She was dying.
Annora didn’t understand why the afterworld wasn’t bringing her back.
Maybe she was too weak?
Or maybe the sword was built specially to kill their kind?
The devastated expression on Edgar’s face was like a lance to her chest, hitting harder than any physical blow.
Annora glanced down at her hand, still able to see the tiny etches where the strands of light had tried to worm their way into her flesh, leaving her palm coated in the stuff. Chest hollow, knowing she was going to regret it, she knelt and carefully placed her palm over Sadie’s chest.
The moment she touched the girl, her back arched off the ground, and she wheezed for air, the sound raspy and painful. Annora watched while tiny threads of gold forked their way under the girl’s skin. With every pulse of her heart, the wound at her neck healed a bit more. Little nicks and bruises faded.
As the gold light faded, Sadie collapsed back to the ground, unconscious but alive.
The battlefield was so quiet it was eerie.
No one moved or even made a sound.
When Edgar reached for her, Annora flinched. As she pulled away, dizziness struck her so hard, it was like the earth was trying to swallow her. A babble of voices rushed to her ears, and she staggered to her feet.
She grabbed the sword, the tip leaving deep gouges in the ground as she dragged it behind her. When she reached Erickson, he lifted his arm out toward her, his bones creaking. His tongue was nothing more than dried jerky as he licked his lips. He grabbed her foot and tried to drag her closer so he could get to her blood.
Annora lifted the heavy sword, feeling it drag her backwards under its weight before she caught her balance. Then she brought it down, hacking off Erickson’s head with one clean blow. Dark particles clung to the blade, and she could feel what remained of him being sucked into the afterworld. In her head, she could hear his scream of rage and denial…then his terror when he discovered he wasn’t alone.
The sword dropped from her numb grasp. Just as her knees gave out, strong arms wrapped around her and swept her off her feet. The warmth almost burned her, and she shivered as the cold seemed to be anchored in her very bones.
“Easy there.” Xander’s voice was low and rough and soothing to her nerves. Glancing up, she saw his battered face come into a blurry focus. She tried to lift her hand to touch him but didn’t have the strength.
He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek to the top of her head with a shuddering breath. The scent of the sea swept through her, easing the tight ache in her chest. A light breeze ruffled her hair, while the soft brush of feathers slid over her skin, no doubt checking her for injuries, and she found the sensation soothing.
Trusting Xander to keep her safe, she surrendered to the beckoning darkness.
* * *
“Annora.”
Her eyes snapped open with a start at the sound of Logan’s rough voice. Strong hands held her steady as she jolted, then she groaned while pain ricocheted throughout her body from head to toe, her bones feeling like they were tied in knots.
A quick glance showed they were in the truck. Mason drove without regard for speed, laying on the horn whenever another vehicle refused to get out of his way fast enough. He watched her in the rearview mirror more than the road, only seeming to relax when she gave him a small nod.
Edgar watched her from the front seat, an unconscious Sadie in his arms. Bile rose in her throat at the image of them so cozy together. When he saw she was awake, he leaned toward her, but she quickly turned away, fearing she’d be sick while her stomach felt like it was trying to eat itself.
Xander cradled her in his arms, while her legs were stretched over the bucket seats. Camden had his hand wrapped around her ankle, his fingers nervously tracing her skin over and over. That’s when she saw he sat in such a way that he was reaching down to touch something.
When she moved her head to see what held his attention, a tortured groan escaped. She grabbed her head, feeling like it was about ready to fall off. Xander’s arms tightened around her, and she’d swear she felt his lips brush her temple.
“Are you okay?” He slid his fingers under her chin and tipped her head back toward him, his teal eyes sharp with concern.
She opened her mouth, then licked her lips, her mouth so dry her voice was barely above a whisper. “Fine. Sore.”
The vehicle swerved, the guys all looked at each other, and Annora winced. Since she never complained, they must be thinking she was at death’s door. Maybe they didn’t know it but dying was the easy part. Surviving and living were far worse.
Then she bolted upright, frantically searching the vehicle. “Where’s Logan?”
At the sharp movement, a groan tore from her before she could stifle it, nausea making her mouth water unpleasantly, while her stomach churning threateningly.
Both Xander and Camden wrapped their arms around her so she couldn’t move. Camden leaned close, pressing his hand to the side of her face, his touch calming the blast of panic. “Breathe. Logan is right here. He’s resting.”
He gently turned her head, and she saw Logan was lying stretched out between the seats. Annora reached for him, then curled her fingers into a fist and pressed it against her stomach to resist temptation. He was so bruised and battered, so damaged, she was afraid to touch him.
Her uncle did that to him.
Because of her.
Just the sight of her must be repulsive.
No doubt the thought of her touching him would make his skin crawl.
“Annora.” Logan spoke her name again, mumbling it in his sleep. He shifted restlessly, grimacing, until Camden reached down and gently brushed his fingers along the side of Logan’s neck. The kitsune settled down almost immediately.
“He wakes every few minutes, searching for you.” Camden leaned back and tightened his hold around her ankle when she tried to pull away and curl into herself, as if bracing for a blow.
“Why hasn’t he healed?” she whispered, so she wouldn’t disturb Logan. She refused to look at him. Couldn’t. What if when he looked at her and she only saw hatred staring back?
“He’s exhausted.” Xander cradled her close, as if he could feel her pulling away and wanted to stop it. “He can only heal so much, so fast, before his body shuts down.”
“I’m fine.” Logan’s voice was a broken rasp.
His eyes met hers before he quickly dropped his gaze and her heart imploded with pain.
Physical pain was easy, she used it to fuel herself.
This?
This she didn’t know how to handle.
She tried to swallow, tried to breathe, but couldn’t seem to get enough air in her lungs to make them work. Logan dragged himself upright, leaning his back against the seat, chest heaving, the small motions exhausting him. He opened his arms, and Xander carefully deposited her sideways across his lap.
She sat on the floor of the van, between his splayed legs, afraid to move.
Afraid she would shatter.
Logan blew out a shaky breath, then gently placed his hand on her back, running his fingers lightly up and down her spine. After a moment, the tightness in her chest eased a fraction, and she became aware that he was speaking.
“You don’t have to see me anymore. I’ll leave. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. It’s not like I’ll be any good to the team anyway. I—”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Annora turned and glared at him.
He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing painfully, and he quickly dropped his gaze when she looked at him. “I’m damaged. Broken. I can barely feel my kitsune. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to shift again. I’m useless. I won’t even be able to protect you. You need a mate you can rely on to keep you safe.”
His voice broke on the last word, and the panicked buzz in her brain quieted. Hesitantly, she reached out and rested her hand on his shoulder. He sucked in a sharp breath, his head snapping up.
; “I thought you hated me,” she spoke in a broken whisper. “You have every right to hate me.”
He scowled down at her, his split lip busting open again. “What the hell made you think such a thing?”
“My uncle—”
“Is an asshole.” He shook his head as if she was a foolish child. “What he did was not your fault.”
“But if it wasn’t for me, none of this would’ve happened.” She gazed down at her lap, twisting her fingers together. “He never would’ve come into your life, never would’ve touched you.”
A vicious growl rumbled between them, and he grabbed her arms, forcing her to look up at him, wincing at the harsh movement, but refusing back down. “I’m glad it was me and not you. I wouldn’t trade even a second of the time we’ve had together. Every bit of pain was worth it, because it brought you into my life.”
Annora searched his face for the truth.
His blue eyes never wavered, and the knot in her throat threatening to strangle her since he’d been taken finally relaxed. Tears blurred her eyes, and she quickly blinked them away. “You’re not damaged in my eyes. You’re perfect, and I wouldn’t trade you for anyone.”
His grip tightened on her arm, his voice fierce and ragged. “Tell me you mean it.”
“Of course I mean it, you idiot.” She leaned closer, resting her forehead against his. “I’m going to kiss you now.”
He swallowed hard, his breathing ragged, and she’d swear he was nervous, which was ridiculous. He was a known womanizer. Her inexperienced fumbling should’ve made him take off running, not make him look at her like she was a goddess come to life.
Not wanting to hurt him, she closed the distance between them and gently pressed her lips against his. His mouth parted on a groan, and the darkness inside her rose. It mingled with her breath, leaving her and entering him.
She pulled away as he sucked in a startled gasp. His eyes went wide, then fluttered shut and he slumped sideways. Panic grabbed her by the throat, and she quickly caught him, gently laying him down.
“What the fuck did I do?” Her hands shook, and she quickly released him and scrambled back, pressing herself against the door, terrified she would hurt him even more.
Camden scooped her up onto his lap, while Xander leaned down and checked Logan over. “He’s fine, just dropped into a healing sleep.”
Her heart hiccupped against her ribs, and she glared at him. “You promise?”
Xander nodded, easing Logan into a more comfortable position. “His worry that you’d reject him kept him from surrendering fully to the sleep until he spoke with you.” Xander leaned back into his seat and faced her. “If you don’t believe me, you can check for yourself.”
She didn’t think he meant by checking Logan’s pulse. Annora hesitated, not sure she trusted the afterworld the same way she used to, not after the way it nearly took her over.
Camden leaned forward, his face brushing lightly against hers. “Trust yourself. We won’t let you fall.”
Annora nodded, then braced herself and called upon the darkness until it filled her vision. She observed Logan and could easily see that his form was practically glowing.
He was healing.
Black welts and cruel marks were like shadows against the bright glow, and sorrow pierced her, knowing they were scars that would never heal. He hadn’t been able to heal fast enough, some of the injuries were just too deep, and she wished she could take his pain.
She blinked away the darkness, both relieved and saddened. “He won’t ever be the same.”
“He’ll be stronger.” Mason glanced at her from over his shoulder, then went back to driving. “That’s not a bad thing.”
Annora glared at him. “No one deserves what he went through.”
Mason shrugged, not bothering to look at her, avoiding her anger.
“He’s grown up since he met you.” His grip tightened on the steering wheel as they drove through campus. They were almost home. “This was a hard lesson for him to learn, but he’ll be stronger for it. He’ll understand you better and in a way that only someone who went through the same thing could.”
He drove the vehicle in the driveway, slipping it into park before turning to face her. “This will draw you closer together. He grew up very privileged. While he knew pain, he didn’t know true suffering. This will make him more alert to the dangers you face.”
Annora didn’t like it. “I stole the last of his innocence.”
Camden snorted, blocking her from reaching for the door and making her escape. “Logan was in no way innocent. He understood pain, grew up battling it every day of his life, but he’s never known the fear of caring what happens to anyone else but himself. Never known true sacrifice. He didn’t know what it meant to truly love someone else so completely that he would give his life for them. Until now.”
As the guys opened the doors, Annora didn’t move. “I never wanted that for him. Not because of me.”
“Don’t.” Xander paused halfway out the door and turned toward her. “Don’t diminish his sacrifice. Don’t treat him as if he’s broken. He did what he did out of love. Any of us, including you, would’ve traded spots with him in a heartbeat. Because of love. Don’t pull away from him because of your fear. What he needs most right now is just you. When he looks at you, he won’t see your uncle. He won’t feel the pain. He’ll see only you. The woman he loves. Unless you can’t let it go. If you hang on to your guilt, you’ll drown him with it.”
Then he jumped out of the vehicle and stormed toward the house.
Annora watched him go in shocked silence. He was so stoic, so contained, she struggled to understand him at times. She wanted to deny what he said, but the pain in his eyes was a living beast that was consuming him, and she knew he spoke from experience.
Edgar was the next to exit. He gave her a worried look, only to have Sadie mumble something and cuddle closer to him in a way that triggered a pang of searing jealousy. She crushed it ruthlessly. She would not take his choice away from him. If he wanted Sadie, she wouldn’t keep him from the woman he loved. His face shut down at whatever he saw when he looked at her, and he strode toward the house without speaking.
Mason shut his door, then came around back and gently lifted Logan out, as if the kitsune weighed no more than a kitten. She struggled with her guilt, not wanting to leave the comfort of Camden’s arms while she sorted through her conflicting emotions.
And came to one conclusion…Xander was right.
She had to let go of her anger, her fear, and her guilt.
She’d been living with them for so long, she wasn’t sure she knew how.
With a weary sigh, she made to stand, only to have Camden’s arms tighten around her. He pressed his head against her shoulder, so she couldn’t turn to face him. “Not yet. Please.”
“Camden?” She gripped his arm at his softly spoken plea, worry dousing her like a bucket of ice. “What’s wrong?”
Chapter Twenty-one
“You almost died!” Camden couldn’t hold back the roar. By the gods, he wanted to shake sense into her, but he didn’t think it would do any good. “We felt every blow, every cut, every bone crack and snap. We fucking felt your heart slow and nearly stop. Why the hell do you think Xander is so pissed?!”
He was breathing heavily at the end of his rant, but it did nothing to make him feel any better. He knew if it came down to the same choices, she’d do it again.
Because she loved them.
Fuck! How could that feel like both heaven and hell?
His hands shook, and he tightened his arms around her, pressing her closer, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to confirm with his own eyes that she was okay. Damn if his heart wasn’t thumping so hard it felt like it was trying to bash its way out of his chest.
Annora turned sideways on his lap, then held her arms out straight. “Go ahead. Look for yourself.”
He swallowed hard, searched her face for any reservations at the thought of him touching her.<
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And found none.
Very gently, as if she was made of spun glass, he lifted up her sleeves to find smooth, unblemished skin. He lightly ran his fingers along her veins, the reassuring warmth of her skin calming him.
He turned over her arm, running his palm along her elbow. Then he methodically searched her other arm, inspecting every inch. When he was done, Annora grabbed the bottom of her battle-stained shirt and pulled it off over her head, leaving her wearing nothing but a minuscule tank top that barely covered her breasts.
He nearly swallowed his tongue when she tipped her head aside, silently urging him to finish his inspection. Blood flaked off her skin as he ran his hands over her exposed flesh. Though he found her sexy as hell, there was nothing sexual in his touch.
The longer he examined her, the more his control returned. She didn’t protest when he slipped his hand beneath her shirt, checking her stomach, then her back, trailing his fingers up her spine. His hands ran along her shoulders, then slid along her neck.
Without prompting, she turned her head the other direction. He ran his finger from her ear down to her collarbone, settling his palm possessively over her throat, wishing he had the power to remove the image of Erickson’s hand digging into her neck.
“Do it.” Annora grabbed his wrist to keep him from pulling away. “It’s the only way you’ll feel better.”
Camden swallowed hard, his breathing turning ragged at her husky demand. His cock hardened so fast it left his head spinning, and he stifled his groan. Unable to resist her, he leaned forward and placed his lips against her neck, every kiss, every caress marking her as his mate.
When she squirmed in his lap, he growled, the urge to bite her like a craving, and he jerked back. While she might be immune to his touch, he wouldn’t risk infecting her with his venom, not until he was positive it wouldn’t harm her.
Shackled to the World: A Phantom Touched Novel Page 24