Ursula shrugged. "It might not be so bad. After all, what girl doesn't want to be a Queen?" The tears continued to fall, and he wrapped his arms around her.
"My darling."
"No," she said into his shoulder. "Don't be kind. Be angry. Hate me."
"How can I hate you? Could I hate springtime and sunshine?"
"It would be easier for you if you did. You could go off and forget me. Find another, more faithful woman."
"There will never be another woman for me. You may be Queen of Heyton and married to King Killian, but in my heart, you will always belong to me."
The carriage master stepped up to them. "Margrave, we must leave now if you want to make it to the ship in time."
Ursula pulled out of his arms. "Go. Be a glorious success. Know you take my heart with you."
She saw a tear run down his cheek, but he kissed her one last time and was gone.
Chapter 14
"You don't have to do this." Mariana stood in front of her sister, dressed in full royal regalia. She straightened the short veil that hung over Ursula's face. "I'm sure we could still find—"
Ursula cut her off. "No. You heard what Gideon said. It could be years before the King gets around to releasing the prisoners, even if you did pay whatever ransom he asked for. This is the price. I'll pay it."
"But, my darling, I don't want to force you into something."
"You're not, Mari. I'm choosing to do this." Ursula sighed. From the moment she saw George Evan climb into that carriage, something inside her died. She couldn't feel anything.
She hadn't felt sad when the carriage rolled away.
She hadn't felt happy her mother was lucid enough to recognize her when she visited the former King and Queen that morning.
She hadn't even felt relieved when Traren and the Protocol Secretary told her the wedding would be held in Mariana's office instead of the chapel.
She'd felt nothing. It was as though all her emotions died when she made the decision to do her duty to the kingdom rather than to her heart.
Maybe that was a blessing. If she didn't have to feel, she could be the kind of Queen Heyton needed. She could see the prisoners were released, and give Killian the heir he needed.
"Let's go, Mari," she said, not looking at her sister. "Shouldn't you be in your office?"
"Probably," the Queen said, but Ursula heard her sniffle. "If you're sure you want to do this."
"I don't have a choice."
"You..."
"No, Mariana." Now Ursula glared her sister. "I don't. Don't tell me otherwise, and don't try to talk me out of this. I am a Princess of Valborough. I was raised to put the good of the kingdom above all, as you were. If things had been different, and Ramone had taken the throne after Father, he would have abdicated for me. He told me that, and you know it, too. If I'd been Queen, I would know I was doing the best I could for the kingdom, but I'm not. This is the only thing I know to do that will serve the people."
"The schools..."
Ursula cried, "You're not listening. I have to do this. I have to. George Evan is gone, the schools can't help enough, and those men are being beaten, maybe tortured. I can stop it."
Now the Queen swallowed and nodded, straightening her spine and looking into her sister's eyes. "Of course. I'm sorry, Ursula. You're right." She kissed the Princess's cheek and left the dressing room.
A moment later, Grand Sahdeer Jonathan, Ursula's father, came into the dressing room. The former King seemed smaller than he had when he sat on the throne. He'd lost weight in the past year, and his old military uniform, complete with the beadwork in the shape and color of his nickname, the Black Knife, was loose around his middle. His hair, once a deep brown, had dulled and begun to turn gray, but when he watched her, his eyes were as warm and loving as they ever had been.
It was his fault she was in the situation. If he'd ransomed the prisoners back when the war was over, she would, right now be married to George Evan, probably even the mother of his child.
She should be angry at him. She should tell him to leave and go back to Mother, who had lost her desire to live in this reality when Mariana confronted them with what they'd done to her, to all of them.
Ursula should do all those things, and in her head, she knew it, but in her heart, she felt nothing. It was too late to change anything, and yelling or crying wouldn't release the prisoners nor turn the ship George Evan was on back to the harbor.
No. The road she was on was the one she had to stay on, and why should she make her father sadder than he was in the life his actions had led to? Would more misery in the world make her feel anything other than resignation?
She faced her father. "Mother didn't come, did she?"
"You look so beautiful," he said. "I wish she could see you." He lifted the veil and kissed her cheeks. A spark of irritation burst into life.
"Why didn't you bring her with you? Is it Mariana? Does she still hate the Queen so much she couldn't come to the palace to see her last daughter wed?" Her voice sounded sharp to her own ears but what did she have to lose now?
"Ursula, my child," he said. "Your mother is ill."
She turned away under the pretense of examining her reflection. "My mother is angry and bitter. Even now, she holds on to the resentment that Ramone is not King. She can't even love any of us because her hate for Mariana is too strong."
"Please be gentle with her. I—"
Ursula spun around. "I am leaving Valborough, Father. Marrying a man as old as you are for the good of this kingdom. Your kingdom. I am getting married, and I hoped on this one day, she could put her anger at you and Mariana aside long enough to wish me well." She straightened. "I don't have it in me to feel anything but sorrow for us all. You be gentle with her. I can't."
Without another word to her father, she lifted the front of the heavily embroidered and beaded satin skirt and walked out of the dressing room.
George Evan stood on the deck of the ship, watching the captain instructing the deckhands on the loading of the cargo. Suddenly, a trio of women in white, blue, and green robes approached the captain. They all spoke together but George Evan couldn't hear what they were saying.
Suddenly, the captain waved to his men, who all put down what they were carrying, slapped each other on the backs, and hurried away from the dock.
The captain strode up the gangplank and to George Evan's side.
"Those were Storm Wizards," the older man said. "Water, Earth, and Air Sensitives who watch the weather out on the oceans. They are telling the captains that there is a heavy thunderstorm building directly in the path of where we are to sail. If we leave on schedule, there is a chance of running into it."
He shook his head. "I can't risk it, your grace. It would be better if we waited a few days."
"A few days?" Ursula's face filled George Evan's mind. Gossip about her upcoming marriage had followed him to the ship, and he believed that today was the day. "Do I have time to get back to the palace and back?"
"If you can make it in three days."
"Is there a place I can rent a horse?"
"Of course."
Before the captain finished explaining how to get to the stable, George Evan was already running toward the town.
Mariana stood behind her desk with an Elemental priest and Kylan, Abilities Tester and Trainer. As the one man in the kingdom who could verify the identity and abilities of anyone, he was required to attend in order to attest that Ursula was who she said she was.
Seeing him made her want to cry, given all she had been through at his hands in the Challenge and the events leading up to it.
Still, though, even though she knew she should hate, or at least resent him for not revealing the truth about Mariana from the beginning and saving them all a lifetime of deception and, ultimately, pain, she dismissed him from her thoughts. He was nothing more than another person who would witness her speaking vows to her faux groom.
Prince Gideon and his friend and valet, Lord Dashie
ll, stood in front of the desk, to Ursula's right as she entered the office. The Prince wore a copper-colored jacket trimmed with gold braid down the front and matching breeches that were fastened just below his knees with silk ribbons. Black stockings disappeared into riding boots that had been polished to a high shine. He leaned on a cane, as he always did, but this one was made of dark wood and decorated with carvings of birds and fish appearing to dance on ocean waves.
He wore a golden coronet, and for the first time since she met him, she could see a prince, rather than an angry young man. In any other circumstance, she would have to admit Prince Gideon presented a handsome picture as he watched her approach.
Suddenly, she saw George Evan standing in the place where Gideon stood. Of course, their wedding would have been held in the chapel with all their families present and full royal ritual and ceremony.
She was the Royal Princess of Valborough, Heir Presumptive of the Throne, and she was getting married in the Queen's office when she deserved all the celebration her brother and sister received. This was not how she imagined her wedding or her life.
Everything about this was wrong, but it had to continue.
He prayed he wasn't too late.
All through the ride, as he urged the horse to run faster, as his heart kept pace with the pounding of the animal's hooves on the road, George Evan had asked himself what he intended to do.
Even if he made it to the palace before Ursula said her vows to King Killian's proxy, what did he expect to happen?
Did he think she would throw aside all her responsibilities and honor to run away to Gredia with him? The Ursula he knew would never do such a thing.
He'd fallen in love with her twice.
Once, before the truth of Mariana's parentage and Chaos Sensitivity had been revealed, he'd fallen in love with the bright, happy, carefree daughter of the King. Ursula had been the beautiful Princess every nobleman who was unmarried wanted to dance with at any ball.
She had stolen his heart when she agreed to dance with him, not once, but twice, at her mother's birthday celebration. Three dances told society a couple was contemplating marriage, but two meant the lady would consider taking the relationship past friendship.
He hadn't been the only man she'd danced with twice that night, but he was the one she walked through the garden with. She'd even let him kiss her cheek before he took her back inside the ballroom.
That kiss was enough to keep him smiling for days. Although he'd always thought she was beautiful, and he wanted to spend time with her, never had he even allowed himself to imagine she felt that way about him.
He couldn't afford to be as extravagant in gifts or signs of affection as her other suitors, nor were his inheritance prospects something to be envied. Why she had wanted to be with him was a mystery, but it was one he was willing to leave alone for fear that questioning too much would burst the lovely bubble of dreams he'd built up around her.
Later, after Mariana was named Queen, Ursula's brightly burning personality dimmed into something more serious. She'd learned that her parents had lied to all their children and the kingdom.
She'd learned that her father was not the kind of King he claimed to admire, the kind of noble he wanted his children to be. When he'd been willing to let Mariana and Orlando be killed to keep himself on the throne, Ursula withdrew from the rest of her family out of fear and grief.
It was only about eight months later when she turned into a true noble Princess, working to improve the lives of families whose fathers and husbands were still prisoners in Heyton.
That was when he fell in love with her for the second time, but this time, he knew that the feelings were more than the adolescent infatuation from before. If an Elemental Priest told him that Ursula mystically had his heart in her possession, George Evan would have believed it without hesitation.
As he pushed the horse toward the palace, now faintly in sight in the distance, he still didn't know what he expected or even wanted to happen when he saw her again.
She would never put her own feelings ahead of the needs of the kingdom, but maybe King Killian's proxy would see that she belonged to George Evan and let her go with his blessing.
Holding onto that improbable thought, he dug his heels into the side of the horse.
He was almost there. He had to make it.
"Due to the circumstances, we won't be going through the whole wedding ritual," the Elemental Priest said. "The relevant parts are the vows, which Princess Ursula will say for herself and Prince Gideon will speak on behalf of his uncle, King Killian of Heyton." He looked at the two of them and smiled. "Will you join hands?"
"Is that strictly necessary?" Gideon asked.
Ursula stared at him. Was he so averse to her that even this small touch, given she wore gloves, was abhorrent?
"It is part of the ceremony," the priest said.
Gideon sighed and took her hand. She felt tears welling up, and she bit the inside of her cheek. It was stupid for her to cry because this awful man didn't want to touch her. But she knew the tears were for it all, the loss of everything she dreamed for her life. Reminding herself other people's lives would be improved by her actions today didn't stop the pain that now started in the center of her being.
Why now, when she was resigned to being numb forever, did she have to feel something?
The priest was talking, but she'd missed some of his words.
There was a buzzing in her ears that sounded like people arguing right outside the door of the office. She caught Mariana’s glance in that direction and saw one of the guards hurry that way.
Gideon answered, "I promise, in the name of King Killian of Heyton, to care for and honor Princess Ursula of Valborough."
He released her hand and signed his name to the bottom of a parchment scroll that lay on the desk. Then he handed the pen to the priest and took hold of Ursula's hand again.
"Princess," the priest said, smiling at her. "Will you repeat after me? I, Ursula of Valborough, do promise—"
The arguing outside the office grew louder, and the door flew open, causing her to turn around.
George Evan, his clothes dusty and mud splattered, stumbled in as Merec grabbed for his sleeve.
"You can't go..." The butler's voice trailed off as George Evan was already in the office.
"It's fine, Merec," Mariana said. The butler nodded, but stayed where he was.
"Margrave," the Queen continued, "we thought you were on your way to Gredia."
Ursula's heart pounded against her ribs.
He was here. Had he come to rescue her? She wanted to go to him, but Prince Gideon continued to hold her hand, tightening his grip to keep her in her place.
"Storm Wizards told the captain that we were going to run into a storm. He delayed the trip for three days." George Evan turned toward Ursula. "I rented a horse and came back."
"Have you come to try and stop this?" Prince Gideon turned to him and released her hand. Ursula took a step toward George Evan.
"Have you come for me?" She wanted him to say he had, but deep down, where the hurt was strongest, she knew it was impossible.
He was too honorable, too proper to put their own wants and needs ahead of those of the Kingdom.
She was a Princess, and he was a noble. Their lives belonged to the people. No matter what either of their hearts wanted, those hearts had to be silenced for the good of those entrusted to their care.
Maybe it could be different, she allowed herself to think for a moment. Maybe Prince Gideon would see their love and release her from the promise to King Killian.
"No," George Evan said, not looking at the Prince. His eyes were on Ursula as hers were on him. "I have to be on the ship when it sails, but I had to see you and..." He took a step toward her.
How could she let him leave again?
She stood in front of him, dressed in a pristine white gown, a crown on her head, and her hair in soft waves like a halo.
Ursula was everything he'
d ever wanted, and here she was, standing next to a stranger, ready to give her life to save the Elements only knew how many men who would never know what she did for them.
It wasn't fair. She deserved so much more.
Happiness.
A life with someone who would cherish her and treat her like the treasure she was.
King Killian would never understand how precious she was, what a jewel he was getting. How could he? He'd never seen her laugh at the sheer joy of walking in the springtime moonlight.
He'd never held her in his arms as the music took them around a glittering ballroom.
He didn't deserve to call her his wife. He didn't deserve to touch her hand or speak her name.
"Maybe we could do it," George Evan murmured as he reached for her hand. The words were out of his mouth before he even knew he'd been thinking them. However, hearing them, he knew it was right. He knew he had to do this.
"You won't be Heir Presumptive much longer." The words came faster now. "The Queen could give your title to Ramone until the babies come. You could marry me today instead of the Heyton King. I'm here. I love you."
Ursula gulped down a sob and let the tears run unchecked down her cheeks. His image wavered.
"I..." What could she say to him? Nothing had changed for either of them. The prisoners still needed to come home, and he was still going to Gredia to study for two years.
He wanted her with him, though.
Suddenly, it was what she wanted, too. She turned to Mariana, whose expression gave away nothing.
The Queen would let her make this decision. Mariana would never force her into a marriage she didn't want.
If only she were something other than a Princess. If she were anyone else but the sister of the Queen of Valborough, she could leave with the man she loved.
She could marry him, have his children, live the life the Elements should have given her before.
But if she did that, could she return to Valborough with him after his apprenticeship was over?
Patsy's face entered her mind, followed quickly by Felix and Caroline and countless other people who were suffering because the King of Heyton refused to release their husbands and fathers until she was his wife.
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