by Rosie Green
Isla drops down onto the floor as well, and between us, we hold Mum close as she cries it all out, Isla rubbing her back gently.
There’s an enormous lump in my throat as I murmur to her over and over that it’s all going to be okay . . .
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
After she’s calmed down, we take Mum downstairs and Isla makes some tea while I get her comfy on the sofa and search on the bookshelves for a good old-fashioned Christmas DVD to cheer us all up.
My hand hovers over It’s A Wonderful Life, which was always Mum’s favourite. But it was also Dad’s favourite, so . . . maybe White Christmas would be better . . .
‘Let’s have that Jimmy Stewart film, Jess,’ she says, a smile breaking through at last. ‘Oh, it’s so lovely that you’re both here.’
So I put on It’s A Wonderful Life and we all sit there, totally absorbed in the story. More than a few tears have been shed before the final bars of music sweep to their happy crescendo.
‘Oh, that was lovely.’ Mum dabs at her eyes with a tissue. ‘Just what I needed.’
I can’t help noticing there wasn’t a single ‘Ah, this is your Dad’s favourite movie!’ uttered by Mum while we were watching. Perhaps the good old cry she had was a sign that she’s finally accepted Dad has gone.
‘It’s a shame about you and Martin,’ says Isla. ‘I always liked him.’
I nod. ‘Me, too. But if it’s not right . . .’
Mum smiles fondly. ‘I still love Martin but just as a friend. It was never a grand passion but that’s not everything, is it? It’s nice to have companionship, especially as you get older.’
Isla nods. ‘Jamie and I have split up as well, Mum.’
‘Have you?’ She looks surprised but not as shocked as I thought she’d be. ‘I liked Jamie. He was a nice boy. But I was never sure he was the one for you.’ She gives a mischievous smile. ‘You need someone strong enough to keep you in check, my girl!’
We all laugh at that.
I nudge her. ‘You’re right, Mum. A guy who won’t stand any tantrums or nonsense if she doesn’t get her own way.’
Isla pretends to be shocked. ‘Hey, you two! Watch what you’re saying about me. I’m not that bad, am I?’
I grin. ‘No, you’re not. Just a tiny bit high maintenance, that’s all.’
‘When will the house be finished? I’d like to see it,’ says Mum suddenly, and my face flushes at the indirect mention of Seb.
‘Seb reckons he’ll have it done by Christmas Eve. All painted and spanking new,’ says Isla.
‘Do you have to sell it?’ Mum asks. ‘It’ll be so sad to see it go.’
There’s a collective sigh.
Even Isla looks dispirited, although she replies, practical as ever, ‘We need the money, Mum.’
‘We could rent it out,’ I suggest, ever the compromiser. ‘Then we’d still have an income stream but the house would still be ours.’
‘Where is he working next?’ asks Mum. ‘This . . . Jed, is it?’
‘Seb,’ I say quickly. ‘I’m not sure.’ Even saying his name out loud makes my heart beat faster.
‘I could do with someone in to decorate this house. It’s too much for me to manage.’ Mum turns to me. ‘Do you think Seb would do it?’
My heart sinks. ‘I don’t think he’s working for himself any more, Mum. I think after this he’s going to be chief exec of a building company.’
‘Is he?’ Isla looks surprised. ‘He didn’t mention that when I phoned him the other day about the cottage.’
Hope flares inside me. Maybe he didn’t get the job after all. But then I think of little Bella and I know that whatever happens, someone will be the loser in this sad situation – a situation that I’d do well to remove myself from completely. Not that I even figure in Seb’s life. It’s just there were times when we were at Moondance Cottage together when I really thought . . .
I give my head a little shake. Seb Morgan is in past now. By Christmas Eve, he’ll be gone from my life altogether. I need to forget about him and move forward.
I swallow on the painful lump in my throat.
It’s just that at the moment, I’m not sure I have the strength to forget him . . .
*****
Next day, I’m in The Treasure Box, chatting to Hannah, when she asks me what I’ll be doing on Christmas Day.
‘It’ll just be me and Mum, I think. Unless we can persuade Isla to stay on for Christmas.’
‘Is she going back to France, then?’
I nod glumly. ‘I think so.’
‘D’you know, I haven’t even seen her since she’s been back. Last time I saw her was at Janice’s funeral.’
‘Oh, yes. That was a day and a half,’ I say ruefully.
She nods, grinning. ‘You nearly knocked yourself out on a gravestone. If it hadn’t been for lovely Eddie Watson catching you, goodness knows what would have happened!’
‘It was nice of Eddie to go to Janice’s funeral. Especially since she accused him of knocking her about.’
Hannah laughs. ‘What? Are you joking?’
I shake my head. ‘He was abusing her, apparently. She ran away from him and turned up at the door of Moondance Cottage with no shoes on in the middle of the night. Ages ago now, of course.’
‘Well, that’s the daftest thing I’ve ever heard.’ She frowns at me. ‘Eddie Watson is a sweetheart – far too good for Janice,’ she says stoutly. Her hand flies to her mouth. ‘God, sorry. That was so insensitive of me, Jess. What with everything that’s happened.’ She looks genuinely horrified.
I shake my head. ‘No, it’s fine.’
‘No, but I shouldn’t be speaking ill of the dead like that. Trust me to put my big size nines in.’
‘Hey, don’t worry. It’s actually interesting hearing your opinion of Eddie because Isla heard Janice telling Dad that Eddie nearly killed her.’
Hannah snorts. ‘With kindness, maybe.’
I stare at her puzzled. Why would Janice claim Eddie beat her up if it wasn’t true? It doesn’t make sense. ‘What makes you say Eddie was too good for Janice?’
She hesitates. ‘You and Janice weren’t close, were you?’
I shake my head. ‘Not at all. You can be honest with me.’
‘Well . . . I suppose I never really trusted her. She was just a bit too sly for my liking, flirting with everyone – both male and female – to get in people’s good books. I always thought she had her eye on the main chance.’ She shrugs. ‘But maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps you should speak to the girl Eddie went out with, after he and Janice split up. Erica Soames?’
‘Oh, Erica. She’s lovely. She was in the year below me at school.’
‘That’s her.’
‘Actually, I remember when they broke up. I saw her in the high street, sitting on a bench, crying her eyes out over Eddie because they’d only just split up. I persuaded her she needed a drink and we went to the pub. She had a double brandy, even though it was the middle of the day, and cried on my shoulder.’
‘Aw, bless her,’ murmurs Hannah. She nods. ‘Erica’s lovely. She’ll tell you what Eddie’s really like.’
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
When I arrive at Moondance Cottage the next morning, my heart lurches in my chest at the sight of Seb’s van parked in the driveway.
I’m actually shaking as I get out of the car. I haven’t seen him for the best part of a week and I’m desperate to find out if he got the job. But more than that, I just want to see his smile and hear his voice. (I know. Sad.)
He’s on the phone in the hallway when I let myself in, and the smile of welcome he gives me makes my heart leap. I wander into the kitchen and look in the fridge (which I know is empty), to give me an excuse to linger while he talks. I can tell by the conversation that he’s trying to wrap up his call quickly so he can talk to me before I go over to the studio.
He walks into the kitchen a second later. ‘Jess. Hi. What do you think?’ He glances around him and I suddenly realis
e he means what do I think of the finished kitchen-diner. Amazingly, I’d barely noticed. My mind was on other things . . .
Dutifully, I look around at the brand new room, freshly painted with all new units. ‘It’s great,’ I tell him truthfully. ‘You’ve done a brilliant job.’
He grins. ‘That’s something, coming from you.’
‘Oh, don’t.’ I turn away, wincing. ‘I was so horrible to you back then. I blamed you entirely for Isla’s decision to knock the place into shape.’
His mouth twists wryly. ‘I must admit there were times I felt a sword was hanging over my head. If I put another foot wrong, I’d definitely be for the chop.’
We both chuckle at the memory. And it occurs to me that I’ve come a long way since the early days of the renovation when every change to the old family home was like a knife in my side.
Now, it’s only the thought of never seeing Seb again that brings on the agony . . .
‘Did they offer you the job?’ I ask.
He nods and my heart sinks.
Aleksandra will be delighted. Happy families it is, then.
He leans against the new butler sink and folds his arms, and I have a sudden memory of him holding me in those strong arms, being crushed against his chest, kissing those lips . . . As a feeling of desperate longing surges through my body, my brain suddenly registers what he just said.
‘’I did a lot of thinking and I changed my mind.’
My eyes open wide. ‘You turned the job down?’
He nods. ‘It didn’t seem right to agree to an entire change of lifestyle just because Aleksandra decided it was something she wanted. I’d have been miserable and that would have affected Bella.’
I nod. ‘You have to be true to yourself and Bella will benefit from that. Aleksandra must be able to see that, surely?’
He gives a harsh laugh. ‘Sadly, Aleksandra only thinks about what’s good for Aleksandra. I had to make the decision I did. I was allowing her to pressurise me into taking the job in exchange for my daughter’s company.’ He shakes his head. ‘That’s tantamount to blackmail,’ he says, speaking out loud just what I was thinking but didn’t like to say. ‘I can’t live like that.’
I dread asking, but I have to know. ‘So . . . what will happen now?’
He rubs a hand wearily over his face. ‘She was furious I didn’t take the job. So now she’s threatening to take Bella away - to Australia.’
‘To live there?’ I gasp.
He nods.
Anger surges up inside me at the injustice. ‘Has she given one single thought to her daughter in all of this? I mean, Bella will be heart-broken if she can’t see her daddy.’
Seb sighs. ‘I don’t think Bella’s the focus. It’s me. She wants to punish me for not towing the line and slotting seamlessly into her world of red carpet events, elegant parties and mixing with people whose main aim in life is to be either wealthier or more famous than anyone else.’ He sighs. ‘That’s just not me, Jess. I’m a simple man with simple desires.’
‘But what if she carries out this threat to take Bella away? Will you fight for custody?’
‘I would if I thought I’d succeed. But Alex is the mother. What court is going to take Bella away from her?’
‘It strikes me that you always have Bella’s best interests at heart, but Alex doesn’t. She’s only thinking of herself. Wouldn’t that count with a judge?’
He smiles at me. It’s a smile filled with such affection, my heart seems to falter for a second. He moves a step closer and I breathe in his musky scent. ‘You’re so lovely, Jess. I just wish . . .’
Our eyes meet and hold, and my heart starts to race. Time seems to stand still. We’re locked in a whirl of emotion that takes my breath away, quite literally.
Then Seb growls, shaking his head abruptly. ‘I’ve made my bed. I have to lie in it.’
I swallow. ‘But what will you do? If she takes Bella to Australia?’
‘I’d have no option but to think about emigrating myself, to be near Bella.’ He shrugs. ‘What else can I do, Jess?’
*****
Trying to concentrate on glass-blowing after Seb’s shocking revelation is not easy.
It was bad enough that I might never see him again after he’d finished the job. But at least I’d know he was still living nearby.
But Australia?
We’d be literally oceans apart . . .
I also keep puzzling over what Hannah said about Janice.
I always liked Janice. Dad obviously thought a lot of her and that was good enough for me. The only thing that made me a little uneasy when she first came into our lives was her over-eagerness to befriend Isla and me - the way she let each of us think we were her new best friend. At the time, I thought it was a natural thing to do – she was keen on Dad so obviously she wanted to get on with his daughters. But now I’m wondering: was it all a bit too calculating?
At lunch-time, I get an apologetic phone call from Isla to say she’s locked herself out of the flat, so could I bring my keys along? Quite relieved to get away from the studio for once, I get in the car and drive along to the hotel, where she’s apparently having coffee with her old school friend again. I’m intrigued to see if I recognise this person she keeps on meeting – but when I walk into the hotel and find Isla, she’s sitting alone.
‘Where’s your friend?’ I look around.
‘Just gone. Do you fancy a coffee?’
I sit down at the table with a sigh. ‘Go on, then. An alcoholic drink would hit the spot more accurately but I’d better not.’
Isla frowns. ‘What’s happened?’
I smile grimly and explain about Seb and Bella, and how he might be emigrating to Australia.
‘God, that’s tough. Do you want a glass of wine instead?’
‘No, no. I’ve still got baubles to make. Can you imagine what they’d look like if I was – um – all nice and relaxed?’
She grins. ‘You never know. They might turn out to be works of art.’
Voices at reception make us both turn. It looks as if there’s a change-over of staff. I look closer, recognising the girl with the long blonde hair. It’s Erica Soames, who Hannah was talking about. Eddie Watson’s ex-girlfriend. She seems to be finishing her shift.
‘I’ll just go and order a coffee at reception.’ I stand up. ‘Do you want another one?’
‘Please.’ Isla smiles. ‘You know, I’ve really missed this. Being able to have coffee with my sister any time I like.’
‘Aw, have you?’ I glance at her in surprise, feeling a pang of happiness. It’s not like Isla to admit something like that. But then, the real Isla has been hiding for so long behind a web of lies on Facebook. It’s great that we’re now being so honest with each other . . .
‘Don’t go all mushy on me,’ she warns with a grin.
I make a daft face at her and head for reception, wondering how I’m going to broach the subject of Eddie with Erica?
I order the coffees from Lisa, the receptionist just starting her shift, and as Erica collects her bag from under the desk, I smile at her and ask her how she is. She comes round the desk to talk. ‘I’m great. Life is good.’ She grimaces. ‘I have to apologise for the last time you saw me. I could hardly get my words out, I was so upset at losing Eddie. Even though I knew deep down we’d made the right decision to split.’
I groan. ‘You don’t need to apologise. I know how that feels.’
She frowns. ‘Oh, you as well? I didn’t even know you were seeing someone.’
‘I’m not. But . . . well, it’s complicated.’ I swallow. ‘But Eddie – how is he? Are you two still friends?’
‘Oh, yes. I hope we always will be. He’s such a lovely guy.’
‘He used to go out with Janice, didn’t he? Dad’s girlfriend. I . . . don’t think she was very nice about Eddie in the end.’
She flicks her eyes to the ceiling. ‘Yes, I know. The rumour was she claimed Eddie beat her up.’ She laughs. ‘So ridiculous. Ed
die wouldn’t hurt a fly!’
My heart is beating fast. ‘Yes, I heard that as well. So do you think she was lying?’
She nods. ‘I do. Absolutely. I know I probably shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, but it made me really angry when I heard the rumours about what she was saying about Eddie. Mind you, I could well believe she’d fabricate a story about being attacked, just for her own devious ends, whatever they were.’
‘Really?’ I stare at her in horror. There’s truth in Erica’s expression and in the way she’s talking - although if I’m to believe it all, it’s not a pretty picture . . .
She frowns. ‘Janice had a reputation for being a bit of a fantasist and stopping at nothing to get what she wanted.’ She shakes her head. ‘Eddie was well off out of it. I think he realised fairly soon after he started seeing her that she had problems living in reality. The grass was always greener. She was seeing a married man before she started going out with Eddie, and he was convinced she never broke it off at all.’
My heart lurches. ‘Do you mean Dad?’
Erica looks confused for a second, then her face clears. ‘Oh, no, no. Not your lovely dad.’ She presses my arm, looking distraught I should even think the married man was him. ‘No, this was her old maths teacher. Apparently, she’d had a crush on him for years, since school. He had a wife and kids but she begged him to give her some maths tuition for an exam, and basically seduced him. The stupid man was obviously an idiot. Flattered, I suppose, because Janice was twenty years his junior. But I don’t think he deserved to have his life wrecked.’
‘His wife found out?’
She nods. ‘She chucked him out and he was devastated. I think she’s taken him back now.’ She snorts. ‘He’ll never make that mistake again.’
‘That’s true,’ I murmur, my mind reeling at these revelations about Janice. Did Isla know any of this? Because I certainly didn’t. Mind you, we would probably have been the last to know anyway, considering our close personal connection to her. No-one would gossip to us about her because Janice was our dad’s girlfriend . . .