it takes awhile for that change to happen, and there is no guarantee the change would be noticeable. In other words, don’t count on it!

  Yes, some people do get tired or sleepy after sex. Some people get sleepy during sex, and some people are already sleepy 30 minutes after they wake up in the morning! Everybody is different. Tiredness could be because sex felt like a work out, or because sexual release (orgasm) can make someone feel really relaxed afterwards. But other people may feel energized or even more excited after sex. Because sex can be different each time, people may feel some or all of these effects in their lifetime.

  Lube, or lubrication, is typically used during sex to reduce friction and to increase sensation (or pleasure). If there is too much friction during sex, it can cause condoms to break or cause pain. Anybody can use lube to help make sex safer and feel better. If a person is going to use lube, it needs to be safe for the body. Water-based or silicone-based lubricants are often suggested. Do not use anything you find just because it’s “slippery,” like cooking oil, lotion, sunscreen, shampoo, etc.

  While most condoms come lubricated, water-based and silicone-based lubes are also safe for condom use. Oil-based lubes can break down the condom during use.

  We cannot tell you the best time to first have sex. Things that are important to consider before having sex: what do I want to protect against (pregnancy, STIs, or both); what protection method should we use; is my partner ready to have sex; do we feel comfortable talking about sexual boundaries; do I trust and respect my partner; what would we do about an STI or a pregn
ancy; and is it legal for people our age to have sex in our state? If you aren’t able to answer all the things listed above, then you may not be ready to have safe and consensual sex. And everyone deserves to have safe and consensual sex.

  Porn, or pornography, is the name for videos or images that show nudity or sexual scenes. These images are only meant for adults, and buying or viewing them is illegal for anyone under eighteen years old. It’s important to remember that porn is fiction, meaning that the people in porn videos are actors and the scenes aren’t always realistic. Just like when a person sees an action movie with explosions or car chases, many of the things shown in porn aren’t like real life.

  DO YOU BURN CALORIES HAVING SEX OR MASTURBATING?

  Would you believe that scientists have actually done some research on this? And they found that the answer is yes! Most people are surprised to learn that sex burns between one hundred and three hundred calories. But this depends on many things, like how long sex lasts, each person’s weight, and how active it is. Masturbating typically burns fewer calories than sex.4

  We show love in so many ways. Often TV or movies makes it seem like the only way to “prove” our love to someone is to have sex. But love is about trusting and respecting a person. Love is about supporting someone when they are having a hard time. Love can be holding hands until they get sweaty and still holding on. Love can be kissing until your lips get puffy. Love can be making each other laugh, and holding each other when you cry. Love is so much more than just sex.

  CHAPTER TWO

  “CAN YOU BREAK A PENIS?”

  AND OTHER QUESTIONS ABOUT ANATOMY

  SO WHATS, LIKE, A NORMAL PENIS SIZE?

  In the United States, the average adult penis is between three to four inches when flaccid (soft) and five to six inches long when erect (hard). The cool thing about averages is that some people may be bigger and some people may be smaller. A lot of people worry about penis size. So it is important to remember everyone’s body is different, and whatever your body looks like is normal and healthy for you, so try not to compare your body to others!5

  SHOULD MY VAGINA LOOK A CERTAIN WAY?

  Many people say “vagina” when they’re actually talking about the vulva. For people who have vaginas, the vulva is the outside part of the genitals that you can see, while the actual vagina is inside the body. There’s no certain way any part of your genitals should look. In fact, vaginas and vulvas are as unique as faces—they all have the same parts, but everyone’s looks a little different.

  WHY ARE MY BOOBS UNEVEN?

  Boobs are siblings, not identical twins! Just like every other part of the body, different people’s breasts can grow differently. Breasts come in all different shapes and sizes, and a person’s breasts may not always look exactly the same. It’s common for one breast to be larger or smaller than the other, and one can even be a different shape.

  WHY DOES MY PENIS HAVE SOME EXTRA SKIN ON IT?

  Extra skin around the head (top) of the penis is called foreskin. Some people have had their foreskin removed. This procedure is called circumcision and typically occurs soon after a baby is born. Families decide whether or not to circumcise the child, and this decision is made based on a number of reasons (religion, culture, family decision, etc.). If the foreskin remains on the penis, it is called “intact.” Every penis is different, and both circumcised and intact penises are healthy and normal. If your penis has the foreskin, it will still work the same way as a penis without a foreskin. A person with their foreskin will need to practice self-care a little differently (like pulling the skin back when washing the penis), but other than that, the only difference is the way their penis looks. In all actuality, though, all penises look different from each other. Check out the drawing below for examples of what a penis can look like.

  WHY DO ERECTIONS HAPPEN?

  An erection is when the penis gets hard and stands away from the body. The penis is made up of erectile tissue (tissue that looks like a sponge). When a person gets sexually excited, it causes blood to flow into the penis and fill up the sponge-like material, which causes the material to expand and trap the blood. This causes the penis to grow bigger, feel hard, and stand up or out. Eventually the blood drains out of the erectile tissue. When this happens the penis will get soft again (flaccid) and lay back against the body.

  WHAT ARE BLUE BALLS AND CAN IT PERMANENTLY #%@$ YOU UP?

  “Blue balls” is a term for when a person with a penis is sexually excited and has an erection, but isn’t able to ejaculate. This sensation may feel heavy, uncomfortable, or even achy. The feeling does not last for long and will not have long term effects on the body (or penis!). A person does not have to ejactulate in order for the feeling or their erection to go away.

  P.S. No matter who you are or how excited you are, it isn’t okay to pressure your partner into having sex just because you are sexually aroused.

  When someone uses the term “boner” they are talking about the penis getting erect (hard). You may have heard someone say the words “lady boner.” This could be referring to a couple different things. First, when a person with a vagina gets sexually excited, blood will rush in and cause swelling to the clitoris, the labia, and the vagina. It is normal to feel a throbbing sensation when this happens. The clitoris may even feel hard. This term has also been used as slang when a person who identifies as a female is attracted to or turned on by another person.

  HOW MANY EGGS DO I HAVE?

  When a person with a vagina is born, they have all their eggs. They are typically born with 1-2 million eggs in their ovaries. Two million eggs is quite a birthday present. But don’t worry, that doesn’t mean there will be that many pregnancies. Many of the eggs will never fully develop or go anywhere outside of the ovary. A person with a vagina will likely release around 500 eggs during their lifetime, starting at puberty and ending at menopause.6 (For more about what menopause is, Click Here.)

  WHERE IS SPERM MADE?

  The sperm factory! Actually, it’s the testicles, which will start making sperm when a person with a penis hits puberty. Thousands of sperm will be made every minute for the rest of their lives so, when you think about it, it is kind of like a sperm factory. Once the sperm have been made in the testicles, they move to the epididymis, which is just right upstairs from the testicles. They will hang out there for about two weeks until they are ready to be released, and if the sperm are not released during that time, they die and are reabsorbed by the body.7

  No, that does not always mean that you like someone. It might, but it might not. When a person with a vagina feels sexually excited, the vagina may make more vaginal fluid and get “wetter.” This is the body’s natural response, which happens to create lubrication during sex. Similarly, if a person with a penis feels sexually excited, their penis may become erect (hard) and some precum (fluid produced by the body to clean out the penis prior to ejaculation) might come out, making that person’s clothing a little wet. Although we might want to, we can’t control who we’re attracted to, but we do get to control what we do with those feelings. Just because your body has a normal physical response doesn’t mean you have to act on that physical response. If you don’t, nothing bad will happen. And that normal physical response doesn’t necessarily mean you have a romantic interest in someone, or that you like them. It’s also important to know that you can like someone, or be attracted to them, and not get wet. Everyone’s body is different and reacts to being attracted to someone differently.

  Remember, the vagina can also get wet due to its natural discharge. Click Here for more information!

  WHY DOES THE DOCTOR NEED TO SEE MY PRIVATES?

  For the same reason they listen to your heart, a doctor needs to check a person’s privates (penis, scrotum, breasts, vulva, and vagina) to make sure that they are healthy. It is still important that a doctor asks your permission before touching your private parts. A health care professional should also talk you through what they are doing and why. If you ever f
eel uncomfortable you can ask them to stop, and then you can talk with a parent or other trusted adult. Also, know that you can always have another person in the room with you if that helps you feel more comfortable. Speak up for yourself so that you feel good about getting the health care you deserve.

  Trust us, it’s not because they do not like water! Usually, when you go swimming, the water is cold! And your testicles don’t like the cold. Whenever the testicles get cold, the scrotum (the skin or sack that holds the testicles) will pull them closer to the body to help keep them warm. This happens because the testicles need to be at a specific temperature so the body can produce sperm (and they are always making sperm). Think of the scrotum as your own personal heating and cooling system!