“It kind of is,” I murmur and kiss his jaw.
“We’ll manage, Summer,” he promises, pushing between my thighs. “I’m sorry I reacted so badly. I feel bad now but… these past few days with you, looking at stupid nursery furniture and cooing over baby clothes, I want this. I want this with you.”
“I want this with you too,” I whisper and let him kiss me. His body molds into my own, our groins connected through the layers of our pants. “I want you, Mason. Not Chris.”
“Then why do you have to go and see him? Can’t you just talk over the phone?”
“I feel like I owe it to him,” I whisper, feeling guilty for putting us all in this situation. “If there’s a way I can navigate this divorce amicably I should try. But know that he’s my past, you’re my future, these babies are my future.”
He kisses the very tip of my nose and scans my face with hopeful eyes. “I’m gonna change, Summer. I’m not gonna be the man I was. I promise. For you three. Give me a chance to prove it to you.”
“I’ll be here waiting when you get back.”
His tongue tangles with mine, tasting me, savoring me. I hum happily and grip his ass with both hands making him grunt.
“You really like doing that don’t you.”
“You’ve got such a great ass,” I murmur, and he chuckles as he kisses me again, this one closed lips. “Besides, I won’t be able to do it soon. I’ll have too much around my middle. We’ll probably have to stick to cowgirl and doggy for a while. Or maybe, like, if I shuffle to the end of the bed, and you kneel on the floor? That could be a good one t… you’re hard.”
“I want to test all of these positions, you know? For future reference.”
I bite my lip, trying to stifle my smile. “Well, if you insist.”
He nips my neck, tickling me half to death. When he pulls back and yanks me to the edge of the bed, he stuffs a cushion under his knees and then looks down at my stomach. “I’m going to miss you getting bigger. When I get back in December, I imagine you’ll have a bit of a bump.” His hands cradle the space that will soon grow.
“I’ll send you daily pictures, I promise.” I place my hands over his. “Can we maybe not tell the others that we’re having twins yet? I want to be one of those weirdos and do a massive gender reveal, but with an added surprise of an extra baby.”
He rolls his eyes, but his lips are smiling. “Whatever you want. If it makes you happy it shall be yours.”
“That’s what I’m talkin’ about.”
“So you just have to sign this,” Maya states, tapping a dotted line with her finger. “And done.”
“Maya, I feel bad signing this because it feels like you’re worried I don’t trust you.”
“That’s not it, it’s so you don’t worry that I’m going to cut you off when you piss me off. Which let’s face it, happens sometimes and vice versa.”
I look into her friendly eyes and shake my head. “I still can’t believe you’re doing this for me.”
“You’re my family, Summer, so is that baby, I’m not going to let you go without.”
“I don’t know how I’ll ever pay you back.”
She taps the dotted line. “You don’t need to, now sign.”
I press the pen to the dotted line and sign to say I’ve seen and agreed to her promise to pay me a monthly allowance until I’m making equal or more than. It’s far more than I’ll ever earn on minimum wage working fifty hours and I feel as though I’m cheating so many low-income families. But Maya does a lot for the community too. She’s helped put dozens of teens through college with scholarships in her late father’s name. She’s funded a wing for the hospital, hosted charity events for overseas projects to help the poor, and for projects here too.
She’s the most generous person I know and I rationalize taking this money by telling myself it’s less than what she spends on shoes and clothing a month.
Still, it’s hard to take.
“I love you, Maya, I never expected this,” I say to her, my eyes filling with tears, something they often do because I’m just an emotional whore bag.
She reaches over and takes my hand. “I paid off the rest of Chris’ mortgage too.”
My breath hitches. Is that what he called me for? “That’s… amazing, Maya.”
“He’s my friend too, kind of, we’ll never be you and me but I care about him and I didn’t want him thinking I’d…”
I know what she wants to say despite the fact her words trailed off. She didn’t want Chris thinking she’d rewarded me for what I did to him because that’s not the case.
“Is that why he called me the other day? We spoke the day before yesterday and he wants me to go over and talk to him about everything.”
Maya shakes her head. “I didn’t tell him what I was doing until yesterday. He tried to refuse but I didn’t give him a choice.”
“You’re the best person I know.”
“You’d do the same for me.”
She’s right. I would. Or I’d like to think I would.
Winking at me, she takes the papers from me and makes me sign a copy, then another, which is going to her lawyer for safekeeping. “So Chris called you?”
She rounds her desk and pulls herself up and onto it while I spin in the chair. I love spinning in chairs, picking a point on the ceiling to lock my eyes onto. It’s relaxing yet thrilling.
I stop, pressing the rubber heel of my sneaker onto the wooden floor.
Nodding with wide eyes, I explain, “Yeah, he started calling me but I had a lot going on. So I ignored it. Then I called him back the day before yesterday… Mason got totally jelly by the way…”
“He did?” Maya wags her brows. “He’s so into you though.”
“Right?” I sigh a little because Mason’s affection toward me is wonderful. I haven’t been this worshipped in years. I hope it never stops. Of course, I treat him the same too. “I could fall in love with him so easily.”
“Don’t rush into that,” she warns.
I shrug and smile brightly. “I can’t help it. He’s just so sweet. And our arguments are fire. The make-up sex is…” I create a circle with my finger and thumb and narrow my eyes. “Multiple orgasms. Multiple. It’s like he’s not happy unless I’m screaming and sweating and just… ugh. He’s amazing, Maya.” Then my smile fades as panic kicks in. “What if I can’t keep him entertained? What if he meets some badass army chick with a six-pack?”
“That’s not going to happen,” Maya reassures me and I face-plant her lap dramatically. “Is this how it starts? Because if you’re going to start humping me like you did Marie…”
I lift my head and glare into her smiling face. “I need you to pat my head and tell me I’m just hormonal.”
She pats my head roughly. “You’re hormonal.”
“You fucking suck.”
Her grin widens and her eyes flash playfully. I roll away from her on the chair when her phone rings and she puts it to her ear.
“Olivia, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Whatever Olivia replies has her throwing her head back and laughing in a way I haven’t heard her laugh in forever. “Dude… you’re kidding? Okay, no problem. See you in an hour then.” She hangs up and looks at me wickedly. “Olivia is going to be late for our date.”
“What happened?”
“You’ll see.”
Maya drives us to a fancy-looking restaurant in the Upper East Side. One I’ve never been to before. It’s on the top floor of a tall building. The elevators are made of full glass. We’re taken to our table and our chairs are pushed in for us.
“Oh how the rich people dine,” I mutter and Maya winks at me and jiggles her boobs. I don’t know why she does this, all I know is it has me choking with laughter in this quiet place.
The waiter, dressed formal and proper, takes our drinks orders and leaves us with a food menu.
“I don’t know what any of this says,” I mumble as my eyes scan the list of foods all in French.
�
�It’s okay, I’ll order for you. Do you want chicken, lamb, beef, or veg?”
“Lamb?”
“Good choice.” She checks her phone and nods as though whoever texted her can see her. “So, while we wait for Olivia, tell me about Chris.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. Mason asked me not to see him, but I think if I can keep this divorce as clean as possible that’ll be a win.” I place my menu on top of hers and run my fingers over the white lace tablecloth. “What do you think?”
“I think you need to speak to Chris face to face, if that’s what he’s asking. He’s done nothing to deserve being shafted.”
I nod my agreement. “That’s how I feel. If he’s ready to talk, I’m ready to listen.”
“What will you do if he wants to get back together?” She thanks the waiter when he places our drinks in front of us and tells him our food order, she orders for Olivia too which means she must be close.
“That’s not going to happen, I’m pregnant with another man’s baby.”
“It’s definitely Mason’s right?”
I glare at her. “Have you been talking to him?”
“No,” she promises, widening her eyes. “I wouldn’t do that. I just… wanted to rule out the possibility of it being Chris’.”
“I was on the pill while I was with Chris, and I got my period.”
“Are you sure?” I blow out a breath of frustration and she laughs. “It’s like being in a TV show. I love it.”
“Thank you for loving the fact I might not know who the father is,” I mutter petulantly. I know she’s only playing but the fact still sucks. “I was on the pill and I got my period the week before I came to your place.”
“How many weeks between when you slept with Chris and then Mason?”
I level her with another look but then my face falls. “Like, thirteen days, maybe?”
“And there’s no way you slept with Chris after your last period?”
I’m about to say no but then my vision blurs and panic grips my chest. My hand flies to my mouth and I squeak a noise of absolute horror. “Oh my God!”
“What?” Maya places her hand over my trembling one. “What is it?”
“We did, we had sex… oh my God, Maya, we had sex. He got in late, the night before I told him about what happened with Mason. I felt guilty because I knew what I was gonna do to him and I didn’t want to say no. I wanted one last time with him. I was drunk. I completely forgot. But it was only one day after my period ended. It’s impossible. I wouldn’t have been ovulating. I’d taken my pill… There’s no way… is there?”
Her eyes widen. “Please tell me you’re joking?”
I shake my head, suddenly feeling nauseous. How could I forget about that? I did drink a lot of wine but… oh my God.
“But then, that puts it at eight days,” I hiss. Doubt floods my entire body and my chest constricts so I can’t breathe. “What if they’re not Mason’s? What if they’re Chris’? Oh my God, Maya, what do I do?”
“Just breathe.” She strokes my back. “Just breathe, Summer. We’ll figure this out.”
“I want to die,” I whisper, bringing my glass to my lips with a trembling hand. The apple juice tastes like liquid ash. “I took my pill. I took my pill.” I level her with a look. “I took my pill, Maya. I remember. They can’t be Chris’.”
“You keep saying they…”
I cover my face with my hands. “We were supposed to be keeping it a secret until the gender reveal. But… I’m having twins.”
She lets out a short burst of a scream and slams her hands on the table making all of the cutlery jump and clatter. “WHAT?”
People look our way, unhappy at the noise but she pays them no mind.
“Yeah, we found out yesterday. It was a… shock.”
“I bet,” she mumbles, shaking her head with disbelief. “So they’ve got to be Mason’s. Twins run through his family like monkeys through a jungle.”
Huh?
“What if they’re fraternal twins? That’s got nothing to do with him and everything to do with me.”
She suddenly releases a bark of laughter. “Oh my God, what if one is Chris’ and one is Mason’s?”
“That’s not funny!”
“What’s not funny?” Olivia asks, seeming to appear out of nowhere. Damn it, she’s so beautiful. And she has a Coachella purse! The exact one I wanted. I could cry.
Maya looks at me and smirks. “I can’t say, it’s not my story to tell.” She stands and hugs Olivia before Olivia’s seat is pushed in and we’re all sitting. “Speaking of stories, show us the damage.”
Olivia lifts her huge sunglasses up and onto her head and then lifts her dark bangs from her eyebrows. Or lack thereof.
“Oh my God,” I whisper and look closely at her painted-on brow. It’s only half of it but it is missing despite her excellent skills. “What happened?”
“Loryn’s new beauty tech happened. It’s safe to say Loryn fired her.”
Maya laughs into her fist. “I can’t believe she waxed off half your brow.”
“Yeah, half of my eyebrow. I was livid.” Her British accent is so endearing. I think I might have a girl crush on her. “It hurt so bad. I was genuinely about to hit the girl, but she started crying and I felt crappy.”
“Crappy?” They don’t hear me.
“You can hardly tell though,” Maya says kindly when Olivia drops her bangs.
“I don’t believe you but thanks all the same.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I’m pregnant and I’ve just figured out that I’m not sure who the father is.”
Olivia blinks once and her lips part. “Bugger. Are you okay?”
“Nope. Because now I’ve got to go home and tell Mason that yesterday when I told him I was positive, I spoke too soon.”
Olivia clasps my hand with French-tipped fingers. “Is there a paternity test you can do before the birth?”
“I’m sure there’s one you can get done at eleven weeks,” Maya reassures me. “You’re not far off.”
I sigh gravely. “I suppose that’s an option. I’ll look into it, but if it’s invasive it’s not happening.” I drain the rest of my drink, wishing it was vodka, while I look at the lace pattern of the tablecloth wishing it had all the answers. “This sucks. I’m sorry, I’ve brought the mood down.”
“Not at all,” Olivia reassures me but I’m anything but. “Must you tell him now? Perhaps wait until you have the results?”
“It seems cruel letting him think he’s having babies that he’s not having.”
“It’s not an easy situation that’s for sure.”
Maya nods her agreement. “Whatever happens, Summer, you have us.”
“Whose do you want them to be?” Olivia asks and I hadn’t even considered that question until now.
My jaw drops and my eyes haze over as I think about it.
I mean, I hardly know Mason, I don’t know what kind of man he is, what kind of father he’ll be. He’s good to me now but will he be in say two years?
Chris, I know Chris, I know he hasn’t been great to me in the past but I know him. I know his character and I know he’ll be an excellent father.
It would be easier and safer if they were Chris’ because we’re already married, but then I’d be trapped in a relationship that doesn’t make me happy.
Mason makes me happy, but Mason might be fleeting.
“Oh shit,” Maya whispers into her own glass and clicks her fingers at the waiter. “I’m gonna need a bottle of wine for this conversation.”
“Me too,” Olivia agrees, her hand still on mine.
“Chris is the safe choice, but Mason… Mason is… he’s incredible.”
“So was Chris in the beginning.”
“Exactly,” I breathe and blow a breath through puckered lips to calm myself. “I’m with Mason now. I made my choice. But he’s going to leave me when I tell him.”
“Then don’t tell him, not yet, you’ve only got t
hree weeks left,” Maya says firmly.
“And then what?” I ask, feeling guilty and nauseous at the thought of not being honest with Mason. “Mason will be away, which means Chris will have to provide the DNA sample, which means I have to tell Chris, and Chris might tell Mason so he’ll find out anyway.”
Our food is placed in front of us, followed by a bottle of wine that I can’t drink.
“I really fucked up, Maya, I really fucked up.”
“No,” she snaps, glaring at me. “You didn’t fuck up. Whatever Mason feels he has no right to be angry with you purely because the pregnancy is happening to your body. He chose to have sex with you so close to you leaving home. He chose to not double-check that you were protected. He knew you were in a relationship with somebody else recently. This situation is as much his fault as it is yours. Now…” She squeezes my fingers. “Stop letting their reactions fuck with your happiness. Whatever happens, you have a family, you have money, you have us. The fathers can get pissy amongst themselves, but I’ll not allow them to get pissy with you.”
“He’s leaving in a few days for Kenya,” I say sadly. “And I’m saddling him with all of these worries. He took me into his home thinking I’m having his babies and now chances are they might not be his.”
“Babies?”
“I’m putting money on the fact they are, which is why I don’t think you should say anything right now,” Maya states and maybe she has a point. “The chances of you getting pregnant that close to your period is slim to none. Mason’s sex puts you on the right date for ovulation, not to mention the fact you were protected while having sex with Chris and not while having sex with Mason. They’re twins, Mason’s family has a hundred sets of twins in it. Chris’ doesn’t.”
Another great point.
“From that deduction,” Olivia puts in. “They’re ninety-nine percent Mason’s and I don’t think you should worry.”
“I mean are you even sure you had sex with Chris? Maybe you’re conjuring a memory or getting muddled?”
I look at my food, a lamb shank sitting on a bed of mashed potatoes. It looks appetizing but I’m not sure I can eat. “Maybe you’re right.”
“I am right,” Maya states and takes a bite of her chicken. “Trust me. Summer. You’re getting worked up and it’s not needed. Don’t say anything. You don’t need to. Those babies are Mason’s.”
A Little Bit of Guilt: Little Bits #5 Page 15