I minutely shook my head before flicking my gaze upward asking God for patience. I’m pretty sure murdering the best man at a wedding, the brother of the groom, would be frowned upon. “Let me make myself perfectly clear here: I do not need your help in getting laid. Especially not by Billy Miller.”
His brows shot to his forehead like a boy discovering a new use for his penis. “Damn, city. So, the rumors are true. You and Miller did the dirty tango already.”
“The wha—you know what, never mind.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to know. What I’ve done or haven’t done with Billy is none of your damn business.”
“Honey, hate to break it to ya, but this is Billingsley. Your business is everyone’s business. Especially when you two didn’t bother hiding anything at Leighton’s barbecue last summer.”
Damn this small town and their gossip. The only thing I could take some comfort in was knowing they didn’t actually know anything about what happened that night. Billy had remained as closed lipped about it as I had. I knew why I had, but why had he?
“Hey you two lovebirds,” Derek’s head squeezed between us as he hung a heavy arm around each of our shoulders.
“We are not together,” I immediately responded.
“Right.” He smirked, his tone full of disbelief. “It’s about time to see the bride and groom off, which means I need this guy’s help.” He nodded toward Wes.
Wes finally released his hold on me as both men took a step back. “Keep your skirt on until I get back, city. I won’t be long.”
I rolled my eyes as the two of them took off toward the parked cars. I spun in the direction of the bar in desperate need of a stiff drink. Once again, I was pulled from my quest when Leighton came out of nowhere, hooking my elbow through her arm, dragging me off course.
“Come on,” she said, pulling me toward a large, rambunctious group, throwing back drinks.
“I need a drink.”
“We have shots.”
Sold.
We squeezed between a few bodies until we were in the middle of the action. Aaron, Leighton’s husband, passed us each a shot before throwing his arm around his wife. We clinked glasses, and I tilted my head back, swallowing the shot in one gulp—the cool, sweet liquid sliding easily down my throat.
I reached my hand out greedily, immediately demanding another. A hand slipped from behind me, placing a shot glass in my grasp. I spun to thank the man, my words faltering once again.
“Cheers.” Billy raised his glass in what I hoped was a peace offering.
I hesitated a moment before tapping the edge of it with mine. Our eyes remained locked as we both downed the liquid courage. I swiped my tongue across my bottom lip, getting every last bit. His eyes followed the movement. My cheeks heated as the sexual chemistry I’d felt that first night surged forward like a volcanic eruption.
He cleared his throat, a brief glance over my shoulder, before pinning me with his stare again. “You wanna dance?”
I didn’t.
I wanted to run.
Far. Far. Away.
“Sure.” The word slipped through my lips.
Maybe it was the curiosity—why wasn’t he wanting to run far away from me? Or maybe it was the fact that I just couldn’t seem to control myself when it came to the gorgeous man in front of me. The man was my kryptonite. And the pull only intensified seeing him dressed in dark slacks and a white dress shirt that accentuated the defined body I knew was concealed below them.
He took my hand, turning his back to lead me to the dance floor. My eyes fluttered shut momentarily as I absorbed the heat of his palm and the strength of his hold on me. Breathing through my nose, I reminded myself he was just a man. I’d danced with plenty and kissed just as many. This man was no different. But my internal organs were at conflict, my heart saying maybe, my brain saying no way.
My breath quickened with the beat of the music as he pulled me into his firm embrace. It was familiar and terrifying all at once. I wasn’t sure if the rolling in my stomach was nausea or butterflies, which put me on edge even more.
“You look beautiful.” His voice flowed through me like a fine wine.
“Thank you.” I met his eyes for the first time since he’d pulled me into his arms. I took in the sharp edges of his jaw, the rugged perfectionism of his brown hair, and his soft hazel eyes. “You don’t look half bad yourself.” It was an understatement.
His smile spread slowly. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you all night… For longer, actually.”
I gave him a silent look. We both knew he had my number if that were truly the case.
His smile faded, and he looked away. “Look, about that night, I—”
“Let’s not talk about it,” I interrupted. “I didn’t mean what I said. I was drunk and…and I’d rather just forget it ever happened.”
“Forget it happened?” He pinned me with his stare once again.
I nodded with little confidence. I didn’t want to forget everything that happened between us that night. Just that small detail that had me skipping town as my heart and dignity shriveled up and died.
“Right,” he scoffed with a humorless laugh. “I guess that’s your M.O. then, isn’t it, Hannah?”
I pulled back, stepping out of his embrace. He didn’t fight to hold onto me and that alone hurt, not to mention his words.
“My M.O.?”
“Shit,” he grumbled under his breath, raking a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean that. I—”
“You know what? It’s obvious we both seem to say a lot of things we don’t mean when we’re around each other. So maybe it’s best we keep our distance.” I spun to leave.
Catching my wrist, he tugged me to a stop. “Hannah.”
“It was nice knowing you, Billy,” I threw over my shoulder, yanking my wrist from his grasp as I walked away. At least this time, I was the one leaving him at a loss.
Chapter 3
HANNAH
I’d never been a runner. I’d never been one to hide. But sometimes, it was necessary. With Billy, it was almost instinctual, a survival tactic. I didn’t look back to see how long he stood alone on the dance floor where I’d left him, or if he’d even watched me walk away. My eyes didn’t wander in search of him to see if he’d gone back to his date, the brunette who was my opposite in every way.
Nope. I did none of those things. Instead, I marched to the bar, swiping a bottle of champagne, ignoring the bartender’s objection as I continued past it and into the pitch black, away from the vibrant lights of the outdoor reception. I walked aimlessly, the party’s music and chatter fading into the background, until I found what looked like the perfect hiding spot: the barn.
I took a seat on a bale of hay and popped the bottle open, taking a swig. This had been a shit couple of weeks, between losing my job and seeing Billy again. I think I’d earned a little solitary time with a bottle of champagne and hay poking me in the ass through my dress. It appeared I was winning at life these days.
“Couldn’t stand to be away from me, could ya, city?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, my shoulders deflating at the sound of his voice from behind me. Wes plopped down next to me, snatching the bottle from my hands. I scowled as he took a sip.
“I hadn’t planned on sharing,” I said, swiping it back.
“Someone’s in a mood. What happened? Miller step on your toes?”
“Not exactly,” I muttered. Glancing up at him, my eyes widened. “How did you even know we danced?”
He shook his head with an amused smile.
“Never mind… Billingsley,” I responded to my own question, rolling my eyes upward.
“Now you’re getting it.”
“What are you even doing in here?”
He lifted the rope in his hand, the one I hadn’t noticed he was holding. “We needed some additional supplies for the getaway car.”
“Ah.” I nodded. “Aren’t you boys entirely too old for that?”
“No
pe. It’s how I keep my boyish good looks.” He flashed his pearly whites through the goofiest grin, his eyebrows bouncing up and down.
I laughed. I couldn’t help it.
“The better question is, what are you doing in here?” he asked, nudging my knee with his.
I shrugged, taking another long gulp of champagne. “Just needed a minute.”
We both sat in silence. Oddly, it wasn’t awkward, and I realized somewhere between him being a pain in my ass and an annoying overgrown child, he’d grown on me a little.
“If I tell you something, will you give me the honest truth? No sparing my feelings.”
“I knew it. You want me,” he smirked, stretching out his muscular arms as if preparing to take me on the barn floor.
I shook my head with a light chuckle. “Keep dreaming, Monroe.” I playfully shoved him away.
We grinned at each other.
“Let me hear it, city.”
Last summer…
Walking toward the old barn with the smoky smell of burning wood and barbecue in the air, I felt a strange surge of adrenaline, an anxious fluttering in my stomach. Maybe it was being in a new place, the thrill of a party and good music. Or maybe it was the sexy cowboy who’d caught my eye immediately, the one watching me and making his way toward where I now stood with Lottie, Tucker, and their friend, Leighton.
Men didn’t make me nervous. They didn’t make me question my blond hair, my looks, my confidence. I knew who I was, and I loved it. I may not have the biggest boobs, or the longest lashes, or luscious curves, but I didn’t care. I worked with the assets I was given, and I rocked them.
Maybe it came from growing up with two parents who exuded the same confidence. It’d been engrained in me since birth.
“The only person who defines who you are is you, Hannah. If someone doesn’t see your worth, then they aren’t worth your time. Remember that always.”
These words, among others, were what I grew up hearing. And I lived by them. Believed them. Every single day until the day I met Billy Miller.
It wasn’t that he made me feel like less of a person. He didn’t say anything to put me down or weaken my confidence. He did the exact opposite. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. He looked at me as if I was worth more. Like I had the potential to be even more.
It was what I saw in those gorgeous hazel eyes, heard in the deep tone of his voice, that knocked me off kilter. It made me feel nervous that I wouldn’t live up to expectations. Expectations I wanted to live up to. Ones I wanted to excel at so that even if we only had one night together, it would be one we’d never forget.
It was definitely one I’d never forget…just not in the way I’d hoped.
I stood aside as Lottie hugged the handsome, muscular cowboy, admiring the way his jeans formed to him, giving definition to his perfect ass. She stepped out of his arms to introduce him.
“Billy, this—”
“Must be the friend from Seattle. Hannah, right?” He cracked that killer smile, eagerly taking my hand in his before Lottie could finish.
A weird sensation tickled my insides. “How did you know?” I smiled back, doing my best to not outwardly appear as nervous as I felt while our handshake lingered. “I thought I was doing a pretty good job at blending in.”
His smile was smooth. Confident. Beautiful. One I felt all the way to my core. “I know every pretty face ’round here and yours isn’t one I’d forget. Besides, a face like yours, you’d never be able to blend in, no matter how hard you tried.”
I felt my cheeks heat and for a moment I thought maybe I was coming down with something. His words weren’t anything I wasn’t used to. I’d heard it all. I was used to men’s eyes and hands lingering a little too long on my body.
That, I could handle. That, I could brush aside as a typical hookup. But Billy, I knew immediately, had the potential of being more. The way his eyes held mine, barely perusing my body, that connection, that palpable chemistry encircling us, heating my skin, was what made me take notice. He looked beyond my carefully put together exterior and saw me.
Leighton cleared her throat, knocking me out of the trance I’d been in. “Billy, Aaron was looking for you earlier. He’s needing some help with slicing up the briskets.”
“Sure.” Billy nodded, his eyes barely flicking to his sister before landing back on me. “I guess I’ll see ya ’round.”
“You can count on it.” I winked, my smile stretching wider.
Somewhere in the evening, my whole world started to revolve around Billy Miller—his good looks, his charm, his smile, his woodsy cologne, the way his eyes lit up when he told me stories about growing up with Lottie and the rest of the Billingsley crew, and more importantly, the way he listened when I talked. He was truly interested in me and my life in Seattle.
Between the alcohol and Billy, I was feeling a new high I wasn’t accustomed to. There was no doubt in my mind I wanted him to take me home. I jumped on the opportunity, volunteering him to when Lottie and Tucker were ready to leave. There was no way I was ready to tell him goodbye.
The door slammed against the wall as we tripped over the threshold, a mess of eager hands and mouths.
“Shit,” Billy mumbled between our pressed lips, both of us smiling through our kiss. “If that left a hole, Tucker’s going to kill me.” He lifted his head to look around me at where the doorknob had potentially left a hole in the wall.
“It’s fine.” With my fingers buried in his hair, I pulled his mouth back to mine, our feet tangling as we stumbled into Lottie’s newly renovated farmhouse.
Hands frantically fumbled, buttons popped, clothes ripped until we were stripped bare, a trail of clothing in our wake. Billy’s hands cupped my ass, lifting me into his arms. My legs wrapped around a lean waist, my hips grinding greedily, my head spinning from the sear of his kiss—or maybe it was the alcohol.
My back landed on the bed as he tossed me from his masculine frame. He smiled, his eyes scanning my naked body in appreciation as he sheathed himself in a condom. I lifted to my elbows, anxious and needy as I watched his slow prowl toward me. He bit his bottom lip, and all I could think of was how much I needed that mouth back on me.
I crooked a finger, beckoning him to me. He obliged, crawling over me at an achingly slow pace, settling between my legs. His lips coasted along my skin, pressing to my inner thighs before meeting my middle. My hips lifted from the bed, my body demanding more, more, more. His hands pressed me back to the mattress, a light chuckle falling from his lips as he moved up my body.
Those same strong hands gripped my wrists, pinning them above my head, our eyes locking—mirth in his, impatience in mine.
“Calm down, baby. I’m about to show you how to ride a real man.”
Flipping us expertly, he rolled me atop his body. I mimicked his wicked smile as I guided his full length into me, finally filling my body with his. My head fell back as I began to move, his hips thrusting as he gripped my waist, setting the tempo. Sheets were twisted, pillows were tossed, moans and cries of ecstasy filled the air as we flipped and turned, riding the wave of pleasure, until our drugged bodies were sated and weak and the sun was only hours away.
His body blanketed mine as we caught our breaths for the second time. Hovering mere inches above me as he stared down at me, his smile faded slightly as he brushed a wayward hair from my face. I looked up at him expectantly, curious about the thoughts running through his mind.
Running the pad of his thumb across my cheekbone, he gave me my answer, “Even though I know you’re going to be the one that got away, I wouldn’t change being here with you right now.”
His words were more than I expected but expressed exactly how I felt. My mouth met his, and I let myself get lost in the high that was Billy Miller for the rest of the night.
Still half asleep, head pounding, body sweating, tummy turning, I popped up in bed. The bed shifted beside me and for a moment I forgot I wasn’t alone. I jumped with his t
ouch, then relaxed.
“Everything okay?” Billy’s voice was a soothing balm for my groggy head.
I nodded, falling back to the mattress, pressing my cheek to his firm chest as he cradled me into his side. His fingers stroked my back, relaxing me further as my eyes drifted closed and my brain fell back to sleep. I moaned my pleasure, feeling content.
“Does that feel good?” he whispered, pressing his lips to the top of my head.
“Mmm…I love you.”
His hand halted and my eyes flicked open. That’s not what I meant to say. The word had slipped out. I’d intended to say I love THAT. But before I had a chance to explain my slip up, what had initially woken me came back full force. My stomach churned and the bile shot up. I lifted my head and vomit splattered all over his bare chest before either of us could make a move.
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand as I covered it, my stomach still turning. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!”
I jumped from the bed, running for a towel in the bathroom. I returned, flinging it at him. Knowing I was mere seconds from losing my stomach again, I ran back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.
A soft knock followed. “Hannah?”
“Stay out! I’ll be out in a second!” My throat burned along with my cheeks.
After I was sure nothing else was going to come up, I stood from the toilet. Washing my hands, I looked at myself in the mirror, ready to die. Embarrassed wasn’t the right word for how I was feeling. Utterly mortified was barely adequate. I splashed some cool water over my flushed cheeks before drying off. I took a deep breath after pulling on a robe and opened the door, knowing I couldn’t hide in the bathroom forever.
It wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t believe a word I was feeding myself. Not before and definitely not after I found Billy fully dressed standing in the living room, waiting for me, the sunlight filtering in through the windows behind him.
I pulled the robe tighter, my arms holding my stomach protectively. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, his eyes refusing to meet mine.
Love Me Like I Love You Page 40