by E A Lake
I remembered high school graduation and the party our class had afterwards. Somehow, someone snuck some booze in — some kind of cheap strawberry-flavored wine — and a bunch of us got drunk. I remember the acrid stench as Tony puked and puked outside afterwards as I held him erect so he wouldn’t fall into the rather large puddle of vomit.
I remembered how excited I was — we were — on our first day at the University of Indiana. We were men, finally. We were focused and we knew what we wanted out of life. Our studies came first, women and parties later. We had a plan; we were going to be successful.
I remembered how lucky I felt when I caught the eye of the most beautiful woman I’d ever met. I remembered how rapidly my heart beat as I asked Carla Lampler out the first time, how I nearly lost my breath when she said yes.
I remembered graduating college and then going into business with Tony, all on a loan from his grandparents. I remembered how hard we worked and how success didn’t come easily. There were many, many long hours and lots of hard work.
I remembered my wedding day, our wedding night, and how gorgeous Carla was. Tony toasted us with expensive champagne, tearing up when he spoke of his love for me. I was the brother he never had, and he was the same for me.
I remembered the first house Carla and I bought. Mowing the small lawn was my only form of relaxation at that time. Carla was just finishing her law degree. Her father helped us in every way he could, though I knew he wasn’t very fond of me.
And with that last memory, my jaw dropped open. I remembered the nice family down the block and their two dark-haired daughters. I remembered.
CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-ONE
I shook my head as tears filled my eyes. Sasha was the quiet one back then; Sara was giggly and outgoing. They would sometimes stop by and chat with me as I cleaned my garage or a car. They were sweet, they were cute and they were everything right with the world.
I remembered Sara’s friend Alivia. I recalled her braces, her long skinny form and how her knees nearly touched she was so gangly. Her long dark hair that hung to her waist at times. She was shy, but sweet I could tell. When she did speak to me, which was rare, it was always in a near whisper.
I covered my mouth in the darkness as I recalled seeing young Morgan for the first time. She wasn’t the cute one and unlike the others, her hair was a lighter color. She had freckles back then. She too was skinny, though taller than Liv. And even back then, she was mouthy and opinionated.
I remembered when Sara fell and got all scuffed up. I’d been on my way home from work and was the first on the scene. The three others stood over her and I took her into my arms as she bled from her chin, elbows and knees, and dashed her home to her mother.
I remember Carla being pissed I’d bloodied my brand new white shirt. My tie was ruined as well. I needed to use my head, she said; simply walking her home would have been just as acceptable. And I remembered thinking how callused her attitude was back then.
And I remembered how Morgan went on and on about how I was the nicest man she’d ever met. When she stopped by the next day, she said that I was the kind of man women dreamt of. She was maybe 12 or 13 at the time; just old enough to be a young lady but too young to realize speaking her mind like that made me blush and feel a little uncomfortable.
I recalled Tony and me hatching a better plan for our business. It would require hard, long hours. He had the advantage of being single. Carla wasn’t sure at first, but as we became profitable in our first year, she was all about the business. The money was good — hell, it was great, but the hours did suck.
I shook briefly in bed as I remembered a beautiful, tiny girl with dark eyes and a broad smile. Charolette Weber was in my past. I even hugged her once at one of the Christmas parties. Her father was a little drunk. He was a good man and I wondered if he was still alive.
I remembered Sara’s wedding and then Sasha’s. I was drunk at the first and had danced far too close to a beautiful young woman who told me she thought I was the most perfect man alive. I remembered being flattered, perhaps a little turned on. And then Carla showed up in my swimming vision and pulled me away from a nearly crying 20-something. Needless to say, I didn’t have much to drink at the following wedding.
I covered my mouth and let out a shallow breath as I recalled so many things. But not all of them were good.
CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-TWO
I remembered how we lost everything. We were in a bad place; I was in a terrible place.
Tony told me one morning that the FDA was going to come in for an audit and we were probably going to be shut down. Everything we’d worked for over the past 10 years would be gone after they finished with us. We did DNA testing and he was almost positive they’d find something wrong with our methods. But I didn’t know anything about the actual process. I was the business manager; he ran the lab.
I knew our company was worth about 10 million dollars as an ongoing entity. If we got shut down, there’d be less than half a million dollars left for us to split. It wasn’t a pretty time.
As the audit drew nearer, things became more and more contemptuous between Carla and me. We were about to lose a ton of money, she ranted. I had to do something. I went to Tony – he was my best friend after all – seeking his advice. He agreed to meet with Carla and talk it over. Maybe together, their minds could come up with a plan.
I was burnt out, in hindsight. I didn’t go to work much after that. Carla and Tony met night after night, hammering out a deal. If I had only known what kind of hammering they were really doing, I might have been free of her several years before she left. Tony made her a deal alright; a deal that they would enjoy at least.
I received a severance package of $250,000 when I left the company several weeks later. Carla called me a wimp, though she had agreed with Tony on most of the details. Tony kept the company and was going to do all he could to keep it open. Even if the FDA audit came back bad, he’d try to find a way of keeping our people employed. I simply didn’t care at that point.
Three months later, well after the audit, I heard the news. Shocking news. Tony Shaklin had sold our company to one of the major pharmaceutical companies for a reported $20,000,000. I’d been had, and was devastated. And how did my wife react? She laughed at me and left for a two-week trip with some girlfriends. Thinking back, Tony was out of town about the same time as well. I was stupid and depressed. I was an idiot in every way possible.
Morgan and I had become closer the year before the end of my business days. Too close, I suppose. She had been an apprentice at work the summer before and I took her under my wing. I knew it was a bad idea but didn’t care. Carla had become a cold, money-grubbing cheat who spoke about Tony as if he were a god and referred to me as a lazy oaf. I was ready for something else.
It was causal at first, but not for long. After Tony swindled me and Carla lost her shit over it, Morgan knew my marriage was crumbling and still thought I was the best thing on two legs. She was never conventionally beautiful, yet I still found her attractive beyond all other women. Plus, she was smart and usually very sweet.
I chuckled as I recalled how she could sting a person with her words, even back then. It was after the second or third time we’d made love that she turned on me quickly when I gave her a soft attitude about getting divorced. She knew what she wanted and thought she knew what was best for me.
“If you’re just using me,” she spouted, covering her thin body with a sheet, “Then I’m just your whore. And I don’t want to be a whore to any man, even you. If this isn’t going anywhere, then it has to end. You’ll destroy me if you just keep using me. You have to make up your mind.”
I pled with her for a little more time, but she wouldn’t budge. The truth was that I dearly loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. With the exception of being married to Carla, there was no reason we couldn’t be happy.
“When I get back from my vacation,” she’d said bitterly, “you need to let me know
where we stand. I want to be with you forever, Quinn. But this can’t continue. It’s not fair to me, it’s not fair to Carla, and it certainly isn’t fair to you. You deserve to be happy above all else. Whether it’s with me or some other woman, your happiness is paramount to me.”
That convinced me on the spot. Morgan was willing to let me go and find someone else if it meant me being happy. She loved me so much, I knew; and I loved her even more.
I told her that night that when she returned from her vacation with her friends, I’d be ready to start a new life with her. I’d file for what I was sure would be an ugly divorce from Carla and we could start fresh. We loved each other more than I ever thought possible. She truly wanted to make me happy, and didn’t care if I was rich or poor. Her feelings for me were purer and sincerer than anything Carla had ever expressed.
We belonged together. It was so easy to see that we were meant to be. And once she got back and I had the guts to file the divorce papers, we would be. Forever.
Then came the beginning of the end, and I lost all hope.
CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-THREE
I sat there in the darkness, fighting back waves of grief that rocked me to my soul. If only another week had passed, before the event that hot August night that changed our world so much, everything would have been different. I would have found the courage to tell Carla I was leaving and begin my new life with Morgan.
Carla knew that Morgan and I were having an affair. The young woman and I spent far too much time together for it to be anything other than what it was. But she never asked and I most certainly never told. Little did I know, at that time — right before the end, that she and my supposed best friend were having a similar relationship.
If only I would have been with Morgan at the time, I believed my life would have turned out differently. At least that’s the way I saw it when my memory returned. Sure, she and I may still have moved to Pimento, but chances were I would have never become sheriff. No, an angry Quinn Reynolds took that job; a happier one would have just moved on — along with his new wife — when the other lawmen met their fates in gun battles.
I mourned for what could have been. Seven years of happiness together would have been so much better than the lonely pain I endured. Morgan would have found a way to keep me happy, keep me focused on the better days ahead. Carla just made me angry as the horrid days passed, and in the end, left me with four years of seething misery.
I began to cry, softly at first, then quickly intensifying. I hated myself for what I had become and I blamed Carla equally in my demise. I killed people. It was true that I had never taken someone’s life who hadn’t deserved it. However, my anger with my wife and what the world had become made it easy.
I felt a stirring in the bed next to me and suddenly a pair of arms encircled my shoulders and chest.
“What is it, Quinn?” Morgan asked with a tinge of fright in her voice. “Did you have a bad dream? What’s wrong? Please tell me.”
It took a moment before I could compose myself to reply. By the time I was ready, I knew exactly what to say.
“I remember,” I uttered, fighting back tears.
“What do you remember?” she asked hurriedly, hugging me tighter.
“I remember everything,” I cried. “I remember my parents, Belinda, my grandmas and grandpas. I remember the house I grew up in. I remember Sasha and Sara as girls. I even remember Charolette. I remember Tony and Carla. I remember when the old world died and how dark everything became. I remember the face of each and every person I’ve had to kill.”
Morgan began to cry. “It’s finally back…your memory is finally back. You should be happy, not sad though.”
I shook my head and wiped away the last of my tears. “That’s the problem. I remember everything, Morgan. I remember how miserable I became, how bitter I was. I was so pissed off at the world that all I ever saw was the worst of everyone and everything. I could have been a better man. I could have been a decent person. If only…if only…”
“If only what, Quinn?” she asked breathlessly. “If only what?”
I turned and hugged her tightly.
“The thing I remember the most,” I whispered, kissing her hair. “The thing I missed the most was you. I loved you so much.”
Morgan began to weep in earnest, her body shaking with each sob. “And do you think you still love me?”
“That’s the only thing that has never changed,” I replied, squeezing her as tightly as I could. “I looked for you each and every day since you left. And though I didn’t know it when I came to last month, I found you. I finally found you. And now…” I fought back the next round of tears. “Now I can finally be whole again.”
CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FOUR
At first, back at the end, no one knew what had happened. We just assumed the power would be back on within a day or two. I don’t recall how we thought our transportation would magically come back to life, but once it did, we’d all get our cell phones fixed as well. Wow, were we ever stupid.
“I remember the next morning,” I told a crowd at breakfast that morning. Good news traveled fast and all of my other friends — new and old — were anxious to revel in my tales. “People were upset, but not that upset. Whatever had happened was going to be fixed quickly, we figured.”
“Everyone thought that at the time,” Sara added. “We just needed to give the grid a few days to come back up and everything was going to be just fine.”
But it wasn’t fine. Not ever again.
“Terre Haute was okay for a while,” I continued. “Into the first winter and all. But that next spring, anarchy ruled supreme. The shit rose to the top and the good people left in droves. Carla and I made it until about fall. After that, we headed to Pimento. She had an aunt down here and she was sure it would be better there than in a big city.”
“Was it?” Charolette asked while scanning the walls for spiders or cobwebs or whatever she feared that moment. “I left Terre Haute that first fall with a friend. Food and water were low and we figured we’d find work somewhere in the country. You know, make it a little easier for my folks.” Her face went sour. “Boy, was that ever a mistake.”
“Pimento was okay,” I answered. “It just had the bad luck of being the crossroads for every piece of road scum out there. After Shaklin came and took Carla — or should I say, she left willingly with him…” The group rolled their eyes collectively at that statement. “Sheriffs started to die. After the third one, they had a town meeting and asked if there was a volunteer to take the job. I was in such a dark place that I figured I was better off dying in a gunfight than living in the hell had become my life.”
Morgan looked at me funny, as if she was confused. “But you didn’t. That’s what doesn’t make much sense to me.”
“I’d never been much for guns,” I replied. “Hell, I’d never shot a gun in my life, much less shot one at a person. But I did hours and hours of target practice after I took the job, and wouldn’t you know it; I was kind of a natural they said. When the first shoot-out happened, my fight-or-flight instincts kicked in and I fought. Remember, I wasn’t scared of dying. But I quickly found out most people were. I want you all to know something though; I never killed unjustly. The only lives I ever took were of those who had it in to harm others or kill me.”
“We know that, Quinn,” Liv laughed. “You’re way too sweet to be mean.”
Tell that to all the people I’d killed.
“When Morgan’s note arrived a little less than two months ago, I thought all my prayers had been answered.” I paused, trying to recall the trail that had taken me to Shaklin’s farm. “The problem was, I didn’t understand the threat that waited for me there. I thought I’d just walk in, tell him I was taking the four of you and leave without an issue.”
“Boy, you messed that up,” Morgan groaned. “Maybe I wasn’t clear enough, but nothing could have been further from the truth.”
“True that, sister,” Sasha adde
d with a grin. “You nearly got yourself killed, Quinn. This would have had a whole different ending if that had happened.”
She was right; however, that wasn’t how it went down. I did live, we did escape that place and we were here, safe and sound. Well, sort of.
“I think I know where I might be able to round up some help to go and free the others,” I said confidently. “I’ve got an old friend over near Center Point and he has a lot of influence.”
I rose and headed for the kitchen to wash my hands clean of breakfast.
“Well, sooner rather than later,” Sasha replied. “Center Point is 25 miles east of here, so you’re going to lose another day. I’ve got a bad feeling about the others. I don’t know why, but something is really bothering me about them.”
Ah, Sasha and her anxiety. She needed to have faith in all of us. We’d get the job done and hopefully sooner rather than later.
CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-FIVE
I decided to wait until the next morning before leaving for Center Point to see my old friend Coy Rawlings. Actually, Morgan decided I should wait and convinced me that she was right by following me around, scolding me about rushing into things too quickly. Turned out she was right; mostly because a violent thunderstorm rocked our piece of paradise that afternoon. As for letting my head clear up further, I was thinking as clearly as a post-brain injury person could.
Art and I left just after breakfast, but not before arranging proper protection and overseeing for my friends. It would have been just like Shaklin to have someone watching me and just when I’d left, they’d swoop in and grab his property to return to his place. So, we put all five of the women over at Ronnie’s place with Petri and Cooley with a guard outside while Ronnie and his wife kept everyone safe inside.