CHAPTER SEVEN
“WAIT, CONDOMS EXPIRE?”
AND OTHER QUESTIONS ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL
Absolutely! Abstinence means that someone is not having sex. Anybody can choose not to have sex at any time in their life—even if they have had sex before. Abstinence is the most effective method of protection against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. You get to decide what’s best for you in terms of when or whether you are abstinent.
The honest answer is, the best birth control is the birth control that you will use! Everyone is different, so the method that works best for each person will be different, too. Some methods are more effective than others when used the correct way, so choosing one you’ll use the right way every time is important.
WHY DO COUDONS HAVE TO BE PUT ON A CERTAIN WAY?
Condoms are most effective when used correctly. The steps to putting on a condom ensure that the condom works.
Make sure the condom hasn’t expired and there is no visible
damage to the wrapper.
Slide the condom to the side of the package and tear along the ridges of the wrapper to open. It’s important to use your hands to open the condom and not the cool samurai sword hanging above your bed.
Don’t just jump to putting the condom on the penis. Make sure it’s right side up by checking that it is the right direction on your finger. If the condom is right side up, it will easily unroll. If it doesn’t unroll, flip it over before putting it on the penis.
Pinch the tip of the condom. This makes it so no extra air is trapped in the condom. This is no time for a balloon animal. Blocking off this space also allows room for fluids that will be released by the penis during sex.
Roll the condom down the length of the penis. Not halfway, all the way. This also needs to happen after someone has an erection to make sure the condom fits.
Holding the base of the condom makes sure it doesn’t slip off when pulling out. Often after ejaculation a person can start to lose their erection. Without an erection, the condom may not fit properly.
It’s never a bad idea to tie a knot in the condom so the fluid doesn’t escape. Condoms go in the trash, not the toilet or the sink, and are never reused.
An internal condom is a condom option that is inserted into the vagina or anus. Just like with external condoms, it’s important to check the package and open carefully. Once the condom is out, make sure there is a ring inside of the condom and that you don’t see any tears. Pinch the internal ring inside the condom and insert it into the vagina. The larger ring should remain on the outside of the body. Once finished with the condom, twist the outside ring and pull the condom out. Throw the condom away in the trash.
Actually, no! People don’t wear two bike helmets at once, do they? Two condoms will not make someone safer. Condoms are designed to be worn one at a time. If someone insists on using two condoms, it is important to add lubrication between each condom to reduce friction. If there is friction, it increases the chance of each condom breaking.
There are lots of different ways to get birth control. Condoms can be bought online or at most gas stations, pharmacies, and grocery stores, and other methods can be prescribed at a clinic or doctor’s office. Before someone chooses to use any birth control method, it’s important they know how to use it properly. Thinking about how well they want it to work, how much it will cost, and how using the method will fit into their lifestyle can help a person decide what the best fit is for them.
HOW OLD DO I HAVE TO BE TO GET BIRTH CONTROL?
Depending on where you live, there might be different laws around birth control (check out the Wrap-Up for resources on birth control). In some places, there aren’t any age limits for birth control. In other places, people may need to be a certain age, have parental permission, or meet other state requirements before getting a prescription.
There is no age restriction for condoms!
Lucky you—you actually can get condoms at the doctor’s office, too! Even though the pill is generally very safe, it and other hormonal methods of birth control require a doctor’s visit and prescription. It’s important that a medical professional works with you to make sure the birth control is a good fit for you and is safe. Just like any other medication, hormonal birth control can have side effects (headaches, changes in mood, and nausea). It’s important to talk openly and honestly with your doctor about any existing health conditions to make sure they find the best method for your body and its unique needs. On the other hand, condoms don’t usually have any side effects unless someone is allergic to the material, so you can get them at the store or even online.
Things to consider when choosing a birth control method:
Cost
Whether it contains hormones, and how much
How well it works
How and when it’s used
Who it’s used by
STI protections
Co$t varie$ depending on the birth control method and where a per$on i$ getting their method. Condom$ are often given out at health center$ for free, or can be bought in pack$ for only a few dollar$. People can u$e in$urance and Medicaid to help pay, or fully pay, for their pre$cription birth control method$. If a per$on is worried about the co$t of their cho$en birth control, $ome place$ offer a$$i$tance. It can al$o be helpful to talk to a tru$ted adult.
Birth control is used for lots of reasons beyond pregnancy prevention. Some hormonal birth control methods can help clear up acne, reduce period cramps, lighten periods, make periods more regular, or take away periods all together. Just because someone is taking birth control, it doesn’t mean they are having sex.
Any reversible birth control method isn’t going to change how likely someone is to get pregnant when they aren’t using the method. Birth control only works when you are using it correctly and consistently; this means taking your pill every day, getting your shot on time, or using a condom every time you have sex. If someone is deciding to get off a prescribed birth control method, it’s important they talk to their doctor.32
There are also some forms of birth control that are permanent, called vasectomy and tubal ligation (sometimes called sterilization), which are surgeries that block the egg or sperm from being able to meet.
CAN PEOPLE TAKE ALL THE HORMONE TYPES AT THE SAME TIME? WOULD IT WORK BETTER?
It’s totally unnecessary to take more than one hormonal method of birth control at the same time unless prescribed by your doctor. It doesn’t make it work any better. In fact, if you’re using one method and using it the right way, it works really well! Taking a higher dose could cause even more side effects. Even though you can’t use more than one hormonal method at a time unless a doctor says to, you can use condoms with any other birth control method. Condoms can help prevent not only pregnancy, but STIs too.
You can have your cake and birth control, too! Most people don’t gain weight when they get on birth control.33 Hormonal methods can have many different side effects, and one side effect can be weight gain. However, most of the time weight gain isn’t from the birth control itself, but from your habits or from natural changes to your body as you grow up. The great thing is there are many types of birth control to choose from, so if the side effects of one aren’t working for you, you can talk to your doctor about another kind!
THE CONDOM MADE MY VAGINA BURN. WHAT HAPPENED?
No need to call the fire department—latex allergies are very common! When someone has an allergy to latex, symptoms can include burning, itching, and pain. Most condoms are made of latex, but if a person is allergic they can use non-latex condoms. Most non-latex condoms are made of a material called polyisoprene, and they work the same way as latex condoms to protect against pregnancy and STIs.
There are also lambskin condoms, but these only protect against pregnancy, not STIs.
There are so many different types of condoms. Some have lubricants that heat up, some have ridges, and others come in colors. What really matters is what the condom is made o
ut of. In order to prevent a pregnancy, it needs to be made out of latex, polyurethane, polyisoprene, or lambskin (though lambskin doesn’t protect against STIs). Since most external condoms have the same level of effectiveness, the “best” condom is the condom that feels the best to you. Finding a condom that works well for you and your partner may take trying a few different kinds. Once you find a brand you like, storing it correctly will make sure it continues to work for you every time.
How to store your condoms:
At room temperature (cozy is best!)
Out of direct sunlight (sunlight is too hot)
Not in a car (in a car is extra hot)
Not in a freezer (a freezer is too cold)
Not in your wallet (too much rubbing)
Wow, that can be scary! Whether the condom broke, a partner didn’t pull out, or a person didn’t take their birth control correctly, Emergency Contraception (EC) can be used by a person with a vagina up to three to five days after having unprotected vaginal sex to prevent pregnancy. Emergency Contraception does not help with the prevention of STIs, so if the condom broke and you are concerned about STIs, you should get tested. See the following question for more information on emergency contraception.
ICYC loves partner responsibility for protection! Emergency Contraception (or EC) is an over-the-counter birth control method that can be purchased at pharmacies. It may be on the shelf, kept behind the counter, or kept in a locked case, but no prescription is required. EC is meant to be used by someone with a vagina after unprotected sex. Because EC can be bought without a prescription, their partner can go into the store and get it for them. If someone wants to use their insurance, they would need to get a prescription themselves.
Emergency Contraception, like Plan B, is safe and can be used whenever someone needs it! It won’t hurt someone if they use it often, but it’s not meant to be anyone’s go-to method of birth control for a few reasons: it doesn’t work as well as other forms of birth control, it can get expensive, and it can have some annoying side effects. So if looking for a regular method of birth control, there are many other types that are more effective (and cost effective!). Remember, EC is the only form of birth control a person with a vagina can use after they have already had sex!34
Sometimes people get EC and abortion confused because they don’t realize how they are different. Abortion is the safe ending of a pregnancy, while EC works to prevent a pregnancy from happening. EC is not abortion. It works to protect against pregnancy by stopping the ovary from releasing an egg, and if the egg has already been released, it thickens cervical mucus to block the egg and sperm from meeting. If pregnancy has already happened, it won’t do anything.
Nothing is for everyone, except maybe pizza. A lot goes into the choice to use or not use birth control. Cost, effectiveness, side effects, or values can all influence a person’s choice. Some people may choose to never use birth control, and that’s A-OK! As long as a person feels in control of their choice, it’s the right choice for them. (Also, not every type of birth control can be used by every body, so if you do choose to use birth control, make sure to choose the method that is right for your body.)
Values can come from a person’s religious identity, community, education, family, personal experiences, and so many other influences!
HOW DO I KNOW IF I SHOULD BE USING A MAGNUM [CONDOM]?
While “magnum” really is an awesome name for a condom, regular-size condoms fit most people, fitting snugly on the penis. If a condom is hurting, or if they keep breaking, you may want to try a larger size (like a magnum). Similarly, if condoms keep slipping off, you may want to try a smaller size. For the best protection, do not use a size that is too large (or too small) for you. Make sure you are using the condom you and your body need.
WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS IF I ALWAYS FORGET TO TAKE THE PILL?
It can be hard to remember to take a pill every day, even with an alarm going off to remind you in the middle of breakfast! Great news: there are so many other healthy and effective birth control options that a person doesn’t have to think about daily (like the patch, ring, or shot). If a person wants their method to work for 3-12 years without changing it, they can use a LARC (long-acting reversible contraception) like an IUD or implant.
ISN’T BIRTH CONTROL KIND OF THE GIRL’S RESPONSIBILITY?
Birth control and STI protection is the responsibility of everyone who is having sex, not just one partner. Communicating with your partner about protection is a healthy way to share the responsibility. Even if only one person is using the protection method, both partners should be informed about how it works and what it requires. There are birth control options for all types of bodies, which means that any partner of any gender can use protection. Some partners even choose to share the cost!
CAN YOU USE A BALLOON, TRASH BAG, PLASTIC BAG, SANDWICH BAG, ETC. AS A CONDOM?
No matter what you’ve seen on TV or in a movie, it is not safe to use anything besides a condom as a condom. Balloons, trash bags, sandwich bags, etc., aren’t made for sex. This means they may not be safe or clean for the body, and they won’t protect against pregnancy or STIs. Using latex, polyurethane, or polyisoprene condoms that fit well and are not expired can help prevent pregnancy and STIs. If you can’t afford condoms, many clinics give them away for free!
HOW DOES A COPPER IUD WORK? COULD YOU USE A PENNY INSTEAD?
First things first—do not use a penny as birth control. Gross! Here is some good news: the copper IUD is one of the most effective birth control methods. It works in a few ways. One is that copper is toxic to sperm, making them unable to swim to meet an egg. Another is that the copper makes the mucus in the uterus thicker. Both of these prevent the sperm from being able to reach the egg.
WHAT ARE FLAVORED CONDOMS FOR ?
Condoms can help reduce the spread of STIs, but let’s be real—latex doesn’t taste great. So some people may choose to use condoms with flavoring on them when they have oral sex (in this case, mouth-to-penis sex). Never use flavored condoms during vaginal or anal sex because it can cause irritation.
Yep! Sure is! Hormonal birth control methods can help reduce the amount of blood and the length of someone’s period. In fact, there are some methods, like the implant and hormonal IUD, that can even stop periods altogether in some people. And yes, it’s totally safe. If this is something you are interested in, you should definitely talk to a health care provider first. They can talk you through how to change up your current method, or help you find a new one, as well as talk you through any possible side effects.
I HEARD YOU CAN JUST TAKE YOUR TEMPERATURE INSTEAD OF USING BIRTH CONTROL, IS THAT TRUE?
Well, there is quite a bit more to it than just taking your temperature to prevent pregnancy. The idea is that when a person’s body is getting ready to release an egg, or ovulate, their temperature changes. Taking your temperature is only one part of a birth control method called the “Fertility Awareness Method.” Fertility awareness method is also sometimes called natural family planning, calendar method, rhythm method, or basal body temperature method. The person is monitoring their menstrual cycle (when they have a period, when they release an egg), body temperature, and even hormone levels to figure out when they are most likely to be fertile; by doing so, the person can know when they should avoid sex so they don’t get pregnant. This method can be effective, but it takes a lot of practice and getting to know your body really well!35
WAIT, CONDOMS EXPIRE?
Yep, just like milk expires, so do condoms. All condoms have an expiration date on them. It is important to use them before they expire. Once they expire, they do not curdle like milk, but they can break easier. If you are about to have sex and you notice the condom is expired, the best thing to do is to stop what you’re doing and get another condom. If you don’t have another condom, you can keep making out and just stop before sex happens, or you can stop altogether and do something else—like drink a glass of milk!
It doesn’t matter what g
ender identity or sexual orientation someone is—it’s always important to talk about protection with all sexual partners. Protection can look different for different relationships. Even if people are not worried about pregnancy, using condoms or dental dams can help reduce the risk of STIs. Getting tested for STIs regularly and/or between partners can also help keep people protected.
In Case You're Curious Page 7