by Rita Hestand
"Boy or girl?" everyone crowded around.
"Boy!" Millie turned to look at the crowd. "A big boy at that, that's why she had so much trouble. He must weigh nigh on to ten pounds. He's beautiful. His skin is peaches and cream."
Everyone gasped.
Some of the men gathered about and A.J. produced a bottle of whiskey, "Here's to the new mom and dad and a big boy!"
Joe was there too, Millie noticed. He shot her a slow lingering smile and walked off.
It warmed Millie that he was there to share the news. That he cared. But she was sure that smile was for the mother and baby, not her. She wished he'd be more friendly. Because her only close friends were Wilma and A.J. Since A.J. was rarely around, and Wilma was a woman she missed the comradery she'd had with Joe at the village. She'd always gotten along fine with boys as long as she didn't take them seriously. But Joe was hard to figure.
Millie slumped into the rocker and sipped her coffee, closing her eyes and smiling as she listened to the others talking about the baby.
Mr. Newton came out with the baby and showed him around to everyone. The women ooh and awed over him.
Wilma came to sit beside Millie on a barrel. "How's the mother?"
"She's fine, beaming, actually. It always shocks me that a woman can so easily forget the pain once the child has been born." Millie sighed happily. "But he's so beautiful."
"You did a great job. She might not have made it if you hadn't been here."
Millie opened her eyes now, "I don't know about that."
"I do, I watched you turn that baby and it was nothing short of a miracle." Wilma smiled at her. "I've never seen such patience. No doctor or mid-wife I ever knew would have been able to do that."
"I learned how from an older doctor at the school. A woman went into labor and the baby was turned wrong, and he worked for what seemed like hours. It was patience that did it." Millie sobered, "The baby would have been still born if it hadn't turned. And it's not an easy job to urge the baby to move. It was too large to deliver in that position. Its neck would have broken."
"Oh dear God, did you tell her that?"
"No…no use scaring her. But if her other children had the same kinds of trouble, I can see why she lost them…" Millie said lowly so no one else would hear.
But Joe had been behind her when she was talking to Wilma and heard every word. He came forward, shooting her an incredible smile. For a moment, they just stared at each other, an awareness in their eyes. "Good job, Millie."
Just a few words, but she took them into her heart. Then he walked off.
She stared after him. Wilma didn't say a word, just smiled.
Chapter Eight
At Ft. Kearny, everyone seemed to relax. Millie looked around the fort with curiosity. There were five unpainted wooden houses, and over two dozen adobe's built in all directions around a square parade grounds. Even the commanding officer's quarters were crudely unpainted, and misshapen two story house, unflattering to the eye from the outside. It wasn't appealing but it was a welcome reprieve from the loneliness of the prairies.
Captain Henry Wharton was now the commanding officer in charge and greeted A.J. After briefing him on the situation at the fort, the Captain informed him that he could not leave yet. He couldn't spare the men to escort the train, but once it enlarged to over fifty wagons then they could proceed. As many trains came through, it wouldn't take long. Anything smaller would be unsafe he told them. So they would wait there until another wagon party came through and if need be they'd join forces and go on.
"Why are we stopping so long here?" Wilma wanted to know.
"The Cheyenne and the Sioux have been stirring up troubles, the Captain says we have to wait until we have at least fifty wagons to push on. They can't spare a full troop to accompany us, so we'll wait."
"How many do we have now?"
"Thirty-five. We'll wait until the next wagon train comes through and pool our resources. The Indians don't like all the gold miners coming through, and it's hard for them to tell which is which. We'll have to arm ourselves and be ready for them."
Wilma nodded, "Better safe than sorry. But there aren't many trains as good as yours A.J."
"Yes ma'am." A.J. replied. "That's true. But we'll make do."
"Can we get supplies here?" Someone asked.
"We'll get what we can here at the fort, then Dobytown is just three miles of here, we'll get other supplies there. It's not really a town yet, just a general store and tavern. But the store offers more than the fort in way of supplies." The wagon master told everyone. "Now, it's kind of a rough place, lots of liquored up people, so we won't be lollygagging about. We'll get our supplies and be on our way, we'll hold up here until another train comes through and join them. Then we'll be going on."
Wilma nodded, "You know best, Avery." She smiled.
He returned her smile and walked off.
There was always a silent message between A.J. and Wilma, Millie noted with a smile.
It didn't take long for the women to socialize with the wives of the officers and they learned there would be a dance on Saturday night if they were still there. It gave the women something to look forward to. All but Millie. She had no proper clothes to go to a dance and she wasn't much in the mood for dancing.
There were times she saw the wisdom of Wilma's words. Marrying a man she didn't like was no answer. But then she thought about her family and she changed her mind.
She was doing laundry when Joe ambled over to her wagon. He leaned against the canvas of the wagon and watched her hang clothes for a moment before he ever said a word.
"Got your list made out for the General Store?" Joe asked her as she continued to hang clothes up on a line she had made from the wagon to a near by tree.
"Wilma has a list, yes." She tossed him a glance over her shoulder. That fast glance captured the lazy way he leaned against the wagon, and the steadiness of his gaze as it bore into her.
"I was asking about your list?" He scrutinized her now.
"I don't have one." She continued with her work as though he weren't there. But she couldn't control the rapid beat of her heart, or how her hands seemed to sweat. She wasn't intentionally ignoring him but her mind was a million miles away. She didn't want to think about the dance.
"Why not?" He asked curiously.
"I would think that obvious." She snapped, her ill humor showing. "A stow-a-way doesn't have the kind of money to throw away. admittedly, I have none. So new clothes are not on my list."
"Even so, you'll need some new clothes for the dance."
She shrugged, "I'm not going to the dance…"
"Why not?" His brows furrowed as he studied her.
"You've barely said hello to me since we came back from the village, why so nice now?" She challenged, a hand poised on her hip, her eyes narrowing on him.
"Because now I can relax a little from my work. I haven't been ignoring you intentionally, just figured you'd prefer it this way." When she didn't respond he crooked his head in question. "Guess I picked the wrong day to be sociable." He started to walk away.
"Wait…" she called to him, guilt had her hanging her head. "I'm sorry. I guess I got up on the wrong side of the bed. I didn't mean to snap at you. It was totally uncalled for. But you never accept Wilma's invitation for dinner."
He turned to look at her. He nodded slowly. "Guess I haven't. You never answered my question. Why aren't you going to the dance."
A tear lodged in the corner of her eye, but she didn't let it fall. "I'd think that was obvious."
He pulled out a handful of money from his pocket, took her hand in his, and placed it there, then closed it gently. "Get yourself a pretty dress, and I'll take you to the dance."
"I can't take your money…" She gasped.
"Why not!"
"Because a woman doesn't take money from a man." She argued.
He gave her a once over, thoroughly from head to toe, smiled and replied, "Then take it from your husba
nd."
Her mouth fell open, as she saw the smoldering glance he sent her. "But…we aren't really…"
"Aren't we? I'm kind of partial to blue…" He winked and ambled away.
~*~
Millie stared at the money for a moment, and a tear fell on it. Wanting to go to the dance wasn't part of her misery, her misery came from only one source and the closer she got to her destination the more her misery increased. The tension she felt was unbearable. She wanted to forget all those plans for once and enjoy the dance.
She wanted to forget what lay ahead. She simply wanted to forget.
Finishing her laundry, she watched the ladies talking together on the porch of the officer's quarters.
Mrs. Newton came up behind her and startled her.
"I'm sorry, I should have announced myself." The woman glanced as Millie grabbed her chest.
"Good morning," Millie smiled lamely. "How are you feeling?"
"Oh just fine, Millie. Look, I was wondering, I didn't know how to approach you about it, but I want to give you something." The woman said in a shy voice. "For all you've done for us."
"Give me something?" Millie brows knitted.
"It's a dress…if you'll accept it. You see, having the baby, I've gained a few pounds and it no longer fits me, and I was wondering if you might want to wear it to the dance…"
"Oh…I wasn't planning on going." Millie blushed.
"I hope you do hon. It's a lot of fun, and well, you are so young, I thought…maybe…It kind of relieves your worries for a while to get your mind on something else. If you know what I mean."
When Millie didn't reply she went on. She handed her a package. "Please accept it. It won't be doing me any good."
Millie saw the expression on Mrs. Newton's face and nodded, "All right, thank you. How's the baby?" She asked putting the package down and turning to look at her.
"He's fine, growing a lot. My husband is so proud of him. And of course we can't thank you enough for what you done. We'd like to pay you for your services. "
"Oh don't worry about it. I was glad to help. Who's watching him?"
"My oldest, Ruby." She smiled now.
"Would you like a cup of coffee?" Millie offered her a cup and Mrs. Newton nodded.
"That would be lovely."
As Millie poured her some, she poured herself a cup too. Maybe a cup would put her in a better frame of mind.
"Are you going to the dance?" Millie asked.
"Of course, we don't get many chances for fun around here, I wouldn't miss it." Mrs. Newton smiled. "You know life is hard enough, when you get a chance to let your hair down and forget your troubles, it's worth it. Keeps you sane if you know what I mean."
Millie thought about that, realizing she was so right. "Maybe I will go…after all. I could use a little sanity."
"I'm so glad."
"How have you been feeling?" Millie asked her before she walked off.
"Oh fine. You did a good job, doc, and Wilma was telling me about how patient you were, turning the baby, I hardly felt it. And of course she kept talking to me the whole time. Please let us pay you for everything."
"I'm just glad he cooperated with me. And I don't expect pay." She chuckled. "When a baby is born, it's a sheer blessing in all directions. I was almost as happy as you."
"Well you should you are a mighty fine doctor. Thank you again Millie, you've made us both so happy."
"I'm glad."
"I sure hope you go to Oregon with us, I'll probably get pregnant again once I finish nursing this one. Love to have you around close."
Millie didn't want to promise her, but she smiled and waved goodbye.
The thought of being able to continue her medicine was a great enticement to go to Oregon. These people would give her a chance. It was so tempting, so very tempting.
If she went on to Oregon, she might find a place she could be accepted, and live. God, it was a beautiful thought.
When Mrs. Newton walked off, Millie had time to reflect on the new friends she was making and wishing she could go on to Oregon with them all. What would it be like in Oregon, she wondered. The way everyone talked it was the land of milk and honey. If she traveled with these people she might have a chance at some kind of practice, but if she continued her destination, she'd never practice again.
I can't spend my life feeling sorry for myself! This is no way to live! I made a decision when I left school. I have to stick to my plan. Otherwise, I've thrown my education away for nothing!
Directly Wilma came up to her. "Ready to go to the store with me, Millie?"
"Sure, why not."
They hopped on the wagon and drove over to the store, it was a large place filled with all kinds of people. Most were loud, obnoxious, and drunk, but at least the store was big and had about anything a body might need since it was a stopping off place for all the settlers moving west.
Wilma found herself a new dress, it was red and though not daring, it would flatter her figure, Millie noticed. "Aren't you going to get you something new for the dance?"
"Umm. Mrs. Newton came by and gave me a dress to wear."
"Oh, does it fit, do you like it?" Wilma asked.
"I don't know; I didn't try it on. She said it didn't fit her any longer since she had the baby. Big babies usually do add a few pounds to you," Millie laughed.
Millie spotted the nicest dress, it wasn't lavish, but it caught her eye, a blue gingham with a green underskirt. She loved it. But now that Mrs. Newton had given her a dress, she wouldn't be needing to spend Joe's money. She was glad, but she sure liked that dress.
She sighed and glanced away from it, guiltily.
But Wilma had seen her eyeing it.
"Why don't you get it?"
Millie shook her head, "That's okay, I'll wear Mrs. Newton's. If I go…"
"Don't be silly, of course you will go." Wilma fussed at her.
Millie didn't buy the dress, and when Wilma was through they walked back to the wagon together.
A man was standing beside the wagon and staring at them as they walked out.
"Who's that?" Millie asked cautiously.
"A drunk more than likely, just keep walking and get up on the wagon." Wilma instructed her.
But the drunk man was smiling now. He came closer. eyeing Millie will interest. "Well now, what have we here. You sure are a sight for sore eyes. Young and pretty! You got pretty hair lady. I ain't seen hair like that in a long time."
Millie kept walking, until the man grabbed her by the hand and swung her around to look at her. "Yes ma'am, you sure are pretty!"
"Take your hands off her," Wilma cried.
"I ain't hurtin' her…"
"I'd do like she said, mister." Joe Modoc ambled up to him. It wasn't so much what he said, but how he stood, poised and ready to use his gun if necessary. The expression on his face said everything.
Millie's eyes rounded on him not wanting to cause a problem.
"Who the hell are you?" The drunk stared at Joe.
"The name's Joe Modoc, now for the last time, take your hands off her."
The drunk studied Joe, then glanced at Millie. "She belong to you or somethin'?"
"Or something." Joe smirked.
"Well, excuse the hell out of me…" The drunk said and sauntered away, stumbling along his way to the tavern.
Joe turned to Millie, "Did you get a dress?"
"Well, I umm…"
"She didn't buy one, Joe. Mrs. Newton gave her one." Wilma heard him and answered for her.
His eyes narrowed on her but he didn't say anymore.
Joe helped Millie up on the wagon seat, tipped his hat and rode off.
Chapter Nine
On Saturday Millie opened the package that Mrs. Newton gave her. It was a yellow dress, made of fine satin with lace and pearls around the very low neckline. Millie pulled it up against her and knew it wouldn't fit her correctly with one glance. Millie was rather well endowed and Mrs. Newton wasn't. She'd spill out in
that, it was so low cut. She couldn't wear it. A tear fell on her hand and she silently scolded herself. She had to bone up and forget dances and having fun. Funny, thinking back, her brothers used to make fun of the way she'd filled out so quickly. But wearing dress that daring was not her.
Perhaps she was too prudish. Perhaps she was wrong, but she knew she'd nearly bust out of that dress. She couldn't possibly wear it. It'd be downright indecent.
This was part of growing up and facing responsibility. Missing one dance wouldn't kill her, she'd missed several during her time at the school.
Millie twisted a ring of her hair, letting go of it slowly.
Wilma looked at her with a furrowed brow, "What's wrong honey?"
"Oh it's nothing, it's just that dress won't fit." She cried.
"Oh land sakes child. I knew you should have gotten that one you were eyeing in the store…" Wilma shook her head. "It's probably too late now…to go back."
Millie massaged her temple with a finger, "That's all right. I don't need to go to the dance, Wilma. You go and have a good time…you can tell me all about it later. I'll look forward to it." She bowed her head and started to head to the creek.
"Aw darlin' that's such a shame. Well, you could wear that dress you have on, I suppose, but a new dress always lifts the spirit…"
"I didn't want to spend the money, it wasn't mine. No, that's alright, I just won't go. I've got plenty of things I can do tonight. Don't worry about me." She called over her shoulder.
Wilma was upset, but she left when A.J. came to escort her to the dance. A.J. was really decked out in a suit and shiny new boots. They made a striking couple. She cast Millie a sad glance. "It's such a shame…"
Millie decided to get as far away from the music and people as she could. She enjoyed music and dancing, it was such a treat, but this was not the time for it. She carried her towel and lye soap down to the creek and when she was sure no one was around, she undressed and went into the chilly waters.
She was freezing so she hurried with her bath.
She'd just finished washing her hair and was wrapping herself in a towel when Joe came down the embankment. Her hair lay in ringlets down her back, dripping wet.