Chapter 23
“How you feeling today, neighbor lady?” John called as he steered his horse around in a loop to ride beside me.
“I’m good. I love this girl.” I patted my horse’s neck. “She doesn’t have that feel that Pippin had, not so skittish. She’s nice and calm. I like that.” Tullia whinnied as if she agreed with me. “I know, Tullia, you’re more than just a pretty face.”
John laughed while Tullia snorted.
“She’s watching you. She knows all about you and your antics,” I said, admiring her sleek white coat that covered her neck, withers, and chest. I peered over my shoulder to inspect her brown-speckled hindquarters. “Where’d the name Tullia come from?”
“It’s the best kind of name, Irish, and it means peaceful and quiet. That’s why I saddled her up for you today. Thought her Zen might help settle what’s brewing inside of you.”
“Comedian.” I stroked Tullia’s hide. “You’re a good girl, aren’t you?” She stared back at me and I fingered her coarse brown mane.
“Yes, she is,” John said. “Couldn’t have you bolting off again. You might not come back with all this crazy talk between us.”
“You ready to climb girl?” I asked Tullia. She tugged at the reins and snatched a mouthful of grass.
“Give her a little nudge when she does that. Greedy girl,” John said.
Breeze stepped carefully over thick tree roots to find her footing. Tullia followed in her footsteps, her hooves clomping against the sunbaked earth. I leaned forward and coaxed her with a clicking tongue as I ducked under low branches, pine needles tickling my shoulder. John checked over his shoulder when Breeze found flatter ground.
“You really do look like a natural,” John said, resting his hand on his thigh. “We’ll go to the top, look around, and take a break before heading back to the barn. We can stop anywhere to take photos. You got your camera?”
“Yup, in the saddlebag.”
Tullia nuzzled close to Breeze at the top of the hill.
“You like Breeze?” I asked her.
“Yeah, they don’t like to be separated,” John answered. “Dad got them as youngsters and they stick together. When you find one of them, the other is not far behind.”
My body swayed in time with Tullia’s tempo as I listened to John talk, thinking this could be my last ride before it was time to head home. Judy and I had no definite plans, but had a rough idea when we’d be leaving. John pointed to the left. I peered up the hill to see a group of deer grazing in between the pines. They leered at us then fled, their white tails bobbing up and down.
“See that ridge up there?” John pointed straight ahead.
“Yup.”
“We’ll stop there.”
Tullia’s shoulder blades glimmered in the sun. She was hot from the ride and I was grateful for her hard work. “We’ll stop in a minute, girl.”
“You still talking to that horse back there?”
John’s hat shaded his face, but I could see the laugh lines lines at the corners of his eyes as he grinned at me over his shoulder.
“Yup.”
John gave Breeze a nudge with the heels of his boots then cantered across the field. Tullia’s ears pricked up and I knew we were going, too.
“Let’s go girl.” I clicked my tongue and she raced to catch up. Hunkering down in the saddle, I hung onto the horn until she slowed to a trot. “Good girl,” I whispered into the wind. A chill ran across the nape of my neck like one of John’s kisses.
John and Breeze sauntered along the ridge with Tullia and me in tow. Breeze swished her tail and shook her mane free at the view of the valley. John stopped, dismounted, and then tied Breeze to a limb with a view. He guided Tullia next to her buddy and wrapped her reins around the branch. Sniffing the ground, she munched on blooms before shifting her weight, and lowering her eyelids.
I found my camera in the saddlebag while John got the canteen. He handed it to me after taking a long drink.
“Um, do you have cooties?” I asked.
He narrowed his eyes at me, set the canteen on the ground, and then reached out to grab me. I lurched backward, my heart pounding. The game was different up here without an audience.
John came closer with his hands up like he was surrendering. Raising my eyebrows at the glint in his green irises, I backed away at the prospect of being caught. “From where I come from, girls don’t like this game on the playground. I think I mentioned this before.”
“Well, from where I come from, girls don’t like it either unless they’re just pretending they don’t like it.”
I stood knee high in daisies, wild bushes lined the ridge. We were as close to heaven as we could possible get.
“There’s nowhere to go, unless you head that way.” John pointed to a grove of dense trees. “But I wouldn’t do that.”
I scrunched my forehead. “Why not?”
“Bears, maybe. Moose, maybe. Bobcats, maybe.” John grinned with pleasure as he listed the wildlife that lingered in dark places on the mountaintop. His whiskery chin shimmered in the sunlight.
I snapped a photo of him. “Oh. Not sure which is more dangerous. You or them.” I placed my camera on the rock I hid behind then anchored my hands on my hips. John raised an eyebrow at me. He planted his hands on the rock and leaned toward me.
John whispered across the boulder in the middle of the field that resembled an expensive postcard. “Now, you wouldn’t have put that camera down if you thought I wasn’t going to get you.”
I raised an eyebrow. My heart beat faster. Excitement flooded my body, something I craved. Beckett and I never played games like this when we were married. Beckett and I never played games, period.
“You look like you’re sweating,” John said, holding out a bandana in my direction. “Hot flash?”
“Nice,” I said.
He snickered.
“Is this part of your persuasive plan?” I asked, moving to the right as he moved closer.
“Could be, sweetheart. Depends on how hard you kick and scream until you give.”
My heart fluttered against my chest walls. “Stop it,” I said. “This is silly.”
“Come on, this is fun.”
“For who?” I squinted in his direction. The sun peeked out from behind a rolling cloud that hung alone in the blue sky. John shushed me and pointed over my shoulder.
“Too bad because it’s gonna swoop down and get you.”
“Yeah, right.” John hooked his thumbs in his back pockets and watched intently over my shoulder.
“Okay, but can’t you see the shadow?” John tucked his fingers in his armpits then flapped like a bird. “You want to look, don’t you?”
I nodded.
“Go ahead, I won’t get you,” he said.
I glared at him. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
The hawk’s shadow flitted across the grass behind me. It let out a piercing shriek then dove to the ground, snatched up a furry critter that waggled in its talons, then flew away over our heads.
“Told ya.”
“What did it catch?” I shaded my eyes and watched it fly off.
“Probably a mouse. Pretty cool, huh?”
“Food chain.”
“Natural selection. Aren’t you big on that?” John asked.
I smiled. “Yeah.”
“Good, me too.”
John grabbed me around the waist and reeled me in. The brims of our hats touching.
“Um, I thought we called a truce.” My lips grazed his neck.
The heat between us was sultrier than his mischievous grin.
“When you see a chance, you gotta take it, neighbor lady, and I don’t know if I’m gonna get you alone again before you leave.”
Smiling, I flicked the Stetson back from his brow and kissed him. Beads of sweat trickled down my back as the sun beat down. John sat on the rock then drew me in. I rested my arms on his shoulders while he cradled me between his thighs.
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“Pretty sneaky,” I said. “Not sure how you got me to kiss you like that.”
“See, you wanted to be caught.” John took his Stetson off and set it down beside him, next to my camera. Then he took off my cowboy hat, laid it atop his, and ran his fingers down my cheek.
He unbuttoned my shirt, and I closed my eyes.
“Open your eyes, Maggie.”
His fingers grazed my neck. Heat washed through me as he ran them down my chest to the little black tattoo between my breasts. I watched his gaze as it followed the path of his hand. He exposed my collarbone, then touched the little black tattoo on my shoulder. When the shirt slid from my shoulders, I pointed to the two black specks on my side. He kissed each mark left from radiation then kissed the one between my breasts, again. My heart raced.
“You could turn those little black dots into something.”
“Not sure I could. Those four pokes sent me to the moon.”
John unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall to the ground. Crossing his arms in front of him, he tugged upward on the hem of his undershirt, then pulled it over his head.
“I’d say you messed up your hair, but you really don’t have any.” I ran my fingers through the short stubble on the sides of his head. A tiny smirk crossed my lips, and John smiled back at me. I flinched as he ran his fingers across my belly.
“Pippin’s not the only skittish one around here. Maybe that why she took off, because of you,” he said.
I covered his hand with mine as he rested it on my belly. John leaned forward and kissed the skin between my breasts just above my lacy bra band, then rested his head against my chest. His shoulders fell forward. I kissed the top of his smooth head then traced the horseshoe tattoo on his left shoulder.
John’s eyes sparkled like gemstones, his pupils clear enough to see my own reflection. I caressed his cheek. The stubble tickled. My dreams caught in my chest, my words lost in the breeze.
“You okay?” John asked.
“I don’t want to go home, but I have to.” My mind flashed back to my kitchen when Chloe and I sat on the floor, crying about having to say goodbye before they left, her letter on my night table, her words in my heart.
“It doesn’t have to be forever. You have a home here.”
Gravity tugged at my mouth. “What about Mom? What about—” I caught my breath. “I can’t leave her. And I have—”
John interrupted. “You have a job that is sucking the life out of you. You give yourself to everyone. You deserve to have what you want. Times are changing. I see it with Chloe. What ever happened to animal crackers and milk, learning cursive, playing Four Square, and playing period, because that’s how we learned to live our lives?”
John raised me onto his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and gazed deep into his eyes for the answer.
“I don’t know how Glad would feel if you up and left, but I have a sneaking suspicion that she’d want you to be happy. I think she’d even help you pack your bags.”
“You really like her, don’t you?” I knew I didn’t have to ask, but I needed to hear his answer.
“Yeah, I do. She can be a handful like you, but yeah.”
I kissed his cheek, thinking about how she’d pestered me to have a fling with John, the man who was holding me on his lap at the top of a mountain, the man who said he’d want to marry me someday. “Well, I have to get it from somewhere.”
“Yeah, ya do, just like Chloe. Apples don’t fall from the tree. That’s what dad used to tell me and it took me all these years to believe him.”
John held me close.
The breeze kicked up, making our hats tumble to the ground and we held on to each other like we’d been together all our lives.
Chapter 24
John was right. Scars gave us personality.
All roads led home, and John said I had a home here in Montana. I lifted my chin to the sun and closed my eyes as Tullia navigated the path back to the ranch where a young girl played with Walter and Harry, the boys from Michigan who wore Speedos at the beach and resembled Mark Spitz with their curly dark hair, and learned about life from a litter of kittens, a crow named Frankie, horses, cattle, fly-fishing, Winston, and most importantly John, who wasn’t afraid to follow his heart. My skin tingled as I imagined his kisses and how he held me like I’d never been held before. That familiar sorrow surfaced as I thought about packing for home.
“I like my bracelet,” I said, playing with the braided strands of grass around my wrist.
“Yeah, I hear women like that sort of thing.”
“We do. In fact, I still have Chloe’s macaroni necklace.”
“When we make our way down, remember to let Tullia find her path.”
Tullia stared back at me with dark eyes as I ran my fingers through her mane. She stumbled then caught herself. I held steady as she jerked the reins from my hands. “Easy, girl,” I said. “You’re okay.” She shook her head like a wet dog then carefully stepped over the rocks and tree roots in her way.
“You talking to your girl again?” Johns said, looking over his shoulder.
“Yup.”
Tullia snorted then exhaled.
“See, she likes it.”
John’s laugh drifted in the air. Breeze whinnied. “Okay, girl, I’ll talk to you, too.”
I patted Tullia’s taut shoulder. Breeze’s bright gaze watched me. “Us girls have to stick together. Right, Breeze?”
Breeze swished her tail and trotted into the open field as we descended from the ridge. Tullia followed on her heels.
Justin met us at the barn. “Was Tullia a good girl for you?” he asked with a wink.
“Perfect.”
Justin tied Tullia to the hitching post so I could dismount. I noticed my knees fared a wee better than the last ride. “She’s always a good girl,” Justin said between his teeth as he patted her nose.
I ran my hand over her wither then down her front leg. She felt warm and so did I with my shirt stuck to my back. “I think we both need a drink.”
“You’ll probably need a different kind of drink than your lady friend here with the hooves.” Justin laughed at his own joke.
“Yeah, a beer does sound good. It’s hot this afternoon.”
“You’re not kidding.” John yanked up on Breeze’s girth and unhooked her saddle. With one clean jerk, she was bare backed, the sun glistening on her sweaty coat.
Chloe poked her head out of the barn door. “Hi, Maggie.” She fingered her braid and beamed beneath the brim of her Stetson. “Look, I didn’t mess it up today.”
Trying to cool off, I rolled up my sleeves. “Even if you did, that’s an easy fix. How are those kitties?”
“Little and furry. Their eyes are still shut. They’re waiting for their mom to come back, wherever she is. I’m just keeping them company.”
“Probably out huntin’,” Justin said, walking past with my saddle and tack.
“Thanks, Justin.”
He nodded. “Anything for you. It’s nice to have a lady around. We don’t get that much.” His boot heels clunked across the barn floor.
“Hey, what about me?” Ashley leered at Justin as she appeared from behind the stall by the door.
Justin laughed his sinister laugh. “Just checking to see if you were listening.”
“Yeah, right.” She poked him as he strode by. “Don’t you have some fences to mend somewhere?”
“Gonna take more than that to hurt this cowboy,” he said, puffing out his chest. “And no. I finished the fences early. That’s why I’m hanging around here.
Chloe scooted back into the stall and sat on the bale of hay. Ashley and Justin continued bickering as John groomed Breeze. “How about you help Justin brush down Tullia? Chloe can you hear me?”
“In a minute. I want to see the kitties.”
“Good thing they aren’t purple like Voodoo,” John said.
Chloe laughed. “Yeah, good thing,” she said, resting her chin on bent knees
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“I’m really thirsty. You want me to get you something to drink from the house?” I leaned against the doorjamb, taking in John from head-to-toe. Feeling his bare skin next to mine only made me want him more.
John mopped his brow with a blue bandana from his back pocket. He grazed my shoulder as he strode past, igniting the smoldering heat I’d carried down the mountain. His wink stirred my insides with giddy butterflies that bounced around like drunk flies stuck between the kitchen windowpanes.
“I’ll finish up here, you fetch the cold drinks, and I’ll meet you under that tree.” He nodded to the willow in the pasture.
“Can I come, too?” Chloe asked.
“Of course you can,” I answered. Her toothy grin made me smile, too. She’d be a welcome distraction.
“That’s why I like you, Maggie. You don’t ever leave me out.”
“See you in a few minutes.” I strolled to the house where Walter sat outside eating Oreos while perusing a Spiderman comic book. “Hey there, little man,” I said, breezing past.
“Hey.” He gave a little wave, but kept his eyes focused on his favorite superhero.
Judy was inside on the phone with Pink, giving him a rundown of everything she’d been doing while I rummaged through the cupboards and fridge for snacks and drinks. I loaded the cooler with beer, water bottles, a can of orange soda for Chloe, cheese and crackers, and a chocolate bar. Judy gave me a wave as she told her husband she loved him. Goosebumps covered my arms, thinking maybe I could have that, too. She told him goodbye and that she’d call him later with more details.
Judy leaned against the counter her fists under her chin. “What’s going on?”
The glint in her eye left a puddle of hope within me. “Getting some snacks and drinks. Gonna meet Chloe and John under the old tree in the pasture. Wanna come?”
Judy sighed and leaned a closer. “So what’s the skinny?”
“What skinny?” I questioned, organizing the cooler.
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