Love Me Like I Love You

by Willow Winters

  “Funny,” she starts, flicking her gaze back to Chase. “You can go shopping but can’t work. Convenient too, since my grandbabies were just born.”

  “A five-minute shopping trip isn’t the same as an eight-hour shift,” I snap and Chase grabs my wrist, pulling me to him in an attempt to curb my temper. It’s not the first time this week I’ve uncharacteristically snapped at someone. “And it’s Chase’s friend who’s been helping until Chase is better.”

  Mrs. Henson doesn’t know what to say. Her nostrils flare and she narrows her eyes, looking at Chase.

  “If only you could see what he’s done to you,” she harshly whispers. “So many people in this town look up to you, Sierra. You’re disappointing all of us.”

  Chase steps forward. “Get over yourself, Judy. Sierra’s more of a role model than you’ll ever be. She’s smart and kind and knows when to let shit go. Every time you see me, you’re reminded that your husband cheated on you. We all fucking get it, but it’s time to get over it, leave me alone, and stay the hell away from Sierra.” With that, he walks forward, tugging my hand so I follow. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Judy sputtering, and then shaking her head as she pushes her cart forward.

  If there weren’t a more pressing issue on hand, I would have been upset over Judy’s harsh words and the fact that she’s going to go run her mouth to everyone about Chase telling her off…and will make it ten times worse. Though right now, all I can think about is whether I’m pregnant or not. And how bad I have to pee.

  I read over the instructions as we drive home, though it’s not like I need to. You pee on the stick, wait, and read your fate. Nervous, I read every word. Even the words in Spanish. Chase doesn’t say anything on the way home and stays quiet when we go into my house and into the bathroom.

  “It says to wait three minutes before looking,” I tell him. “So I’m going to pee on it then flip it over.”

  “Okay.” Chase lets out a breath and steps outside the bathroom door. “I feel like I should tell you good luck.”

  “Right? I think I need it.” I shut the door and sit on the toilet, thinking about the past week. I chalked the tiredness up to the stress of Chase getting sick. I get cravings every now and then, and it’s actually irritated me before when people jump to the ‘are you pregnant’ question whenever I mention I want a certain food. The moodiness and heightened sense of smell…yeah, that’s out of the norm for me.

  I cap the test, flip it over, and put it on the closed toilet lid. I wash my hands and open the door. Chase is already looking at his watch. My fingers tremble and I feel sick.

  “It’s going to be okay,” he tells me. “Whatever it says, we’ll get through it.”

  I nod, trying hard not to let myself get ahead. Being pregnant with Chase’s baby is the last thing I thought would happen, but actually isn’t the worst. I look at him, admiring his physical beauty. Then it hits me how there’s still so much about him I don’t know.

  “What’s wrong?” Chase asks, then quickly shakes his head. “Stupid question. You’re anxious, I know.” He looks at his watch again. “Two and a half minutes to go.”

  I cross my arms, consider letting the issue go. But if there’s a chance I’m actually pregnant…I look up again. “Why did you steal the boat?”

  “What boat?”

  “The first night we met, you told me you went to Scotland to steal a boat. Why?”

  Chase takes in a deep breath and I’m pretty sure he’s going to deflect my question and tell me we can talk about it at another time. We have a situation on hand right now, anyway.

  “I was paid to.”

  “You were paid to steal a boat?”

  “Basically. But the boat was already stolen…in a way. I was getting it back.”

  I sit on the edge of the bathtub. “I don’t understand.”

  “The owner of the boat defaulted on his payments. I was hired by the man who sold it to him to get it back. So I did.”

  “Is that why you’ve been arrested before?”

  Chase doesn’t look surprised that I know. “I didn’t get arrested that time.” He pauses, waiting to see if I’m going to ask him another question. When I don’t, he checks his watch again.

  “Lisa told me you came to the bank with a lot of cash. She thought it was weird and had Rob run a background check. She told me that you’ve been arrested more than once.” My spine tingles with anxiety, not just from the unknown results of the pregnancy test, but out of fear this conversation isn’t going to go the way I want it to. “I told myself that it didn’t matter. I love you. I trust you. The past is in the past.” I close my eyes, feeling tears well behind the closed lids. “I’ve been feeling guilty lately because it does matter, and I do want to know. I don’t want to judge you. I don’t want what happened before me to influence what we have or what’s to come. But there’s so much about you I don’t know, and no matter how hard I try to tell myself to get over it, I can’t, and I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t feel guilty. And yes, I’ve been arrested more than once.” He gives me a half-smile. “I’ve lost count of how many times, to be honest. I left college because I was presented an opportunity. In college, I was good friends with a guy who had very wealthy parents. They were investors or something…I don’t remember the details. They had a huge penthouse in downtown Chicago and a garage full of expensive cars. My friend liked to take them out and pick up women.” Chase leans on the doorframe.

  “One night he got too drunk and somehow lost the keys to his father’s Aston Martin. I was able to track down the car and get it back with no trouble. My friend’s father was pretty fucking pleased he didn’t have to go through insurance or anything and could keep covering up the fact his son was a dumbass. Word got around and one of his friends contacted me, saying he has something stolen too and needed it back, and would pay me ten percent of the item’s worth if I got it back. I recovered twenty-thousand dollars in jewelry, then found out he lost it in a poker game.”

  “That’s why you left college?”

  “That was the start. The rich businessmen in Chicago talk at the bars after work, and just a week later, someone contacted me about being an ‘independent contractor’ for his clients. When expensive items showed up missing, I’d get them back. Most of the time I recovered items that money was owed on. Lots of money.”

  “So, you repossessed things?”

  “Yeah. In a way, but a lot less legal, which is why I’ve been arrested so many times. It’s more like bounty hunting for million-dollar items. And I got paid a percentage of the item’s worth. Fifteen percent was my usual rate. And that’s how I met Jax. I was hired to recover a yacht and he was hired to recover a helicopter. That was on the yacht.”

  I blink, taking it all in. Chase isn’t a bad person. A knot in my chest loosens, and I feel guilty it was even there in the first place. “Why were the charges dropped?”

  “Once we get to the station and both sides of the story are hashed out, things are ruled in my favor. Like the helicopter-yacht guy, once you stop paying for your items, the bank technically owns them. And when people from the bank hire me to go get them, it’s clear I’m not stealing for my own personal collection. It takes a while to get to that point though. And a lot of cops seem to enjoy arresting people. Don’t tell Rob,” he adds with a smile.

  “And that’s why you moved a lot too, right?”

  “It’s part of it. I’d go where I was needed and enjoyed seeing the different parts of the world.”

  People don't take kindly to having items repossessed or foreclosed. That explains the assault charges and makes me realize he’s used to a certain level of daily danger. “Do you miss it?”

  “No,” he answers right away. “I enjoyed the thrill of the hunt, but even when I’d find what I was looking for, it never felt like it. I was onto the next, searching for something I couldn’t explain. Something I didn’t know I needed until I met you.”

  My heart skips a beat and more tears well in m
y eyes.

  “It’s been three minutes,” he says softly.

  “You do it.”

  He steps forward and picks up the test, trying to stay calm. I cover my face with my hands, unable to look. My heart starts racing and I feel sick. Maybe it’s morning sickness.

  “Just to be sure, one line means it’s negative, right?”

  “Right.” I move my hands and look up. One line. Thank God.

  “Then you’re pregnant.” Chase flips the test over and two dark pink lines stare up at me. I blink and look at the test again. There are two lines. Two obvious lines. We probably didn’t need to wait the whole three minutes for those suckers to show up. “Sierra?” Chase asks softly, setting the test down. “You okay?”

  “I…I…I don’t know. Are you?”

  “I’m in the same boat.” Chase takes my hand and leads me to the living room. He slowly sits and I go into overdrive making sure he’s okay.

  “You didn’t take your medicine yet tonight.” I spring up and go into the kitchen, returning with his pills and a glass of water. “Take it.”

  “Sierra,” Chase says calmly, knowing that I’m desperately looking for a distraction. He takes his pills and then pulls me into his arms. I rest my head on his chest and lay still, listening to his heart beating. “At least we know why you’ve been so tired.”

  I sit up so I can look at him, not knowing if I should laugh or cry. It comes out as an awkward mixture of both. “I don’t know what to do. I’m not ready to have a baby.

  Chase wipes away a tear. “Neither am I. I don’t know anything about babies. Or pregnancies.” He rests his forehead against mine. “Let’s take a day or two and let this sink in before we make a decision, okay?”

  “Okay.” I exhale and melt into Chase. My mind is running a million miles an hour and I’m working hard to resist getting up and Googling all things pregnancy. I always knew I wanted to get married and have kids. I didn’t expect either of that to happen anytime soon…or at all, after Jake died.

  I’m still getting used to the fact that I was able to fall in love again.

  “Are you tired now?” Chase asks.

  “Kind of. Mentally, I’m not, but it’s like my body can’t keep up.”

  “You’re growing a human. Fuck that’s weird to say. Weird, and amazing. You have a little person inside of you.” Chase slides his hand down onto my abdomen. “Our person.”

  “Our baby.”

  As the words slip from my mouth, everything clicks into place. The timing is all wrong, but is there ever a perfect time for things like this? Won’t I always find some reason to prolong starting a family, even after marriage?

  I know the truth about Chase’s past and am so looking forward to telling Lisa. I’ll try not to gloat too much about being right that he’s a good person.

  “I don’t want to tell anyone yet,” I say. “Let’s just keep it between us for a few days.”

  “That’s fine with me.” Chase kisses my neck. “I’m still in shock.”

  “Me too.”

  Chase keeps his hand on my belly and lays back. I get hit with another vision, though this time, it’s not about death or dying. It’s this: Chase and me on the couch, with his hand on my belly. Though in my mind, I’m close to my due date and we’re both feeling the baby kick.

  “I love you, Sierra,” he whispers and I get an overwhelming sense that things are meant to be. That all the heartbreak and tragedy I went through before shaped me into who I am today.

  “I love you, too.”

  I look down the aisle, shoulders hunching forward as I reach out. Pausing, I listen for any signs of life. The store is empty, and Mrs. Williams is in the back, going over inventory. She never goes over inventory. Most of what’s in stock is on the shelves anyway. I take the time alone to grab the book What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I randomly open it to a page about mucus plugs, read a paragraph and feel entirely unprepared. With a shudder, I put the book away and move on, dusting the shelves.

  The cramps continued throughout the night, worsening today. Chase kept me from asking Dr. Google what’s wrong, and instead I’m calling the doctor today. I never rescheduled the appointment I missed when Chase was in the hospital. It would have been too late then anyway. I was already pregnant at that point.

  I call the doc on my lunch break and am able to get an appointment Monday morning. Since I don’t know when I conceived—holy shit that’s weird to think about—they can do an ultrasound that day as well. It hasn’t been a full twenty-four hours since we found out I was pregnant, but it already seems like so much has changed.

  I finish dusting and go back to the register, sitting behind the counter. Chase has been texting me throughout the morning, making sure I’m okay, and vice versa. I can use his recovery as a good excuse to lounge around and do nothing, giving us more time to come to terms with everything. Though I will have to think of something good to say when my family notices I’m not drinking any wine.

  Mrs. Williams leaves for the day around eleven, and I’m alone in the store until tonight. Customers trickle in and out, and I entertain myself with texting Chase, mindlessly scrolling through Facebook and Instagram, and reading. Around one, Chase comes in with lunch.

  “Orange chicken and fried rice,” I say before I even open the bag. “You drove two hours to get me food.” My eyes gloss over proving that this obnoxious display of emotions is due to hormones.

  “I did,” Chase says and kisses me. “I came home and heated it up so it’d be warm. Hopefully it’s still good.”

  I open my to-go container and take a bite. “It’s the best.”

  “Are you crying over Chinese food?”

  “Yes! Don’t judge me.”

  Chase laughs and comes around the counter. His hands land on my hips and he gives me another kiss. “Does this make you horny enough to have sex tonight?”

  I laugh, shaking my head. “Oh, I want to. Trust me, I do. But it’s too soon to risk hurting you.”

  “What about this?” His arms slip to my back and he kisses me, deep and passionate. My knees weaken and if it weren’t for Chase holding me up, I’d be on the floor right now. The bell rings and we break apart.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” Lisa says, making a gagging noise. “I came in to buy porn to read, not see.”

  “I should charge you extra,” I say back with a smile. “And you don’t read.”

  “Not very often.” She gives Chase a wave. “I’d ask how you’re doing, but I see you’re getting along just fine.”

  He chuckles. “I’m getting there. Sierra’s been taking good care of me.”

  “Ew. You two make me sick.”

  “Should I be sorry?” I ask, making a face.

  Lisa waves her hand in the air. “Nah. I’ll just hate you in secret.”

  I laugh. “How’s work?” I ask.

  “Meh, the same. Francine came in today.” She dramatically rolls her eyes. “Which is why I came in here on my lunch break. I cannot fucking stand her and need to gossip.”

  Chase takes his arms from around my waist. “I’ll leave you two to talk. I’m gonna go see my nephews.” He kisses me again.

  “You’re supposed to go home and rest.”

  “I’m bored resting. And I feel fine.”

  “You won’t feel fine if you pop a stitch.”

  “The stitches are halfway dissolved by now.”

  I shudder. “That’s kind of gross to think about.”

  “Don’t think about it,” Chase says with a laugh. He kisses me again. “I love you,” he says quietly.

  “Love you, too.”

  He leaves and Lisa waits until he’s out the door and down the street to talk. “So, you two are acting like a normal couple?”

  “We are a normal couple.”

  She looks away, eating the words she wants to say, then looks back with a smile. “Right.”

  “I talked to him,” I blurt. “I asked him why he has so much money and why he was arre
sted.”

  “And?”

  “He repossessed items for the super-rich. They paid him cash and he got arrested more than once because he looked guilty until things were explained. And people sometimes got violent with him, hence the assault charges. But everything was dropped once the dust settled and it was clear what he was doing. He said he worked a lot for banks.”

  “And you believe him?”

  “I do.” Not believing him isn’t an option. Chase wouldn’t lie. The first night we met, he talked about taking that boat. Why would he lie then when we had nothing between us? “It makes sense, Lisa. That’s how he met Jax too, and why his record is similar to Chase’s. They’re basically bounty hunters, which is actually really hot to say out loud.”

  “It’s not like he’s saving the world or anything,” Lisa quips.

  My brow furrows. “I know. And he’s done with all that. He’s happy here, with me.” With us.

  “Assuming it’s all true, then I’m sorry. He’s not a bad guy.”

  “He’s not. And he’s going to be around for, well, forever. So please go back to liking him.”

  “Fine. So you wanna hear the latest Francine drama?”

  “Always.”

  Chapter 28

  Chase

  I gently cradle my nephew to my chest, looking down at his tiny little face. He blinks up at me, opening his mouth as he lets out a soft coo. He yawns and his eyelids get heavy. I rock him back and forth, and he falls asleep.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tell my brother. “This baby thing is easy.”

  Josh gives me a dead stare. “He was exhausted from crying nonstop before you got here.”